46

045 - Cooking kouhai, dinner with friends

It's only after Rin finally surrendered that we realized how long our little scuffle actually took. By the time we got back inside, we had worked up an appetite and Sakura was almost done with dinner so, while Rin and Illya sulkily walked into the kitchen to assist Sakura with the finishing touches, everyone else sat at the table to enjoy some snacks in (un)comfortable silence while the actual food came out.

And what a picture we made sitting there!

The number of residents in the small wing of the Ryuudou Temple we're using has been steadily growing ever since we moved in and on top of that we have guests today. First Jackie, then Medusa and Ayako, and now four new additions all of the sudden. Add to it that Medea decided she wouldn't miss this for anything and left the safety of her workshop to join us at the table and we wouldn't have fit on our normal dining table even if we took turns to eat.

Fortunately the support squad had it covered. Under Sakura's supervision, Ecchan moved all the furniture in the living room to make room for a long mantled table so we could all sit together while we were (working off some stress) duking it out with our assailants .

A manteled table I have no idea where came from, by the way… best not to think too hard about it.

Archer seemed to take the bizarre development in stride, maintaining her stoic demeanor while (stuffing her face with fries) cooly enjoying the offered refreshments, but Berserker doesn't look anywhere near as comfortable. She's constantly sending wary looks all around the room while clutching Jackie like a lifeline.

Ah… Jackie has decided that her seat tonight will be Atalanta's lap because, and I quote literally: 'We won! So we get to be cuddled by the floofy cat lady!'. She seems to be on cloud nine with the other Servant's arms around her shoulders as she alternates between blissfully closing her eyes to enjoy the situation and sending me smug looks that I can't bring myself to begrudge.

The only one who didn't seem too enthused with this development was Illya, but losers don't get to complain. She had to leave for the kitchen anyway.

"So…" Mitsuzuri trails off hesitantly, addressing our guests for the night. "You warriors of legend too?"

"Archer." Altera answers with a small nod before reaching for the fries bowl to (stuff her face again) keep sampling the product.

"Berserker." Atalanta pipes in brusquely, which is admittedly still more consideration that I was expecting from her.

"Ah… right, you need to keep your names hidden or something." Ayako mumbles with an apologetic chuckle. "Geez, that's gotta be inconvenient."

"A bit." Altera nods after carefully chewing the snack and already reaching for a different plate. Geez, this girl will become either fast friends with Ecchan or her bitter rival. "Archer works just fine."

Atalanta doesn't say anything else out loud, simply grunting in agreement.

The sour look of the Berserker gets utterly ruined a moment later, when Jackie decides her warm and cuddly seat deserves a treat and feeds her some dried jerky. Atalanta blinks in surprise a whopping total of once before snatching the morsel straight out of Jackie's fingers with her mouth. Then Jackie tries to scratch her chin..

I tense in alarm at this, noting that Medea reacts pretty much in the same way from the corner of my eye. No matter how mild-tempered a Berserker Atalanta makes, if there's something that'll get her combat instincts off is having someone whose entire legend is about assassinating women reach for her vital areas like that.

We have failsafes in place in case this dinner goes to hell and violence ensues, only a fool would invite nominal enemies into their home without that much preparation but, considering the situation Jackie is in right now, it'll take a well-timed Command Spell to pull her away from danger before she's torn to ribbons.

Jackie can be a smug little shit at times, but I'd rather arm-wrestle Herakles than let her get–

There's… It's maybe the adrenaline flooding my system from the sudden scare, sharpening my reactions against something that fails to materialize, or maybe just plain old incredulity, but… I can distinctly feel a gear inside my brain skid against nothing when Atalanta's reaction to having Jack the Ripper reach for her neck is to lean back to give her better access and start purring! Is this really the animalistic and barely rational version of the prickly and aloof Chaste Hunter? Geez, her personality really shifts around children.

On the other hand, this answers one of my questions from earlier. Atalanta can, indeed, purr when sufficiently pleased.

I trade a surprised look with Medea, who gives me a small shrug and an I-should-have-known kind of sheepish smile. I guess this isn't actually surprising, coming from Atalanta? Or maybe some weird echoes of what happened in the Apocrypha timeline between her and Jackie are somehow affecting their current interactions?

Experiences acquired by Servants during a manifestation aren't supposed to endure into further summons, but if Fate/Grand Order is to be believed, this isn't an absolute truth.

Well, I was considering revealing that we already know the two Servants' names to make everything simpler and maybe ease the mood a bit, but this works just as well.

Besides, how does one go around revealing their knowledge of virtual humanoid avatars of civilization-consuming comets existing only within a massive supercomputer from an alternate universe? Guess I could downplay it and 'mistake' Altera for Attila the Hun instead, but then I would be wrong!

Yeah, having the whole table watch in bemusement as the two catgirls -the literal one and the metaphorical one- interact works just as well to improve the mood. Even better, actually. Not everyone appreciates the sheer wonder of watching me being a smug smartass, but everyone likes cats.

"Ehem… Senpai?" Sakura calls out, head peeking through the door. "Could you come to the kitchen for a minute? Dinner is ready, but we're going to need some help serving it."

"Of course!" I stand from my seat cheerfully, feeling no small amount of curiosity at the request. It's not everyday I'm actually asked for help in this house, after all. "Now, that is it you need my hel– Oh."

The question dies on my lips as soon as I step into the kitchen, the answer obvious. Blindfolded, with their mouths creatively gagged with a couple of tiny apples, feet tied together and hands bound behind their backs, Rin and Illya lay on top of the table, flat on their backs.

Wearing only sashimi and garnish.

I have to admit that this is a bit more… extreme than what I had in mind when I sent these two to help Sakura around.

"I just need a hand taking the dishes to the table, Senpai." Sakura smiles beatifically, drying her hands on her apron. "I could do it myself, but it might take a while."

"Woe is me, used as a glorified packmule." I wave her worries, taking my time to examine the work of art in front of me. Perfectly layered slices of raw fish, color-coordinated and adorned with different garnishes. "That's a very beautiful composition, by the way… Is that guacamole?"

I feel Rin's body stiffen when I lean closer to take a look. As she takes a deep breath, causing everything to shift in place, I note how the sashimi slices are layered in such a way that we'll need to start eating on the outer edges and work our way towards her naughty places or risk running the composition. The navel will almost inevitably be uncovered first, though it'll be up to us diners to decide whether to expose her breasts or crotch first.

"I find it a refreshing change from the traditional wasabi and soy sauce." She explains herself, looking a bit defensive about her choice. "And I wanted something special for tonight."

"Well, it's special alright." I see why she might get defensive about it. The flavor of the guacamole will overwhelm the taste of the cuts if one isn't very careful with the dosage. And at that point one might as well use raw cod instead of quality fish. This dish would be wasted on the general public. "Good thinking there."

Fortunately, our house is full of gourmets. I can see this becoming a smashing hit. I let out a humming sound out of approval, causing the platter girls to shiver a bit. They both stubbornly keep their bodily reactions tame and under control though, refusing to drop anything or otherwise fail in their assigned role. The role of a platter.

It would be hilarious if they weren't… well, very beautiful girls naked underneath a layer of finely prepared food. I can't wait to sink my teeth into them.

"Thank you, Senpai. I worked very hard on it."

"I can see it." I nod, forcing myself to drag my attention away from Rin and Illya to give Sakura a mischievous smile. "Been planning this for a while, haven't you?"

She doesn't answer, looking away with embarrassment and probably imagining I don't approve of her petty revenge. I disabuse her of the notion by putting a hand on her head and rubbing it gently. Sakura has some pretty deep grudges -some of them even legitimate- she needs to work through. Considering the circumstances, a bit of a mean punishment on deserving targets that doesn't go beyond embarrassment is an acceptable outlet.

"Well, I can't complain about the results." I chuckle, giving her head a couple of soft pats before releasing her to [Project] a tray cart. "Just don't make it a habit, okay?"

As I carefully move the platter girls from the kitchen table to the cart, I can't help but smile in anticipation. This is going to be fun.

"Well… that was fun." I comment as I watch the figures of Rin and Illya hurriedly walk away until they disappear into the city. Then I turn towards my left, where Medea stands beside me. "So… how bad was the actual damage on the Temple from that [Photon Ray]?"

"It utterly destroyed everything on its path, Master." She answers, palming the side of her face in consternation. "Even ignoring my attempts to twist space to redirect it.

I can't help but wince at that. I mean, it was to be expected, but I had hoped… "Then it destroyed the foundation for real?"

"Fortunately, the foundation wasn't as resistant to my attempts of twisting space." Medea assuages my worries, letting the smug smirk that she was obviously holding back take shape on her lips. "I'll put everything back into place later."

"Huh… I guess that's a way to go about it." If you can't deflect the attack, make it miss by moving the target. "Brilliant."

"You are too kind, Master." She takes the praise graciously, letting her smirk turn into something softer and warmer. "Now, Sakura confided to me earlier that she had… plans for tonight. Plans I'm sure you don't want to miss."

"I'll make sure to find her, thanks for the heads up. Do you know whether Haku will be joining us?"

"I'm fairly sure Haku will have… her own entertainment tonight." She answers with a sigh. "All this animation around and this poor old lady has nobody to keep her company. It's almost enough to make me feel jealous."

"Don't say that, Princess." I roll my eyes at the blatant fishing for praise as I wrap an arm around her waist. "You are a beautiful woman in the prime of her life."

"And yet I'll be sleeping alone tonight." She continues with a blatantly exaggerated put-upon tone. "No, don't let me get in the way of your fun. I know when I'm no longer needed."

"Don't worry Mama!" Jackie's cheerful voice comes out from right between us as she forces her way into our embrace by materializing herself directly there. "We'll sleep with you tonight!"

"Thank you sweetie." "It's good to know I can always count on you."

I can only roll my eyes again at their antics. I have to go find Sakura and see what she had planned for tonight…

…

… But I guess we can stay like this a bit longer before I leave, the night is young.

Tohsaka Rin

By the time we get back home after that clusterfuck of an attack I'm… I cannot claim to be back to normal, but the fresh air has certainly helped me to cool down a bit and get my mortification (and arousal) under control. Stupid Emiya-kun, stupid punishments, stupid hormones, stupid faulty Westermarck Effect, stupid sexy Sakura!

And when the hell did Mitsuzuri even become aware of the Moonlit World? She's going to be insufferable tomorrow!

There's a lot I'm willing to do in the name of winning the Holy Grail War, but tonight was stretching it! (Even if it was also pretty hot.)

There's also a bit of a… deeper issue involved.

That place was… it felt… I shake my head in frustration, trying and failing to put my turbulent emotions into words. The mood had been warm, and I don't just mean that in the sexual way. The way they interacted with each other, that they chatted about nothing and everything in spite of their very different personalities and interests…

It had been a family that sat around that haphazardly put together dinner table. That place felt like a real home.

And, in spite of being right there, of being the unfortunate center of attention… it still felt like I was watching from outside. And it hurt.

No, I can't keep thinking like that, I need a distraction!

"Ugh…" I break the silence, startling Illya out of her own introspection. "This has been the worst."

"Dunno." She trails off distractedly. "I think I liked it."

"Wha– But!" My protest gets cut short when I notice the way she's smiling dreamily, cheeks still flush with arousal. "What we were put through was–!"

"It was hot as hell."

((Yes it was, that's exactly the problem!) That's not the point! "It was degrading and mortifying and an insult against our very dignity!"

"You don't let loose often, do you?"

"What's that supposed to even mean, Einzbern?"

"Once again, Tohsaka, I'm not as young as I look." The albino girl answers with a smug smirk, throwing her hair over her shoulder in a strangely familiar way. "I might've never known a man, but I'm most definitely not a virgin. I've gone through my share of… experimentation."

"You… I…? Bu–!" I try and fail to give a coherent answer as my flustering returns tenfold under the mental images her answer conjures. What has this girl done? And with whom? "What?"

"Well… I'm usually the one on top." Illya admits shamelessly, a considering look in her eyes. "It occurs to me that I've utterly failed to explore the possibilities of this angle before."

"Does that mean you are giving up?" I ask bitterly, feeling strangely hurt about a betrayal I always knew was going to come sooner or later. "Will you accept Emiya-kun's offer to surrender?"

"Not as long as there's a chance of winning." Illya answers without missing a beat, immediately sobering up at my accusation. "But let's be honest here. What are our chances of turning this around and pulling a win against that alliance of monsters? Onee-chan tore you a new one and she was supposed to be the weakest link here!"

"I quite like my chances, actually." I reply smugly. In spite of every (titillating) humiliation we've been forced through tonight. My suspicions have also been confirmed. "We might've lost a battle, but we've already won the war."

"Bullshit, what do you even– No." She turns around to face me fully, face painted with incredulity. "You can't still be counting on that."

"Why not? My hypothesis has been proved right, they let us go." I press forward. "We can try again, and again and again."

"And be punished in ever-increasingly humiliating ways every time we fail?" Illya asks with clear amusement. "Where's that pride you are so fond of talking about now, Tohsaka?"

Illya isn't… exactly wrong. Will Emiya-kun make us service him in the bathroom next time? Work out his arousal on our knees? Or maybe he'll straight out demand my… I push back the mental images with some effort, gathering all my frustration and spite to focus on his unbearably smug self instead.

That… helps far less than I hoped.

"I just want to wipe that insufferable smirk from his face." I admit with a sigh as we finally arrive at the Tohsaka residence. "I think I might be more stubborn than prideful."

"… You don't say?"

"Shut up, Einzbern." I huff without heat, opening the fence gate to step into the house grounds proper. "You're in no position to talk."

"Never claimed to–"

Her well-natured answer gets cut short when she notices me freezing as soon as my feet land inside the wards. There's an uninvited guest within the protective bounded fields, someone capable of ignoring their defensive properties and simply walking in without having to outwardly destroy anything.

A Servant with high Magic Resistance is the main suspect. Lancer must have arrived while we were away.

We trade looks and nod at each other, our Servants materializing near us as we rush into the house. We cross the bodies of Illya's homunculus maids collapsed on the corridor along the way, but we grit our teeth and keep running. There's a chance they're just unconscious, but I'm really not holding my breath on that one. We can't afford to stop and check right now, anyway.

Berserker is the first to reach the door to the living room, slipping inside with a feline grace that puts my own skidding stop to shame. Inside the room, laying sprawled on my couch with his arms leaning on the back, the blue-clad figure of Lancer awaits with a cocky smirk on his lips.

"'Sup!"