Breaking Down?!?!

Chapter 106

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Yami POV  (MC)

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I am just looking at some paperwork that my clones brought me. I am waiting for Guy to return from his D rank mission of taking care of some bear that has been terrorising a Village. Then I hear an alarm clock go on inside the house. I just give a mental command and the clock is turned off. Fuinjutsu is the most versatile thing I have learned ever since I came to this world.

Anyway at least Guy is not dead or in danger. I have a seal on him that if he is in danger or dead it will notify me… anyway… Guy has just been taught the 8th gate technique… and I already copied it…

Then I force my chakra through the gates. 

1st gate open, 2nd gate open, 3rd gate open, 4th gate open, 5th gate open, 6th gate open, 7th gate OPEN…

*Boom*

My body is immediately flooded with chakra continuously destroying and repairing itself… but still I can't use any Jutsu,  because of the rampant chakra inside of me, I can still heal myself with the Jiongu. Afterall the Jiongu is not really a Jutsu in the typical way. It is more like a parasite that I control… 

Then after a couple of minutes I close all of the gates… and…

*fwosh*

My body started releasing steam and healing itself… and that is it for my daily training… in about four to five years my body will be at its best shape… after that I will stop the aging in my body… *sigh*... in my last world immortality was a dream that I gave up on for my family… sometimes I really wonder how they are doing… do they have enough money now that I am dead… we already were very poor… I really hope that they are ok...

Then I feel something wet pall down from my eyes… when I touch it with my hand… I see so I am crying… even though I can suppress my feelings… I have been doing so for seventeen years… I really am lonely… everyone here will kill each other for the Village… they will kill their own families like Itachi did just for the 'Village'..... WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO EVEN MEAN…

I immediately calm down… *sigh*... as expected I have started to 'burst'... before I was so worried about surviving in this world, because of that I spent every moment planning and scheming that my feelings and fun came second.

Now that I have immortality I have free time… that means my mind has the time to wander onto things like this… 

Then since… my emotions are getting the better of me… 

I immediately put a full barrier around my house forbidding anyone or anything from coming in. Then I make a water clone and have him go outside to tell anyone that wants to come in that I am busy doing a critical experiment or something like that. 

I won't send a shadow clone since he might also be affected by my feelings.

Then I also put an anti spy barrier all around.

My face immediately gets a cold look… and I fall into my knees… my breathing gets heavier… cold sweat surrounds my body tears wouldn't stop coming out of my eyes and falling into the ground… my heart was beating so fast that it almost hurt… I grab my chest and fall into the ground… even while being overwhelmed by emotions there still existed that calculating side that… kept saying that I am just having a panic attack.

DAMN IT… DAMN IT… DAMN IT…

Why can't I calm down… I need to calm down… I need a release…. I just start punching the ground… with my raw strength...

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After some minutes I just lay down in the crater that I created into my backyard… crying silently… in a more controlled way… 

Damn… I guess I really am lonely… I just point my hand upwards as if to grab the sky… 

This must never happen again… I need a release state… or I am going to start doing irrational things and letting my emotions lead me… they are a part of me so I would never get rid of them but… I need a way to take care of them…

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After thinking about it for some time… I finally got an idea… my eyes morph into the sharingan… since I am calmer now I summon two shadow clones to take care of me just in case.

<Genjutsu Sharingan: Self Hypnosis 1000 Happy Memories>

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*fwosh*

I look at the world around me… I see that it is my apartment where my family used to live… 

I know this is a lie… and I know that I am in a genjutsu that I could break out of whenever I want but… I guess I will truly rest… after seventeen years of wearing a mask… I can let go…

I guess spending some time with the real family is good…

I open the door to the kitchen. I see my little brother with his blond hair and brown eyes just drawing. He was always worthless, he liked comparing himself to me. I was his role model. Though I know and he knows that I know that he is jealous of me. I truly did portray myself as perfect in front of him. 

I just smile and go forward… he stops drawing and looks towards me. He smiles and says. "Hey brother do you want to play D&D with me."

Unlike that annoyance that I felt in my first life when my little brother used to ask this... I just smile a little while saying. "Sure let's play a little then."

I just go towards the fridge to get some snacks... I open up the fridge and see there are a lot of food  in it. Yeah this is not real… our fridge was always almost empty...

I grab a couple of drinks as I hear my little brother say. "I will be an elf archer named…."

I never liked playing D&D with him… but now I guess I will get what I can...

Even while thinking all that... for the first time in a long time... a truly happy smile appeared on my face.

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AUTHOR NOTE:

(I know that this might seem out of character for the MC. But if you have read his backstory in the Webnovel Auxiliary Chapters. You will know that his first life story was quite a tragedy and he truly loved people before he died and even gave up his dream to Immortality (that he got from seeing loved people around him dying from big things to small things like just a small rat bite.)

(He truly cares for his first life family and him acting for 17 years he… had a crack appear on his mask. Since he also kept the people here far away and didn't care about any of them. He can't give up one family just to have another. For someone like him a  person can only have one family that is why he doesn't trust anyone in this world. They would kill family for something like a village. For him even if the whole world is to torture in hell he wouldn't care as long as his family is OK.

He chooses and will always choose his first life family. His love is psychotic and twisted but in a way also true he will never care if his real family is rich, poor, evil or good… they will always be his one and only family… he will never abandon them just because he got Reborn in another so called 'family.' Even if his first world family could be people that torture and eat babies for fun he… would still love them… no matter what.)

P.S: Yami will still be cold and cruel like always. He won't be changing. He just had his inevitable 'burst.'

P.P.S: Also does anyone know some type of reference with HolyJoker and HolySaintJoe... a comment asked me in the last chapter about it... I didn't get the reference... I am disappointed in myself. I googled it but I only got some Christian stuff about it...

P.P.P.S: In patrėon Yami and Hachi have already met..🤣