Chapter 30

Kaminari no Kuni was cold, Naruto decided as he shivered one more time and wrapped his cloak tighter around himself. This was the fifth high altitude mountain pass he and the other Konohagakure shinobi had passed through. He was beginning to think the guides from Kumogakure were doing this on purpose in an attempt to get him and the three genin sick before they could compete in the chuunin exams.

"How much further?" asked Naruto, after another freezing cold gust of mountain air nearly left him frozen.

"Next mountain range," said Samui, a young woman with blonde hair and healthy assets. Naruto noticed she seemed to say 'cool' a lot also. "It's not cool to keep asking."

The guides were three shinobi from Kumogakure that had met them in Shimo no Kuni near the border of Kaminari no Kuni. And as much as Samui said 'cool' a lot, she was in fact ice cold and did not talk much despite Naruto's best efforts to drag her into conversation. The other two shinobi were Karui and Omoi.

Omoi was odd in Naruto's opinion. Every time Naruto had talked to him, no matter what the subject, he'd imagine the worse case scenario that usually resulted, through an impressively convoluted sequence of increasingly unlikely events, in nothing less than the total annihilation of all mankind. Naturally, Naruto had to turn it into a game. He'd ask Omoi's opinion on the most mundane things he could think of just to see how Omoi would make it end in everyone's death. It really became quite hilarious.

Karui was a hothead, even more so than Naruto was just a year and a half ago when he'd first become a genin. How the girl ever made chuunin, he had no idea. It took very little to spark her anger and like Omoi, it became a game to see how easy it would be to set her off. Even more so when he learned how to use Omoi's habits to set her off.

"You should stop toying with them," said Kakashi, walking up next to Naruto.

"You telling me you're not enjoying the show?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi shrugged. "Just be careful you don't dig too deep into their sides or they could react violently."

Naruto clicked his tongue. "As if I, the master prankster, would not know just how far I can push someone before they crack."

Kakashi frowned, "Who is the master prankster?"

"Me," said Naruto proudly as he pointed to Gai and Lee.

Kakashi turned and looked then tripped over his own two feet and crashed face first into the snow at the edge of the path they were walking along.

Naruto laughed. He couldn't help himself. When he'd heard about Kakashi's ultimate prank on Gai he just knew he'd have to one up Kakashi and truly claim his title.

The previous night

Kakashi and Karui had gone to sleep early as they were to have the early morning patrol. Jiraiya had passed out drunk. Neji was currently on patrol with Samui, having been paired with her because it was believed that Samui would be the least likely to set Neji off.

"Well, I think I'm going to sleep now," said Sakura. She was one of the lucky ones that would not have to patrol that night.

"Night Sakura-chan," said Naruto, Lee, and Gai in unison.

"Night guys," said Sakura, standing and excusing herself to her tent.

Omoi sat silently sharpening a sword.

"Hey Gai-sensei?" called Naruto softly. "I was wondering about something."

"Oh, what is that my youthful friend, Naruto-kun?"

"Well, I heard the story about your taijutsu suit," said Naruto. "I was very surprised that Kakashi-sensei suggested it to you."

"It was very youthful of my rival," said Gai, nodding several times.

Naruto frowned for a moment. "It's just that I also feel bad about it. That he tricked you like that."

"What unyouthful trickery are you speaking of, Naruto-kun?" asked Lee, a frown of his own marring his face.

"I assure you Naruto-kun," began Gai, "this suit is no trick. It is a most splendid and aerodynamically sound suit for a taijutsu expert such as myself to adorn. The color is perfect for camouflage as the green blends in with most surroundings and the red belt and orange leg warmers are often mistaken for sunlight or youthful flowers."

"That's not what I meant," said Naruto sadly. "I meant about him holding out on part of the suit. The most important part. I mean, you know Kakashi-sensei would have to keep some kind of an edge or he'd never be able to beat you in a spar again, right?"

Gai and Lee both gasped in outrage.

"How could I have been so blind? Of course my rival would be so unyouthful as to hide something so important if he want to maintain his edge in our competitions. Tell me, do you know what he has held back?"

"I don't know if I should," said Naruto.

"Please Naruto-kun, you must tell us. It will be our youthful little secret as to where we learned it," pleaded Lee.

Naruto sighed. "I suppose, but you both must promise to never reveal where you learned it from."

"Of course, this is a promise on our flames of youth. If we were to betray such a youthful promise then those flames would be forever extinguished," said Gai.

"Okay, you've convinced me I can trust you," said Naruto. "The secret is in the mask. You see, your mouth will often be open while in combat and your nose is always open. They both can create a minute amount of air drag that slows you down ever so slightly."

"Of course, how could I have not seen it before," said Gai, he thumped a closed fist down on an open palm. "It's ingenious," said Gai. "It explains why he is always wearing that mask of his. Why he has always been so diligent in wearing it and finding ways to eat and drink without removing it. It all makes sense now."

"But I thought you said Kakashi-rival-sensei didn't wear the most youthful taijutsu uniform because he is not a specialist?" asked Lee.

"Ah but Lee-kun, you forget. Just because he does not specialize, does not mean he does not do small things to improve. A mask is so minor that no one would think to question it, but if it made him even a few milliseconds faster then it would be an advantage he could not forgo," explained Gai.

"Yosh!" shouted Lee, earning several shushes.

"We shall have to endeavor to procure some most youthful masks when we return to Konoha," said Gai.

"Well, if you want, Kakashi-sensei gave me a few a couple of weeks ago," said Naruto, reaching into his small back pack. "I was supposed to wait to the exhibition match to use them but I suppose Lee's need is greater given he'll be participating in the exams trying to get promoted."

"Thank you Naruto-kun, it is most youthful of you to put my Lee-kun's well-being above your own," said Gai with tears forming in his eyes.

"Just make sure you keep my secret and we'll call it even," said Naruto with a kind smile for the pair as he handed each of them an orange mask to match their leg-warmers.

Back to the next morning

Kakashi sputtered several times in the snow as he tried to stand up again only to slip and fall again.

Naruto finally helped Kakashi back to his feet but his laughing the whole time didn't help.

"I don't even know what to say about this," said Kakashi.

"Like I said, I am the prank king," said Naruto with an exaggerated bow.

BREAK

Naruto whistled appreciatively as he looked up at the giant blue spire wrapped around an entire mountain peak that made up the central administration building of Kumogakure.

"Better be careful, people fall off all the time," taunted Karui, trying to get under their skin.

"Oh man, I bet that would be awesome," said Naruto excitedly, completely dashing Karui's plan. "Free fall about half-way down then chakra slide to the bottom. So fun! Hey, can you show me the best place to try it?"

Karui frowned and turned away grumbling as she and her teammates guided them into the village.

Sakura snickered at Naruto's plan. "Nice one, Naruto."

"Nice one what?" asked Naruto. "I was serious. That would be so much fun."

Sakura laughed and shook her head at his familiar antics. "Don't ever change Naruto."

"As if I ever would," said Naruto, a confident smirk on his face.

"We will show you to the hotel and then we will take the diplomatic envoy to meet with the raikage," said Samui calmly.

"Where do we go for the exam?" asked Sakura.

"A chuunin will come get you and take you to the site of the first part of the exam tomorrow at nine," answered Samui, before she turned and continue walking further into the city.

The city seemed to radiate around the central administration building with several other large structures surrounding the various nearby peaks. The rest of the city seemed to be carved directly into the side of the mountains with several houses and business built inside the hollowed out caverns. Naruto was amazed by it to say the least.

Naruto followed along obediently, taking in the sights as they went. Before he knew it they were in an elevator that carried them up the blue administration building.

"There is a reason Kumogakure has never been invaded directly," said Karui with a confident smirk.

"Except by the Soragakure shinobi fifty years ago when they destroy two-thirds of your village in a single attack eliminating you from the first shinobi world war and almost eliminating you as a major shinobi power," said Kakashi, not looking up from his book.

Karui frowned and huffed angrily.

"Technically, it was a bombardment," said Samui, trying to calm her teammate. "They never actually landed shinobi."

Kakashi shrugged and continued reading his book as the elevator climbed higher and higher.

Jiraiya and Naruto both chuckled slightly. It was only the three of them as Gai was assigned to stay back and make sure Neji and the other two genin didn't get into any trouble.

"Hello, Mabui-san," greeted Samui as they entered a large office and she walked up to the desk.

"Welcome home, Samui-chan," replied Mabui calmly. "I see that your mission was successful. Let me inform the raikage of your arrival." Mabui was darker skinned like many of the people Naruto had seen in the village. Her hair was short and white. She was dressed very formally.

Samui nodded once and stepped back from Mabui's desk to wait.

Mabui stood and walked through the double doors behind her to the right of her desk. There was some muffled shouting from the other side of the door and a loud crash. Mabui returned a moment later looking unharmed.

"Raikage-sama will see you now," she said holding the door open for them.

Jiraiya led the way with Naruto and Kakashi on either side.

The office was very large as was the shirtless man sitting behind a desk that was lying in two pieces on the floor. The man was dark skinned with white hair and a small goatee and currently doing dumbbell curls.

"So, you actually came," said the man with a sneer.

"We keep our word," said Jiraiya, smirking as the man before him sneered further. It was an obvious slight in regards to the Hyuuga incident from years before.

"So you do," said the man who Naruto now figured with the raikage. "You arranged this to open diplomatic relations with us so please, relate."

"Do you trust everyone in this room?" asked Jiraiya calmly. "Other than us of course."

"With my life," said the raikage, visibly getting angrier as his skin took on an angry red hue.

"We wanted to open discussions about Akatsuki," said Jiraiya bluntly.

The raikage froze in his exercise. Slowly he placed the dumbbell on the floor. Then he sit up straight and crossed his arms. "Okay, I'm listening."

"Suna, Kiri, and Konoha have all recognized the threat Akatsuki poses to all of the elemental nations. Thus, we are trying to open discussions in an attempt to cooperate in an effort to deal with them on a permanent basis," explained Jiraiya calmly.

"I noticed you didn't include Iwa in that list," said the raikage.

"No we didn't," said Jiraiya flatly. "And we don't intend to so long as Iwa continues to hire them for mercenary work."

The raikage sneered again. "You're telling me that Iwa has been hiring that organization? What proof do you have?"

Jiraiya slowly reached inside his jacket and produced a scroll which he handed to the raikage.

The raikage frowned distrustfully as he accepted the scroll and opened it. The man read the scroll seemingly calm but the steady clenching of his jaw and grinding of his teeth said otherwise. After a few minutes the raikage rolled it back up and then ripped the scroll in half and lighting it on fire with a charge of electricity from his hand.

"If I am to believe this evidence then maybe we do have something to discuss," said the raikage. "You'll forgive me for being suspicious while I have my shinobi check some of that information."

Jiraiya shook his head and pulled out another scroll, a duplicate of the first. "I brought a spare just in case."

The raikage took the scroll with he threw harshly at a corner of the room which resulted in a yelp of pain as another shinobi appeared. "C, go check that out."

"Right away, A-sama," said the shinobi, vanishing a moment later in a shunshin.

"Now, if we are to discuss this further, why should I bother discussing this with you. After all, none of my shinobi have ever joined them where as at least one of yours has," said A coldly.

"As has Suna, Kiri and Iwa had shinobi join them," said Jiraiya. "You've been lucky in that way. It doesn't change the threat that they represent to all of us. Whether you trust us or not doesn't change that either. We came here as a sign of good faith."

The raikage remained silent for a few minutes as he studied Jiraiya, a stray hand smoothing his goatee repeatedly.

"If your team of genin make it to the finals we can discuss this further," said A with a sense of finality. "Mabui, have them returned to their hotel rooms."

Once outside all three seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. "That actually went pretty well," said Jiraiya.

"That guy is intense," said Naruto. "I can see why he was made the raikage."

"Raikage-sama is the strongest shinobi in the world," said Samui with no small amount of pride in her voice.

Naruto, Kakashi, and Jiraiya all shared a quick look and shrugged before following the star struck girl to their hotel.

BREAK

In their hotel room the trio sat with a bottle of sake. The first part of this mission was a success. They survived the first meeting with the raikage and have a chance to meet with him again.

"Okay, so both of you know your part of the plan for the next phase?" asked Jiraiya.

"I'll be meditating here with Kurama actively scanning for Matatabi and Gyuuki hoping they don't freak if I do make contact and warn their containers who in turn warn the raikage who in turn kills us all, which in turn starts another shinobi world war, which weakens all the nations which in turn allows Akatsuki the chance to take over and wipe out all of humanity," said Naruto with a frown.

"You spent way too much time with Omoi on that trip here," said Kakashi.

Naruto blinked several times then slapped himself hard enough to knock his chair over. "Sorry about that," he said from the floor, still seated in his chair.

"I'll be guarding you and keeping an eye out for them from an elevated position," said Kakashi, ignoring Naruto.

"And I'll be using my normal methods of gathering intelligence," said Jiraiya, finishing with a severely perverted giggle. "Alright Kakashi, let's go!"

"He's way too excited for this," mumbled Naruto, watching them leave.

Naruto sat on the floor, legs crossed and began meditating. Naruto walked the halls of his mind casually and happy for the time to reflect. A lot in his life had changed in a short period of time. He'd found family, gone on adventures, saved lives, and had a great time doing all of it. He'd even managed to score not one but two hot girlfriends. He couldn't help the perverted giggle that escaped him as he thought about it.

"I don't think I will ever understand human mating rituals," said Kurama as Naruto drew nearer his prison.

"Can you even mate?" asked Naruto.

Kurama shrugged his shoulders slightly. "There are only nine of us demons and we're all brothers and sisters. I don't think it would be wise to try. Not to mention you've met some of my family. They are all assholes as big as I am."

"Couldn't you, like shrink down and find a fox like you?" asked Naruto. "Or what about a fox summon?"

"The first would be rude and the second would wrong on so many levels," said Kurama calmly.

"Must be lonely," said Naruto.

"Sometimes, but that is our lot in life," said Kurama.

"It still sucks," said Naruto morosely. "Anyway, you catch a whiff of your brother or sister yet?"

"Nothing yet," said Kurama, huffing loudly.

"Let me know," said Naruto, suddenly finding himself bored. "What do you do in here when I'm not around?"

"Sleep mostly. Sometimes I'll see what you're doing if you're pulling on some of my chakra. But sleep mostly."

"That sounds boring," said Naruto with a frown.

"It is," said Kurama.

"Can we play a game or something?"

Kurama perked a curious eyebrow. "What did you have in mind?"

"What games do you know?" asked Naruto.

"Hmm, we could play riddles, the sage used to play with my brothers and sisters and I," offered Kurama.

"Cool, bring it on, Kurama, you're going down," said Naruto.

"Give me food, and I will live. Give me water and I will die. What am I?"

"What? That's hard. You're not cheating are you?"

Kurama chuckled slightly amused.

"Lives with food but dies with water, what the hell does that? It's not one of your brothers or sisters is it?"

"Nope."

"Is it a rare animal I never would have heard of?"

"Negative. Do you give up?"

"Give up? Who do you think I am? You'd better give up on me ever giving up. I'll get it just give me time."

"Times wasting."

"Okay, what dies in water?" Naruto asked to himself. "Cats can't swim but it would take a lot of water. So what dies with a little water? Plants die with too little water but you can't really feed them anything but water so..."

"It's not a plant or animal," hinted Kurama.

"Okay, so it isn't alive," said Naruto.

"I never said that," added Kurama.

"So it's alive but not a plant or animal? How the hell does that work? Never mind, I'll figure it out."

"Tick-tock, time's almost up," said Kurama.

"You never said there was a time limit?" complained Naruto.

"I just made one. I want a turn too you know," said Kurama, a small smirk at the corner of his mouth.

Naruto growled slightly. "Okay, alive, dies in water, needs food, not a plant or animal. So it has to be something in nature like the wind or somethi- It's fire!"

"Not bad, gaki," said Kurama. "Your turn."

"The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?"

"How could you remember a riddle that long?"

"I'm a ninja, it's a ninja riddle," said Naruto. "I heard it back in the academy."

"A coffin," said Kurama, smirking victoriously.

"Now how did you get that so fast?"

"You said it's a ninja riddle. Ninja are all about death so it would make sense to be about death," offered Kurama. "Now, it's my turn again."

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead," grouched Naruto.

"No sooner spoken than broken. What is it?"

"A secret," said Naruto. "That's a ninja riddle too."

"I'll give it to you but I was looking for silence. Something you seem to know nothing about," grouched Kurama at being thwarted so quickly.

"What walks on four legs in the morning, two at mid-day and three in the evening?"

"Man," said a new voice interrupting their game.

Naruto turned in slight surprise to see a guest. A giant bull with eight tentacles for tails, "Gyuuki, how did you sneak in here? Kurama, why didn't you tell me?"

Kurama mumbled something unintelligible.

"What was that? I didn't get that?" asked Naruto.

"I said I wasn't paying attention, there happy now?" said Kurama irritably and slightly embarrassed.

Naruto naturally had to laugh heartily for Kurama being absent minded.

"You've really mellowed bro," said Gyuuki, a laugh of his own.

"I have not, you take that back!" demanded Kurama. "And you're one to talk. I can just smell the contentedness rolling off of you."

"I will not take it back. And I am chill, yo."

"Nice to meet you Gyuuki-san. I'm Naruto."

"Nice to meet you too. You're a little off for a jinchuuriki, especially to this big guy," Gyuuki said, pointing at Kurama for the last part.

Naruto laughed a bit. "Yeah, Son Goku said the same thing."

"The shit flinger said that you scared him," said Kurama.

"The... shit... flinger..." Gyuuki fell to the floor rolling in laughter and was joined quickly by Kurama.

"Is it really that funny?" asked Naruto, no answer came as the two of them just continued laughing. "I guess so."

Once the two demons finished giggling like school girls, Naruto was able to talk to Gyuuki. "So, we're going around warning all of your brothers and sisters about this group called Akatsuki."

"I see, are they really that dangerous?" asked Gyuuki.

"I believe they intend to resurrect the juubi," answered Kurama.

"We need to let your container know too but... it's kind of awkward because I'm a Konoha shinobi and I don't know how he would react," explained Naruto.

"B is badass like you fool. Show him respect and give his fist a bump and you and he be friends to the dying day," rapped Gyuuki, holding out his own giant fist to Naruto.

Naruto raised an eyebrow in confusion at the fist. Shrugging once, he bumped his fist to Gyuuki's and suddenly it made sense to him. It was an acknowledgment of each other, that's all that really mattered.

"Yo, eight-o, what's the dealy-o?" asked another new comer.

"Eight-man meet Nine-man," offered Gyuuki, motioning to Naruto.

"Yo," said Naruto, holding out his fist.

Bee quirked an eyebrow in surprise at first but met his fist with a bump. "Mister Nine meets Mister Eight and together they be great," rapped Bee. It wasn't his best rap.

Naruto still chuckled anyway. "Nice to meet you too. The big furball behind me is Kurama.

"What's up foxy niner the kitsune, none finer," rapped Bee.

"Is that the best you got?" asked Kurama, completely deflating Bee.

"Yeah, Kurama's a badass, just like me," said Naruto proudly. "So anyway, we're here to talk to you about a group called Akatsuki."

"Them red-cloud mother fuckers?" asked Bee, shaking off the fact he was so easily dismissed.

"Yeah, those guys. Now I'm officially here as a bodyguard to Jiraiya of the sannin. We're officially trying to work with the raikage to deal them. But unofficially, I'm also here to try and reach you two and Matatabi and her jinchuuriki to warn you specifically about them. We've been warning all of the bijuu, trying to get them to partner up if they can or get extra protection and training," explained Naruto. "Due to how strained things are with Konoha and Kumo it's a huge risk to contact you guys like this but it's super important. Tell him Kurama."

"We believe that Akatsuki's overall goal is to resurrect the juubi. They have an Uchiha with them that wears an orange mask that is capable of controlling us, the bijuu. I am confident that he believes he'd be able to control the juubi also. Whether he succeeds or fails it means the death of all of the bijuu and their jinchuuriki. And worse, it may mean the end of everything else, and as much as I dislike mankind even they do not deserve such a fate as the juubi," explained Kurama.

"What do you say eight-o?" asked Bee.

"He's probably right. I've never known Kurama to be wrong about this kind of thing. He predicted that we'd eventually be captured and sealed in humans so it stands to reason he's right this time too," answered Gyuuki, sighing heavily as silence descended on the group.

"Anyway, now that you know, you could maybe help us with the raikage?" asked Naruto.

"I'll talk to my bro but you should know, he's an ass of epic skill," answered Bee.

"Yeah, A may actually get more pissed off that your were talking to us without his permission," said Gyuuki.

"Hey, you talked to me first," said Naruto defensively.

"As if he'd believe that," snorted Gyuuki.

"What if Bee happened to show up while they were meeting with the raikage?" offered Kurama.

"Mister nine is the fox with the plan," rapped Bee.

"Okay, so I'll let you know when we next meet with him," said Naruto. "How can I contact you?"

"We'll contact you every morning until you meet with him," said Gyuuki.

"We move for free, no watchers, no minders, no binders. Ain't nothin' stoppin' the eight-o," rapped Bee.

Aside from the rap that was starting to get annoying, Naruto liked the plan and agreed to it.

"Don't go looking for Matatabi. That bitch Yugito does not like Konoha. She'd run straight to the raikage. Let's get through this first meeting and see where we stand. It might end up being best for me and Bee to talk to the catty bitch."

"Can do," said Naruto with a mock salute.

"Later bro," said Bee. With another fist bump Gyuuki and Bee were both gone.

"I think that went well," said Kurama. "Now about that game?"

Naruto chuckled and the game of riddles resumed.