44. Chapter 44

My early Thanksgiving present to all those who are celebrating is a chapter uploaded early! Very thankful for all the support/kind reviews/positive thoughts xo

"The jury made a decision," Hank announced, stepping out of his office, coat in hand, "Valdez just called."

Erin and Jay leapt up from their desks simultaneously. Jay handed Erin her coat and they quickly exited the district, driving in silence to the courthouse. The anxiety that hung between them was palpable, neither detective able to vocalize the nervousness they felt surrounding Jackson's hopeful conviction. While the little family had a relaxing weekend together, it was shrouded in Erin and Jay's worry about the trial. Lewis was an incredibly skilled attorney and while Valdez was good too, the jury appeared skeptical of the role CPD played in Jackson's arrest.

Kate had clearly picked up on her parents worry, but chose not to address it, instead clinging to Jay's legs at drop off, begging him to take her with them to the district. Normally, the little girl was excited to go to school, but this Monday morning she was not having it. "Take me with you, Daddy," she begged, looking up at her father with large, watery orbs, "Please, please, I wanna come to work with you."

"I know, kiddo, but you've got to go to school. You love learning," Jay squatted down to meet his little girl's eyes, "And you'll be with us in a few hours, Sergeant Platt is going to pick you up and then we'll see each other, okay?"

"But I want to come with you now," Kate's lower lip trembled as she willed herself not to cry, "I-I don't wanna be by myself."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Erin ran a hand over the top of Kate's head as she stood behind her little girl, "Daddy and I have a really busy day ahead of us, and you're going to have way more fun at school than at the district. But afterwards, we're all going to be together and tonight we can have pizza for dinner, how about that?"

It had taken a lot of convincing, but Kate agreed to go to school with the caveat that her parents would be together all day, and that she and Sergeant Platt would venture to the library for a few new books once she finished her day. It always tugged on her parent's heartstrings to leave their little girl when all she wanted was to be with them, but they knew that it was important for her to understand they couldn't be together all the time.

"What if they don't convict him?" Erin whispered to Jay as they took their seats in the courthouse, "What if after everything we've been through, everything he did to Kate, the jury doesn't convict him of the abuse of a child?"

"I don't know, babe," Jay murmured, resting a hand on Erin's thigh, "But we'll figure it out, okay?"

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" The judge barked after banging his gavel. The detectives snapped to attention, training their gaze on the back of ASA Valdez's head as she stood before the stand.

"We have, your Honor," one juror stood, the verdict in his hand.

"What say you?"

The juror proceeded to convict Jackson of all drug and possession of child pornography charges, as well as for the murder of Sarah Harding. "On the charge of abuse of a tender aged child in the first degree, we find the defendant, guilty."

Erin and Jay let out a breath of relief, Erin leaning into her partner's shoulder, "Thank God," she murmured into his neck, "Thank God."

Jay sighed, offering a tired smile at ASA Valdez when she turned around. "I think we'll all sleep better tonight knowing that bastard is behind bars for what he did to Kate. And to you."

"Congratulations, you two," Hank smiled at his detectives after they had exited the court room, "Glad the jury came up on the right side this time."

"Me too," Erin nodded, "Ruzek texted, he said that they got a confession from the drug dealer?"

"Mm-hm," Hank confirmed, "Case is wrapping up, I'm headed back to the district to sign off."

"Great, we'll meet you there," Erin replied, but her partner interrupted.

"Actually, Sarge, can you give us an hour or two?"

Both Erin and Hank looked at Jay quizzically, "What do we need to do?" Erin asked him, "Platt's already picking Kate up in like ten minutes."

Jay nodded, "I know. I was just thinking that while we're at the courthouse, maybe we could file the adoption application?" He smiled as he watched his girl's features soften, as well as his boss, "I mean, we're here and you're already her mom but we should get it down on paper-"

"Yes," Erin grinned, "Yes, yes, let's do it." She looked up at her sergeant, who nodded his approval, unable to keep the smile off his face.

"I was freaking out about verdict," Erin told Jay as they walked up the steps toward the bullpen, "And I think Kate picked up on it, that's why she was so anxious before school."

"She's really in tune with people's emotions," Jay replied, scanning his hand and pulling open the door when it buzzed, "I bet she'd make a great detective – literally nothing gets by her."

Erin smiled wistfully, "Babe, that kid is so smart, I think she could do any job there is." She glanced around the office, her grin widening as she saw back of her little girl's head while she sat at the table in the breakroom. "Platt must have already taken her to the library, look at how she's concentrating on that book."

"So smart," Jay mused, observing his daughter from afar, "I really wonder where she gets it from, because Will and I used to hate reading." He paused and turned to Erin, "She must get it from you."

"Babe, we just filed the adoption application. As much as I wish I was, I'm not biologically related to her." Erin patted him on the chest lightly, "But that doesn't make me love her any differently."

Jay nodded, leaning down to kiss his girlfriend's lips, thankful for the empty bullpen, "I know. I just see so much of her in you, it's incredible. Eight months ago, I had no idea she existed, and you brought her out of that closet and into our lives because she knew that she could trust you. And I can't thank you enough for that babe, I really can't." He swallowed and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I am so glad that you're going to be her forever mom."

Erin cupped her partner's cheek with her hand, "Me too."

"Mommy? Daddy?" Kate turned around from her seat in the breakroom and caught sight of her parents standing by the steps. "You're back!"

"Hey, baby," Erin squatted down to envelope the little girl in a hug, grinning from ear to ear as her daughter raced toward her and threw herself into her mother's waiting arms, "Gosh, I missed you today."

"How was your day, kiddo?" Jay asked, crouching down beside his partner, "Did you learn a lot?"

Kate nodded seriously, "But I missed you guys."

"We missed you more," Jay stroked his baby's cheek, "But we have some good news for you." He exchanged a glance with Erin, who nodded, encouraging him to tell their daughter, "Mr. P is going to be in jail for a very long time. You don't have to worry about him getting you anymore, okay?"

"Really?" Kate widened her eyes as she regarded her parents, "He's-he's in jail? For good?"

"Yep," Erin confirmed, "He's going to a maximum-security prison down state, far away from here. You're safe, baby, we promise."

"I'm glad," Kate exhaled, leaning against Erin, "I was worried." She smiled brightly, "But now he can't hurt you guys."

"That's right, Squirt," Jay nodded, "And we have some more good news for you, too." He squeezed Erin's hand, "Today, Mommy and I officially filed the papers so that we can be your forever parents. So soon, once a judge signs off, we're going to have a big celebration."

Kate threw her arms around Jay's neck at his statement, "Forever, right?" She said, pulling back quickly to look at her mother, who was quickly wiping the tears of joy from her eyes, "That means no matter what, you gonna be my mommy and Daddy's gonna be my daddy?"

"Absolutely," Erin kissed Kate's cheek, "We're going to be a family, forever. Does that sound good to you?"

The little girl nodded furiously, reaching out to hug her mother, "I so glad you saved me," she breathed, "So glad."

"Night, Sarge, thanks," Jay waved to Platt as he and Erin exited the district before 6pm, a rare feat for the couple. He was holding Kate's hand in his own as they set out to brave the windy Chicago evening before a familiar face stopped him in his tracks.

"Hey, son," Pat Halstead stood from his seat on the bench.

Jay's jaw dropped slightly and Kate quickly stepped behind her father's leg, "Dad…what are you doing here?"

"I haven't seen you in months, Jay," the older man said brusquely, "You'd think a son would be happy to see his old man." Pat glanced down at the child who was obstructed by his son's leg, "Who's this?"

"My daughter," Jay replied shortly, "Kate."

Pat raised his eyebrows, "I've saw her last time I came around lookin' for you. Huh. And where might this child's mother be?"

"Sorry, babe, Hank wanted to touch base on the Jones homicide," Erin was searching in her bag for her keys but looked up when she caught sight of who her partner was talking to. She paused, "Hi, I'm Erin Lindsay. Jay's partner." Erin extended her palm, which Pat shook.

"Partner, huh," Pat grunted, "You are not the same woman who showed up on my doorstep five years ago, claiming to be pregnant with my grandchild."

Erin gasped. "Excuse me?" Jay choked out, "What are you talking about?"He placed a hand on Kate's shoulder and could feel the little girl trembling behind his leg. He narrowed his eyes when the man in front of him didn't immediately respond, "Dad?"

Pat shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, a few years back, some pregnant girl showed up at the house, lookin' for you. Said you were the father. I gave her your number, but I figured she was just lookin' for money." He raised his eyebrows and looked at Erin, "You're tellin' me you got another woman pregnant?"

Jay was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Jillian Turner had shown up at his childhood home, looking for him. "What-no-Erin is my girlfriend. She's adopting Kate. Not that it's any of your business," Jay ran a hand over his face, "Why didn't you tell me that a woman came by looking for me?"

"I hadn't heard from you in months. I thought she was lookin' for money. So what, you had a baby out of wedlock, dumped the woman and kept the kid?" Pat scoffed, "If your mother could see you now-"

"You knew that I had a child," Jay interrupted, "You knew, and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't know anything," Pat bit back, "Still don't, apparently, because clearly you've been raising this kid so somehow the woman found you or-"

"Eight months ago," Jay informed him tersely, "Eight months ago, Kate's mother got out of prison and came to tell me that people were abusing her daughter. My daughter. And we found her traumatized, physically and emotionally abused but what I don't understand, is how you knew about her, but didn't tell me." He swallowed, "Which means that if you had just put the fucking bottle down, my little girl wouldn't have been subject the torture that she endured. And she would have been safe."

"Jay," Erin said quietly, resting a hand on her partner's shoulder, "Come on, not here."

"Wasn't my fault you knocked up the bitch," Pat sneered. He glanced down at the shaking child who had shrunk farther back.

Jay opened his mouth to speak, but Erin spoke first, "Jay. Think of who is in the room right now. Not in front of Kate." She placing one arm around the little girl and left her palm on her partner's shoulder, trying to ground him. Kate swiftly turned into Erin with a whimper, so she hoisted her into her arms, "It's okay, baby, we're leaving."

"We're leaving," Jay confirmed, turning away from his father and following his girls out the back door, not bothering to glance at the man who stood behind him.

"Daddy?" Kate's small voice penetrated the silence of the Sierra as Erin drove along the street. Jay had been unable to speak following his run in with his father and had quietly slid into the passenger seat.

"Yes, kiddo?" Jay cleared his throat and turned around to look at his little girl, the streetlights casting a flickering glow on her sweet face as they drove, "What's up?"

"How come you're upset at your daddy?"

He paused, unable to find the words to reply. Erin turned her head quickly to try to get a read on what he was thinking, but quickly returned her eyes to the road. "We, um, have a very complicated relationship. And we, uh, never really got along when I was growing up." Jay took a deep breath, "And he didn't tell me that your biological mother came looking for me before you were born."

Jay could practically see the wheels turning in his little girl's head as she absorbed the information, "My bi-logical mofer wanted to tell you 'bout me?"

"I'm not sure, sweetheart," Jay replied honestly, "I don't know. But I do know that my dad met her, and knew there was a possibility that you existed, and never told me about it."

"Cause you think then I coulda been with you, 'stead of Mr. P?" Kate whispered, piecing together what Jay was thinking.

He drew a sharp intake of breath at the little girl's statement before nodding his head grimly, "Maybe, I don't know. I-I just wish he had said something. And that I had known about you sooner."

Kate nodded in agreement, "I know, Daddy." She glanced out the window before quickly turning back to look at her father, "But you know what?"

"Hm?" Jay asked, swallowing thickly, "What?"

"Even though I got hurt and I still get scared, I got found. By you and Mommy." She offered a shy smile, "And we a family now."

A watery grin spread across Jay's face as he looked at his angelic baby, resting in her car seat. How she was so wise beyond her years blew him away time and time again. "You're right, Squirt, we are a family now."

"Okay, babes, we're having a girls night tonight while Daddy is at his meeting. What do you want to do for dinner?" Erin was squatting in front of her little girl while she sat at the table in the breakroom, working on a coloring sheet. While Monday had been incredibly eventful for the family, Tuesday was a much slower day, all members of Intelligence feeling relieved that Paul Jackson was behind bars.

"Daddy not comin' home?" Kate looked up from her project, alarmed, "Where's he going?"

"Remember how Daddy goes to meetings on Tuesdays after work?" Erin said gently, "He's going to talk with some of his, um, friends, and then he'll be home a bit later. No big deal." She smiled, "And that means you and I are having a girls night, doesn't that sound like fun?"

Kate nodded slowly, recalling that her father frequented meetings to talk about his past, "But…Daddy's coming home?"

"You bet," Jay piped up, entering the breakroom and placing a hand on Erin's shoulder, "You and Mommy are going to have a fun night together though. And I'll come check on you when I get home, I promise."

Kate nodded again and smiled, relieved. "Mommy, can we make tacos for dinner?"

Erin chuckled and glanced up at Jay, "I think that's a great idea. Daddy's still a little bit afraid of tacos." He nodded grimly, recalling how back in June, a few weeks before Kate came into their lives, Halstead, Atwater and Ruzek stopped at a small taco truck after wrapping up a case. All three of them dealt with some of the worst food poisoning imaginable. Jay spent 24 hours on the bathroom floor, at some points feebly sprawled across Erin's lap as she comforted him.

When he was finally feeling better, Jay had been mortified at the whole experience, but it only confirmed his love for Erin, who sat with him and forced him to drink water despite the fact that he could keep nothing down. He remembered how he thought that she would make an incredible mother, but kept those thoughts to himself as to not freak out his girl.

"Yeah, I don't do tacos," Jay said wryly, "But it sounds like you two will have a great time."

"What do you say baby, can we head to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients? I think we can get out of here a bit early," Erin grinned as Kate enthusiastically bounced off her chair.

"You gonna come home tonight, right?" Kate looked up at Jay expectantly, waiting for reconfirmation that her father was indeed coming home, albeit a bit later than usual.

"Absolutely," Jay lifted the little girl into his arms, "You and Mommy are going to have a great time, and I'll be home before you know it. I promise."

"Uh, Jay Halstead. Rangers. Afghanistan," Jay swallowed thickly, "I don't know, I guess the past few weeks, months even, have been rough. I, uh, found out about eight months ago that I was a dad and that there was a little girl who was out there, all alone and um, was being really badly abused."

He paused and glanced around the room of rough and tumble military men and women, all whose gazes softened, "And we, uh, my partner and I, we found her and brought her home. I…I never knew I could love someone so quickly, so easily, but this kid…man, she is just amazing." Jay smiled wistfully, but it quickly faded, "But uh, she was really hurt by these bastards. And was in the hospital but she's slowly getting better. And stronger and less things scare her now. But, um, what hasn't changed are the nightmares. She-she wakes up screaming almost every night, and I wake up and my blood runs cold because all of a sudden I'm back in the valley and…" He trailed off, unable to complete the thought.

"But after a second I realize that I'm home, in Chicago, and there's a little girl who's been through unimaginable and all of a sudden, everything I'm feeling feels like nothing." Jay grimaced. "Um, a few weeks ago, I had a real bad night. Like I was fine and then I woke up in another state and didn't know what happened. And the worst part about it is that I left my girls scared and alone even though I promised myself I would never do that to anyone." He swallowed again, "So um, that's why I'm back. Because even though my kid's seen the worst, she and my girlfriend need me to be okay."

Jay quietly slipped into the apartment just before midnight. The meeting had run a bit longer, and he had been too emotionally drained to drive. He and another veteran named Michael drank coffee and sat silently in the fold-up metal chairs, decompressing from the heavy conversation. Erin had texted to say that tacos had been a great success, and that she and Kate were headed to bed after a few stories.

After checking on his sleeping little girl and pressing a kiss to her forehead, Jay shed his Henley before climbing into bed beside his girl, who was cuddled up to an extra pillow in leiu of her partner. "Hey, babe," she mumbled, tossing the pillow to the ground and immediately cuddling closer to Jay, "How'd the meeting go?"

Jay sighed, relaxing into Erin's touch, "Long. But good. How did the tacos go over?"

"She loved them," Erin ran a hand over Jay's chest, "She was worried that you weren't home when we went to bed, but I told her you would check on her. You did, right?"

"Mm," Jay confirmed, threading his fingers through Erin's hair, "Yep. She was sleeping soundly."

Jay snapped his eyes open, a soft thud having woken him up from a deep slumber. He turned his head to see his girl still snuggled up against him, one arm slung over his torso, keeping him close. He smiled tiredly and was about to close his eyes again when he heard the quick pitter-patter of little feet hurriedly approaching their bedroom. "Kate?" he mumbled, squinting at the doorway, "Kate?"

The little girl rushed to her father's bedside and heaved a giant sigh of relief when she saw that both of her parents were in their bed. "Daddy," she breathed, shivering slightly in her bare feet, "You home."

"Of course," Jay reached a hand out to stroke her cheek, "I checked on you, but you were sleeping so peacefully. Did you have a nightmare?"

Kate nodded timidly, "I-I worried you didn't come home."

"I'm here now," Jay reassured her, "Do you want to come snuggle with me and Mommy?"

She nodded again, glancing at the little space that was on Jay's side of the bed, "I-I wanna be next to you and Mommy."

"Of course, Squirt," Jay smiled gently, helping the little girl onto the bed and onto his chest, where she could rest in direct proximity to both of her parents, "That better?"

"Uh-huh," she breathed, placing her head under Jay's chin, "I like being close to you guys."

"We do too," Jay whispered, carefully moving Erin's arm so that it was on top of her little girl as well, "Sweet dreams, kiddo, I love you."

Next chapter is my new favorite one I think...when I get nice comments or suggestions I def upload quicker if you know what I mean so lmk if you like it and maybe there'll be another one in a day or two :)