36. Chapter 36

Sorry for the wait! Work is crazy!

Erin sat on the couch, her leg bouncing nervously as she waited for Jay to come back. He hadn't taken his phone with him and it was still the wee hours of the morning, so she couldn't put in a call to get Jay's license plate tracked. Kate had somehow figured out how to lock her bedroom door and had probably fallen asleep, because no matter how hard Erin begged or knocked, the little girl didn't emerge. She was at a loss of what to do. She texted the super because she knew there was a key somewhere, but had yet to locate it. Even worse, Erin had no idea why Jay had left so abruptly or why he couldn't be reasoned with or why he was so harsh toward their precious little girl.

At six, after three hours of worrying, Erin dialed Will. "Erin?" came the muffled voice at the other end of the line, "Is everything okay?"

"I need your help," she said, her voice dangerously close to breaking, "Can you come over to our place, now?"

"Is everything okay?" Will repeated, sounding more awake now.

"No," she replied, glancing at Kate's closed door and Jay's cell phone and service weapon on the counter. "Jay's gone," she managed, "And Kate's hiding and I need help."

"I'll be right there." Will hung up the phone. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on the front door, bearing two cups coffee. Erin had been pacing the apartment, wracking her brain on how to break into Kate's bedroom. She had contemplated just busting the door down, but she didn't want to frighten the little girl further.

"Thanks." Erin said gratefully, taking the cup he had brought for her. She took a long sip, "What a mess."

"What the heck happened in here?" Will asked gently as he surveyed the apartment. In his haste, Jay had kicked all the neatly-lined up shoes across the entryway. The coats that usually hung on the hooks by the door had all fallen to the floor and Erin looked like hell.

"He had a nightmare," Erin told him, "Woke me up when he accidentally hit me in the chest," She swallowed, "And when I finally woke him up, he freaked out and bolted and wouldn't tell me why."

"Christ," Will murmured, "Are you hurt?" He looked her up and down, but Erin shook her head adamantly. He shifted his gaze and glanced around the apartment again, "Where's Kate?"

"Oh God." Erin rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand. "He yelled at her when she was asked where he was going. Poor thing burst into tears." She squeezed her eyes shut and looked up at the ceiling, willing herself not to cry.

"Where is she?" Will asked again, softly this time, placing a hand on Erin's shoulder, "It's not your fault, Erin."

"Probably asleep in her bedroom." Erin sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning. "She locked the door and I couldn't pick the lock, and she has to take her meds at eight. She's probably in pain anyway from all the anxiety." She blew out another breath, "What am I going to do?"

Will grimaced. "I think you should call Voight. He's been missing for more than four hours." He snuck a peek at his watch, "And from what you told me, I don't know if he was lucid throughout his episode. He may have been sleepwalking or something."

"They're not going to care unless he's on drugs or mentally unstable." Erin opened her eyes and blinked at her boyfriend's brother, "You think he might have been sleepwalking?"

"It's possible, not unheard of, especially with people suffering from PTSD," Will said sympathetically. "I'm going to call the hospital. Worst case scenario, he crashed the car."

Erin let out a squeak, having not considered the possibility that Jay could be in serious trouble, physically injured or even dead. "I-I wouldn't let him take his gun." She glanced down at her cell phone and sighed in relief when she saw the text from the super, informing her that the key was atop the bedroom doorframe.

"Good." Will fished his cellphone from the pocket of his coat that he was still wearing and dialed the ED. "Maggie. Is Jay at Med? I just thought he may have…stopped by to see me," Will lied, unsure of how to convey the fact that his brother was missing and that he was checking the local hospitals for his body. "Okay, thanks," He hung up and turned to Erin. "He isn't there."

"C-can you check the other hospitals too?" Erin asked quietly, tears forming in her eyes again. She looked at Kate's closed bedroom door. "I'm going to wake her up."

Erin stood on her tip toes and ran her hand along the top of the doorframe to locate the key. Carefully, she unlocked the door and entered Kate's bedroom quietly, hoping that the little girl was safely in her bed.

Kate was curled up in the corner of her room, arms wrapped tightly around her stomach and knees drawn to her chest. She was asleep, Tiger, Lion, Mr. Shark and Giraffe all resting beside her. Erin grimaced and knelt down beside her daughter. "Kate, baby," she said softly, "Wake up, sweetheart."

Slowly, the little girl opened her eyes and regarded her mother intently. She didn't say anything, appearing nervous and downright exhausted. "I'm sorry Daddy raised his voice earlier," She reached out and tucked her hair behind her little girl's tiny ear. "He had a really bad nightmare and was really stressed, but he didn't mean to shout."

"He left," Kate choked out, not moving from her fearful position against the wall, "He yelled and then he left."

"I know, baby," Erin stroked her cheek, "But he's going to be coming home soon, okay? And I'm sure he'll explain everything."

"Daddy still gone?" Kate mumbled, eyes filling with tears, "He not back?"

Erin shook her head. "Not yet, I'm afraid. Uncle Will's here though, and he's going to help us find Daddy."

Kate looked up at her mother. "But why did he leave?"

Erin frowned again, unsure of how to answer as she didn't know herself. "I don't know sweetheart. I think he had a really bad dream and he got scared."

"A nightmare?" Kate cocked her head to one side, the tears appearing to abate, "Daddy said he gets them sometimes," She paused, "But he never leaves."

Erin took a deep breath, "You know how you get bad nightmares sometimes?" Kate nodded in response. "Well, Daddy went through a lot of hard stuff back when he was in the military. And he still has to deal with what happened over there every day."

"His heart hurts?" Kate asked knowingly, and Erin nodded.

"I think so, baby. And when he comes back, we can talk about it with him, okay?"

"But where did he go?" Tears welled in Kate's eyes again, "I want him to come back. I know he wasn't mad, he's just hurting."

"You're right, my love. That's what we're trying to figure out, where Daddy went." Erin paused for a moment, realizing she was still squatting on the floor, "Why are you over here?"

"I was looking out the window to see if Daddy was coming back," Kate told her, "But I got tired."

"You didn't get into bed?" Erin smoothed Kate's hair back.

She shook her head. "My tummy was hurting. Cause I was scared Daddy was really mad. And I know he wouldn't hit me but I still didn't like the yelling."

"He's not mad at you, I promise," Erin offered a reassuring smile, "Does your tummy hurt now?"

"We-we have to find Daddy." Kate didn't answer her mother's question. She slowly stood up, arms still crossed across her abdomen.

"Kate, baby, I need you to tell me if it hurts. And I want you to be honest with me, okay?" Erin looked at her sweet little girl tenderly, her own hazel orbs locking on Kate's watery eyes, "Daddy would want you to tell me." Carefully, Erin took one of her little hands, "I'm going to ask you again, does your tummy hurt?"

Kate nodded slowly. "How much? Do you feel sick?" Erin asked. After a moment, the child nodded again and promptly burst into tears. "Okay, we're going to take care of that real soon." Erin carefully picked her up. Kate buried her head in her mother's shoulder, and tightly wrapped her arms around her neck.

"Will?" Erin called as she entered the living room. The redheaded Halstead was speaking on the phone but quickly thanked the person on the other end and hung up.

"How's she doing?"

"Her stomach is irritating her again." Erin reached into the kitchen cupboard and pulled out Kate's medicine.

Will grimaced and approached his niece, "Can you tell me what's going on, Monkey?"

"I want it to stop hurting," Kate mumbled as Erin set her down on the counter, "I want Daddy, and I want my tummy to be better."

"Do you think you could take your medicine?" Erin placed the cocktail of medications on the counter and filled a plastic cup with some water, "They should help with the pain."

Kate complied, taking the pills one by one. "He's not at any of the hospitals in the area," Will whispered to Erin, out of earshot of the little girl. She whipped her head toward Will with wide eyes, "Erin, that's good news. It means he's not hurt."

"He might be hurt and not in a hospital," Erin hissed in response, turning her attention back to her little girl, now infinitely more worried about her partner's whereabouts. "Okay, baby, Uncle Will and I have to have a quick chat. Do you think you could sit on the couch for a little bit while I get you some breakfast?"

"Okay," Kate said tentatively, reluctantly accepting the boost off the counter. She made her way over to the couch and drew her knees to her chest, looking nervously over at her mother and uncle.

"Where would he go?" Erin asked, plucking a banana from the fruit bowl and gesturing for Will to take the cheerios out of the cupboard, "Like when you were a kid and he wanted to clear his head, where would he go?"

Will shrugged, "His bedroom? The tree in our old backyard? I mean, Er, you know him better than I do."

Erin slammed the fridge shut, "That's just it Will, I like to think I know him better than anybody, but I never thought he would just up and leave like that." Tears filled her eyes as she set the carton of milk on the countertop. "I-I don't know what happened. Everything was fine when we went to bed. We talked about having lunch with your dad next weekend and that we should probably get a new lamp for his bedside table because I hate the one we have. And we went to sleep!" Erin brought a hand to her forehead, "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell Kate."

"We're going to find him, Erin." Will assured her, pulling his brother's girlfriend into a hug. Defeated, she pressed her face into his shoulder, the tears disobeying her internal commands and now streaming freely down her cheeks and onto his shirt. "He probably just went for a drive, and is going to be back any minute."

Erin shook her head, "You didn't see him. He was in a state. Wouldn't talk to me, yelled at Kate and me…" She pulled back and swallowed thickly, "I've never seen him like that. I've seen him worked up before, but there was nothing going on behind his eyes."

Will gently squeezed Erin's shoulder in reassurance. She flinched at the touch, Will's eyebrows shooting up in suspicion. "Are you okay?" he asked, tenderly touching her shoulder where he had squeezed.

"I'm fine," Erin shrugged, "Really."

"I hardly touched you, and yet you flinched in pain," Will pulled back the collar of Jay's t shirt that Erin was wearing to reveal a nasty bruise forming on Erin's shoulder. "Erin."

"I said, I'm fine, Will." Erin stepped backwards, "Stop it. Let it go."

"Did Jay do that to you?" Will probed, clearly not about to let it go. "Did my brother do that?"

"He didn't mean to," she whispered, "He was sleeping."

"What if it had been Kate?" He asked, piercing Erin's gaze, "What if Jay had accidentally hit her? You understand that he was sleeping, but do you think she would? He hit you, hard, from the looks of it, Erin. That's probably why he left."

Erin shook her head, "No, I didn't tell him he hit me. He-he was so worked up I didn't say anything."

"Erin." Will murmured, placing a comforting hand on her opposite non-bruised shoulder.

"I'll tell him. When he gets back," Erin decided. "Kate, baby, breakfast."

"I not hungry." Kate mumbled as she wandered back into the kitchen. "I want Daddy to come home." She looked up at Erin's tear-stained cheeks, "I'm worried 'bout him."

"I know you are sweetheart, I am too," Erin squatted down to meet her baby's gaze, "But we're going to find him and I'm sure that everything is okay and it was just a misunderstanding. Does your tummy feel any better after the medicine?"

Kate shook her head, tears filling her eyes, "It still hurts." she complained, "I don't wanna eat. I don't wanna get sick."

"Oh, baby," Erin cooed, tucking loose hair behind her ears. She looked up at the young doctor, "Can you take a look at her stomach?" Erin asked Will. "I think-I think I'm going to go look for him. I need to get changed."

Will nodded and lifted the little girl onto the counter to examine Kate's stomach. "Does it hurt when I touch there?" he asked, pressing lightly near the area where the surgery had taken place two months ago. She nodded and cringed when Will pressed again. "Okay, Monkey, your tummy looks a bit aggravated but we're going to wait a little longer for the medicine to kick in. In a few more hours we're going to check again, sound good?"

Kate whimpered and wrapped her arms around her uncle's neck. "I know you're worried, but your mom's going to find Jay and everything's going to be alright."

"But what if we can't find him?" Kate asked tearfully, "What if he's gone forever?"

"He's not, kiddo, he's going to be back soon," Will tried to sound convincing, but the little girl saw straight through it. She sagged against his chest in defeat.

After a minute, Kate let Will carry her over to the couch. She snuggled up next to him and closed her eyes. "I just miss my daddy." She muttered. "I want him to come home."

"We're going to find him," Erin promised, emerging from her bedroom dressed in a long sleeve t shirt and a pair of dark jeans, "I'm going to look for him, right now."

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. When she glanced down at the caller ID, she cursed. "What is it?" Will asked, alarmed, "Is it Jay?"

"No, it's Sunday. Hank's probably wondering where we are," Erin answered, "Hey. Yeah, um, it was a really rough night. I-I think we're just going to stay home. No, it's fine. We'll see you tomorrow."

"You're not going to tell him about Jay?" Will asked, eyebrows raised.

Erin shook her head, "Not until I need to. Can you stay here with Kate while I go look?"

"Yeah, whatever you need," Will nodded.

"Okay, there's food in the fridge, she takes her meds at 12 and four today. I'll be back as soon as I can." Erin knelt down beside the couch, "Baby, I'm going to go look for Daddy, okay? You're going to stay here with Uncle Will and maybe read some books and play some games. I'll be back as soon as I can, alright?"

"You gonna get Daddy?" Kate asked hopefully, opening her eyes, "You gonna bring him home?"

"I'm going to try, sweetheart," Erin promised, "I just need you to be a good girl for Uncle Will, but I know you will be."

"Okay," Kate whispered, leaning forward to wrap her arms around her mother's neck, "You gonna come back though, right?"

"Absolutely." Erin kissed her forehead, "You and Uncle Will are going to have a fun day together. "I love you so much, Kate."

Will and Kate spent the morning halfheartedly watching an episode of Planet Earth. The little girl had certainly picked up on Will's anxiety, noting how he was constantly checking his phone in hopes of an update from Erin, or better yet, a text message from his little brother. Kate kept glancing at the door as if waiting for her father to return home at any moment.

The front door opened and both Will and Kate turned expectantly, silently hoping that it was Erin and Jay. Kate's face fell when just Erin entered the apartment, tiredly closing the door behind her. "Mommy," Kate hopped off the couch and hurried toward her mother, wrapping her tiny arms around the woman's legs before Erin had a chance to react.

"Hi, baby," Erin murmured, running a hand over her little girl's head. She bent down and lifted her daughter into her arms, holding her closely against her chest. "Did you have a good time with Uncle Will?"

Kate shrugged and buried her face in Erin's neck, "No Daddy?"

Erin grimaced and looked to her boyfriend's brother, who had stood and was now looking at her worriedly. "I couldn't find him in the places I thought he might be. But that doesn't mean he's not around. He could come back at any time."

"I miss him," Kate whimpered, "I want him to come home."

"Me too, baby," Erin kissed the side of Kate's head, "I got a lot of people out looking for him though, okay?" She turned to Will, worry lines etched on her face, "Sweetheart, I need to talk to Uncle Will for a bit. Can you please go play in your room for a little bit?"

"You gonna talk 'bout Daddy?" Kate asked, lifting her head off of Erin's shoulder, "But you don't wanna scare me?"

Erin paused, unsure of how to proceed. The child had clearly picked up on her nervousness and the seriousness of the situation in addition to the fact that Erin hadn't been sharing the whole truth with her. "We just need to talk some stuff out and make a few decisions. It wouldn't be interesting for you, okay?"

Kate nodded and didn't prod for more, but simply hugged her mother tighter and headed for her bedroom. Once she was out of earshot, Will looked at Erin urgently, "So?"

"I looked everywhere," Erin breathed, "I drove all over Chicago, anywhere I could think of. The district, Molly's, the pier, the silos, the boardwalk, the beach…" She sighed. "He's been missing for over twelve hours. But he's a grown man, and they didn't care that he was a police officer."

"They, as in, Voight?" Will raised his eyebrows, "Or they, as in, other cops because you don't want to tell Voight that Jay's missing."

Erin's glance indicated that it was the second option, "I-I just don't want to tell him until we need to. If it turns out to be nothing, I don't want to get Hank all pissed off at Jay."

"This isn't nothing, Er. Jay's missing. It's been hours since you last saw him, and there was clearly something wrong when he left." Will reached out and touched her arm, "How about if I go take a look, and I'll come back in a few hours if I don't find him?"

"You don't have work?" Erin asked, wiping away the tears that formed in her eyes, "You aren't needed down at the ED?"

"You guys need me here," Will smiled sadly, "And we're going to find him, okay? I'll go check out our old neighborhood, check in with some of his old friends. I don't think that's where he'll be, but maybe he'll come back in the meantime. I assume you flagged his license plate?"

"And his credit card. Nothing on the card or plate." Erin reported, "But I got a guy who's going to text me if he hears anything. And I already checked with Ruzek and Atwater, Jay's not with them."

"Dawson? Olinsky?" Will asked, but Erin shook her head. "Alright, I gave Kate her medicine at noon. Her stomach is definitely irritated with how anxious she is and I've been trying to keep her calm, but I think you're better suited for the job."

Erin nodded, "Okay, thanks Will. And thanks for being here. It uh, means a lot."

"Anything for you and Kate," Will smiled kindly, "Do you want me to take a look at that shoulder while I'm here? You might want to get some ice on it."

"I'm okay, really." Erin promised, "You go. We'll be here."

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