Cold bucket of Reality

NICOLE'S P.O.V

 Reliving my life isn't something I'm fond of, more like constant nightmares and seeing the people and things I so desperately want to forget but still can't, I mean HOW DO I DO THAT.

That was my thought as I sat up on my makeshift bed, but it was still my bed to me. In reality, it was just an overly worn-out twin bed. You might be wondering why is she sleeping on that. wasn't she rich and all?

      Well, let's not forget the place I call my room is the attic of the pack house, yeah pretty small but will do, and the answer to your earlier question on why I sleep on a makeshift bed or worn out twin dirty bed and why I live in the pack house attic is because I have become an omega, not just any omega but the lowest of all omegas.

Yeah, I don't know if it's a thing but this pack made sure it's a thing so now I find myself here and we'll that all happened when I started recovering there years ago after their deaths and after my 15th birthday.

FLASHBACK After her family's death:

      I opened my eyes and shut them right back with full force because of the bright blinding light, Gently opened my eyes again, slowly adjusting to my environment.

I hear a beeping sound I failed to notice the first time, I looked to my right side and saw a heart monitor then realized I had an oxygen mask on, that's when I started to panic and tried taking the darn thing off but no the IV in my hand just had to stop me, but also the bandage and the fact that it just registered to me that I'm in a hospital.

     But I can't find my family anywhere, and that's when it all came rushing back to me I'm an orphan now, they all left me, and they died right in front of me, why couldn't they just take me with them, why did I have to be the only survivor, why was the only one saved huh? Why did Nicolas have to push me away? Just why?

Those were the questions running through my head but luckily for me before I went deep into thinking and cursing myself for being saved Lucia my best friend walked in and behind her stood my uncle who is my father's only brother, and his wife/mate and my beloved cousins James, chole, and Sean, seeing them I felt so relieved and slightly happy that (my only family left ) I still had a family that loved me but something within me was not sitting well but I just shoved it off.

     Looking up at them I gave them a small smile moving my head slightly to the side motioning for them to have a sit. After sitting my uncle's wife/mate spoke "Nicole dear you'll be discharged today ok and you'll be moving into the packhouse with us and everyone else ok". Luckily for me, the doctor and a nurse came in before I could answer because I didn't know what or how to answer her even though it was just a statement and not a question.

Walking up to me the doctor smiled gently at me and started examining me while the nurse started writing on a clipboard I didn't even notice she had with her, after the doctor who I got to know his name was doctor smith Michael the pack doctor.

     He asked the nurse to take off the oxygen mask from my face as I stared at my emotionless uncle, Chole, and James who were looking like they were both forced here while Sean my younger cousin was busy by playing the game on his iPad, and my dearest aunty who was looking at anything but me.

Staring at doctor smith who's busy explaining my oh-so-very convenient situation and how to take care of me as I am still healing from fresh wounds.

       I was brought some clothes to change into and my sweet dearest best friend helped me not so gently, after that we walked to meet my family ( Uncle Bardon, Aunt Caroline, Chole, James, and Sean) in the waiting area.

We left the hospital for the pack house on our way there the car was almost dead silent I mean if not for the sounds of Sean's game noise but if not for the low-humming sound you would have thought it was a graveyard.

       Getting to the packhouse, everyone left the car leaving me to fend for myself, getting down from the car I can already feel the harsh glares from the other pack members.

Facing down, I walked into the packhouse ignoring everyone that crossed my part because of the harsh glare that was filled with hatred, I looked for the room with my name tag on it as it'd been a while since I came here.

I walked through different hallways (yes you heard me I said hallways because I just went through 2flight of stairs) passing by the alphas office, the beta's office my father's office in the packhouse), alphas family bedrooms, my late Brothers old rooms here, going straight to my room in the pack house.

I went inside, seeing Chole was already in there going through my stuff in the room picking and putting my things into boxes while I just stood there frozen and confused as ever, wondering what she was doing here as she was supposed to be in her room or anywhere else as she's a warriors daughter.

She's supposed to be downstairs stairs right? which is where her room is, on the 2nd floor. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't notice Chole standing right in front of me until she spoke.

"HUH, sorry I wasn't paying attention" I said looking at her, while she just stared at me with utmost disgust.

she spoke again" I said you see these things they're all mine now whatever I like in here I'm taking it all, it's all mine now you disgusting murderer get lost this isn't your room anymore ok, I can't stand your filthy sorry ass self" I just stood there still rooted to my spot I know I and chole don't get along well including me and her brother James, but how could she do this to me we were still family right?

"Are you just going to stand there? moving it will you, you live in the attic now loser" she yelled while dragging me towards the opened door then stopped and turned to look at me then spoke

"You see dear cousin you're all alone now you don't know what's coming for you now, you poor little thing tsk tsk" A lone tear fell from my eyes as I watched her before turning to walk away.

I got to the attic upstairs it was on the very last floor and only had a dark hallway, I open the rusty door, It made that cracking noise, the attic was likely a store room it was small and dusty, I walked in and saw an old beat-up sofa I sat on it and looked around me and started crying wondering how my life changed so fast.

I don't know how long I cried but I could tell it was late as everywhere was now dead silent by the time I woke up from the nap I didn't know I took.

I was already panting so hard from my very first nightmare session, it just felt so real, I saw them I saw it all happen again and I couldn't do anything, they were calling my name telling me to run to save yourself.

Fresh batch of tears flowed down my cheeks, I cried more and more unable to control myself, I missed them so very much I wish they were here, I'd never felt so alone before.

Guessing from the low rustling sound coming from outside it was already morning 'wow how long did I cry for?

I stood up and left the room and went downstairs for breakfast but instead, I was dragged to the training ground outside the packhouse where I notice a lot of people have gathered and the person holding me harshly was my cousin James, who now threw me on the floor like I'm dirt.

I notice the alpha and luna on a podium when they seemed to have noticed me the alpha motioned for James to put me on stage and then he spoke" Good morning my dear pack members as you can see over here stands our late beta's daughter who took my best friend and he's family away from us, we have concluded to give the beta position to his brother our head warrior Bardon McAdams and beta female to Bardon's wife caroline McAdams and Nicole has been stripped down to an omega position. now please welcome our new beta to the stage"

As he spoke I felt myself starting to tear up again, he motioned for James to take me off the stage so I couldn't even hear a thing my uncle was saying as the new beta

Fast forward to the bullying part :

I was going up to my new room after taking care of the kitchen 'yeah am surprised they didn't let me mourn or rest till I'm all healed up' anyway I felt someone pull me back with my hair while I whimpered coming face to face with Chole and her friend's kylie and Bianca and surprisingly Lucia my own best friend.

" Well would you look at that, it's the murderer, I can't believe they still let you live you should be dead like every single person who murderers people," Chole said with a scoff.

" She doesn't even deserve to be an omega, what a psychopath, I mean c'mon who kills their own family " kylie said looked at me with disgust.

"Yeah, just die will ya"

"Yeah you don't deserve to live"

"Just get Lost"

"What gave you the right as to just breathe the same Air as us"

"I feel now that she's here I'm getting suffocated"

"Stop polluting our air alright"

"You don't deserve to be alive"

"Jinx, She jinxed her family into dying"

"Nothing but a murderer"

"A living death note"

"Where ever she goes, death follows"

"Let's leave here before we become the next 

Their words kept repeating themselves in my ears, and my mind, it felt like they wanted their presence to be known. Suddenly I felt my face tingle, ouch it hurts so much, I guess I just got slapped and this is just the beginning of my beating, soon I felt someone kick my knee making me go down and then someone matched my thigh to the ground. Soon enough my whole body was aching as my hair fell and covered my bruised and teary face.

Damien, I saw him watch everything with a smirk on his face, he looked at me in disgust, eyes full of hatred then he left, just like that. 

'I guess that's the new look then' I thought while new tears were forming in my eyes, I begged them not to fall, they all laughed pushing me then walked away. I feel like my eyes are now river-damp.

Limping to my room with tears falling from my eyes and pack members snickering at me. I remember crying myself to sleep that night fully knowing this was just the start of my bullying, how could people be so cruel?

~

Being dragged to the cellar by my emotionless uncle who's now the beta, people watched as I struggled to get free from his holding as no one wanted to have to disturb him or have anything to do with me as this wasn't the first time he's doing this.

Getting to the cellar he threw me on the ground, and picked up a whip from the table I didn't notice was there and started to hit me with it.

He yelled as he hit me with it "you're just a low life now, a murderer, you took my only family left, you deserve to die, you're worthless, a whore. when I ask you to do something you do it, and you do it correctly ok, now what are you?"

I was crying from the pain of the whip so I couldn't answer even if I tried to. He asked again this time holding my jaw roughly with his hand "I asked you a question and answer with words ok do I make myself clear" he asked with a cold voice and emotionless expression.

 "yes sir "I whimpered.

" What are you? you little brat answer me" he yelled while going to take a knife from the table.

"I said answer me you moron," He said as he turned to punch me in the face before going to his earlier destination.

"I am a murder, I killed my family, I took your brother away from you, I deserve to die, I'm worthless, I'm a whore, I'm nothing," I said, even though I didn't want to, but that has already been imprinted in my mind now, he slit my upper arm with the knife while I screamed in pain, bleeding then blacked out the cause of the pain. It seems like the darkness really loves me.

***

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