Voices (Lucifer x suicidal reader)

Y/N's POV

I'm always followed. Not by any person, but by shadows that are always nearby. Clinging to my brain like tumors. They're invisible, but heard.

Voices that constantly whisper in my ear, and make fun of me whenever I mess up or do something wrong. They criticize me for good things as well. They never cease with their hurtful words.

They followed me from the human world into Devildom, and even more shadows seemed to join in to belittle me. They won't get out of my head.

"Y/N?" Lucifer's voice brought me back to reality, and I turned around to look at him. He had a serious look in his eyes. Well, more serious than usual.

"Do you need something?" I say in a somewhat quiet voice, trying to compose myself internally.

"Well, I know it's my night to make dinner, but I have a lot of work I need to get done. If you could, can you make dinner?" He asked. I gave him a little smile.

"Of course. I can bring it to your room if you get too busy." Lucifer smiled as he nodded.

"That would be appreciated. I will see you tonight then. If you'll excuse me, I need to begin my work." Lucifer walked passed me in the hallway, and headed towards his room.

I trembled a little. I decided to distract myself by starting dinner a little early. When I got to the kitchen, I noticed that Beel was looking around in the fridge.

"Oh. *munch munch* hi Y/N." Beel said as he stuffed some food in his mouth. I gave him a weak smile.

"Hi Beel. Do you mind leaving while I make dinner?" Beel nodded as he took some food from the fridge and left.

I grabbed all the ingredients to make some curry. I spread them across the counter, and looked around for a knife to cut them up.

I found one, and held it my hand. I saw my reflection in it, and I felt a weird feeling inside of me.

"Ahh-!" I dropped the knife as that thought ran through my mind. Luckily it didn't hit my feet as it fell.

A couple years ago, thoughts like that started to worm their way into my head. They seemed to be louder than any other voice that I'd heard before.

At some point they stopped. But I could feel them still whispering in the back of my mind, too far for me to hear it.

"Y/N?! Are you alright?" Mammon ran into the room, and looked at the knife on the floor.

"Y-Yeah...I thought I saw a spider." I lied immediately. Mammon laughed and patted me on the head in a joking way.

"C'mon! A little spider ain't gonna hurt ya!" Mammon chuckled as he left the room.

I slowly bent down and picked up the knife, and I tried my best not to look at my reflection as I finished cutting up the ingredients.

By the time I finished, everyone was already sitting at the dinner table, minus Lucifer.

Once I had placed the bowls down, I took Lucifer's bowl and left the dining room.

I headed to his room, but I felt almost sick smelling the curry. It wasn't bad or anything, but the smell of food in general was making me feel queasy.

Lucifer's door was slightly ajar when I got to it, so I lightly pushed it open with my body. Lucifer took one glance at me, but then returned to his work.

"I brought you your dinner..." I said as I set down the bowl on his desk, he gave me a simple nod.

I quickly turned on my heel, and left the room. My body started to tremble again, and I couldn't stop it.

3rd POV

After Lucifer finished his dinner, he got up from his desk to return the bowl to the kitchen. However, on his way out, he noticed something shiny on the floor.

It was a knife. He raised an eyebrow. How did a knife get into his room? No one besides Y/N had entered his room.

Then it hit him. He had noticed that Y/N had been acting odd earlier. She didn't say that much to him, and there was a hint of fear in her eyes.

Lucifer felt uneasy once he realized how different she had been acting, and quickly set down the bowl. He swiftly left his room and headed to Y/N's room.

Y/N's POV

I closed my door, and sank to the floor. I gripped my H/C hair as I tried to silence the voices inside my head.

Tears ran down my face as a hurricane of horrible thoughts started to swirl around in my head, destroying any and all other thoughts.

I let my hands sink as I reached for the kitchen knife I had snuck into my pocket earlier, but it wasn't there.

I helplessly looked up at the window, and slowly stood up. My body started moving on its own. I barely even noticed that I had already opened the window.

I stood on the frame of the window, and looked at the abyss below me. It was a black hole, waiting to engulf me.

My body leaned forward, and I closed my eyes. Something suddenly grabbed my wrist, and pulled me back into my room.

I was then embraced by something. It was warm and comforting. I slowly looked up, and saw Lucifer's relieved face.

"L-Lucifer...?" I blinked a few times before it hit me. I...just tried to kill myself.

I clung to Lucifer's cloak tightly as I started to sob loudly. He held me even tighter, and lightly rubbed my back.

"It's alright. You're going to be alright." He started saying comforting words, which only made me cry even more.

"I-I'm s-sorry.....t-the v-voices....t-told....m-me..." I tried to explain what had happened, but I couldn't think straight.

"You don't need to explain yourself now. What matters is that you're alright, and you're alive." He continued to comfort me.

For the first time in a long time, the voices were gone. It was as if they hadn't existed at all.