Chapter 1

I woke up an hour before I needed to go to school, my parents gone to work already since they work in the town a fifteen minute drive away and started over half an hour ago.

Since I'm an only child I was here by myself, I do have step siblings but both sisters are stupid bitches fighting with their dad right now and my step brother moved out last year.

I sighed, my heart, body and soul desperately not wanting to get up and do this same old crap all over AGAIN. I contemplated playing hooky, but I already skipped a couple classes these past few weeks so I figured I should go today.

I played on my phone for a bit first, then played my music as I got up and dragged my feet through getting ready. Got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth then grabbed my stuff and left.

I never eat breakfast, what a fricken waste of time and effort. Don't really eat lunch either, don't feel like wasting sleep time on making something that won't end up disgusting by lunch hour. And people wonder how I'm so skinny! Just fricken kidding, they probably think I starve myself on purpose to try and get attention. Trust me dumbasses, your attention is the last thing I want, unless it's you actually treating me like a fucking human being for fricken once. Like geez, sorry for fricken existing? Sorry my parents didn't plan to have me?? Like fuck. Don't know what the hell I ever did for everyone to unanimously agree to hate me and treat me like trash, but it fricken sucks.

I plugged my earbuds in to continue listening to music as I walked to school. Yeah, I'm also a loser cause I don't have my license like pretty much everyone else does. Because, hello driving is absolutely terrifying for me to do, but again no one cares or understands that fact.

Just like this one day that was a stupid "dress up as this" day and I was the only one in my first class that day that actually dressed up. Everyone laughed, stared or snickered at me, clearly not understanding the dress up day part. Though it could've all been an elaborate hoax to make me be the only one dressed up... point is; I was literally so embarrassed and anxious about it I went right the fuck back home five minutes later and threw up. My mom had just figured it was a random flu or something along those lines, but she couldn't be more wrong. My anxiety and stress spiked so bad it caused me to literally vomit.

Anyway.. I reached school in a matter of not even fifteen minutes since I despise slow walking. Walking slow prevents me from getting my day and classes the hell over with so I can get out of here faster. Yes I realize school is still the same length of time no matter when I get to class, but try getting stuck behind a group of people that hate you and also walk slow as absolute fuck. By the time you get anywhere you coulda killed yourself fifty times over, then pick them all off one at a time and only get where you were going because of them not being in your way anymore.

I headed to my locker to get the only thing in it out, my binder, then headed straight to class. Everyone probably thinks I'm trying to be a teachers pet from always being to class early, but in reality it's to avoid them for as long as possible before they make me further want to kill myself just from looking at me. Besides, most of the teachers think I'm an absolute fucking idiot so they don't like me me any more than my classmates do.

Tessa wasn't in this class so I just sat off in the corner bored out of my mind alone. Least I have her in my socials class next block... English is so boring, I can barely hear anything the teacher is saying. Soon the bell rang and I was one of the last ones to leave, just so I wouldn't end up IN a giant crowd of assholes pushing me around. Then I passed all of them and got to socials, hate this class but Tessa is in this class so it's at least tolerable. We always trash talk this fuckboy who's also in this class, but he sits across the room from us so he never hears us. His ego is so ginormous he probably wouldn't hear us anyways. Tessa's the only reason I haven't failed this dumb class, bribing me with ice cream and junk food to try and make my brain actually capable of retaining information I will never ever fucking use in my life.

I literally didn't remember a single damn thing the teacher said, even the ones she JUST said. That's how boring this fucking is. So I gave up trying to listen and just started terribly doodling in my binder, quietly chatting with Tessa since she's smart enough to just read our assignment paper and fucking ace it no problem whether she heard anything from the teacher or not. I on the other hand was physically unable to read the paper since my brain always decides that since I can't hear this shit and have no use for it aside from passing this class, it will kick my dyslexia into overdrive. It's kind of annoying, especially since I don't want to annoy Tessa at all from needing her to fucking read it in the most basic terms for me. Sometimes I can read the whole thing just fine, but never retain a single word of information except maybe the word war. I hate this class.

Since we had just finished a project yesterday it was time for a new one, and by we I mean the entire class that was not me. I haven't finished the old one yet. We had three classes and the weekend to work on it, did I waste my spare time on it? Hell fucking no.

"Jaelynn, did you finish last weeks project?" The teacher flatly asked, making it clear they find me as incompetent as my peers do. I felt and heard everyone either stare at me, snicker, or start whispering and laughing with their friends.

Instead of verbally answering since she wouldn't have friggin heard me anyways I just shook my head as I looked at my desk, praying they quit looking at me.

"And why not? You had an entire week to work on it while everyone else only had three days!" Oh yeah, guess I forgot to mention even the teachers hate me and think I'm a fucking idiot. It didn't used to be that way, in elementary school at least they all liked me. Well... except for my kindergarten teacher obviously. 

I refused to look up as I muttered, "I've got this much done so far..." and held up the paper that had a few sentences of what the project was about written on it, followed by a lightly written 'I literally have no fucking use for this dumb information'.

The teacher came and snagged it out of my hand to look it over and scoffed, "you realize you could end up in a multitude of careers that require a vast knowledge of what I'm teaching. This information is not, "dumb". I'm teaching it for your benefit young lady, appreciate it."

All I said while everyone snickered and laughed was, "Okay..." She took my paper with her, leaving me unable to do more of it for a better mark. When the bell finally rang I already had my stuff packed and speed walked with Tessa to her locker.

"I can't believe she actually fucking said that to you, clearly if you are legitimately unable to learn anything from that class you aren't going to be getting a career in something to do with any of it." Tessa stated, pissed off for me as she switched her binders. I pretended to be pissed too, in reality I wanted to cry and go crawl in a hole in the ground.

"I know right, so not fucking fair. What about mister fuck boy over there who's failing literally every single class, and yet all the teachers love him. What's fricken up with that?" I scoffed, staring over at Lucca. Sure he's nice to look at but jesus christ did he have an ego. He's probably the most arrogant person I know.

Tessa rolled her eyes and closed her locker replying in angry disgust, "I don't fuckin know, the teachers like me too but at least I actually attend every class and do all my fricken work. Unlike him, he skips half his classes to screw some desperate girl in the bathroom. What girlfriend is he onto now?"

"Pf, fuck if I know. Mia, number..... hundred and eighty-two???" I answered, rolling my eyes at the lack of exaggeration. I hope for the worlds sake it's not like this at other schools, I think it's like that here because there's nothing better to fricken do in this dumbass boring town.

"He's got a new one for every week, he's had to have been with every girl in this school by now except for us." I added as we headed to our next classes, Tessa nodding in agreement.

"We hanging out at lunch?" I asked before we had to go our separate ways.

"Oh, sorry.. I had plans with Mark, you can totally join though if you want to." She answered, hurriedly trying to include me.

I have zero interest in being third wheel, again, so I gave her a small smile and replied, "Nah that's okay, you guys have fun. See you later."

"Okay, see you later." She then went down a different hall than me, going to her Spanish class while I went to the art room. I had drawing, also quite pointlessly I have to say. My stuff looks like shit compared to almost everyone else in this class. I have an embarrassing memory about being in this classroom too, was ceramics class technically but we were all gathered around the demo desk to watch the teacher show us a technique of some kind. She was forever bringing her little dog with her because why not. I had sneezed, she looked at her dog confused until Tessa said bless you to me, then the teacher told us she thought it was her dog that had sneezed. I was the only one that found it funny, only because I expected everyone to laugh at it. Think anyone did though? Yeah no they fucking didn't, one of the only times I can try and pretend to laugh with them instead of just being laughed at and no, they ruined that too.

Anyhow, I spent lunch walking laps around the school since if I went home I'd have to leave pretty well as soon as I got there, let alone actually eat anything. Made a trip to the bathroom to stand in the stall to try and not cry, cried a little bit anyways, then left and took my time getting to class so I'd be there only a few minutes early. School eventually ended thank fuck and I walked home, looking forward to the hour I'll have to myself to blare my music to forget my pain before my parents come home.