Chapter 11: More Demonstrations More Problems

General

Konan entertained herself somewhat granting Sasori the task of using his technique to carry away the wooden pieces and carefully stack them in another room. There was no need for them until someone was available to turn them into targets, and something about the look on his face the first time was… Well. He looked totally unlike himself as he used two hands to carry them all away at once. That should have been disturbing. Seeing Sasori happy should have been quite a bad sign as far as her subconscious was concerned. As she wondered about why it was not, Konan realized that she had never seen Sasori happy before under any circumstance, threatening or otherwise. What had changed?

Naturally, everyone else had near-instantly turned their eyes to look at her, creating a feeling like she had lasers aimed at her and ready to burn. Quickly, she assessed the proper environment for their skills. She was aware of some of the elemental jutsus that Kakuzu and Kisame used, best performed outside. Deidara did not have any clay with him and would need to get some before he could do anything. She did not know the hand signs for the fire style jutsu Itachi could use; he had been a genjutsu specialist for his entire time in the Akatsuki. That could be done indoors. She knew all of Yahiko's jutsu inside and out, and was sure Nagato would be willing to tell him how to use them. Nagato himself would need instruction in the many, many other things he could do. She decided to leave him for last.

"Itachi," Konan began. It would be simple to show him what he could do, now, as they stood inside. "Have you activated the Sharingan yet?"

Itachi nodded and did so, the three tomoes spinning into place. "Yes. I have also unlocked them further, into the other design."

Konan wondered how he could have known to do that. "The Mangeyko Sharingan. Good. It is the Mangeyko that your original used to cast his strongest techniques. Activate it now."

Itachi did so, the feeling of chakra burning behind his eyes returning. Had she confirmed his eyes themselves could use jutsu?

Konan wondered just how much she should explain of the how and why his jutsu worked. She could still feel the eager stares of the onlookers glancing between her and Itachi. It seemed that for her own safety, she'd better hold off on that until later. "Do you have a sense of your chakra?"

"Yes. It feels as if I can project it out of my eyes."

Konan paused. This would be the hard part. There was nothing a trained ninja was as bad at explaining as how to use chakra. It was as impossible to teach as how to walk. "Good. Now...do that. Project it at me. I will not raise any defence."

Itachi narrowed his eyes, pushing around the chakra near his eyes as he figured out how to control it. But there was nothing he could do. If his original had been able to do this, he could only hope muscle memory would take care of it. He closed his eyes and gathered chakra in the area. Then he opened them suddenly as if his eyelids were propelled by a spring.

He purposefully suppressed the urge to flail around as his chakra twisted and organized itself strangely. Luckily for him it took no more effort than suppressing the urge to flail around during a short fall. Before he had time to see it, the environment around Konan and himself faded to darkness. The plain whiteish halls were now bathed in shadows, no, were the shadows. Konan's dark outfit now appeared to be mostly white. Even though they were still inside, red moonlight shone from somewhere above. Konan nodded.

"Do not dispel this technique just yet, Itachi," she ordered. "You can control the flow of time inside this technique, Tsukiyomi, so it will appear as if only a moment has passed no matter how long we experience it. If you have any questions about how this works or what it is, we have all the time in the world."

Itachi realized this had the potential to be the most useful jutsu of them all if properly used. And yes, he did have many questions. They sat and discussed at length the nature of genjutsu, the nature of the Sharingan, the Mangeyko Sharingan, and for a short time he even convinced her to elaborate on his family as it was necessary during the course of telling him about the other things that she mention his clan in passing. He was quite sure that his ability to shorten the amount of time that passed in this genjutsu reached its limit as she told him of the massacre. My parents...my cousins, Uncle and Auntie...at least Sasuke survived. How could I have done that to him? Murder. My original was a cold-blooded murderer. Konan's ability to speak was distorted by the time freeze. She watched with detached curiosity as Itachi realized who he had been.

Out of the corner of her eye, Konan saw the ground begin to flow past. She looked in all directions, even standing up to look behind Itachi. The open-ceilinged room they were in was changing, flowing together until it seemed to be part of a different building. It didn't take a genius to figure out what this new building might be. She might have been curious about what this version of Itachi's past had looked like, but not that curious. Before taking action, though, she did pause to see how the scene change would proceed. Was he really as much of a ninja as he had seemed to be before?

The transparent room slowed in its flowing together and paused, muddled and confused. At her feet Itachi took a deep shuddering breath, shook his head. He ground his nails into his palms, focusing his energy on thinking about anything else and keeping his chakra still. Konan realized she had forgotten to mention something important about the nature of chakra too late to stop what was about to happen. Before she could move her illusory body the red moon dimmed and collapsed, and the ground fell into darkness. For some time she was paralyzed, or felt like it in the absence of any indication she was moving.

Then the darkness abruptly lifted, and once more she and Itachi stood facing each other. Itachi sensed he was no longer sitting and opened his eyes. He seemed surprised to be back in the real world. He looked at Konan for answers. With as neutral a voice as she could manage, Konan told him, "Well done. A shinobi who specializes in genjutsu must have good mental control. Without it a genjutsu can quickly spin out of control and fail. However, you must remember that chakra is like blood. It is always meant to be flowing. Keeping chakra from flowing is actually a common way to break out of a genjutsu. What you meant to do was keep your chakra flowing steadily in the same way. Remember that."

Itachi nodded, an acknowledgement she returned only very quickly before turning to the rest of them. "Deidara, you will need clay before you can do anything. Everyone else, jutsus are better practiced outside. Come."

For Kakuzu's demonstration, she led them to the very small area of open grass behind the building. It was about large enough for all of them to gather sitting without being excessively close to one another. But for the earth-style jutsu she was pretty sure Kakuzu could use as his native element, even a small area would be enough. She had him use a very basic earth jutsu she had learned of. All it did was cause earth to bubble up from the ground like water and turn to stone, but this astounded the easily-impressed clones. They wanted to know if the techniques had names. She mentioned that they did, but she did not know the name of this particular technique. Kakuzu decided to call it Stonemaker Jutsu. He seemed to be looking at the results of his labor with focused eyes. Konan wondered what use he was thinking of for it.

It was just as well that Kisame used water style jutsu. She may not have known the exact hand signs his original had used, but she knew enough of how water-style worked to make something up. The amount of chakra he put into it was much more than he needed. His secret enthusiasm was betrayed by this, but Konan did not expect anyone else to notice as they followed the enormous wave that resulted with mouths agape. A relatively large tree, still puny by her standards, was nearly pulled out of the ground. The little stream Hidan had led them to was dry for a good thirty seconds until its source accumulated enough water to flow again, and the large tree was left at a tilt that could easily see it fall if a major storm struck anytime soon. Kisame stood staring at the soaked earth as the peanut gallery clapped quietly.

Deidara did not have the material to use his techniques with. That left Yahiko as the only other one who had not yet demonstrated his abilities. Nagato walked up to Konan before everyone else was quite finished looking at the results of the wave and asked her about Yahiko's jutsu. He surmised correctly that she would not be comfortable giving instructions directly. She listened carefully, but nothing in his voice carried any hint of judgment for this. Konan supposed she should be glad he wasn't pressuring her to talk about that part of her past just yet. He listened carefully as she told him and covertly demonstrated the hand signs Yahiko would need to use, nodding. Itachi had a good idea what they were up to, as did Sasori. Kisame heard the sound of whispering and noticed, too. He understood when Nagato returned to Yahiko's side and repeated the demonstration to him. After the stream was back to half its former flow, Yahiko flushed and wondered what the technique he had been taught would do. He hoped it wouldn't have similar effects to Kisame's. That tree didn't deserve to be ripped out of the ground like that, and it might fall on an animal some day. He paid careful attention to the feeling of his chakra changing as he formed the signs. He exhaled and allowed the onlookers to boost his confidence as he made the last sign.

The water exploded upwards and formed into a stream in mid air. He had aimed at a sturdier looking tree and tried to keep the amount of chakra used to a minimum, so the stream had only the effect of a slightly larger than usual hose as it fired itself at the trunk. Yahiko smiled when he saw the harmlessness of his technique, and how controlled and contained it was. The force of a solid stream with more water behind it would be enough to knock a large man down, easily. He turned to Nagato to celebrate. As their palms met in a high-five he wondered at the gentleness of it. Everyone else had been horrified to hear their originals described, but from the look of it Yahiko's original had been much more like he was now. He was saddened by the memory of how Konan had described that. It probably wasn't her fault. If brutality was what her world demanded of ninjas, he had to admit he did not and probably could not ever meet that standard. But this world was different, wasn't it? Nagato was certainly proud enough. Konan stood off to the side, perhaps watching from the corner of her eye but revealing nothing.

Nagato continued to stand in front of him, eyes shining with a fond look that Yahiko didn't recognize. His arms visibly trembled before folding across his chest. Yahiko smiled at him and shook his head. There were a few things about his friend that he still didn't understand and doubted he ever would. The first was that they had known each other since childhood, and yet, Nagato was still shy about overt demonstrations of friendliness. Yahiko didn't want to force anything if Nagato had some reason to be uncomfortable, but this time he felt it would be more awkward to take time to entice him into it. So with a large smile, he rushed forward, crossed the space between them, and wrapped Nagato in a strong but gentle hug. He felt the brief stiffening before Nagato relaxed into it. Why? At the edge of his vision Konan turned her head away. *sigh* It's as if no matter what I do, she can't stand it. And...Nagato...is there some reason he's uncomfortable?

Konan walked away and sat on the back stoop, carefully avoiding the bird excrement all around the handles and railings. She watched silently with no movement in her face as the group changed in configuration. There was Hidan, smirking at Nagato after he was released from the hug, then turning to Kakuzu a moment later and challenging him to see which was harder: the scythe or the stone. Kisame looked at Yahiko and nodded politely; Yahiko suggested they practice their jutsus together. Deidara looked around at the ground, wondering what clay looked like. He went over to ask Hidan. Sasori seemed to be looking at something in the air, occasionally moving his hands in front of him as if to move a piece around. Everybody else stayed clear by a few feet so as not to interrupt. Even Itachi dodged around the engineer as he walked towards Konan.

Everyone else he nudged with his elbows or feet as he passed, until everyone was paying attention. They looked after Itachi as he walked up and stopped before her. The look in his eyes was calm but ready. It looked a little like Sasori had looked earlier. She decided the best move would be to stay seated. Itachi tilted his head a little from side to side, just enough to make sure he had everyone's attention before speaking.

"We need rules. Not hard ones, not specific directions, but there are ways in which we can and cannot be treated. These need to be made clear," Itachi announced. "To begin with, what is it you expect of us?"

Cannot be treated, or refuse to? Is he bringing a problem to my attention, or challenging my authority? Konan tried to figure out what he was aiming for, and what combination of firmness and softness she should bring. She wasn't unfamiliar with the concept of subordinates talking back. They were criminals; almost everyone in the Akatsuki had spoken out of turn at several points. But these versions of them seemed much more normal. Then why was he confronting her like this? Perhaps they are still themselves enough that I need to prove myself to have any kind of authority. Well, then…

"I expect the lot of you to get along without any significant infighting. I expect you to be prepared whenever I should ask for assistance, and keep your eyes and ears open for any problems I don't know about. Hidan, I expect you to keep us reliably informed, which means you should spend as much time as you need searching your memory for anything you haven't already told us that could be important. I don't care how hard that is, do it. I expect you all to be useful, practice your skills, and strengthen your teamwork if you need to. I expect you all to be capable of meeting any threat." Should be just mild enough for them to agree to.

Itachi nodded. "Those are things we can do. However, I do not expect that is the full list, nor is it very specific as to how you want us to do and be those things. I will tell you what we cannot and will not do. If any of those things you listed can't be accomplished in the way you thought of them being accomplished, revise your methodology.

"The list of things we cannot be includes everything you implied in the earlier description of our originals' abilities. Even now, you talk of threats and enemies. We do not think of the world in terms of enemies and threats. We may not expect a stranger to always offer assistance, we may be wary, but that doesn't change the fact that our mindset regarding other people leans much more to the 'friendly stranger' side. We will not allow someone who is legitimately a danger to attack, but neither will we be nearly as cautious as you seem to expect. Even the most paranoid person here will not behave in a hostile way or expect others to without reason. If we don't act the way you want, that's why.

"The list of things we flat-out refuse to be includes certain things you alluded to when describing our abilities. All but the most disturbed would agree that murder, excessive destruction of property, desecration of dead bodies, torture, and a host of other things are morally wrong. I do not mean any offense. I am sure your morals are perfectly acceptable by the standards you are used to. But this world has a much different standard of acceptable, a standard different enough that the killing of a strong person which you praise is to us a terrible thing that no sane person should even wish to speak of. We are not weak. If it should be necessary… But we have much stronger taboos against causing harm than you do, and it will not be at all easy or natural or something we get over quickly. We will not use some of the abhorrent jutsus you described, we will not agree with you or think the way you do, and we will feel morally justified in refusing to do actions which fall under those categories. Do not ask us to cross moral boundaries lightly.

"I predict a lot of misunderstandings, frustration, and conflict could easily arise from misunderstanding where our moral boundaries are. That was made obvious earlier. In return for your demands, what we demand of you is that you try to understand us. It may not be easy, but our preference in this part of this world is a leader we can like or at least respect on a personal level. Expecting us to be like our originals is a waste of time and we will treat it as such."

Itachi then inclined his head as he had noticed she did, correctly thinking that it was a sign of respect. His voice was a mixture of multiple things, none of them matching with his words. Konan tried to combine the two in her head and found she could not. For the first time she was reduced to looking at him incredulously. On the one hand, he said this was his way of solving a potential problem. On the other hand, his words can best be summarized as "We reserve the exclusive right to do whatever we want and not listen to you, fuck off." Back to the first hand, all his body language and tone of voice is highly respectful. Back to the other hand, he and everyone else will judge my behavior and morals and tell me how I fail to live up to their standards to my face. Is this their version of respect? And they expect me to understand, perhaps even practice it? Such polite rudeness would be a good reason to weaken ties with an ally at least, if not sever them. Part of the duties of any shinobi ranked above Genin is to negotiate with enemies, at least sometimes. They do not make good shinobi.

Hidan moved to stand to the side, looking between her and Itachi. "Dude, I can feel the respect dropping like a fucking rock. And I'm also a little mad. I have no fucking clue what it was that you said or how you said it, but that was rude as shit."

Itachi blinked at him. "My intent was only to describe and explain the consequences of certain expectations in as close to a factual, objective way as I can. I did not intend to be rude."

Hidan shrugged. He could feel things, but he couldn't read minds to tell the reason why. Konan wanted to take this opportunity to be rude in response anyway. "You ask to reserve the right to refuse orders and do whatever you want, apparently feel that permitting enemies to act unchecked is more important than stopping them, at the same time excuse this by claiming you are unable to stop those who would like to do harm, issue demands to me as if you've completely forgotten who is where, and reserve the right to judge me, my actions, and my very thoughts as if they are somehow appropriate things for you to be concerned with. You ask me to understand the utter lack of respect or appropriate treatment that the standards of this world permit? Then stop speaking such hypocritical statements as 'we prefer a leader we can respect'. Respect means that a subordinate will do as he is told. Clearly you have none."

Itachi actually found himself at a loss for words, his mouth hanging open. He had made the mistake of thinking that just because her standards were lower in one area, they would be lower in general. That was a bad mistake to make; humans are always more paradoxical than that. "W-well… Actually, it is considered respectful to point out someone's flaws. This is a way to indicate that you believe they are strong and capable of growing and becoming better people, a way to help them do so. If one of us were to leave someone alone, allow them to continue making mistakes, it would be a sign that we believed they were unable to change and were not strong enough to overcome their flaws and fix their mistakes. The only reason to refuse to tell someone what they are doing wrong is that it would be a wasted effort. I don't think you are so weak that you cannot change your expectations or actions to be more effective."

That...did make a kind of logical sense, actually. Konan stared at him, now aware that Itachi was really as confused as she was. "And why is it your business to try to correct the way I do my job?"

Hidan piped up. "Did you not hear the part about friendly strangers? Helping someone who obviously needs it is everyone's business as long as they're in the same group. If it's like family shit they need help with, anyone who's part of the family can try to help. If it's shit where someone is physically injured or something like that where pretty much everyone in this culture, so like a whole country or so, can agree physically hurting people is bad, than anyone in the country could help, even if you don't know them, and probably a stranger from another country too as long as they have the same morals. Your job is shit having to do with the Akatsuki, so since we're all considered part of that group we're all able to help you with that. Just because you're in a different part of the group doesn't change shit. As long as the problem is something affecting us, we get to try and change it."

Konan now stared at him. A different part of the group? As if she was just over to the side? No barrier? Was that really how… She stood up, looked around with all the self-awareness of a coma patient. Everyone her gaze crossed seemed to understand perfectly and nodded. Yahiko brightened and tried to look her in the eye but she instinctively deflected down to the ground. Now that he was done speaking from what he himself believed, Hidan scratched his head confused. Now that he thought about it, aside from that night they had spent talking just the two of them together and their first meeting where it'd also been just the two of them for a wonderful moment, he always felt kind of a space between them. Considering his own personal attitudes called for even less space than people of this world normally had, his mind was seriously reaching to feel like that.

"Wugh…" he groaned. "Mmmn...y'know, my job is to walk up to people and know them like a therapist or a friend or some shit even if they didn't hire me and I've never seen them for a second before. Fucking headache city. You look like a fuckin' awesome lady, so...well I guess I kinda want to do the same thing, only for real and a long time and shit. So probably you should get used to no space. Fuckin' nasty burrowing termites, I have better things to be thinking about. Let's just get this the fuck over with!"

Nagato filed that away as Wait, he does that for a living? Kakuzu was forced to reevaluate his longtime associate. He'd known of Hidan's activities, but had always written them off as a compulsion before. Clever little bastard. He makes better use of his talents than I thought. Yahiko smiled in a way that, unnoticed to him, always caused Nagato to get that strange fond look in his eyes. I trust him. He is trusted. It's perfect. I couldn't have left my job to anyone better.

Konan nodded and reached out to pat Hidan on the head. "Of course you don't do anything the appropriate way, I do not believe your original was even entirely human. You're not like everyone else. It's okay for you to act strange. But…" Her eyes flicked to the side again. "Hm. If it was meant kindly… I suppose I should put in some effort, shouldn't I?"

Hidan fought to open his eyes fully even as she continued petting him. "Yeah, please...oh yes please, more by the ear...uh, oh yeah, please do. I have looking at all my memories to get to, sounds like a super headache. Oh yes there there there." His mumbling degenerated into deep purring. If not for that, Konan realized that his mumbles of pleasure might have sounded distinctly sexual to anyone who didn't know Hidan. That is not...no. She took her hand away and grabbed his arm to lead him inside. Hidan reluctantly stumbled after her, looking disappointed. Most of the assembled group was faintly amused. Nagato realized the true reason why she dragged him away and agreed wholeheartedly. Yahiko wondered why petting a person-shaped cat would be something anyone would need to hide and was still confused. He chalked it up to cultural differences.

Itachi's face was hidden by his palm. "I should have seen this coming."

Kisame snorted and asked, "How? You couldn't have known a lady who talks about murder like it's a game would get so bent out of shape over rudeness, even if you had predicted she'd think it was rude."

Itachi shook his head, hand still in place over his eyes. "No…that's not it. I was only looking at this from one viewpoint, ours. I should have thought that she must have some reason for her actions."

Yahiko was still elated. "Well, she agreed, right? That's all we wanted. I'd really like to get to practicing and other things, hopefully that'll help us understand her better. Maybe now that she understands it's a kind thing to do, she'll tell me what I'm doing wrong."

"Perhaps not. I don't know exactly what's going on, but I don't think we can do very much…"

Yahiko sighed. "Nagato...do you really think so badly about her?"

"No, but I do think that maybe… I just don't think you are doing anything wrong."

"But… why would she hate me if I haven't done anything?"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "She liked Hidan when we first met her in the bar, and he hadn't done anything either. It's probably something your original did."

Yahiko looked wounded. "But...my abilities...they aren't…"

Nagato put a firm hand on his shoulder. "It doesn't matter. Just keep being you, and she'll learn to tell the difference eventually. Everything's going to be okay."

"Wow, you guys are really bad at coming up with solutions to social things like this," Sasori said with an audible smirk.

Itachi's hand fell away from his face. "Enlighten us."

Sasori flinched, just a little. "Or, I guess, things like this are hard for everyone. No need to get so fluffed up about it. Jeez."

Deidara jabbed Sasori in the ribs. "Come on, Sasori, hm. I need to go ask a man about some clay, and there's got to be some kind of space you could build things in around here, yeah. This place has everything!"

"Maybe if she likes Hidan, petting him could make her feel better," Yahiko decided. "Could you guys hold off for a few minutes?"

Kakuzu sighed and sat on a fallen log at the edge of the trees. "Fine with me. It's about time we took a few minutes to have some peace and quiet around here."

Kisame nodded, already committed to enjoying his peace.

Hidan

Hidan lay sprawled on his belly across Konan's bed. He had lain across the short way, so his legs fell off the other side. Even so, he luxuriated in absolute contentment, and his muscles had the look of flesh that has been worked in precisely the right way. Konan sat in front of him, her right arm tracing the bottom of his hairline. In the occasional moments when his rolled up eyes would glance at her, they shared a look of pleasure. He was much too relaxed for sustained rumbling, but every so often as he turned his head for an easier reach he would let out a dusky purr.

If it weren't for the fact that it was utterly impossible to imagine Konan ever not wearing that impressive-looking cloak, Deidara and Sasori might have thought something had happened in the five minutes they had agreed to wait. Konan's hand dropped away as she heard them coming and stood up to resume her business, but Hidan continued to sprawl. He looked up lazily as Deidara explained why they were there. Even the excitement radiating from him and, to a lesser extent, from Sasori could not disturb Hidan's contented mood. He worked his jaw from side to side a few seconds before Deidara finished asking the two questions he had, so he would be able to answer immediately. He told Dei that there was good clay around a pretty major river to the northeast, not far, and told Sasori of the little shed hidden around the far side of the hotel with enough space for a small vehicle.

They thanked him and left in high spirits, Sasori silently looking between him and Konan and covertly giving a thumbs-up. Konan left the door open but there was no indication of anyone else wanting her or Hidan. She stepped back and turned to look at him, almost embarrassed by Hidan's appearance. She consoled herself by not regretting his happiness in the slightest. He looked up at her and smiled in a much cuter way than usual, a shy little smile that turned up the corners of his mouth, one just barely higher than the other. "Belly rubs?"

Konan would have liked nothing more than to give him a thorough belly rub. Yet, she stayed standing. Hidan felt a little emptiness inside him. Other Me, where the fuck have you gone?

He stretched his ears and yawned, moving on. "Where were we again? Some'n some'n exploring, right?"

Konan nodded. "Yes. I need to speak with Itachi some more. Such attitudes may work well in this world, but I have a feeling about this particular part of this world. In this small part of it, ninjas exist. That alone is a reason to take up caution. I refuse to give up mine, whatever that means for their view of me. Come."

Hidan pushed himself up on the bed slowly. "Mmm. Fine. What about clothes, though?"

Konan considered. "Everyone else is here together and knows at least one ability of theirs. We do not have any enemies right now. Take all things together, and I believe we have time to go into town and visit a tailor if you wish to get a cloak like this as soon as possible."

Hidan pushed himself all the way up and shook himself, grinning. Oh fuck yeah! This is urgent shit! We can always take care of the basement people later, but it takes time to get clothes! He hopped off the bed and bounced as he ran over. "Fuck yes, please."

Konan smiled, and they left.

As they walked down the road between the lived-in houses that led to town, Konan sighed. Hidan heard this and jogged to catch up with her, abandoning the butterfly he had been staring at. "What's wrong?"

Konan pointed with her chin at the trees between some houses they passed. "In my world, ninja commonly travel through the trees, or on other tall structures. In this world, the trees have branches that are too small and closely crowded to make this possible, and these houses belong to civilians that would be frightened. I've always taken such a basic part of shinobi life for granted. It never occurred to me to think of being unable to travel freely."

Hidan looked at the trees he could see behind the houses and tried to picture it. Bigger branches...less of them… "Huh. What are the trees like in your world? This is pretty normal for us."

"I'm not a botanist, but some basic things are common knowledge. Trees take about 3 years to grow to this size. If undisturbed for a decade, they get much larger than this. As each branch expands, it's easy to see how not all of them can remain since they are so close to each other now. Branches that are useful now will be badly placed to weather a storm as the tree gets taller and break off. By the time a tree gets to 15 years old, the lower branches are thick and sparse enough for a human to travel. Give it a few more decades, like trees deep in the forest get, and there won't be any lower branches remaining. The upper branches will be easily thick enough for a human to stand on without attaching himself to the wood with chakra, and sparse enough for travel. When traveling this way through the deep forest, a ninja is fairly isolated between the canopy above and the leaves of shorter trees below. Travel speed is, oh, one and a half times the speed of a horse at full gallop, and if one should fall it is a long, long way to the ground. That doesn't matter because the only ninjas that would be sent on missions so far from their village would be very experienced ones that almost never have a traveling accident unless they are very ill."

Hidan stared. "...The fuck?"

Konan blinked away her visions of her old world - how could nostalgia set in so quickly? - and glanced at him. "What's wrong?"

Hidan continued staring as they walked. "Pretty sure these trees are a decade or so. Sure as shit they're not only three years old! Fuck, that one" - he pointed to a tree with a few lower branches that were thick enough to stand on, but still close enough to others that one would have to crouch - "that one's almost certainly, like, a couple decades. Trees don't grow that fast."

Konan took a closer look at the tree he indicated. It was a nicely-sized seven year old in her experience. "That is the result of decades of growth?"

"Uh, yeah. Wood is some dense shit. I've heard that it takes some time to get it, but wood can be as strong as steel. You take a hacksaw to the ends of those twigs, and it'll still be a good several saws before they come off. Stubborn bastards! But yeah, there's no fucking way a material as strong as that would be grown fast. That's probably why we got steel - it's faster to make."

"There is no possible way that can be true. If you can exert enough force to lift a grown human and throw him at a wooden wall in the first place, that is enough force to throw him through the wall. Wood is not that strong."

"Like shit it isn't. If a person goes running up to a wall, you know what's going to happen? They get knocked on their ass, break their nose if they weren't going fast enough to break their head, and get laughed at. Only cartoon characters, fictional ones that people draw doing funny things for kids to laugh at, only those guys can go through a wall without hurting themselves. I've tripped and fallen against the wall of that bar you met us at before. The doctors had to do a scan to tell if I had a concussion or not."

"You are telling the truth about this?"

"Sure as shit."

Konan fell silent and stared at small cracks in the street as it passed under her. It might be possible, she supposed. It was known that paper made from the wood of trees that were carefully cultivated with chakra exhibited unusual properties if chakra was run through it. It was no mystery that chakra could change the properties of wood. Possibly, not having any in this world affected the way trees usually grew. But Konan could not make sense of the way not having chakra changed tree growth in this world.

"Hidan?"

"Yep?"

"The only difference between our worlds that is likely to have caused this is the presence of chakra. There is chakra present in my world, and it does freely circulate through the environment and all living things so trees would have access to it. However, chakra is commonly used in taijutsu and other forms of physical exercise to enhance the strength of muscles. It qualifies as another form of energy to draw from on top of the normal chemical energy of food, so it makes perfect sense that chakra has the power to enhance organic tissues. But what you've described is the opposite - trees somehow produce weaker wood in a world where chakra exists. How is that possible?"

Hidan did a double take. "Huh. Wow, that is completely different from what I was thinking."

"What were you thinking?"

Hidan scratched his head. "Do trees start producing seeds and baby trees when they're about this size in your world?"

Konan nodded.

"Oh, that makes perfect sense then, because since chakra is a thing in your world and it makes muscles stronger than you need more baby trees and they can do that when they grow faster."

Konan considered his words. They made no sense now but she was sure they would when he gave her the slower explanation. "Slower, Hidan. You need to explain things slower."

"Oh, well, when you have little plants or tiny animals that are really weak and die fast, they also have babies really fast so their species doesn't die out and shit. If you die a lot, you need to have a lot of babies before you do. So, I was thinking, that it makes a lot of sense because in your world chakra lets you use all kinds of super dangerous jutsus and shit that can kill trees really easily, so maybe since your world is more dangerous for them they evolved to grow faster to have babies faster. Kisame's jutsu still came thiiiiiiis close to uprooting a pretty fuckin' big tree, so it's not like being stronger helps our trees resist being killed that much."

"Hmmm. So you think the benefits of chakra strengthening a tree's tissues are outweighed by the increased danger from animals being more destructive, so the presence of chakra is actually bad for a tree's survival in the long run."

"Yeah, so they go the Kakuzu route instead."

Konan held up a hand as she turned to face Hidan. "Do not tell me what that meant. I want to see how well I know you."

Hidan grinned. After such thorough petting earlier, there was no way this awesome lady could possibly get it wrong. He started counting in his head so he could see how long it took her.

"I think you could have substituted Kakuzu's name in that sentence with...cheapass?"

Hidan let out a sustained squeaking sound. Less than five seconds! I, oh shit, I think I love her. There was no one around this time so he threw caution to the wind and hugged her. Mmmmmm. Pet me. Give me orders. And occasionally treats. Love me.

Konan let him hold her. Even before seeing the look in his eyes, she did not have a strong desire to do otherwise. Now, she would have destroyed all her most valued possessions to avoid doing so. She was also not psychic, but that didn't matter when he was so close. It was plainly obvious what he was thinking. Since she knew what he was thinking, she was able to decipher his mumbled demands, fueling her desire to stay here with him. After a few seconds she wondered if her Hidan would have had the same desires, or a slightly different list.

Hidan felt his train of thought sink into a swamp. As he released Konan, still grinning like a loon despite everything, he wondered. Why are we so fucked with?

Other Me, where the fuck are you?

Konan

Despite everything, the conversation continued. It wasn't even very stilted.

"There are several other things that theory could explain," Konan murmured thoughtfully. "If you were talking with a Konoha ninja in my world it was a common occurrence for a gust of wind to blow leaves off the nearby trees during a conversation. The leaves were always green and healthy, still capable of service if they had remained attached to the tree. Now that I think about it, it does seem questionable that a tree would shed serviceable parts so quickly."

"What's Konoha mean?"

"Konohagakure: the Village Hidden in the Leaves. I have a theory that something about them is actually connected to the leaves of the trees around them. It would explain why times of strong emotion on a Leaf ninja's part usually included the gust I just described."

Hidan snorted. "That makes perfect sense. Did any other ninjas do that?"

Konan had no idea. "I do not know. I know about the leaves because I saw it; it was not something unusual enough for anyone to bother talking about. Konoha was the only foreign village I ever visited, so I don't know. Other major villages were named after stone, sand, clouds, things like that. It's possible. I just never saw anything."

Hidan looked down at himself. "What village did you come from?"

Konan's steps did not falter. "Amegakure, the Village Hidden in the Rain. Why?"

Hidan's steps did falter a little. "Nothing. Ow. And what village do I come from?"

"I believe it was called Yugakure, the Village of Hot Water."

Hidan was silent. He carefully looked back and forth along the main road before turning onto it to enter town, but continued saying nothing. Konan looked at him uneasily. His brows were drawn together, staring somewhere on the ground in front of him. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking, but she gave it a guess. Hot water isn't very impressive from a 'possibly controlling elements of nature' point of view. He's probably disappointed. Probably doesn't consider it a good name. Does he like hot water at all? Given his knowledge of the forest, he might be a little jealous of the people who come from the Leaf village. Disappointment, then, perhaps a little envy.

She tugged on his hand. Hidan looked up, meeting her eyes. "Let me guess: disappointed and jealous?"

Hidan scowled and looked down again. "Yeah. All the other villages you mentioned, they're named after big things you can find anywhere. Trees, rocks, rain, shit like that. But Other Me's village was named after hot water. As in, a super specific type of water that you definitely don't find everywhere. It was small, wasn't it?"

Konan nodded.

"Figured it was. That name is so small, it had to be. I don't believe this shit. I couldn't even have come from an impressive village like you or these Leaf people? Probably a rundown middle of nowhere shithole. *sigh* Fuck it."

Konan tightened her grip on his hand, squeezing it gently while she tried to think of the right words. "It's alright, Hidan. Your original made it all the way to the Akatsuki, didn't he? There were only ten of us then, which was as high as our membership ever got. There were some very high requirements for joining; we only accepted very strong ninjas, ones who could terrify entire teams of high-ranked shinobi by themselves. You made it into a very exclusive group. You deserved to be there." She let go of his hand. Best not to spoil herself too much. "You were probably the most important one to come out of that village, yes. But you did. Cherish it."

Hidan looked at her with renewed focus. He was silent once more as they walked together, his attention riveted on this ferocious woman who had just called him the best thing to come out of a tiny village. Nothing he could feel now felt dishonest in any way. There were so many things he wanted to say. But of them all, which was the best?

"Hey Konan?"

"Yes?"

"..."

Konan looked at him sideways, watching patiently. His jaw moved soundlessly, opening sometimes as if he had something to say, then closing without a word. His expression relaxed, brightened, clouded, grew annoyed, then confused. It was impossible to trace or guess his thoughts in any one direction. She just stayed quiet, waited for him to come to a conclusion while she kept an eye and ear out for cars. The street was quiet today. This town did not seem to be the center of much activity, if any. They knew better than that, of course. But it was good that there was no overt danger for now.

"I've never had a family before."

She turned, stared. Family? Before? What does he mean by that? Hidan just scratched his head. It seemed to be a nervous tic whenever he was uncertain about an interaction. Had he known he was going to say that? Or perhaps he was uncertain of her reaction? She did dislike talking about family as a matter of course. Even in the past, she had a vague idea that hers had been somehow different from the experience of others.

But she'd be damned before she'd let that keep her from accepting his words, his attempt at a bond. "Never before? What do you mean by that?"

Hidan looked back in the direction they had come from. "Well...I kinda have something wrong with my memory, I guess. Kakuzu has said so, and… I had to have had a family at some point, right?"

They turned a corner, Hidan stopping briefly and looking around to make sure of where he was first. Once he had it fixed in his mind he moved almost on autopilot, continuing without needing a response. "It's nothing major, just that Kakuzu says that sometimes I do things and don't really remember them. He's told me of things I've said that don't make any sense, to him or to me when he repeats it. Maybe it's something else, or maybe it has something to do with...well...my first memory is Kakuzu, I mean."

He reached back and ran his hand along the top edge of the scythe on his back. Konan had noticed and briefly thought of questioning why he brought it with him when walking into a town of civilians. She had dismissed this with a note to ask why he was so attached to his scythe at a convenient time. Now, a new idea occurred to her. It's almost like it's a part of him. Does he even notice that he has the scythe with him now? He would probably notice more if it was not on his back. Where did he get it?

"My first memory ever is of seeing Kakuzu. I think I was on the side of a road somewhere and he was checking to see if I was okay. I was eight. So, I must've had a family at some point because I had to have been born, but I don't really remember. Konan...do you know anything of that?"

She shook her head slowly, parsing through his words. Eight years old? That really is unusual. "I'm sorry."

Hidan looked around, getting back to more normal business. At the last possible moment Konan thought of something. "Wait."

Hidan spun around to face her. "Buh?"

"I do know one thing. When your original left his village and became a missing-nin, he did so in a fit of anger at the degeneracy of his village. He murdered half the village and set fires that burned down another quarter. The people that he murdered included his own parents. I mentioned it once around him. His face lit up as if he was remembering the greatest day of his life. That doesn't say anything for sure about you. Whatever led him to be happy about killing them in my world might have been just a minor problem in an otherwise healthy relationship in this one. But whatever it was, there was a problem in his family."

Hidan blinked, absorbing her words. "So...you think there was some shit that was unpleasant? I guess that'd kinda make sense...I never got any surge of unpleasant feelings from wondering about them, so I always figured I must've run away for some other reason. Fuck. If I ran away because they were dicks, that would suck. I always hoped my parents were at least a little cool."

Konan looked at him with sympathy in her heart, a feeling she had never thought she would have for this man. At least I get to remember, and what I get to remember is mostly positive. Eight years old was how old I was when I lost them. If I couldn't even remember what I had lost… Would I miss it less because I wouldn't know what I was missing, or would I miss it more because I had nothing to hold on to, not even a memory? I don't even remember what I felt when I saw his happiness at the memory of killing them. It was a jumbled mess of things. But Nagato or Yahiko, if they had seen that, most certainly would have been enraged. To take and reject what we lost before we were ready should have angered me. But we had something to miss. Could it have been justified in his case?

Hidan looked up and down the street. "There's the place! Oh, shit, I hope it won't take them too long to make me one. I'd have to start chewing through my arms like Spongebob after a while."

Sasori

Sasori paced around the small space he had, measuring out with his feet what it would feel like to move around in, to work in. It was smaller than his workspace at the repair shop, but not by much. In fact, considering the extra room at the shop was mostly the little legroom he could just barely squeeze himself through to get behind the machines, it came out to about the same since there were no machines here. Thank god for being small framed.

As he walked around, crossing from side to side getting a feel for the space, Sasori wondered about the purpose he would put it to. Konan said my original made puppets. Remind me to ask her what century her world was in, because I can't remember when was the last time puppets were the height of technological sophistication. And he controlled them with strings, apparently. I won't deny how cool those strings are - his fingers twitched now with the memory of just how right it had felt to be moving those chakra strings earlier - but I'm going to be so far behind the times if I stick to those. I don't think anyone would say anything, but I'd be a laughingstock in my own head at least. My original's techniques are no good. Looks like I have to put the strings aside and start over.

He stopped in the middle, looking around. Yes, some engineer's instinct deep in his being told him, this is a good place. He looked to the right and easily, as if the vision was gifted to him, saw his tools spread out on the little table on that side. In the back, there was an old generator. If it was still in working order, he could probably modify it to reduce the current it put out so a single machine could be safely hooked up to it. A machine… Puppets. So several centuries ago. I don't know the slightest thing about robots. But really, there's no working difference between a robot and a machine aside from artificial intelligence, and since I have chakra, that's not a problem. It can work from my intelligence.

There was one problem, though. The little garage was completely free of materials. Sasori began to draw up a list of what he would need in his head. I am definitely going to have to hit up someone for money. Oh well. The inventor's curse strikes again.

Deidara

The river Hidan had mentioned was easy to find. For one, the trees changed as they approached the large source of water. Dei questioned why he even noticed. What, was Other Me a botanist? Didn't sound like it. He could have been anything, I guess. Maybe it was a side interest or he needed to pay attention to changing plants to keep track of where he was while flying, yeah. Or maybe paying attention to things like this is just part of ninja life, yeah. Wait… I'm looking for a river so I can get clay. Other Me used clay. Duh! He's obviously had to look for rivers before. Of course I'm good at this, hm. He snorted and tapped himself sharply on the head, scolding himself.

For another, the part of the river he approached made some noise, so he was able to hear its faint burbling well before he could see it. As Deidara walked toward the sound, he wondered what kind of river it was. His mind called up the image from the front cover of the version of Huckleberry Finn that he'd had to read in school. He tried to think of something else because there was no way that kind of river would make this kind of noise or be totally unknown to him, but he had nothing to replace it with so that image remained.

After that mental image the actual river was a disappointment. It was large enough to carry a person away, which was the only standard for calling something a river instead of a stream that had ever made sense to him, but only just. The sound was from where several rocks jutted out midstream, forcing the water around and over them. He didn't see any fish. Dei shook his head. He wasn't here to go fishing. He was here to look at the ground, yeah. Hopefully he would be as good at this as he was at finding the river in the first place.

Deidara looked upriver. Didn't see anything that super stood out to him on the banks. He looked downriver. The dirt he could see looked its usual shade of brown. What does clay look like? Let's see, hm. I've heard soils with clay are really bad for planting because they have small particles or something and don't hold water well. All the modeling clay I've ever seen was white. Pretty sure they have to add dyes to colored stuff like Play-Doh, yeah. So it's probably white, and soft-looking. So...would small particled stuff like clay go downriver more or be dropped upriver? What was the rule for that? Crap, I hated earth science. Would've paid so much more attention if I'd known the future, yeah.

After four minutes and several taps to the side of his head as if he could physically jog the memory free, Deidara remembered. Oh my god, I am such an idiot. Small means light which means the water can carry it farther, obviously. I shouldn't be failing at common sense so much, yeah. I know this ninja stuff is all kinds of weird, but that doesn't mean this world and its normal rules just turned off. Common...sense...still...works...you...moron… Each word was punctuated by sharp taps to his head. Grumbling, he set off downriver.

Deidara walked high on the bank, staying dry and looking to the side to see what he could. So far nothing. Several more minutes passed. Nothing. Yet more minutes passed. He groaned. He should've asked if Hidan knew any specific place that had clay. Well it's not his fault. All he could do was point me here, yeah. If I didn't follow his pointing accurately or whatever, what could he do? Give me a guided tour?

That was when he tripped over a root and fell, twisting to the side to avoid a stone. Unfortunately the side he twisted to was his left, which was the side the river was on. Before he was fully, coherently aware of anything he landed in the water with a splash. Reflexively he held his breath, but he didn't have much of it. He twisted, trying to figure out which way was up. His heart raced, making the breath situation even worse. His stomach muscles tightened to try to stop himself from inhaling. Dei clawed at the water, resulting in absolutely nothing. His vision dimmed, and he tried to hold on to what breath he had.

Even as his vision grew darker and his arms reached out sluggishly, a vague idea traced its way through his mind. Dei opened his mouth and exhaled. In the relatively calm and steady waters, the bubble rose undisturbed. Deidara watched as it drifted past his ear rising behind him. Pushing the last of his adrenaline-based strength into his arms, he pushed himself in that direction.

He lost control and inhaled just as his head broke the surface of the water, triggering a coughing fit that made spots swim before his eyes for the second time today. Puking, drowning...is there a god I don't know about messing with me, yeah?! He stopped coughing eventually and reached out to hold onto a solitary rock jutting out of the water as he drifted past. Holding onto that rock, that beautiful, beautiful rock, Deidara laid his head down on top of it and whimpered. I didn't know I hated water before, but I hate it now, hm.

Eventually he started shivering and his arms started to burn and Dei realized he'd better swim to shore and get dry. Taking a couple big inhales to get ready, Dei felt his arms become really warm. My chakra? That feels a lot better, yeah. Thank you body, I super appreciate it, yeah. Then, judging himself to be prepared, he put his feet on either side of the rock and leaped up and away from it towards the bank.

He landed on his hands, his chakra uncoiling into the water. He took no damage from the flexible surface, but was still dazed for several seconds. What the…? Deidara sat up, realizing as he did so that he was actually sitting on the surface of the water. He held his arms up, but lowered them slowly some seconds later as he realized he was not going to fall through. He paid careful attention and realized that his chakra was now up to something in the parts of his body that were touching the water. FML. This couldn't have happened before?! Deidara opened his mouth and screamed, his voice echoing through the trees. It actually felt really good.

Not trusting this miraculous strengthening of the water's surface to continue if he put more pressure on it, Dei spread himself out and crawled across the water toward the bank. He panted, shivering and gasping as a breeze blew across him. Suddenly tired, he sat up. Wasn't being tired when you were cold a bad sign or something? He forced himself to his feet and wandered back to the water's edge. At first he had no idea why. What are you doing, feet? I decided I hate water, right? But still he stood there, leaning against a tree and trying not to fall down or start crying. He blinked once. Twice. It was after his vision clouded over and he rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, then opened them again that he realized what he was looking at. A streak of light colored earth, smooth and gray under the water a foot in front of him.

Deidara smiled just a touch hysterically. I really hate water. And still he stepped forward and sat reaching into the waterlogged ground.

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