Chapter 31

Fuu was unhappy for several very strong reasons. First, she was forced to separate from her Naruto while he was away on his mission in Kumogakure. She would have accompanied him but the request was denied as she had never officially tested or been promoted to chuunin while she was a member of Takigakure's shinobi forces. Second, she was assigned to a team of people she knew very little about except what she had learned of them over the last two weeks while training with them to build a little teamwork. Hinata was a nice girl, quiet and shy but a very skilled combat iryonin. The girl was a little standoffish at first which surprised Fuu as it was clear the girl had to struggle to act as such. She still didn't know what that was about. Then there was the third reason she was unhappy. Her other teammate also happened to be her third problem. Inuzuka Kiba was loud, brash, arrogant, and refused to listen to her orders despite being dressed down several times by Yuuhi Kurenai to do so. Worse, he kept hitting on her, and Hinata, and just about any woman he saw. He was the definition of a hound dog.

"Inuzuka-san," said Fuu coldly, "if Fuu must tell you one more time to stop pestering me and Hinata-san, I will castrate you without anesthetic."

"And I'll help her," said Karin. "And with my medical training I know how to make it hurt for years without killing you."

"Ah come on girls, I know you're just playing hard to get," said Kiba.

Fuu growled in frustration then did something that she never thought she'd have the nerve to do. She grasped Karin firmly around the waste and pulled her in close then kissed her deep and long. After a minute she completely forgot the reason for doing so only that she was no longer unhappy or angry about anything.

Karin was shocked completely at first then she too sunk into the kiss and really enjoyed it for all she was worth.

Meanwhile the occupants of the tavern all froze in muted shock at what just happened. Several men found themselves launched backwards with massive nosebleeds including the male Konohagakure shinobi. Even Hinata had a small trickle of blood trail from her nose.

Finally the kiss broke with both girls completely out of breath and a red flush on their faces and arms.

Seeing a twitching Kiba on floor was amusing to Fuu. "Fuu and Karin must do that again soon."

"Yes, Karin and Fuu must do that again soon," agreed Karin, blushing even more.

"Fuu is now certain no other male will bother us again," said Fuu. She looked at Karin and nodded firmly.

Karin smiled and nodded as well. She fully understood what Fuu had done and why she did it. That didn't mean she didn't enjoy it immensely. She and Fuu hadn't even had a chance to do that with Naruto yet.

"Fuu is going to bed," she said turning and walking towards the room she shared with Karin and Hinata.

Karin quickly rushed after her causing the males to bleed from the nose once again.

"Well, that's one way of dealing with it," joked Kurenai with a laugh. She kicked Asuma a few times to wake him up.

"I'm okay, I'm up. What happened? Where?"

"Pervert," said Kurenai with a pout.

"I'm sorry, I'm a man. I couldn't help it. It was biological," explained Asuma.

"Well... I suppose you can make it up to me," said Kurenai. Slowly she stood and sauntered towards the stairs.

Asuma caught the hint immediately and chased after her.

"Troublesome," complained Shikamaru. "Why couldn't I stay behind?" he asked as he wiped away the blood from his own nosebleed.

"Why? Because we are expected to support our former teammates and encourage them to succeed," explained Shino logically. He too took a moment to wipe away the blood from his own nosebleed.

"Perverts. I'm completely surrounded by perverts," complained Ino loudly.

"I think, I'll just go to bed," whispered Hinata, turning then rushing up the stairs.

"They are all perverts," complained Ino as another round of nosebleeds struck the men.

"Best... night... ever!" shouted Kiba, still laid out on the floor but with a giant silly grin.

Up in Fuu and Karin's room both were giggling profusely.

"I can't believe we just did that," said Karin.

"It was fun. Fuu is very much looking forward to doing it again with you and Naruto-sama."

"I can't believe I'm saying this but so am I," said Karin, giggling like mad once again.

"Naruto-sama will be very jealous he did not get to enjoy that show," said Fuu conspiratorially. "Perhaps we should repeat that and take some pictures to send him."

Karin grinned deviously which was matched by Fuu. "I love the way you think. Are you sure you're not an Uzumaki?"

"Unfortunately, not yet," said Fuu, a small smirk playing at the corner of her mouth.

Karin giggled again before digging into her bag looking for a camera.

Poor Hinata returned to the room just in time to see the girls starting to take pictures.

"Ooh, Hinata-san, would you mind taking pictures for us?" asked Fuu.

Hinata's nose bled slightly and she fainted.

"Was it something Fuu said?"

Karin shrugged. "She'll wake up soon enough, let's continue. This will be the greatest long-distance prank in history."

"If only there was a way to share these photos with him instantly, maybe through a seal or some kind of communication device," said Fuu with a pout.

"I'll look into it," said Karin. She paused then added, "For next time."

Fuu grinned.

BREAK

Onoki was furious as he stormed through the halls of his village's administration building. He'd suffered several major setbacks to his village over the course of the last few months. First, Roshi had vanished and then so had Han. If that weren't enough, Akatsuki had contacted him telling him that their prices had increased because he'd provided poor intelligence. On top of all that bullshit, he was now expected to put forth a chuunin for a three way exhibition match between Iwagakure, Kumogakure, and fucking Konohagakure.

And now, the bastard raikage, A, was demanding he arrive a week in advance of the chuunin exam finals. "To discuss a matter that is an imminent threat to the shinobi nations, my wrinkled old ass," Onoki grumbled.

"Have you agreed to let me participate in the exhibition match yet?" asked a young woman, waiting outside his office. She was a full foot taller than Onoki with short black hair and pupil-less pink eyes.

Onoki groaned. "Kurotsuchi, stop pestering me. I told you I would let you know once we get there. I want a chance to measure up the chuunin from Konoha."

"It's just a fucking tree-hugger. It's not like that bastard came back from the dead," said Kurotsuchi. "And even if it was, I would love nothing more than to melt him into a puddle of goo."

"Stupid grand-daughter," snapped Onoki. "If that bastard was still alive you'd be dead in seconds. As it is, word has it he had a son before he died."

"That's just a rumor spread by Konoha to stir up trouble. If he'd had a son or any child at all we'd have heard about it a long time ago. Now who's fighting, me or Akatsuchi? You know you don't have any other chuunin as strong as us. You do want Konoha's shitty chuunin crushed don't you?" asked Kurotsuchi.

"Be patient," said Onoki. "I'll decide once we get to Kumo. Now if you were smart you'd start brushing up on your kenjutsu defenses. Kumo is sending Darui for the exhibition."

"Do you even know the name of the tree-hugger or any of his skills?" asked Kurotsuchi.

"All I know is that he's an Uzumaki," said Onoki. "So I'd also recommend you brush up on your fuuinjutsu a bit."

"Uzumaki? Aren't they all dead?"

"I only wish," said Onoki. "They were scattered years ago with the destruction of Uzushio. They have recently begun regrouping as a clan once more in Konoha."

"Not like it matters I suppose," said Kurotsuchi. "They were crushed once, they can be crushed again."

"Arrogant brat, this is not a joke. The Uzumaki were once one of the most feared shinobi clans in all of the elemental nations. They only died out because they were caught unaware. Just like you'll be caught unaware if you don't take this seriously and train for it. You want to fight in this exhibition then prove it to me and train your ass off," ordered Onoki.

Kurotsuchi smirked and walked away.

"Stupid grandchildren," complained Onoki.

BREAK

Yugito was annoyed. Matatabi was in a bitchy mood and had been for the last few weeks. And worse, she couldn't seem to convince Killer Bee to just go away and rap to someone else. Add in all the foreign shinobi skulking about her village and her nerves and temper were completely frayed.

"Queen kitty, with the feisty claws and attitude. Follow the octo-eight, we go to see the badass muscle-bound boss man," rapped Bee.

Yugito sighed. "We need to go see the raikage?"

"That's what I said yo," rapped Bee.

Yugito rubbed her temples at the quickly forming headache. "Just go, I'll follow you."

Bee nodded and turned to walk, notepad in one hand, pen in the other scribbling rhymes.

"I know I'm going to regret asking this but why are we going to see A-sama?"

"Major eight and Captain two got some shit to spin," rapped Bee.

"The bijuu? What the hell could they possibly want there?" asked Yugito.

"Hell if I know, my sweet ass bell," rapped Bee.

Yugito punched him in the jaw for that rap. Even she could understand that last lyric.

The pair walked in silence at that point, Bee was nursing his busted jaw. Eventually they reached the office of the raikage.

"He's in a meeting," said Mabui, seeing the pair coming.

"Oh´, I know," rapped Bee, "party crashing is the flow." Bee then ignored Mabui and kicked open the office doors.

Mabui groaned and ducked under her desk for safety.

Bee walked in to see his new friend Naruto and the man he knew as Kakashi both standing defensively between him and another man he also recognized as Jiraiya. Bee focused in on Naruto and smirked. He walked up to the boy and held out a fist.

Naruto looked at the fist for a moment then back at Bee's face. Naruto met his fist with one of his own.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Bee?" demanded the raikage. "And you're paying for that door."

Yugito walked in behind Bee with her hands on her hips looking more than a little displeased. "I'm going to kill you Bee."

Naruto cocked his head to the side to get a look at the girl and gave her a quick wave.

"Bee, what are you doing here?" demanded A.

"Three of the mighty nine gotta spit some words," rapped Bee.

"Three of the mighty nine?" questioned A, then he focused in on Naruto. "You brought a fucking jinchuuriki to my village!"

"What's your point?" asked Jiraiya. "He's my apprentice, he goes where I go. Besides, he's completely stable. It's not like it was a secret, I'm surprised your sensors didn't tell you as soon as we stepped into the city."

"Was this your plan the whole time? To have your jinchuuriki meet mine then steel the secrets to how we train?" demanded A.

"No," said Yugito. "He's more advanced than I am. Matatabi is freaked."

"We're not here to start a fight," said Jiraiya. "However, I won't deny that part of our visit had to do with the bijuu. I never thought we'd actually get to meet your jinchuuriki though."

"And what part of your visit could have anything to do with the bijuu or my jinchuuriki?" demanded A.

"Akatsuki again," said Jiraiya. "We've discussed them several times over the course of several meetings. The one aspect of them I haven't discussed with you yet is in relation to their plans for the bijuu and by extension the jinchuuriki."

"They have plans for the bijuu?" asked A, now curious.

"Naruto, please enlighten the group," said Jiraiya.

Naruto looked nervous now that all eyes were on him. "Well, Kurama and I have talked about Akatsuki a lot. He's almost certain that the reason Akatsuki has been trying to capture all the bijuu is to resurrect the juubi."

A slammed a fist down on his desk shattering it.

Yugito paled considerably.

Bee frowned.

"We know for certain that there is an Uchiha in Akatsuki that wears an orange mask. We also know for certain that he can control the bijuu. He was the one responsible for Kurama attacking Konoha around fourteen years ago. Kurama thinks that if this guy can control the bijuu then he probably believes he can control the juubi too," explained Naruto nervously. He knew that all of this was planned but it was still risky as hell.

"I see," said A leaning back in his chair and smoothing his goatee. "And you had planned to inform me of all of this when?"

"Before we left. We knew it would be a sensitive issue and with as much as we hoped to discuss we did not want our negotiations cut short before we had a chance to discuss everything. Too late now but there it is," explained Jiraiya nonchalantly.

"They would have to kill us to get the demons though," said Yugito, still trying to grasp the situation.

"That's kind of the point," said Naruto. "They are all S-rank shinobi. I've fought them twice now and was very lucky to escape with my life. The best any of us has managed was to wound one of them and force them to retreat temporarily. But like the cockroaches they are, they keep coming back for more."

"Fine," said A. "Yugito, Bee, take the boy and go talk, the three of you. Jiraiya and I have things to discuss."

Jiraiya was about to protest but it was too late, all three were already gone.

"Don't worry, no harm will come to him," said A, somewhat more relaxed.

"I'll have to take your word for it now, won't I?" asked Jiraiya, not expecting or wanting an answer.

BREAK

"So the raikage took that pretty well," said Naruto, following behind the other two jinchuuriki.

"Shockingly well," said Yugito. "How long have you know he was here Bee?" The slight hesitation in Bee's step at her saying that was all the confirmation she needed.

"Why don't we find someplace to sit down and have a more private conversation?" offered Naruto.

"Okay, I'll bite," said Yugito. She pointed to a karaoke building just down the street. "We'll get a karaoke box, that will keep Bee occupied so the grown ups can talk."

Naruto shrugged and followed along.

Bee however picked up his pace making a rush for their destination.

When Yugito and Naruto caught up to Bee he'd already gotten a karaoke box and was rapping.

Naruto sat down, a small smile on his face. He closed his eyes calmly. Opening them in the familiar steam tunnel of his subconscious, he walked towards his final destination only to here a three way argument going on.

"I was his favorite. I'm the cutest," argued a female voice loudly.

"I was his favorite, he made me the strongest," argued Kurama's familiar voice.

"No, I was his favorite. Look at me, I'm the most unique and creative of all of us. I'm an octo-ox, how much more pimpin' can you get?"

Naruto couldn't restrain his laughter as he entered the familiar area.

"My container's here now, let's ask him to decide," said Kurama.

"He's biased. Of course he's going to pick you," argued Matatabi.

"He is not biased. Being a scary good judge of character does not make him biased," argued Kurama.

Naruto meanwhile began laughing harder.

"Just look at the boy, he's not even taking this seriously," stated Gyuuki with a huff.

"He's only laughing because he knows this argument is pointless. He knows I'm the favorite. Always have been and always will be," said Kurama with a sense of finality in the statement.

Naturally this brought on a whole new level of arguing.

Naruto was soon joined by Yugito who also could not restrain her own laughter at the giant demons arguing over who was the favorite, to who had the most badass container, to who caused the most destruction, to who played the best trick on Shukaku. It was far and away the funniest thing he'd ever personally seen. Especially when it turned slapstick and they started poking each other in the eyes, slapping upside the head, gut punching, butt kicking, or tripping.

"Wow," said Yugito finally catching her breath from laughing so hard. Their argument had finally degenerated into a brawl.

"I know," said Naruto. "For being thousands of years old they sure do act like teenagers."

"No kidding," said Yugito. "Still, entertainment gold. Bee is going to be sorry he skipped out so he could keep working on his rapping."

"What's that about anyway?"

"No idea, legend tells that when Gyuuki was sealed in him it messed up his brain so he can't do anything but rap. Personally, I think he was dropped on his head as a child... repeatedly."

Naruto laughed at Yugito's joke.

"So, how long have you and Bee been planning this meeting?"

"Since the day I arrived," said Naruto. "Kurama and I were playing a game of riddles when Gyuuki just showed up. We had a chance to talk about the whole Akatsuki thing and then we hashed a plan so that I could meet you too. He said you'd probably not be overly kind to me and would more than likely inform the raikage unless we did it that way."

"He's right, I would have. My father died at Konoha's hands during the signing of a peace treaty," said Yugito bitterly.

"I'm sorry for your loss," said Naruto.

"It's not your fault. It's those cursed Hyuuga bastards. Assassinating my father like that," spat Yugito.

"Hyuuga? You mean the Hyuuga incident from ten years ago?" asked Naruto.

"I don't know what you call it but ten years ago is right," said Yugito.

"So, you were told your father was assassinated by the Hyuuga clan?" asked Naruto.

"Yes," said Yugito. "But reparations were made. The Hyuuga clan head was killed and his body sent to us."

"Wow," said Naruto. "You were lied to big time."

"What are you talking about?"

"First, it wasn't an assassination. He was killed in an attempt to kidnap the heiress of the Hyuuga clan, a close friend of mine named Hinata. Second, the Hyuuga didn't send you the body of the clan head but that of his twin brother, member of the branch family that had his bloodline sealed so it couldn't be stolen," explained Naruto.

"Lies, obviously you've been told lies," said Yugito.

"Or you've been lied to," said Naruto. "I wasn't personally connected to the situation. I only know a little of the situation. Maybe you should ask the raikage. And I'll ask the hokage, baachan owes me a favor anyway."

"Baachan? You call your hokage that and you're still alive?"

"Yeah, so? I've had to stop myself from calling the raikage, A-tonchiki (meathead) several times," said Naruto, earning a laugh from Yugito

Suddenly stopping herself from laughing but not able to hide the small smile. "You shouldn't disrespect him like that."

"Why do you think I haven't actually said it to his face? He'd turned me into a smear on his office wall," said Naruto, a mock look of terror on his face.

"Do you have any idea how hard it's going to be not to call him that for the next few weeks?"

"Very," said Naruto. "I'm trying to forget it now but I just can't help it."

"I suppose you're not too bad for a tree-hugger," said Yugito. "Sorely misinformed by the lies your village spread but not bad."

"Thanks... I think," said Naruto. "You're not too bad for a cloud-sucker either."

"Cloud-sucker? Do you really call Kumo shinobi that?"

"I do now," said Naruto with a grin.

Yugito once again couldn't hide her laughter.

"So, do me a favor, dig into the facts surrounding your old man's death and I'll do the same then maybe we can compare notes in a few months if we're both still alive and those shitheads from Akatsuki haven't killed us," said Naruto calmly.

"Deal," said Yugito, holding out a fist to Naruto.

Naruto grinned and bumped his fist with hers.

BREAK

The room was filled with anger and hatred and glaring, lots and lots of glaring. Naruto's face couldn't hide his thoughts as he observed the delegation from Iwagakure. Based on how most of those glares were concentrated on him, he guessed they did not like him at all.

"What the hell is the meaning of this?" demanded Onoki, an accusing finger pointing at Naruto while he turned his glare on A.

"The chuunin from Konoha," said A, matching Onoki's glare.

"A kami-be-damned lookalike to the fucking cursed yondaime? Is this some kind of joke?" demanded Onoki. His face was a dark puce color from the blood building up in his face.

Naruto was about to protest before Kakashi quickly covered his mouth.

"Listen up you old gnome. You bad mouth my student again, either of them, and I'll personally break you," said Jiraiya angrily.

"You want war? I'll give you a war you'll not soon forget!" shouted Onoki angrily.

"Yeah, cause that worked out so well for you last time," said Jiraiya. "I believe it was my student then too that kicked your asses rather handily. I'm pretty sure my student here will do the same in the exhibition match."

"How dare you? A, you can't possibly stand for this piece of shit Konoha shinobi talking to me like that?" asked Onoki.

"Normally I wouldn't," said A, reaching into his desk. He pulled out a folder and tossed it roughly at Onoki.

Kurotsuchi caught the folder before it could hit her grandfather.

"Then we found this," said A coldly.

Onoki roughly took the folder from Kurotsuchi.

There was no small amount of satisfaction from A and Jiraiya both as the color quickly drained from Onoki's face, from dark angry puce to squalid pale white.

"Did you really think I'd never find out?" asked A.

Onoki finally huffed angrily then threw the folder back at A. When in doubt, bluff. "So what, it's just business."

"That's the only reason you aren't dead already," said A. "Now, I suggest you hold back on your righteous indignation so we can set the terms for this exhibition match."

"Death match," said Onoki, narrowing his eyes to glare at Naruto.

"No," said A. "You may be willing to let one of yours get killed over a goodwill match but I'm not. Surrender or knock out as agreed when I signed off on it in the first place. I'm more interested in venue."

"What are our options?" asked Jiraiya, considerably calmer than before.

"Well, the stadium is the obvious choice as that is where our crowds will gather to watch. But we have the option to do this a day before the finals in a larger outdoor venue," explained A.

"Yeah, but there won't be near as many of the rich to watch. We stay with the stadium," said Onoki, still glaring at Jiraiya then Naruto and back.

"Can we alter the terrain in the stadium?" asked Jiraiya.

"Right now it's a large rocky area, a small crevice with a stream through it. Very little vegetation," explained Mabui. The woman had stood calmly behind A's left shoulder while Darui stood behind A's right. "Changing the environment would not be difficult but it was designed this way to simulate terrain common to where our missions occur."

"That's fair," said Jiraiya.

"I suppose the only thing left to discuss then is when they will fight," said Onoki.

"We could have them fight between the first and second round. We could open the exam with their fight or we could even close the exams with their fight," offered Jiraiya. "I don't think Naruto cares when he fights. It's not like either of your fighters would challenge him."

Naruto's eyes widened as Jiraiya said that and turned a glare on him.

"Oh, too easy for you?" asked Onoki. "Why don't we make it tougher then. Two of my chuunin, two of A's, and just your one little chuunin."

Jiraiya shrugged. "If you really want to be embarrassed that badly when not one but two of each of your shinobi lose then sure, why not?"

Naruto tried to protest but Kakashi was still muffling him.

"Deal," said Onoki with a feral grin, thinking he'd gotten one over on them.

"I agree to this as well," said A.

"Akatsuchi and Kurotsuchi will both compete in this exhibition match," said Onoki.

"Darui and C will fight," said A.

"Great, Naruto wouldn't be satisfied unless he was fighting the best chuunin you had to put forward," said Jiraiya with a grin. He clapped his hands together once loudly. "That's all for us today. I'll be taking my apprentice to starting working out strategy."

Naruto was still protesting as Kakashi dragged him from the room and continued all the way back to their hotel.

Finally back in their hotel room, Kakashi released a now-silent Naruto.

"What the hell was that?" asked Naruto. "You know both sides are going to be gunning for me now right?"

"They would have been regardless," said Jiraiya. "We were sent to send a message. Now go big or go the fuck home."

"Shit," mumbled Naruto. "Damn it all to hell! Fine, I'll kick their asses. But I need you to leave me alone for the next week. I need to focus."

"On what?" asked Jiraiya.

Naruto just grinned.

BREAK

Hanabi was beyond tired. Ever since the end of the separation between main family and branch family she had found herself faced with a new reality. A new reality that now included something so foul, so heinous that Hanabi could not bring herself to accept it.

"Hanabi-chan, are you paying attention?" asked a former branch member named Koya. She was an elderly woman that had served faithfully for many years but now because of the end of the branch family had chosen to retire to watch over her grandchildren and soon to be great-grandchild.

"Sorry, Koya-san," said Hanabi. "I was distracted for a moment."

"Oh, and what has to you so distracted?"

"I was thinking about how much things have changed for our family," said Hanabi.

"Change is good child," said Koya, a tender smile on her face. "Change is life, if we don't change we stagnate and die."

"I understand," said Hanabi. "It's just hard to accept."

"You just don't want to do your own laundry," said Koya.

"No, I don't," said Hanabi, a forced smile on her face as she knew that Koya had seen right through her.

"Fear not, child," said Koya, "laundry is easy. It just takes a little time."

"How much time?" asked Hanabi.

"Maybe an hour, child," said Koya with a small chuckle.

Hanabi frowned then sighed. "Let's just get this over with."

And so it was that Hanabi had faced her most difficult enemy to date, chores. First she had to wash her clothes which left her hands wrinkled and the skin on them pealing slightly. It took her about forty minutes to wash all of her clothes and now she was working on hanging them all out to dry.

"What's up Shiro-chan?" asked a young man's voice. A young man Hanabi had come to know as the bane of her existence. And yet, in spite of her best efforts he kept showing up.

"Chores," sighed Hanabi.

"Yeah, I hate chores too," said Konohamaru. "I always have to pick up the leaves in our yard."

"That doesn't sound too bad," said Hanabi.

"We live in Konoha. Do you have any idea how many leaves end up in my yard? It's millions," said Konohamaru exaggerated.

Hanabi couldn't help the giggle that emerged from her mouth.

"Ha, yes, I got her to laugh!" shouted Konohamaru.

Hanabi's small laugh died instantly as she glared at Konohamaru.

"And she's back," said Konohamaru with a laugh of his own. Then his eyes narrowed on what Hanabi was doing. "Did you just finish washing all of that?"

"Yes, I did. And I did it all on my own," said Hanabi haughtily.

"Did it take long?" asked Konohamaru, fishing behind his back for something.

"About an hour," said Hanabi. "As soon as I finish hanging all of it I'll be done. Why?"

"That's too bad," said Konohamaru with a small smirk.

"What's too bad?"

"Well, they all turned pink," said Konohamaru.

Hanabi's eyes widened as she looked down at her basket then relaxing slightly. "What are you talking about, they're all fine."

Konohamaru chuckled. "Not any more!" he shouted as he threw a pellet into the basket with burst in a cloud of pink smoke.

Hanabi coughed several times as she waited for the smoke to clear. When it did her freshly washed clothes were all pink now as was the basket, her arms and her face.

"Catch me if you can!" yelled Konohamaru from on top of a wall waving a piece of pink cloth.

"I'll kill you!" shouted Hanabi, dropping her basket.

"Nice undies!" shouted Konohamaru, waving the pink cloth again and then dropping to other side of the wall. He ran away as fast as his feet would carry him laughing like a loon the whole time.

Hanabi turned bright red, then activated her byakugan and gave chase.