14. Fire Of Unknown Origin

Yeah, I keep warning you about not updating every day and here I am :DWell, if I write, I might as well post too.One playlist song:

Blue Oyster Cult – Fire of Unknown Orgin

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"Since when does your boyfriend drive our mom's car around?"

With Steve, I don't even have the time to get some caffeine in my system; he doesn't give me a chance to have a proper wake-up before he starts acting like an ass. I ignore him; at least he had the decency to pour me a cup of coffee that had already cooled down, meaning I can drink it at once. That's the only good thing about this shitty morning. Well, that and the fact that we're alone, so I get to play some Blue Öyster Cult before eight, without anyone yelling at me to lower the volume.

How can he be such an ass and pay attention to the littlest things at the same time? I all but forgive him when I see that he has annoyed expression, obviously waiting for my explanation.

"I told you yesterday, I left the car at his place," I shrug my shoulders. "You know, Steven, it's about time you grow up. I am with him. He is going to be around. Whether you like it or not."

"No problem, Christina," I roll my eyes at his use of my full name; no one's called me Christina since I was six. Not even our parents when I get in trouble. "I'm just going to sit back and watch as he ruins you."

"Oh my god Steve, are you even listening to yourself?" I yell; I can't even control myself anymore. "Ruin me how? How is he ruining me when I'm… fucking happy with him? How is that bad for me? And before you say anything about me skipping school because of him, I didn't do it because of him! I did it because of his brother. I did it because of a kid I care for, a kid that has a family and they are desperately trying to find them. You don't have to care for Jonathan, or for Will. But care for me, care for your sister. This is obviously bothering me and you acting like you don't give a shit is not helping!"

"I'm not acting. I actually don't give a shit."

"Wow," that's all I can say. Well, I can come up with a few words but insulting the shit out of my brother isn't the first thing I want to do in the morning. "Let me just tell you this. If Nancy's brother was missing and you were freaking out like I am, not that that could ever happen, I would be there for you. I would be there for her, despite not being sure if I even like her or not. And that's the difference between the two of us. I'm actually a decent human being and you're… a poor excuse for one."

"Nancy isn't a freak."

"Okay, let's do it differently this time," I sigh, pausing to take a sip of coffee before I continue talking. "I'm not going to get all emotional and defend Jonathan. I just want you to tell me why you think he's a freak. What did he do that made you think he's a freak? What is so freakish about him?" I ask and I watch with joy as Steve obviously struggles to find an answer to such a simple question. He was ready for me to defend Jonathan; he wasn't ready for me to ask a rational question.

"He… he doesn't talk to anyone."

"Bullshit," I laugh. "He talks to me. He does more than talking."

"Tina," Steve warns me, which only makes me laugh harder. "Tina, he is not good for you."

"Well, I happen to think he's just fine for me. Now what?"

"You know what, maybe you are right," he changes his mind suddenly. "Maybe the two of you are perfect for each other. A freak for a freak, right?"

"If you think I'm going to get insulted by you calling me a freak, you're really going to have to work harder, Steve," I laugh. If there is anything that I have learned over the years it's that nothing annoys someone more than when you laugh in their face. I know it would sure as hell annoy me but I don't have a moral issue with using that trick, at least not on my brother. "If not liking your friends and not wanting to hang out with them makes me a freak… if being with a quiet, brooding guy makes me a freak, be my guest Steve, call me a freak. At least I have one person that wants to be around me because of what I actually am and not because of what I'm pretending to be. Can you say that too?"

"Whatever makes you sleep easier at night, Tina."

That's what Steve does when he doesn't have anything to support his opinions with. I'm one lucky chick to have enough self-esteem to take hits like these. I'm far from overly confident. In fact, I don't know if I'd even use the term confident to describe myself but… I know who I am. If insults are lies, it's easy to just ignore them and move on with your life.

"Steve, can we leave this argument for later? I have a pretty good feeling that Jonathan and I will be together in a couple of days too and right now, there's a missing kid that we need to find. I would appreciate it very much if you would find someone else to annoy, at least until Will is found."

Finally, fucking finally, Steve doesn't have a comment. I take it as my opportunity, I finish the coffee and I'm out of the house, making a mental note to thank mom for letting me take her car because if I had to go to school with Steve today, I would have stabbed myself with a fork.

"Hey," I smile at Jonathan when he leans on the locker next to mine. "Any news?"

"No, not yet," he tells me. Fucking hell, it's been two days. What are we doing here? Why are we at school, we should be lifting every stone in Hawkins in the search of Will. "Hopper said they will search by the quarry today. No one's giving up but the more time passes the more worried I am."

"Of course you are, Jonathan," I frown; I mean, it makes sense. Time passes and panic rises. It would be super weird if he was getting more relaxed. "It's going to be okay. If they don't find him today then… we will look again tomorrow. And again and again and again. Okay?" I ask and squeeze his hand. He forces a smile but I can tell that he's not quite there. "How is Joyce doing?" I ask him.

"She is not doing well at all," he tells me, looking suspiciously around him. "I can't talk about it here. Lunch? My car?" he asks. Wow, it must be pretty bad if he doesn't feel like the dark room is private enough. I don't question him on it; he's not the paranoid kind. If he's paranoid, there's a reason.

"Okay," I agree. "What about last night, did you find something in the woods?"

"No, nothing related to Will but I think I did see more than I should have." He gives me a pointed look.

Oh. I was definitely not expecting him to comment on that little moment. Color me surprised.

"Yeah, I guess I didn't really think about what I was doing," I admit. I did it in the spur of the moment. "But I do have to say that I don't… regret it. Sorry if I traumatized you." I add, smirking.

"No! No, you… didn't," oh bless him, he's blushing. Then again, I'm probably as red as a fire truck myself so who am I to blame him? "It's just… we should talk first and…"

"Let's find your brother first," I interrupt him. He might be a teenager but I doubt that his hormones are crazy enough to forget that until we find him, Will should be his first and only priority. "Will is all that matters. After that… we will see."

"Yeah."

We're screwed. We are going to find Will, life will go back to normal and we'll be in big trouble.

When he said we had to talk about Joyce in total privacy, I knew that things are bad. I couldn't even imagine just how bad they are. I think I was silent for a minute or two before I found the ability to speak again. All of this… it is just so wrong. It should not be happening.

"She thinks that Will is talking to her through the lights?" I ask. I can't believe I'm asking such a question.

"Yes," Jonathan sighs and does something I did not see him do before; he leans over to reach the glove box and takes out my spare pack of cigarettes, which I have kept in his car pretty much since day one. I watch in surprise as he lights one; once I see his hands shaking, I'm not that surprised. "She's losing it. This is not the time for her to act like that."

"Jonathan, her son is missing. Can you blame her?"

"I'm not blaming her at all," he shakes his head, pausing to focus on the cigarette. "I'm not blaming her. I get it. I am… I am not doing okay either but she is really losing it, Tina. She's going crazy."

"She's not going crazy," I try to reassure him but I'm not so sure I'm doing a good job. Talking to a light bulb isn't exactly the definition of sanity but I can't say that to him. Besides, Joyce isn't too far gone just yet. "She's trying to deal with Will being missing. I get that it's not the most rational choice to choose but I don't expect a mother with a missing kid to be rational. She's going to be a bit crazy until we find him but when we find him, Joyce will go back to normal. Everything will go back to normal."

"And what if we don't find Will?"

"Jonathan, don't say that."

"I have to say it!" he snaps and I see his hands are starting to shake again. "It's been two days. Two days and all we have is his bike. Nothing, we have nothing! And there's nothing I can do about it and it's going to drive me crazy! Soon enough, I'll be thinking that the light bulb is talking to me!"

"Jonathan," I reach out for him but he moves away from my hand. "Jonathan!" I shout and this time, he looks at me. "You can't afford to think like that. I'm not going to let you think like that. Yeah, realistically, it's an option that we won't find him. I know that, you know that, even Joyce with her lights knows that. It's a possibility. But we can't… we can't afford to think like that. Will only has the two of you. Yeah, he has his friends and yes, he has me too but deep down, it's only the two of you. And if the two of you give up hope, if you give up hope and start to think that you will never see him again… You can't do that. You can't do that to Will. You are his big brother. He needs his big brother and his big brother will find him."

I can't keep on saying crap like that. I might believe in it wholeheartedly but if we do not find Will, he will remember that I have reassured him that we will, multiple times. I doubt he would attack me for it, but it would sure as hell leave a bitter taste in my mouth. On the other hand, how can we not be a little unrealistic? What kind of people would we be if we just gave up on that boy? On that poor boy that could be freezing to death or wondering around the woods, wondering why no one found him.

"Leave Joyce to the lights. If that's what keeps her hopes up that Will can be found, let her do it. I'm not leaving you two alone again. After school, we'll go and search for him ourselves, okay? And tomorrow, we will do it again. We can't afford to waste time anymore and that's what we're doing here."

"Okay," he nods his head. I think I managed to calm him down, at least a little bit. "You have one class more than I do, so I'll wait for you here, okay?" he asks and I nod my head. I kiss him and when I pull away, I ruffle his hair, just to make him feel a bit better. He does manage to crack a smile.

"I have to run, I have an English test," I tell him and I give him another quick kiss before jumping out of his car. I make my way towards the school, not wanting to be late. I didn't study at all. I've obviously had other shit on my mind, but hey, it's the thought that counts. I'll show up and do my best and hopefully, I won't fail. And if I do, I'll fix it. For someone who hates studying, I'm pretty darn good at it.

"Tina!" I freeze in place when I see Nancy running towards me. My first thought is that something had happened to Steve, but that disappears when I notice Nancy forcing a smile. "Do you have a moment?"

"Yeah, sure," I mumble in confusion. "What… can I help you with?"

"I know you were sleeping last night," she tells me as she follows me down the hallway. I'm happy to talk but walking and talking is multitasking everyone is capable of. Jonathan is already waiting for me. "But is there any chance that you… saw Barb leave or something like that?" she asks.

"Actually, I was in and out," I tell her. "She was in the backyard when I… had to open my window. I didn't see her leave, though. I just went back to bed after that," I shrug. I suppose I could ask Jonathan about it but I'm pretty sure he left immediately after I stepped away from the window. I might not know Nancy well but anyone can recognize a worried look. "She probably just bolted."

"Yeah, it's not that," Nancy frowns. "She didn't show up for school today."

"Maybe she's just skipping school?" I suggest. I'm pretty sure every student in this high school did it once or twice. "Did she drink last night with you guys? Maybe she has a hangover?"

"Come on Tina, you know Barb," Nancy sighs. "She doesn't drink and she doesn't skip school."

In fact, I do not know Barb. I think I spoke to her a couple of times but it was always related to school. I had a few classes with her but we were far from friends. I mean, she seems like a cool person but we never really got to talk about anything properly. I wouldn't know the things Nancy just said. The only thing I know about the girl is that she's Nancy's friend and that she's pretty smart; that's it.

"I don't know," I shrug, not wanting to brush Nancy off like I did yesterday. I was annoyed with my brother and she did not deserve it. She doesn't deserve now. She is clearly worried about her friend. The least I can do is be nice about it. "I didn't see her leave. Don't worry too much, if she's not skipping she might be sick or something." I tell her.

"She's not," Nancy shakes her head. "I called her parents. They thought she will sleep over at my place and she didn't. She didn't come home last night." She tells me. I stop in my tracks at once.

"Nancy, you need to tell someone," I tell her. "Call the police, tell her parents. Will's missing, if Barb is missing too…"

I can't even finish the sentence. This is bad. And it's getting worse by the minute.

"You're right, something bad could have happened," she tells me. "I'll tell her parents. They'll call the police or something. If she doesn't show up soon."

"It's not my place to give you advice but you shouldn't wait too long, Nancy," I tell her. Normally I would keep my mouth shut, but it just so happens that in the last two days, I have been dealing with a case of a missing person. A very dear person at that. "Will has been gone for two days now. Trust me, don't wait for too long," I tell her as we walk outside. The worry on her face is evident and I only feel more guilt for the way I've talked to her the day before. "Look, what I said about Steve… he can be a jackass when he wants to. But he can also be a good dude. I guess he's good when he's with you. I guess that what I'm trying to say… don't listen to a bitchy sister. He's a better guy than I present him to be."

"I know that Steve can have his moments," she smiles at me. "But he has been nothing but good to me. And I understand the sibling relationship. I hate Mike in the morning and adore him by noon."

"Yeah, that fits the description," I laugh. "He can be the best big brother when he wants to."

"He cares about you, you know?" she asks. Oh brother, I hope he didn't have a heart to heart with her about me and the troubles of being a good brother. "Especially now that you're…" I look at her in confusion when she suddenly stops, mid-sentence. She raises her eyebrows, looking away. "Uh, Tina?"

I look in the way she's looking and it doesn't take me long to find out the reason for her sudden pause. Carol, Nicole, Tommy and Steve are all standing around Jonathan. Like a pack of fucking hyenas.

"Ah, fuck!" I rush their way, with Nancy on my heels. Is this going to be one of those idiotic scenes from movies where two girlfriends have to jump in-between to stop a fight? It could very well be, if Jonathan was the fighting type. Which he's not. Nah, they're cornering him, it's obvious from their positions.

"What the hell is going on here?" I ask as we finally reach them.

"And here comes the staring lady!" Carol laughs. "Were you giving your boyfriend material to play with afterwards? He sure was saving this one for later!" she laughs as she slams a piece of paper to my chest. The only thing stopping me from slamming it back into her is that I don't know what it is. My blood runs cold as I look at it and realize that it's one of the photos from last night.

"This freak is stalking all of us," Steve speaks up, looking directly at me. "He's taking pictures of you while you're changing! Are you still going to defend him?!" he yells at me. I look over to Jonathan, who is staring at the ground. I don't think I've ever seen him more uncomfortable.

"Steve, stop it!"

"I'm not going to stop it!" he yells. "He's a sicko! He's a creep! Look at this Tina!" he waves a photo.

"Yeah?" I ask, grabbing the photo from him and looking at it. I have my back turned in that one. I grab a photo from Tommy's hands; I'm in my bra and looking directly at the camera; bingo. "Look at this, Steve. Look!" I all but push the photo into his face, pointing at myself. "Does this look like someone who doesn't know she's having her picture taken?!"

"Ah shit, where's the full frontal then?" Tommy laughs. And this is Steve in a nutshell. Instead of defending me, the only thing he does is glare at his friend. Yeah, I'm done with Steve at this point.

"He wasn't stalking you, you bunch of self-centered dicks!" I yell; I've done the impossible. I've actually managed to leave Carol speechless. "He was looking for his brother! I told him to stick close to the house, his brother's bike was found nearby! And he took the photos because he wants to be a fucking photographer! What do you think he'd do with them? Post them? Have a fucking exhibition?! You're a bunch of self-centered dicks, all of you. And you're the worst of all." I add, looking directly at my brother. "I knew he was taking those photos, Steve. Live with that."

"How about he lives without his little toy, huh?" Steve asks.

"No, please not the camera-"

"Don't you dare do that," It says a lot about me that Tommy stood before me and not Jonathan to stop us from getting to Steve. "Don't you dare do that Steve. Don't even think about it."

"Really?" He chuckles. "Well, your boyfriend can relax. Here," Steve offers him the camera. Jonathan reaches out for it but I just wait for it. I know my brother. I know who he is and what he can do. And I am not surprised when a very expensive camera, probably the most important and expensive thing that Jonathan owns, hits the ground.

"You son of a bitch!"

I was never a particularly aggressive girl. Sure, I have a mouth on me and I don't exactly pick words with much care, but physical aggression? That was never my style. And now I know why. I was never angry enough to attack someone. That camera matters to Jonathan. He is one talented photographer and that is his tool. It's also super costly and he works shifts whenever he can because he needs every single dollar he can get. And my brother, my dick brother, who never needed anything in his life, who never worked a day in his life… not only did he embarrass him in front of these dickheads, but he broke the camera. He broke it, very theatrically, because he is nothing more than a piece of shit.

I don't know who grabbed me and pulled me away from Steve but I do know is that they did not grab me on time; I slapped him with all the force I have in me and as I am finally set free, I watch the aftermath; they all look at me in shock and Steve has a hand on his cheek, his mouth open in shock.

It's not about Jonathan being my boyfriend. It has nothing to do with it. It's about Steve, Steve being a proper bully, Steve being mean just because… I don't even know why. I wasn't defending Jonathan. He's not a kid, he can do that for himself. I wasn't defending him, I was just attacking my brother.

"You better not speak to me again." I manage to utter, despite the anger that's boiling in me.

I have a list of threats I could name and use but I don't want to get down on Steve's level. I've already caused a scene with the slap, I'm not going to talk too. I will save that for a different time, but the bastard better sleep with one eye open because I will make him pay for this. And I literally have a whole list of things that could help me do that. He picked the wrong person to make an enemy out of. As his sister, I know way too much. And he knows it. Oh, he knows it. I can see it on his face.

"Come on, let's go," he shakes it off, like he always does. "The game's about to start."

I watch as they walk away but I keep my mouth shut, not wanting them to hear anything. As soon as they turn around and leave, Jonathan jumps to check his camera, to see if it can be salvaged. I stare at Steve's back as he's walking away but I can see from the corner of my eye that Jonathan dropped the camera. Steve broke it beyond repair. He looks directly at me when he turns around. "Nance, come on!"

I didn't even notice Nancy staying behind. Our eyes meet as she gets up from the ground.

"I take it all back."

I don't need to go into details, she knows exactly what I mean. I can see it on her face, as she looks at me and Jonathan before she turns around and walks away. At least she knows what kind of dick her boyfriend is. It's better than she found out now; it took me 16 years, give or take a couple of weeks.

"I am so sorry," I fall down to the ground as soon as Steve isn't around to see us. I grab the camera, despite knowing that it's… yeah, it's broken beyond repair. I look at Jonathan, who is just staring at the broken thing. "Jonathan, I am so sorry. It's my fault. I never should have-"

"No," he suddenly looks up at me and reaches out to caress my face. "It's not your fault, Tina."

"It is," I sigh, feeling as if I'm on the verge of tears. "If I… you went back there because I told you and then I let you take those photos and it's all my idea, my fault and-"

"Tina," he interrupts me, turning my head so that I look at him. "It's not your fault your brother is a dick. You… neither one of us could have predicted this. I'll just… I'll save to buy a new camera."

"No you're not," I deadpan. That's out of the question. "My brother will buy you a new camera. I'll make sure of that, even if it's the last thing I do. And until he buys it, you'll use my camera." I reach out for my bag; I always take the darn thing with me, but now it should go into more deserving hands; Jonathan is a far better photographer than I could ever be. Not to mention that the guilt about this will eat me alive.

"I can't," he shakes his head at once. "I can't do that, I-"

"You can and you will," I insist as I take the camera and put it into his hands. "I have a spare one, it's only two years old. You won't be leaving me without a camera. Just… please. That's the least I can do. Just take it. Please."

He must really like me, if 'please' works so easily on him.

We were supposed to spend the entire afternoon looking for Will. And that's kind of how it started. We got into his car, we got to the woods but I broke down in tears before we even got a chance to get out of the car. Jonathan hugged me and tried to calm me down. And it's been like this for… an hour or something like that? I stopped crying but I needed a moment. We needed a moment. We didn't even talk; we just sat like this in silence, hugging each other.

Too many things happened all at once. Steve being a douchebag, Jonathan losing his camera, Joyce going slightly insane, Will is still missing… it's too much. It would be too much even for someone stronger than me. I should have known that this break down was just around the corner. At least I was with Jonathan when it had happened. And I think he needed a little break too.

"I can't believe you hit Steve."

"Really? Cause I can," I mumble in response. "This was just the last straw. Everything he ever said to me, even if I did shrug it off, it was piling up. I was collecting it and I didn't even realize it. And what he did today… I just snapped. I get that it was the wrong thing to do but it wasn't. I'm not making any sense, I know."

"No, you are," Jonathan shakes his head and looks down at me. "I just don't want you to get into fights with him because of me."

"It's not because of you," I reassure him. "If anything, he's just using you as an excuse. I've been following his lead for as long as I can remember. I would justify anything he'd say. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not a kid and I don't need my big brother, not if he's going to be a jerk. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to think about it either. I can't."

"You do know that at some point you're going to have to talk about it?" he asks, giving me a pointed look. "Not with me but with him. He might be an idiot but he's your brother."

"I know," I roll my eyes. "But I don't have to do it now and I do not plan to. If I go to him when I'm still angry, I don't know what's gonna happen and god knows what he could say to me. I don't want to see him, talk to him or go home. I'm staying with you and Joyce again. If that's okay, that is." I add. For all I know, having me there might just be the last thing they need at this point.

"Of course it's okay," he smiles at me. "Do you want to go home? Get some clothes or something?"

"I have clothes, I'm wearing them. I want to find Will. So let's do what we planned to do in the first place." I suggest; Jonathan stares at me, probably trying to assess if I am calm or stable enough. I guess that I am, because he nods his head. Find Will. Everything else… it just doesn't matter.