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Naruto: Shinobi Institute of Performance Analysis

Not every idea Orochimaru ever had was bad. When one of his mothballed programs gets refreshed by the Third how will the world change for Team 7 when they are given brutally honest evaluations of their skills, personalities and potentials. With this knowledge laid bare before them and their Sensei what do they do and how to they grow. STRAIGHT/NON-YAOI This is not my fanfic i just read it on fanfic*net and found it amazing so i am reposting it here the orginal authour is MaxFic check out the origonal fic on fanfic*net https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9145129/1/Naruto-Shinobi-Institute-of-Performance-Analysis

SirSleeplessBoi · Tranh châm biếm
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34 Chs

Chapter 23

"So where are we going first?" asked Naruto as he walked out of the gates flanked by Jiraiya and Kakashi.

"Mizu no Kuni," answered Jiraiya. "The sanbi has been sighted in a small lake on one of the smaller islands."

Kakashi froze in his step. "Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the sanbi currently unsealed?"

"You're not wrong," said Jiraiya as he continued to walk.

"Maybe I misheard you, did you say we're going after the sanbi? We're going to look for an unsealed bijuu?" asked Kakashi still not moving.

"Correct," said Jiraiya, accentuating each syllable.

"Okay... why?" asked Kakashi.

"We're going to warn it," said Jiraiya.

"Okay... how?" asked Kakashi.

"Kurama," said Jiraiya as if it was the simplest answer ever.

"Ah," said Kakashi, "I see." Kakashi then reopened his book and followed along behind Jiraiya and Naruto.

"He seems to have taken that pretty well," said Naruto, looking at Jiraiya.

"Nah, he's scared shitless right now," said Jiraiya. "He just hides it well."

"Huh, never would have guessed," said Naruto.

Jiraiya's eyes suddenly narrowed and peered into the surrounding forest. "Gaki, give us a perimeter."

Naruto frowned for a moment but did as he was told. "You see something?"

"Felt someone watching us," said Jiraiya. "He's run for it but I don't like it."

"Root?" asked Kakashi.

"Don't think so, this was too sloppy for them," said Jiraiya.

"Orochimaru?" asked Kakashi, his nose still buried in his book.

"Possibly," said Jiraiya. "Sloppy enough that's for sure. Could have been another village though too."

"Do we try to hunt him down then?" asked Naruto.

"No, he didn't attack us so we don't really have much cause to chase him down," said Jiraiya.

"Trespassing?" asked Naruto.

"Nah, if he really wants to mess with us it's his funeral," said Jiraiya confidently.

Naruto shrugged and continued walking along side them in silence.

"So kid, once we get to Mizu no Kuni, we'll probably spend a few months exploring. I've got to check my contacts and we've got a bijuu and a jinchuuriki to find there. We'll get plenty of training time while we're at it," explained Jiraiya.

"Don't we need permission to do that?" asked Naruto.

"We're not going anywhere near Kirigakure so we should be okay as long as we don't start shit with them," said Jiraiya.

"Okay," said Naruto with a shrug. He trusted both of his sensei. "Is it okay if I train a bit while we move?"

"Save your energy, gaki. You can practice once we make camp. For now, let's pick up the pace," said Jiraiya leaping up into the tree canopy followed closely by Kakashi sans porn.

Naruto jumped up with them and followed behind.

A week later the trio was on a small boat about to make land at an island that was rumored to have been where the sanbi was hiding out.

"Cheerful place, eh?" asked Naruto as he looked at the fog that hung over the island.

"Yep, a real vacation spot if I've ever seen one," said Kakashi, his face not leaving his porn.

They made land minutes later.

"Make sure you idiots tie off the boat," said Jiraiya as he scanned the swampy forest ahead of them.

Naruto waved the old man off as he tied off the small boat they rented.

"Gaki, send out a few waves of clones, find any lakes... hell, watch out for people too while you're at it," said Jiraiya.

"Naruto, tie off the boat. Naruto, make camp. Naruto, carry the bags. Naruto, find me women to perv on. Since when am I a slave?" Naruto continued to grumble while he followed orders.

"You're a chuunin, we're both jounin. It's one of the benefits of rank," said Kakashi.

"Make camp while you're at it. We'll stay near shore and our boat just to be safe," added Jiraiya.

Naruto's glare went unacknowledged by either of the men while they both scanned the forest and the shore.

Naruto heard something cutting through the sand before he saw the first grains of sand shift. "Fuuton: atsugai no jutsu!" he shouted urgently as he jumped away from the emerging sword. The torrent of wind that burst from his mouth spinning like a ball of tornado-like winds as it traveled, hit the sand where the sword emerged blowing away most of the sand and revealing three people that were previously hiding underneath.

"Orochimaru-teme, it's been a long time, ne?" asked Jiraiya. He stood next to Kakashi with his arms crossed glaring.

Kakashi sighed and put his book away. "I suppose I should take this seriously." He then pulled up headband unveiling his sharingan eye.

Naruto landed just behind the pair in a ready stance.

"Juugo, you will kill the white haired man. He's the one that killed Kimimaro," lied Orochimaru.

"You? You took him away from me," said the boy, almost as a whisper. His wild eyes and snarling lips told a different story. He threw a punch in Jiraiya's direction and his arm mutated and extended toward him with his fist transforming into an anvil.

Jiraiya's eyes widened barely as he quickly threw up an arm to block the blow that would probably shatter his arm in the process.

Juugo's anvil hand hit an invisible wall with clang and the sound of breaking glass as it stopped cold.

"Holy shit, what is that guy?" asked Naruto as his barrier shattered.

"I don't know," said Jiraiya, just before he had to retreat from the spot he was previously standing in.

Juugo gave chase to Jiraiya as the man was forced back into the forest area.

"One down," said Orochimaru coldly. "Kabuto, you will be taking care of Kakashi-kun. Young Naruto-kun and I have some business to attend to."

"Naruto-kun," said Kakashi, "don't hesitate. Kill him if you can but do not under any circumstance hold back. Jiraiya-sama and I will deal with our targets as fast as we can."

"Please, Orochimaru-teme will be dead before either of you finish yours," said Naruto, the slight quiver in his voice gave him away much to his annoyance.

"Good, when he's dead you can come help me first, deal?" asked Kakashi.

"Deal," said Naruto. He couldn't help smirking, Kakashi had given him a little confidence booster.

Kakashi and Kabuto both vanished. In the distance the sounds of Jiraiya doing battle could be heard.

"So, you got beef, huh?" asked Naruto as he let a little of Kurama's chakra leak into his system.

"I suppose you could say that," said Orochimaru. He ignored Naruto completely while looking skyward and pushed a sword out of his mouth.

Naruto didn't hesitate to jet forward inside Orochimaru's guard and drill a rasengan into his stomach causing him to explode in a rain of mud.

Naruto formed a chain instantly over his shoulder to block a downward slash of Orochimaru's sword. Another chain shot out of his back in an attempt to impale Orochimaru. It was another mud clone that dissolved as the spear tip on the chain tore through the false body.

Naruto was suddenly gut stabbed from below. Orochimaru rose out of the ground with the sword pushing out the other side of Naruto. "Kukuku, you never really stood a chance."

Naruto smiled with blood at the corners of his mouth. "Really? I could have told you that. But I'll tell you what, I'm going to hurt you along the way." The impaled Naruto began to glow and then detonated.

Orochimaru leaped backwards and away but it didn't prevent him from getting scorched by the explosion.

"Clever little fox," said Orochimaru. He was clearly displeased. And suddenly he was rapidly dodging as chains began bursting through the ground all around him trying to kill him.

Orochimaru jumped high into the air and came down with an earth shattering ax kick forcing Naruto out of the ground where he'd been hiding.

"Katon: gokakyu no jutsu," said Orochimaru spitting a large fireball at Naruto.

"Doton: doryuheki no jutsu," said Naruto as he slapped his hands on the ground causing a wall of earth to burst up from the ground and block the fireball.

Naruto quickly rolled to his left to dodge the sword blade as it burst through the quickly constructed earth wall.

"Son of a bitch," mumbled Naruto as he was now rapidly dodging sword swipes or blocking them with his chakra chains.

Orochimaru finally over extended with a sword stab and Naruto was able to slice his sword arm badly with one of his chains only for the man to dissolve into mud again.

The slight crunch of earth beneath his feet had him moving quickly as Orochimaru once again burst from the ground.

"You're not bad. It's too bad you won't live long enough to find out just how good you can really be," said Orochimaru. The murderous gleam in his eyes did not bode well for Naruto.

"You're okay," said Naruto. "I can see why jiji didn't think you were worth the effort of killing back in the day." Naruto could not hide the smirk on his face despite having to duck, dodge, and dive away from the now very angry Orochimaru.

Orochimaru saw red at the comment by the boy. The stupid boy that thought he was allowed to taunt a sannin. The ignorant soon-to-be dead boy had managed to really piss him off.

Orochimaru's eyes widened as his chest was suddenly pierced. He looked down only to see a slight shimmering that suddenly faded to reveal another chain.

"Kusari no sakkaku (chains of illusion)," said Naruto coldly as he watched the life leave Orochimaru's eyes.

Naruto pushed the dead body away from himself as he breathed a sigh of relief. Then Orochimaru's body twitched.

"Fuck," said Naruto. He quickly began hand seals as Orochimaru's body started twitching violently. Then a sword pierce out of the dead body's stomach and cut a line along the body before sinking inside again. Then two hands emerged and pulled the skin apart as an unharmed Orochimaru slowly crawled out of it.

"Fuuinjutsu: issenhi no gokusha (one thousand days of prison)," said Naruto as he place his hands on the ground. A line of symbols surrounded the still emerging Orochimaru. Then the symbols rotated through the air leaving lines behind as it moved creating more and more lines until all that was visible was a continuous orbiting lines of seals. Naruto breathed a giant sigh of relief as he fell backwards breathing heavily.

"I hope I don't ever have to see him again," said Naruto as he climbed back to his feet. He pulled on a little of Kurama's chakra to refresh himself and his reserves.

Jiraiya landed next to him suddenly looking much worse for wear. "You actually got him?"

"I sure as hell hope so," said Naruto looking at his seal.

"How many days?" asked Jiraiya as he inspected the work.

"One thousand days," said Naruto. "He should die before that time expires right?"

"I sure as hell hope so," said Jiraiya, slapping a hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"He really underestimated me," said Naruto. "I got him with a kusari no sakkaku. First time I've ever gotten the damned thing to work on my own. He died but then his body started twitching and I just wasn't going to take any chances, especially when he started to climb out of the stomach of his dead body. I just got lucky as hell, didn't I?"

"You have no idea. And I wouldn't put it past Orochimaru to find a way out of that thing in a few days, maybe months if we're really lucky," said Jiraiya.

"What happened to your guy?"

"Sealed him too, nothing as complex as yours but he'll be out of it for a few weeks at least, sealed him in a pleasure illusion trap," said Jiraiya.

"We should probably help Kakashi now," said Naruto looking to the south where Kakashi went.

"I would expect Kakashi has him handled and if we were to interfere now, Kabuto would probably flee and ruin all our hard work."

Naruto chuckled, "I have an idea."

"Why does that laugh make me nervous?"

"Let's go kill us a traitor," said Naruto, cracking his knuckles.

"Okay kid, I'm trusting you here," said Jiraiya as he ran in the direction Kakashi was fighting.

Naruto spawned a few clones, all of which ran in their own directions left and right of where Kakashi was fighting. Naruto then ran towards the fight as well.

BREAK

"One down," said Orochimaru coldly. "Kabuto, you will be taking care of Kakashi-kun. Young Naruto-kun and I have some business to attend to."

"Naruto-kun," said Kakashi, "don't hesitate. Kill him if you can but do not under any circumstance hold back. Jiraiya-sama and I will deal with our targets as fast as we can."

"Please, Orochimaru-teme will be dead before either of you finish yours," said Naruto.

Kakashi could hear the nerves in his voice. "Good, when he's dead you can come help me first, deal?" asked Kakashi.

"Deal," said Naruto, he smirked.

Below his mask he smirked slightly himself, Naruto needed the little confidence booster.

Kakashi looked down the beach communicating to Kabuto where they were going without words.

Both men used shunshin to get down the beach quickly.

"So, what did my cute little genin do to make your boss so angry?" asked Kakashi. He knew exactly what happened but it never hurt to get his opponent talking.

"He interfered one time too many," said Kabuto. "Now tell me, why were you so cooperative with us? We separated all of you very easily."

"Did you? Hmm, I suppose you did," said Kakashi, rubbing his face through his mask. "But it doesn't really matter. I am not worried about you or either of the other two. You made a very critical mistake in trying to attack us at all."

"You think me weak because of my role as a spy?" asked Kabuto.

"Not at all, I know you're jounin level at least," said Kakashi calmly. "But you're not even close to my level."

"We'll see," said Kabuto, narrowing his eyes. His hands lit up in an erie white glow.

"Chakra no mesu (chakra scalpels)," said Kakashi, feigning a yawn. "So predictable."

Kabuto attacked first. He charged forward and attempted to engage Kakashi in a taijutsu battle. Kabuto smirked when he got a hold on Kakashi's wrist only for the man to disperse into a puddle of water. "Why does everyone use clones like that? It's so boring."

"Why mess with what works?" asked a whispered voice in Kabuto's ear.

Kakashi slammed a fist into the side of the man's face. Kabuto bounced off the sand and rolled several meters before coming back to his feet, a large welt already forming on his cheek.

Kabuto glared at Kakashi annoyed.

Kakashi didn't react beyond shrugging. "You left an opening. Did you really think I wouldn't capitalize?"

Kabuto clicked his tongue in annoyance. "You're not taking me seriously." He then faded from existence like a mirage.

Under Kakashi's feet two hands burst through the ground and grabbed his ankles only for Kakashi to burst into water again.

Kakashi reappeared standing on the water. "Suiton: suiryudan no jutsu," Kakashi murmured as a giant dragon of water snaked up from the water around him and then charged at the ground Kabuto inhabited.

The water dragon impacted the beach causing sand to fly in every direction but not hit its intended target.

Kabuto jumped away as quickly as he could from the impact point then he felt two arms wrap around his waist from behind him. His eyes widened as he was bodily lifted up and over to be suplexed into an exposed tree root at the edge of the beach.

Kakashi released his hold and created as much separation as he could. That attack would not keep Kabuto down.

Kabuto sprung back to his feet, a line of blood trailing down his forehead and his silvery hair slowing turning blood red. "I'm going to kill you," said Kabuto. "Orochimaru-sama will forgive me, I'm sure."

"Oh, so Orochimaru-teme wants me alive? Whatever for?"

"He wants you to suffer knowing your sensei's son died on your watch. And when you're finally so broken you want to die, he's going to steal that sharingan eye of yours for himself just to make you suffer more," explained Kabuto.

Kabuto barely dodged the electrically charged knife hand strike from Kakashi even though the electricity of it gave him quite the jolt. "Did I hit a nerve? Afraid of failing them like you failed Obito? Or maybe you're afraid you'll have to kill him like you did that girl of yours, Rin was her name, wasn't it?"

Kakashi's entire demeanor shifted in that moment. He wasn't enraged or angry. He was calm and quiet like the grave. "I suppose you would cross that line. Though I do wonder what Nono-san would say about the man you've become."

"Don't speak that name to me," said Kabuto.

"I knew her you know, back in my ANBU days," said Kakashi. "Total freak in bed."

Kabuto attacked in a rage.

Kakashi was easily able to dodge the exaggerated attacks from Kabuto. It was nothing to toy with the man now. "I heard she retired and turned her orphanage into a child sex brothel. Makes sense I guess, she always did like them young. I mean I was only thirteen when she first had her way with me."

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!" shouted Kabuto, completely enraged as he slammed his hand into the ground. The snake that appeared was easily the size of a small house. "Kill him and I'll give you a hundred sacrifices."

"My pleasure," hissed the snake.

Kakashi shook his head as the snake struck straight ahead. A simple side-step and a lightning flow charged kunai allowed Kakashi to gut the snake in one move.

"It figures you'd like playing with snakes. I remember this one mission with Nono-san where she found some free time. Anyway, she found this snake and had it slither up her ass, she finished the mission like that, constantly having orgasm after orgasm. So hot but still such a freak. I'm guess Orochimaru-teme regularly slithers up you ass, huh?"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" screamed Kabuto. He was completely losing his grip on reality.

"You know, I think some of Jiraiya-sama's characters in Icha Icha Arashi-ki (storm season) may have been based on his time spent with that sexual deviant. I'm sure chapters were there just for her. I'll have to check again but I think the dedication in that book may have even been to her?" Kakashi continued taunting the boy who crossed a line.

"You're going to die," said Kabuto softly, his eyes shadowed and dead looking. "I will be the one to kill you."

"Hmm, did you say something?" asked Kakashi.

Kabuto started laughing, softly at first and then growing louder and louder until he was just screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Put him out of his misery," interrupted the voice of Jiraiya as he landed next to Kakashi.

"I suppose," said Kakashi lowering his headband back over his sharingan eye. "I'm guessing Orochimaru is dead?"

"Good as," said Jiraiya.

Kabuto seemed to snap out of his ravings at hearing Orochimaru was dead or dying. "No, I still need him. I will kill you Kakashi but right now Orochimaru-sama needs me," said Kabuto. He tried to run only to run into an invisible wall and get electrocuted. He fell to the ground smoking and twitching.

"I didn't think that would work so good," said Naruto landing next to Kakashi. "I really like that denki shoheki no jutsu (electric barrier) you taught me Kakashi-sensei."

"Nicely done. I only saw a few sparks in the air giving it away," said Kakashi. He slowly walked up to the twitching and down Kabuto. A quick snap later, Kabuto's neck was broken and he lay dead.

"Well, now that all this fun is done, should we make camp for the night? I'm in no shape to meet the sanbi," said Kakashi with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, may as well," said Jiraiya. "I'm pretty banged up myself right now."

BREAK

Naruto stood before Kurama's prison waiting for his friend to answer him.

"Isobu seems sick," said Kurama opening his eyes. "She is only newly recovered from the death of her previous container."

"Is there anything we can do for her?" asked Naruto.

"She has been hiding here while she continues her recovery. It will be years before she has enough strength to properly protect herself," explained Kurama.

"Could you give her some of your chakra to help her recover a little faster?" asked Naruto.

"I could, but it would be very dangerous," said Kurama. "I will see if I can convince her to allow it." He closed his eyes once more to communicate telepathically with his sister.

Naruto waited patiently for Kurama to respond once again.

Finally after what felt like hours, Kurama opened his eyes again. "She will allow it but only you and only if you take my form. We will work together once again but only because you are helping my sibling. Don't think this means I accept you or even like you or your stench."

"I understand. Thanks for helping us out, Kurama," said Naruto cheerfully.

Naruto opened his eyes to an expectant Jiraiya and Kakashi.

"What's the verdict?" asked Jiraiya.

"Isobu will talk to me," said Naruto. "But I have to take Kurama's full form and help heal her so she can better defend herself against being sealed again."

"Isn't that a little too risky?" asked Kakashi.

"Nah, I trust Kurama to keep me safe from his sister. Besides, she's weak right now," said Naruto as he spawned nine long chains and began pumping out Kurama's chakra to cloak them and himself. Moments later Naruto was raised into the air as he chains formed a skeletal structure for Kurama's body and ended with the formation of nine tails.

"That is a terrifying sight," said Kakashi with a shiver.

"Yeah, let's just be glad he's on our side," said Jiraiya with a matching shiver.

"I'll be back shortly," said Naruto from the maw that was Kurama's mouth.

The earth shook as Naruto walked towards Isobu's hiding place. As he reached the edge of the lake the surface began to churn violently as Isobu began to surface.

"Brother, you look different," she joked weakly.

"Kurama says to stop being a bitch and just say 'thank you, oh great and mighty Kurama-sama', his words, not mine," explained Naruto.

Isobu chuckled causing waves to splash about in the lake. "It seems my big brother has relaxed a little bit in his old age. Thank you oh great and mighty Kurama-sama." There was no shortage of sarcasm.

"He said he accepts your gratitude but if you ever call him old again he'll devour you and your essence. I don't think he caught the sarcasm," said Naruto with a light chuckle.

"What is your name human? How have you calmed my brother so?"

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I don't think I've calmed him much at all but I guess he works with me cause I treat him like a friend. He's still an asshole, believe me. But it doesn't change the fact I think of him as a friend first and an asshole second."

Isobu laughed once more. "You're good for him. Anyway, he says you want to warn me about some pathetic humans that want to capture me and my siblings. In my weakened state it may be possible and with my brothers and sisters all imprisoned in weak humans it may happen but I highly doubt it."

Naruto was nervous about his counter argument. So far Isobu had been somewhat pleasant to talk to but he knew full well she could change in an instant. "And yet you have been captured and sealed away before, no? Your last container was Yagura right?"

"You are brave to remind me of such things little human," said Isobu. Her voice was colder than before.

"I worry for your safety. Anyone who would seek to control you and all of your brothers and sisters cannot be a good thing. I just wanted to warn you so that you might stay safe. To that end, Kurama is going to help restore you to full strength so that you can better protect yourself."

"A human worrying for me? I am the sanbi. I have lived thousands of years and will live thousands more. What chance do you think any human has against me?"

"You're being stubborn for the sake of your pride," said Naruto, getting annoyed.

"Pride is all I have left to me. Now heal me and be gone with you."

Naruto sighed. A tendril of Kurama's chakra snaked out of the body and into Isobu's. It didn't take long before Kurama's chakra retreated from a much healthier looking bijuu.

"Our business is concluded. Now leave me," demanded Isobu as she sunk back into the lake.

Naruto frowned but turned away and walked back to camp slowly recalling Kurama's chakra and his chains such that when he stepped into camp it was just himself.

"So, how did it go gaki?" asked Jiraiya.

"Okay I guess. She was stubborn as hell," said Naruto. "She should at least have enough strength to defend herself now. At least I hope she does."

"It's the best you can hope for, it's the best we can all hope for when it comes to all of the jinchuuriki for that matter. For now, get some sleep. We'll head out in the morning. My last lead on Utakata is a few days travel from here."

"Utakata is the rokubi container right?"

"According to my sources, yes he is," said Jiraiya.

"Do you have any information on him?" asked Kakashi, putting his book away.

"He's aloof, is currently being hunted by oinin for killing his master, and he uses shabondama jutsu (soap bubble)."

"Is there such a thing?" asked Naruto.

"Yes, and don't underestimate it. His bubbles can cause explosions, release toxic gases, and allow him to fly or float, I'm not sure which really. Either way it makes him a formidable opponent. Then you add in the rokubi. He's a very dangerous opponent," explained Jiraiya.

"We'll be ready," said Naruto. With that he stood and walked over to his tent and climbed inside for the night.

"He's really grown," said Kakashi. "If I'm not careful, he'll be stronger than me soon."

"He outsmarted Orochimaru-teme. He might already be stronger than both of us just based on his luck alone," said Jiraiya.

BREAK

When Orochimaru finally climbed out of his dead body he found himself surrounded by white. It wasn't cloudy or obscured in any way. It was just whiteness. There was white ground to stand on but it could have been glass for all he knew.

"What genjutsu is this?" he demanded as he tried repeatedly to break it.

He tried to get range on his dead body as he ran away from it only to find himself running towards it. He looked behind him to see the body in the distance then looked forward to see the body at his feet.

"When I get out of this, I swear that boy will die in the most painful way I can imagine."