Insecure

It was morning in the Capital, and a new day had begun. People move through the streets, going to work or buying things. In a hotel not too fancy or too shabby, there were four men having breakfast at a table. The food was good, but there was an awkward feeling hanging above them. In an attempt to break this terrible mood, Castess started talking.

"So, you guys are going to tell me what happened last night?" None of them responded. "Seriously, I was getting worried since none of you showed up, so I decided to wait outside and the first thing I saw was you guys bloody and beaten. I had to take all of you to the doctor, but you guys didn't tell me anything about what happened."

"It's nothing for you to worry about." Eric spoke as he was stuffing his mouth with a piece of bread and some meat. "Just trust us. It's not something we couldn't handle; we're tough guys."

"TOUGH GUYS, I HAD TO SPEND 200 GOLD PIECES TO MAKE SURE THE DOCTOR DIDN'T REPORT TO THE SOLDIERS" Castess's pockets were almost empty after just one day. "You guys need to consider how much money we actually have. We can't spend all of it on healing your battle wounds. Sometimes I feel I'm the only one who considers the cost of things in this group."

"Yeah, sorry for the trouble... I'm going to get a bit of fresh air before we head out" Thanatos got up and walked out into a small garden outside.

"Ok, I won't ask about you guys, but you need to at least tell me what happened to him. Something is affecting him very badly." Even Castess could sense the discomfort in Thanatos.

"The thing is..."

"We aren´t sure either since we weren't with him at the time."

"What did you guys split up for?... Never mind that I don't want to know." Castess's resignation was evident.

"Something must have happened at the Sleeping Bird, but we don't know what exactly."

"Ahh, you guys are lost without me. Fine, I have to ask Miss Lia to help me make him open up."

"The thing is, I have a feeling that Lia is the source of this," Eric responded, following his intuition.

"Seriously? Then we have a bigger problem than I tought."

Thanatos was standing in the garden, taking the morning sun on his skin. It was peaceful on the outside, but the inside of his mind was a tumultuous swirl of memories and emotions. The words from Sebir, his feelings for Lia, and the danger he would put her in if she continued to be around him. All of this caused him confusion and pain. Dammit, this wasn't supposed to happen. I thought my life was going to be different here, but I'm feeling the same confusion and anxiety from my previous life. Stupid, Adel and Eric almost died because I went to see Lia instead of helping them. Get your head together.

While trying to clear his thoughts, a sweet voice brought him back to reality.

"Thanatos, are you okay?" Lia stood in front of him with a worried expression. She arrived much earlier than he anticipated.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Look at my face. There is not a single scratch." The doctor had healed him without a problem.

Lia wasn't talking about the bruises on his face the night before; she was talking about the pained expression he was wearing all alone. Thanatos looked like a lost child.

She wanted to help him, but she didn't know how, and worst of all, she feared that her useless attempts to comfort him were going to drive him angry or sad, causing him to leave her. So, she stood there, frozen by her own fears.

Suddenly, the silence was interrupted by the worst person who could have done it.

"Miss Lia, sorry for the wait. I just finished renting a new carriage. Oh, it seems you have found your acquaintance." It was Silver who appeared.

"Psst. What are you doing here?" Thanatos was upset. The image this guy brought to his mind was of him touching Lia's face with his hands.

It was ridiculous. Why was he so upset about that gesture? The answer was obvious, but Thanatos's heart refused to admit it: jealousy.

"Oh, sorry for intruding. We couldn't talk last night. I'm Silver Alexander Kendall, a Knight of the Kingdom of Axes. In terms of military rank, you can consider me equivalent to a Sergeant of the Republic." Silver bowed with grace as he presented himself.

"Yeah, I understand that, but why are you here? Do you have some connection with Lia?"

"Oh, it's not like that. We just talked last night. This is the first time Silver had visited the Capital, so I offered him help, and he asked me if I could show him the way to the Holy See. He is supposed to deliver a letter to them"

It was a reasonable explanation, but Thanatos was still bitter and jealous. He focused only on the part about how she met him yesterday. This guy got that close to Lia in just one day. Who do you think you are? Just some pompous knight from another country. Don't push your luck; she's just being nice to you as a matter of courtesy.

"Well Silver I won't take more time from you. You can go to deliver your letter and leave Lia and me alone."

"Actually, Miss Lia told me on the way here that she was expecting to get you to agree to come with us to the Holy See. She told me, this is your first time in the Capital as well."

"EHH, THE THREE OF US?" He couldn't help but be surprised by that affirmation.

"I'm sorry. I thought it was a good idea." Lia's eyes were forming small tears inside them. The true reason that she asked Silver to accompany her with Thanatos was that she was nervous. She didn't feel confident enough to hang around with Thanatos all alone anymore.

The night ended in sadness, and even Silver's attempts to cheer her up were ineffective. The doubts and insecurities were twisting and growing inside Lia's chest. She wanted some peace, a point of support, and Silver was the closest person at that moment. She wanted to cry now, seeing her fears starting to become reality.

Sensing the sadness in Lia's eyes, Thanatos spoke.

"Don't apologize, you haven't done anything wrong. It's just... I need to do some business, so I can't accompany you today. I'm sorry." He invented a lie to get out of the situation without telling his true feelings: I can't stand seeing you with him.

"Oh... okay... If you are occupied with business, I understand." She could sense that Thanatos wasn't being honest, but she was too scared to ask the real reason. You are bothering him, stupid girl. It's obvious. How can you not see it? He hates you. Stop trying to make him waste his time with a useless good-for-nothing like you. Lia could hear her own voice inside her head telling her the truth, but in reality, that was nothing more than her paranoia and insecurity speaking.

"Then I'll see you in the afternoon when we go back to Raind, right?" The way she said it, it sounded almost like a plea.

"Of course, I will see you later." Without even touching hands, they separated once again.

Silver could see that both of them had something they wanted to say, but a Knight must restrain his words when speaking to others, especially since he was acting as a representative of the Supreme General on this mission.

"Come on, we have to go see the last places for today" Thanatos said as he got inside the hotel, urging his men to get up"

"Ehh, weren't we going to do that in the afternoon? I wanted to see some of those businesses where they sell fancy weapons." Eric objected.

"Shut up, you don't even use weapons to fight." Adel quickly shut him up.

They went to find their new base of operations in the Capital.

They explored some buildings that were for sale, mostly in the poorer districts. Since they managed to make a few contacts yesterday, they could safely move to the next phase of the plan, which is to get a secure base of operations. They wanted something a bit far from the public eye to hide from soldiers and other syndicate attacks.

They spent the day examining the places, but Thanatos was still distracted. The swirl of emotions was still causing him pain. After they took a moment for lunch in a small tavern, Eric decided to try something, so he asked Thanatos directly.

"Boss, are you in love with Lia?"

"PPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFHHHTTTTT." Thanatos was almost drowning in the glass of beer he was drinking when he spit it all out. "WHAT. NO. NO I DON´T LOVE HER."

"Then why are you so sad abo-" Adel punched him in the back of the head.

"Please, Master, forgive him. This idiot doesn't understand that it is not our place to meddle in your business." Adel apologized quickly.

"Yeah, that is the correct ans- WAIT A MOMENT YOU THINK THAT I LOVE HER TOO, DON´T YOU?"

"Well, if I'm being completely honest, you seem to have some romantic feelings for Miss Lia Master"

"You two... Forget it. I don't want to have this conversation. Just finish your meals and let's keep looking for a place"

Thanatos didn't need to hear something like this. His feelings for Lia were those of only a friend. Then why didn't he act like a friend when with Lia and Silver? If he saw her as a friend, then he shouldn't have any problem seeing them together. In his previous life, Thanatos had little experience with romance. He had a few crushes, but they all ended in rejection. He didn't want to think of Lia as a partner to spare himself the pain of rejection. Ironically, he hadn't fallen for someone this hard before. She always made time for him, sewed clothes for him, laughed at his poor jokes. Losing that connection because he misread her feelings and ruining that relationship, was too scary.

They reached a big warehouse, very hidden. After entering and speaking with the owner, they realized something.

"I´m sorry guys, but you better drop all the gold and objects of valor on you. We got you surrounded." The man snapped his finger and about 30 people appeared from the shadows.

"We're a powerful syndicate. I advise you, don't try to fight us."

"What is the name of your syndicate?" Thanatos asked.

"The Black Spiders. We are a fearsome syndicate. We have-"

"Shu up, I just asked for your name. Adel anything?"

"No nothing. They aren't important at all."

"Small fry?" The guy was annoyed.

"29… 30… Yeah, 30 people without counting this one. Should we split it into 10 each?" Eric asked his boss while cracking his knuckles.

"Yes, but if you guys have any trouble, ask for help. Let's try to not let a single one run away."

"Yes, boss."

"Understood"

A swift kick and the head of the first man, pretending to be the owner, was sent flying across the room.