Chapter Two: Inner Struggles

The teen parked the car in front of a big white house with pink shutters and many flowers in the yard. He stretched and let out a deep sigh. "I didn't know how fortunate I was at home, with three meals daily and attending church on Sunday. I never want to be in that situation again, and I can almost smell the honey cake and baked beans." Micheal said with joy as I looked at the massive home and found facing the young woman behind its walls challenging. The adolescent moaned in delight with a smile. He looked at me as I looked at him. "Come on; I'll take you to the guest room. You can get a shower and some fresh clothes, then I need to do my homework. I have to study for finals coming up next week." With the same smile of being out of the nightmare that was Silent Hill, he opened his door, stepping out. "Aren't you going to come in?" His smile faded as disappointment covered his once cheerful demeanor. "Is something bothering you? Do you need to talk about it?"

"Micheal, I can't do this. You know what happened back there as well as I do. How can you forget I placed your life in danger? Is this how you plan on getting even by showering me with a kindness that I know I don't deserve? You and Natalia don't know the lies I hid behind to make others happy, to make myself seem righteous with skeletons in my closet. I burned my brother, whom I had deemed a sinner, for the same act I had committed, but unlike Leonard, I wasn't married, I was young, I was rebellious to my mother's teachings, and no one forced my thoughts or actions, I was in control, I enjoyed the power I had. I chose power over my family, considering Natalia a Harlot and you an abomination. You can forgive these acts, but I can't. I am the reason you and Annette suffered in Silent Hill. How Micheal? How can you forget everything to this point? Yes, I want to make amends to all those I have hurt. I am the pollution that made up Silent Hill." I looked at the boy, attempting to hide tears that threatened to fall from stinging eyes. My heart felt as though it were about to explode. Looking into green eyes, I found myself weak, hurt, and scared for the first time. My green eyes, and the sympathy from the youth, were something I didn't deserve. This second shot at life was far more than a monster as I earned, and it angered me. It boiled my blood to the core that this child could sympathize with me. I bit my lip, looking away from the young man, clenching tight fists until they turned a pasty white, barely holding back the tears that would deem me weak to those no longer here.

"So, you're going to run away again, just like you did back then? Instead of facing whatever this is, you get lost, give up, and run away. You give up and contemplate taking your life over something that you deem you can't be forgiven for. Although those you have harmed have no animosity against you, you deem yourself unworthy of a second chance. I told you I forgave you. Other than throwing the red carpet and kneeling down to you, I don't know any other way to convince you that you're talking nonsense, and I'm sure that even on the red carpet, you'd still doubt my loyalty. I've been the loyal one. I have been the one who stayed loyal."

I looked at the angry young man on the other side of me with a sigh. "You consider me as a coward, Micheal. You consider me a deadbeat father, and I understand the reasons behind those feelings, but you will respect me."

"You want respect? I'm not a cult member from which you can demand this and that. I'm eighteen. Those who respect me earn my respect in return. You have made my week a living nightmare, then you, of all people, demand respect? I have minimal respect for Leonard, but even he knew respect wasn't just given. He invited Annette and me to his home, protecting us from you; you know what? I'm done. Go back to that prison. I have enough to worry about already. I can't take much more of this. Go on." The teen sighed, a sigh that hid unshed tears as I looked at him, opening my mouth to speak. "I thought having a father would take away this frustration and madness. I thought of you for years as this mighty warrior, a man that everything Leonard was, I placed in you; who and what was I trying to kid? Leonard is right; dreams and fantasies are toxic, bound to end up in tragedy; I never cared that you thought I was sin incarnate or that my mother was a harlot; we've heard it all, and the thought that ticks me off the most. We give you this clean slate, and you want to throw it away. Yeah, life's hard, but ending a life because of speculations of things is not there, you need help. I love you, but I can't deal with this. I couldn't help myself. How do you expect me to help you when I needed help in this struggle?"

The boy sighed, closed his door, placing hands in his pocket, and with a downed head, he walked towards the house. "My heart ached for the youth. His gleeful demeanor was a mask. This boy, like myself, was fighting his inner battles. I opened the door, rushing to him. "Look at me, Micheal."

The teen sighed, turning to face me. "I'm so sorry; I thought of my own desires and my own downfalls that I ignored the fact that you were struggling; you may not respect me, but I understand that I have to gain that, as I'm willing to do that, but you made quite the impression on me, your bravery, your devotion to those you drew close to, I had great respect for you, thus is why I agreed to come home with you for the week, but seeing as how the two of us are both fighters of this, I'm not going anywhere, you need me now, you wanted a father you're going to get one, I'm going to give you and your mother everything I have. You both deserve a family. And I'm going to give you both that," Micheal looked at me, brow raised. "Can I hug you, son?"

Micheal nodded as I wrapped my arms around him, and he returned the embrace.