21

You're Exactly Where You're Supposed To Be

"FASTER!" Harry urged as he dodged a third punch, pivoting at the waist. "Focus. Anticipate."

Neville kept his knees bent, his fists up and his breathing as steady as he could, given he'd been trying to hit Harry for the last ten minutes. They were circling each other surrounded by the rest of the defense club in the center of the Quidditch Pitch where the club met every other morning for exercise and hand to hand combat training.

The sun was up, despite the earliness of the morning. Flowers were beginning to bloom as the last grips of winter loosened and Spring began to flourish. Even the air itself smelled fresh and sweet.

"Come on Nev!" Dean Thomas cheered.

"You can take him Nev!" Justin Finch-Fletchley shouted.

There were other catcalls and whistles and loads of clapping for Neville to do what no one else seemed to be able to. Hit Harry Potter. Out of everyone, only Neville had come close to making contact with Harry, and it had been a lucky accident, but only Neville, Harry, Hermione and Lavender knew that.

"Tune them out Neville." Harry said as he and his friend circled.

Neville kept his eyes on Harry as he did his best to calm his breathing. He was sweating, and he was getting pretty tired. Harry always worked him harder than everyone else.

Harry told Neville it was because Neville was farther along, and was more driven. Neville couldn't really argue the drive point. He never wanted to feel helpless, or allow anyone he cared for to get hurt again.

Neville lunged, and Harry spun out of the way but Neville quickly counter, and swept Harry's leg. Harry was ready for it, and though he was falling, he was already rolling back to his feet. Neville wasn't going to let Harry get up again, and struck out with his leg. The kick would have connected had it been anyone else, but Harry caught it, and with a yank, knock Neville to the ground, and threw his fist to Neville's throat, stopping an inch before connecting. The gathered crowd moaned when they realized Neville had been defeated. Neville however was grinning like a fool as Harry helped to his feet, also smiling.

"Well done." Harry said with a friendly clap on the back as he turned to address the Defense club. "Can anyone tell me where Neville went wrong?"

"He accepted your challenge?" Seamus Finnegan snorted. Several people laughed, but Harry shook his head as he turned to a girl with her hand raised. Harry gave her a nod and asked her name. He still hadn't memorized everyone's names yet.

"Lisa Turpin." Said the Ravenclaw with long silky blonde hair. "He hesitated. He gave you too much time to recover from the first strike."

"Exactly." Harry nodded again. "There is a muggle saying… the best defense is a good offense. If you're lucky enough to throw your enemy off balance, don't let him any time to collect his wits. Keep pressing the attack. Keeping firing spells. Keep swinging your fists. It may be all that stands between you and certain doom. Understand?"

The students all nodded, some murmuring a bit.

"Alright, that's enough for today. We'll continue sparring matches next time, and I'll show you some very easy ways to incapacitate an enemy long enough for you to get your wand and bind them up." Harry said, excusing the club. A few people waved, some said goodbye, and a few complimented the lesson. Harry turned to Neville who was smiling now, and wiping sweat from his face.

"I can't believe I knocked you down." Neville shook his head.

"I can." Harry smiled. "You've come a long way Neville. I'd be proud to have you by my side in a battle."

"You really did great Neville." Lavender smiled as she and Hermione approached the boys. "I was sure you were going to get him at last."

Lavender gave Harry a playful shove as Neville looked away, a bit of a blush creeping up his cheeks. Harry gave his girlfriend a soft kiss on her lips when she was close to him, making her smile sweetly at him.

"It was a good lesson." Hermione said, hooking her arm around Harry's and following Neville and Lavender towards the castle and a shower. "I'm wondering when you're going to let me have a go at you."

"Do you think you're ready?" Harry asked, looking seriously at Hermione, who thought for a moment before giving him a slow nod. "Then tomorrow."

"Really?" Hermione looked taken aback by that.

"Sure. I've never doubted your abilities, Angel, only your confidence. If you think you're ready, then you're ready." Harry replied, making Hermione smile.

"Thank you." She said, pulling him down for another slightly longer kiss.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked. "Lavender said you got in a bit of a snit last night, and you did snap at me before you went to bed."

Hermione sighed, and looked rather apologetic to her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry Harry, it's just…" She could already feel her face heating up, but knew there was nothing for it. "It's been just over a month since we were in France. Since we've been back, we haven't been alone at all it seems, and I don't fancy dragging you into a broom cupboard so we can have a bit of closeness, you know?"

"You mean physically intimate." Harry said and Hermione nodded.

"Yes." She replied. "You can't tell me that you haven't felt… longing to be close again?"

"I have noticed that I think about all we did a lot. I also find myself imagining more happening. It's distracting. I was certain I was going crazy or something, but Neville said it's what we do. We think a lot about sex." Harry shrugged.

"You didn't tell him what happened did you?" Hermione sounded panicked, her face becoming pale.

"No." Harry said easily as they entered the Entrance Hall and headed up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower. They passed two Ravenclaw Seventh years who were heading to the Great Hall for an early breakfast. They could also hear faint voices of a few other students who'd chosen to rise early.

"I didn't think he needed to know. I simply told him that I found myself thinking of you at really odd times, and that it was almost all of the time. He explained that boys can't help but think of girls in that way. He said it had something to do with our instincts to breed." Harry continued.

"It sometimes surprises me how insightful he can be." Hermione smirked then she turned serious again. "I guess I'm just frustrated because I don't know when we'll get to… explore things further. And I miss being close to you. I haven't slept nearly as well without you. I felt safe with you next to me. Safer and more comfortable than I've felt in my whole life."

"It was nice." Harry agreed.

"It isn't like you can sneak into my room what with all the wards and stuff. And if someone saw me getting out of your bed, I'd likely be expelled. And I just can't stand the idea of sneaking into a broom cupboard or something so juvenile. If someone found us…"

"Maybe you're thinking about it too much." Harry suggested. Hermione shrugged.

"It's possible." Hermione admitted feeling rather humiliated. "I've never felt like this before, and it's new, and scary in some ways. I really liked what we did, and I can't help but think that if we don't do something soon, you might get bored with me, or something. Like you might get like Ron was with Lavender and get mad that we don't show our affection or something. I don't want to mess things up between us. Too be honest, I'm constantly worrying about doing something to make you angry, or hurting your feelings, or just anything that would make you not want to be with me."

"Sirius once told me that if you obsess over the possibility of failing, you doom yourself to it." Harry remarked. "I think that might apply to this."

Hermione smiled, hugged Harry's arm a bit tighter and nodded. "It's funny how much of your philosophies on combat can apply to romance as well."

Harry shrugged but gave her one of her favorite smiles. They had reached the portrait hole where Neville and Lavender had just stepped through. Hermione gave her boyfriend a kiss and headed up to the girls dorm to shower and change.

She let the hot water ease the tightness in her muscles as she thought about what Harry had said. Perhaps he was right. If she kept worrying about whether or not she could screw things up, she would inevitably do just that. And while she really wanted to advance things with her boyfriend, she shouldn't be in a rush. She realized that she was trying to catch up with her peers when there was no reason to do so. Her relationship with Harry was very different than what would be considered normal. Yes, she had really enjoyed all she had done with Harry, and didn't regret any of it, she had still moved faster than she was really comfortable with.

Hermione vowed to try not to keep overanalyzing every little thing between her and Harry, and just try to enjoy things as they were. Harry was clearly in no hurry, so why should she be.

But perhaps Harry wasn't in a hurry to develop things because he was distracted.

Hermione had noticed it in the last week. Harry was becoming agitated, like he had an abundance of energy that he couldn't find a release for. She had also noticed that he had not been to see Dumbledore since they had returned from France. Usually on Sunday nights, with only a few exceptions, Harry would go to the Headmaster's office to get a progress report of sorts on the war.

Yet that hadn't happened since France. Harry had also mentioned that Sirius had been rather tight lipped the last few times they had spoken. While Hermione wasn't fond of Harry's godfather, she knew that Harry had a bond with the man, and looked up to him. For him to be virtually ignoring Harry was almost cruel after everything he'd done to Harry.

Hermione wondered if Harry was missing being part of the war. He had a very deep sense of duty, and in some ways felt it was his sole responsibility to end the war. From what he'd told her, Hermione wondered if Lord Voldemort might feel the same. After all, what kind of threat could a year old baby be to a wizard of Voldemort's power?

"Ok, I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this." Lavender said while Hermione was drying her hair. The brunette turned to look at her friend who almost looked as if she was going to cry.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked more than a little concerned.

"Neville, of course." Lavender sighed woefully. "I took your advice. I dumped Ron and took time to get to know Neville, and now… I'm hopelessly in love with him and he barely acknowledges me. I'm convinced that Ron poisoned him against me."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Well, for one thing, I haven't heard a single rumor about what a slag I am for having sex with anyone with a pulse. I haven't heard any sort of rubbish about what a horrible person I am. I mean more than usual. Ron hasn't picked a single fight with me, or even given me a dirty look or anything. So all I can think of is that he's poisoning Neville by telling him what a horrible girlfriend I was and Neville believes him. I mean, I flirt with him, I try and let him know that I'm interested, but it's like it goes right over his head or something."

"I thought you were supposed to be spending time with him as a friend and getting to know him better while getting over Ron?"

"I have been." Lavender insisted. "I've gotten to know him pretty well over the last month, and he's great. He's sweet, and gentle, and honest. An honest guy, you have any idea how rare those are?"

"I do." Hermione smirked, knowing her guy was as honest as they come. Harry's philosophy was that lying was a waste of time. Have you considered he still isn't over Hannah yet?"

"Oh come on, they weren't together that long." Lavender said, throwing her head back in frustration.

"It doesn't matter how long they were together. What matters is how he felt for her. Do you even know how much he cared about her? I know you like him and all, but I don't think you know him as well as you think you do. Plus, I think you just miss being with someone."

Lavender thought about that for a bit before slowly nodding.

"Ok, say you're right. What should I do?" Lavender said, following Hermione out of the bathroom and sitting on Hermione's bed as the brunette began to dress for classes.

"Well, stop flirting so hard. Be a real friend. Talk to him about how he's doing with Hannah. I know they've been talking a bit during Defense club. Maybe things are on the mend after all. If not, be the person he needs right now. The one who's there to listen to him, and support him. Put your feelings aside so that you can focus on him. Also, try wearing less revealing workout clothing. The amount of cleavage you're displaying each morning is probably making him really nervous."

"What?" Lavender looked scandalized. "I look totally hot in my yoga pants and sports bra!"

"No one is denying that." Hermione laughed. "But Neville isn't your typical guy, and while I'm sure he appreciates seeing that much skin, he probably thinks it's disrespectful to ogle you like other boys."

"See, and it's things like that that make me like him even more. Gods why does this have to be so hard?" Lavender groaned.

"So you appreciate it more." Hermione snickered.

"And you would know. Gods know you had to wait long enough for Harry, and he treats you like you're a queen or something. You guys have been together three months and he still acts like it's the first week. The way he looks at you alone is enough to have me wanting to tear his clothes off and …" Lavender fanned herself.

"Stop!" Hermione snapped, holding up a hand to cut off Lavender's tirade. "I don't need to hear whatever disgusting depravity… Actually…"

Lavender looked up suddenly very curious. She looked almost like a starving dog,, salivating over a bowl of fresh steaks.

"What?" She asked. Hermione looked tentative for a bit as she pulled on her robe and slipped on her shoes. She had been thinking about this over and over since she had gotten back from France and had always convinced herself to leave it. But the truth was Hermione had no one else to ask. Lavender was the only one she could ask about this sort of thing without fear of too much embarrassment.

"Oh come on Hermione, I'm on the edge here. What is it?" Lavender asked as Hermione fought back her blush. In truth, lavender was almost positive what Hermione wanted to ask. She wasn't as stupid as a lot of people might think.

"Ok." Hermione sighed with resignation. "I want to know how to… please Harry. You know… physically."

Lavender squealed obnoxiously and clapped her hands together. Hermione groaned and rolled her eyes, immediately regretting asking until Lavender hugged her tightly.

"Of course I'll help you." She said. "Tonight, you and I will sit down, and I'll answer all of your questions and give you all of my carnal knowledge."

"Please don't make me regret this." Hermione grumbled, but Lavender just grinned.

"I swear you be glad you asked me." Lavender promised. "It's the very least I can do for all the advice you've given me. And I can't promise it won't be embarrassing, but it will be informative, ok?"

Hermione gave a nod, though she was really wishing she had just kept her mouth shut. She was completely convinced she had made an epic mistake. She and Harry could have figured all of this out on their own. They didn't really need anyone else's interference.

On the other hand, what could it hurt to gain a bit of extra knowledge?

Hermione was certain she was going to find out later that night.

That afternoon, Harry and Neville climbed the stands to watch the Gryffindor team practice. They were all caught up with their homework, and Hermione had told Harry that she needed to discuss something with Lavender and it would likely take awhile, so he should go hang out with the boys.

"I like days like this." Neville smiled as he and Harry found seats at the very top of the stands. "It is the perfect temperature, the sky is mostly clear and when you look at the lake, you can't tell if you're looking at the sky or not."

Harry turned and spied the black lake which looked as if it were a mirror. There wasn't even a hint of a ripple to ruin the illusion.

"I saw you talking to Hannah this morning." Harry said as he turned back to his friend. Neville's smile faltered a bit and he nodded.

"She's doing better, I think." Neville sighed. "She doesn't look like she's ready to run away from me anymore, so that's something. I know we'll never get back together, but I'm hopeful we can be friends again."

"And what about Lavender?" Harry continued. Neville looked up with surprise.

"What about Lavender?" He asked.

"She fancies you. Do you not find her attractive?" Harry asked, looking a bit puzzled.

"S-she fancies me?" Neville asked, then his expression fell and he glared at Harry. "That isn't funny Harry."

"What's funny about her liking you?" Harry asked now confused.

"Wait, you're serious? She really fancies me?" Neville asked.

"According to what I've seen. And Hermione said I was correct." Harry stated matter-of-factly.

"When did Hermione say you were… how do you know?" Neville stammered.

"I've noticed how she behaves around you. How she sits close to you, or goes out of her way to touch you. She flips her hair a lot, or pushes her chest out when she talks to you. I've seen a lot of girls act this way in front of boys they like." Harry explained.

"Hermione said that Lavender liked me?" Neville asked.

"I mentioned how Lavender acted around you and she told me that Lavender had developed feelings for you, but was unsure how to act upon them as you were still getting over Hannah. It's been two months since you and Hannah broke up. I wondered if you felt attraction for Lavender now."

"Of course I'm attracted to Lavender. I mean, she's really beautiful, but I can't believe she feels anything more than friendship for me. And besides, I don't know if I'm really over Hannah yet. I also don't know if Lavender's over Ron, or he's over her. It's really complicated." Neville sighed and rubbed his face. He glanced up to the goal hoop where Ron Weasley sat astride his broom, preparing to block another shot from the Chasers.

"How is it complicated?" Harry asked.

"You know, sometimes I forget that you're woefully ignorant about stuff like this."

Neville chuckled. "It's complicated because I don't want to date someone right now why I'm still working out my feelings over Hannah. Yeah, it's been a couple of months since we were together, but I still care about her. I still have strong feelings for her. It wouldn't be right to start seeing someone else. It wouldn't be fair to that person. Then, there's the fact that Lavender might still be feeling something for Ron. And Ron… I know he still loves Lavender. You can see it when he looks at her. Which is weird considering she claims to have cheated on him. And that's another thing… I don't know if I could really trust her. You weren't here last year, so you didn't see how she and Ron got together. Lavender used to be pretty… um… she used to like to be with a lot of guys. She had new boyfriends every week it seemed. I heard a lot of stories about the things she got up to. I don't believe all of it, but she has a reputation for a reason."

"What happened?" Harry asked interestedly.

"I'm not sure." Neville admitted. "But she suddenly stopped and like focused on Ron. They danced around each other for a long time. Like four or five months, something like that. It was sometimes pretty fun to watch them flirt with each other. Anyway, they finally started dating two weeks before the year ended. In that two weeks, they became the most popular couple in Hogwarts. Then during the summer, she sleeps with another boy? I mean, I don't know everything, of course, but you can't help but wonder if she'll do it again. I don't like the thought of not being able to trust who I'm dating."

"Isn't that something you could work out with her? Like you said, you don't know all the facts." Harry suggested. Neville shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess it would be wrong to judge her for what she's done in the past. I mean, really all that matters is how she feels and how I feel, right?"

Harry shrugged now, and Neville laughed softly.

"I don't know. I wish this sort of thing wasn't so complicated. How are things between you and Hermione?"

"Good, I suppose." Harry said, turning to watch the Gryffindors practice. "She's a bit stressed I think. She's worried I might get bored with her because we don't spend more time exploring our physical relationship. On the other hand, she refuses to drag me into a broom cupboard like other people. She's very confusing sometimes."

"I guess she doesn't want to disappoint you." Neville said, sitting back against the wall of the stands.

"She admitted that." Harry replied.

"How do you feel about her?" Neville asked.

Harry thought about the question for several moments before responding.

"I've spent so much time trying to figure out what it is I feel for her that it's making me mental. I think that I love her, but I'm not sure if that's what I'm feeling. I mean, it isn't as if I was treated badly as a kid, but Sirius and Remus and Moody worked hard to get me to basically turn off my emotions. They praised me when I did well and reprimanded me when I did wrong. Other than that, they kept me at arm's length. But then when I spent Christmas at Hermione's I saw how her parents were with her. I saw how your Grandmother was with you. I've observed people here interact, and it's so strange to me. I really have strong emotions for Hermione, but there's so many of them. There's happiness. Contentment, fear, irritation, excitement, anxiety, desire, and a whole mess of stuff I can't even name. It's maddening."

"Sounds like love to me." Neville laughed lightly.

"Is it? Is love supposed to be so confusing and mental?" Harry asked.

"Yeah mate." Neville laughed. "Hannah drove me barmy sometimes. She would make me mad, and then make me laugh the next minute. Love isn't just one feeling. It's millions of them. At least that's what I think it is. Gran always says you just know it. You don't have to question it, or anything. You just know in your heart and your gut."

Harry thought on it for a bit before nodding. "I think that I'm in love with Hermione."

"Yeah, I had a feeling you might." Neville chuckled. Harry looked at him oddly for a moment until Ron Weasley landed in front of them, sweating, and tired looking.

"Hey guys." The red head said dismounting and settling on the bench in front of them.

"What'd you think of our practice? I think we're ready to face Ravenclaw."

"You guys looked solid." Neville agreed.

"You were very efficient." Harry added. Ron looked at Neville for clarification but Neville could only shrug.

"Right." Ron said after a long pause. "Listen Harry, I wanted to ask you if you planned on asking out Lavender. Because… I know I can't really threaten you or anything. But I just… I wanted you to know that if you don't treat her…"

"Ron." Neville said, cutting across Ron. "You know Harry's dating Hermione right?"

"Yeah, but now that Lavender's available, why should he want to keep dating Granger?" Ron asked.

"Are you making fun of my girlfriend?" Harry asked, his eyes narrowing. Ron quickly began to backpedal and waved off the attack he was sure was about to come his way.

"No, I just meant… I just meant that Hermione is ok, but that you clearly can have any girl you fancy, and Lavender spends a lot of time with you, so I just thought you might fancy her and…"

"I'm with Hermione. I don't fancy Lavender. She is my friend." Harry stated flatly.

"Oh." Ron nodded. "Ok then. Sorry."

Ron stood up and made to leave when Neville stopped him.

"Hey Ron, how come you've been so cool about you and Lavender breaking up? I mean, she says she cheated on you. Aren't you even a little angry?"

Ron shook his head before looking around to make sure no one was around to over hear them and he sat down again.

"Because I cheated on her." Ron said, his face full of shame. "It was just before school started. I was in the village near my house and I met this really pretty muggle girl. The details aren't important, but I did some things that I shouldn't have. Things between me and Lav were great, but as we went on, we just weren't clicking like we used to. We kept fighting over dumb stuff, and we were barely snogging anymore. Turns out she was being eaten alive by the guilt she felt over cheating on me, but she wasn't the only one. I was furious at first, but then… Well I had no right to be because I'd cheated on her too, though she doesn't know it. I'm as much to blame as she is."

"Whoa." Neville breathed. Harry simply stared at the redhead who nodded guiltily.

"I know." The redhead agreed. "Anyway, I just felt it was best to just let things go. But, I still love her you know, and I want her to be happy with whoever she decides to be with."

"She wants to be with Neville." Harry said. Ron looked up at Harry and then turned his eyes to Neville. He stared at the once shy Gryffindor as if measuring him.

"Really?" Ron asked still in some sort of shock by this revelation.

"I-I don't…" Neville began.

"She's been trying to get him to notice her for over a month now." Harry continued.

"She could do a lot worse, I suppose." Ron said, staring into nothingness as he thought about this news. He then looked up at Neville and gave a small sort of smile. "I don't have to threaten you mate, because I know you'll treat her the way she deserves."

"Um, ok…" Neville said, clearing his throat. "But I'm not sure if I like her."

Ron nodded and stood up again, collecting his broom. "That's between you and her, and it's none of my business. You're a good guy Neville, and to be honest, I've always kind of wished I were a bit more like you. I'll see you guys later. I'm supposed to meet Lisa Turpin for dinner and I'm getting hungry."

With that, Ron mounted his broom and took over, presumably towards the castle for dinner. Neville could only sit there gobsmacked while Harry got to his feet. The idea of dinner was quite appealing to him at the moment. He turned to Neville who was still just staring in shock.

"You going to sit out here, or do you want to go eat?" Harry asked. Neville blinked and then shook his head to clear it. He got to his feet and followed Harry back towards the castle.

Neville admittedly spent a lot of his life pretty confused, but he'd never been so perplexed in his whole life. Today had been a very, very strange day. First, he'd managed to knock Harry off his feet, then he'd learned that Lavender Brown, arguably one of the best looking girls in the school might fancy him, and then Ron Weasley looked up to him! Neville wondered if he was about to find out Snape had been so hard on him all these years because he looked on Neville as the son he never had.

Then he realized how utterly absurd that was, and began to laugh to himself. Neville realized then that his grandmother was right once again. Life really was a strange journey.

"And you're certain?' Albus Dumbledore asked as he stared out his office window to the grounds below. He could see students walking to and fro soaking up the early Spring sunshine before dinner and getting to their studies. Normally such a sight would bring a smile to his face as there was nothing he loved more than watching his students learn and grow. Today however, his heart was just too heavy. "There can be no mistakes if we are to proceed."

"There's no mistaking." Alastor Moody grunted. "It matches Snape's description."

"I'm still curious as to why it's not under the Fidelius." Bill Weasley said off handedly. "Finding it was easier than I believed it would be."

"Don't trouble yourself Weasley." Moody countered. "It's time we had a lucky break. Besides, old' Lucius is far to egotistical to bother with a Fidelius charm. Probably thinks no one would be stupid enough to try and attack his house."

"And he has every right to think that way." Dumbledore turned to look at the three men sitting in his office. "Despite everything, the Malfoy family is still well regarded. He's spent a fortune to ensure his family name is still held in such high praise among the old families. You all saw what happened at the trail. Despite the overwhelming evidence, and being caught by over fifty witnesses at the Department of Mysteries, he still was only barely was convicted."

"Gold is quite powerful." Bill Weasley muttered and Kingsley Shacklebolt nodded his agreement.

"It's the place, Al." Moody said again. "Peacocks and all. The place has got some really powerful wards in place too. Though that might work in our favor. They'll have to take down the wards to escape after we start the fire. Anti Apparition wards help keep prisoners trapped inside, but the also trap the Death Eaters in as well."

"We can ill afford mistakes at this juncture, Alastor. We will need to confirm that our mission is successful. I do not wish for lives to be wasted needlessly." Dumbledore said pointedly. "We need prisoners to interrogate if we can get them."

"Then we're going to need the kid." Moody said, all traces of humor gone now. He leaned heavily on his walking stick, both eyes locked on the Headmaster. "He's the fastest with a wand, and can knockout and bind the Death Munchers before they even realize what's happened. We can focus on the fire, Harry can get your prisoners, Al."

"We've discussed this…" Dumbledore began but Moody shook his head.

"Yeah, I'm well aware of your belief that the kid needs to get a life, but damn it, we trained him to fight a gods be damned war Albus. The kid's a soldier, and you have him here playing house with some skinny assed dumpling for what exactly? We are this close to ending this war once and for all, so why aren't we using every damned asset we have. When it's over, let the kid come here, make friends, all that crap. But right now, we need him out there." Moody argued.

"This is not a debate Alastor."

"No it isn't." Moody countered. "It's lives, Al. Innocent lives. Mums and dads and their kids. Husbands and wives. While I'm sure we could manage this little bonfire on our own, I would rather be certain that everyone that we send comes home. I was on board with sending the kid to school and all that, but that was before we were so gods be damned close to ending all of this."

Dumbledore stared at his old friend and consider his words for a long time before he sighed and removed his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"I know that you're right Alastor. Harry is the best fighter we have. Unlike any of the rest of us, it's all he's known. To not use him is to essentially cripple ourselves. And yet I can't help but believe it is better to keep him as far away from the war as we can until we are ready. Until Lord Voldemort is vulnerable at last." Dumbledore sighed.

"That's noble, and Merlin knows the kid deserves a chance to find his own way. But that time isn't right now. " Moody countered. "You're not an idiot, Albus, stop pretending to be, and let's do what we set out to do. Let's end the killing and the suffering. Send the kid with us, and let's cripple the bastard."

Dumbledore sighed heavily and groaned. Moody looked to Shacklebolt and Weasley, both of whom had remained silent through the debate. They had heard the argument during Order meetings. They had seen what the kid could do. But they didn't know Harry like Alastor or Dumbledore. They hadn't watched him grow up. They hadn't had to watch as Dumbledore ripped that soul fragment out of the kid's head. Alastor Moody could be called a lot of things, but soft wasn't one of them.

Except when it came to the kid. Moody wanted Harry to have a life outside of the war just like everyone else. The problem was that Moody seemed to be the only one who realized that Harry was their strongest chance at ending the war fast.

Moody had lied earlier. He had not wanted the kid to come to Hogwarts. He knew he was going to be out voted, and had argued against it, but in the end, he knew Harry was going to go to school whether he wanted that or not. Moody knew it was going to confuse the kid and make him lose his edge. An edge the Order needed to guarantee victory for the light.

And now here they were, so close to the end that everyone could taste it, and Dumbledore was trying to coddle the kid.

"Albus, We end this war, and the kid can be free. He can chase skirts and skive off classes and all that shite, but right now, he has a responsibility, as do we. To protect the innocent, and stop this madman once and for all. We need him out there with us."

With a heavy sigh, Dumbledore looked up at Moody and the old Auror could plainly see the heartbreak in the old man's eyes. Alastor wasn't heartless, and he knew Albus' heart was heavy. How could it not be. He'd robbed an orphaned boy of his childhood in the name of protecting the rest of the country. He'd done so for the Greater Good. Now, after he'd seen how truly powerful and capable the boy had become, the leader of the light regretted it all.

However Moody knew he was right, and that Harry was the best chance to end the war faster, and Dumbledore could not deny it. Now that they were a hair's breath from ending the gripping fear that held the country and it's people, Albus Dumbledore knew in his heart that Alastor Moody was right, and that in order to win, he would have to let Harry go with them to destroy Malfoy Manor.

Before he said a word, Moody knew Dumbledore had made up his mind, and could not stop himself from smiling triumphantly.

"Very well."

Moody smirked and tapped his walking stick on the floor, chuckling as he headed for the door.

"Have him in the Entrance Hall at nine. Let's go mates, we got some Death Eaters to end." Moody said cheerily.

When the three men had left, Dumbledore rose from his seat and went to his floo. He grabbed a pinch of the silvery dust and threw it into fire before he called out.

"Grimmauld Place."

He knelt onto the floor, his ancient knees creaking loudly as he stuck his head in the emerald green flames.

"Sirius, I must speak with you."

It had been the most interesting, and at the same time, most humiliating four hours of her life. And worse, there was still loads more to discuss, or so Lavender had claimed. Hermione had not expected that there would be so much to it, or that the conversation would get so graphic, or so instructive. Lavender had even gone so far as to conjure a lifelike replica of a man's... wand... and given Hermione a visual display of certain techniques.

So in depth had the conversation gotten that Hermione had not gone to dinner. This, as it turned out, wasn't so bad as Lavender had planned ahead and made sure they both had food so they would not be interrupted.

All Hermione had wanted was a few pointers in the art of physical love. A few things that she and Harry could do together to show their affection and growing trust in each other. What she had gotten was a full dissertation on the many, many… MANY acts one could participate in with another person all in the pursuit of physical gratification.

It had been downright awkward, humiliating, and deeply scandalous.

And it had also been really, really enticing.

While Hermione had at first been horrified by the things Lavender told her about, the more she thought about them, the more curious Hermione became. The images her mind conjured of Harry removing her clothing and worshipping her body with his had in fact affected her on a physical level. The more Lavender told her, the more Hermione imagined, and the more she felt a growing heat within her. A fire she really wanted Harry to stoke.

This feeling got so strong that when Lavender, finally exhausted from explaining things, let her go, Hermione was feeling far more worked up than she had ever felt before, including while she had been in France, and all she wanted was to find Harry and snog him until she couldn't see straight… to start with anyway.

Yes, she was perfectly aware that snogging her boyfriend was only going to make her desire more, and that she would end up alone in her own bed, frustrated beyond belief, but, Lavender had been kind enough to explain how she could ease the tension herself, and Hermione did know some really good charms to make sure no one heard her, or would interrupt her, if it came to it.

Then again, she could use some of those privacy wards on an empty classroom… right?

Hermione had all but sprinted for the Common Room, thinking of a few places she and Harry might find within the castle that would grant them a bit of privacy. She even considered taking Harry to the Room of Requirement and seeing what the limits to what the room could provide them were. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and straightened her skirt as she scanned the Common Room for her boyfriend. It was well past dinner, and most of the Gryffindors were working on homework, playing games, or just being social with their friends.

However, Harry wasn't in the Common Room, as she had expected.

She knew he'd spent the afternoon with Neville. After all, is had been Hermione who had suggested it. She had told Harry that Lavender had needed to talk to her about something, and had promised to come find him as soon as they were done. But he wasn't in the Common Room. She wondered if he might be in the Library. That would be convenient. She started to head for the portrait hole when she caught sight of Neville in a corner with a book propped in his lap and a what looked to be an essay on the small table next to him. Hermione changed directions mid-step to find out if Neville knew where Harry might be.

"Hey Neville." She said as she got close to her friend.

"Hey." Neville said looking up. He looked a little flummoxed. She glanced at the parchment next to him and found that he'd been in the middle of a sentence and had just stopped writing, as if he'd lost his train of thought before she'd arrived.

"Everything alright?" She asked.

"Yeah… maybe… I don't know, but I'm figuring it out." He replied, making Hermione snicker. "You looking for Harry?"

"Yeah. Did he go to bed?" Hermione asked.

"No, he got a note from Dumbledore a few minutes ago, and then headed up stairs to his dorm. I don't know… Oh, there he is." Neville motioned with his head.

Sure enough, Harry was coming down the stairs, and Hermione's good mood melted away almost at once.

Harry was dressed head to toe in black, and was slipping his wand into his wrist holster. She had seen him wearing this particular outfit several times, usually when he was leaving, or coming back from one of his missions. Hermione had always felt a bit of fear whenever Harry left on one of his missions, but tonight, something was different. She couldn't say exactly what it was, but Hermione felt the need to convince Harry not to go away tonight.

"Harry?" She said, getting to her feet, and falling into step with him

"Hey." He smiled softly, taking her hand and leading her out of Gryffindor tower. "Dumbledore sent me a note. Something is happening tonight, and the Order wants me there."

Almost at once, Hermione felt a shiver go up her spine. She started to say something, but shut her mouth almost at once. She knew he'd been feeling a bit out of sorts lately having not been trapped in the castle while his godfather and others had been out there fighting the war he was supposed to end.

""Do you know what it is?" Hermione asked, trying to sound unconcerned. Harry clearly didn't notice her anxiety.

"No, but I'm sure it's something simple. You don't need to worry about it." He said, giving her one of the smiles she loved best. Tonight though, it didn't warm her heart as it usually did.

Harry took her hand as they began down the stairs. Hermione gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes, but Harry was clearly already mentally preparing, and didn't notice. They walked in silence, hand in hand until they reached the Entrance Hall where Mad-Eye Moody was leaning on his gnarled walking stick.

"You're late kid. I told Albus to have you here at nine." Moody grumbled. Harry gave the elder man a sharp salute which Moody returned.

"I only just got the note sir. I came as quickly as I could." Harry replied flatly, his eyes on Mad-Eye Moody.

"Yeah, I can see that." Moody said, eyeing Hermione. Hermione fought the urge to shiver under Moody's gaze. She had never really felt comfortable around Moody. He always came off as lecherous to her.

"Well, kiss your strumpet goodbye, kid, and let's get moving. Night's a wasting."

"He's not going, Alastor."

Moody, Hermione and Harry all turned to see Sirius walking through the door, looking pretty perturbed. He was glaring dangerously at Moody, who was clearly unfazed by it. Hermione however, felt a sense of relief at the sight of Sirius, which was strange as she didn't much care for Harry's godfather, though for very different reasons than why she disliked Moody.

"Let me guess, Dumbledore contacted you and told you to come, right?" Moody asked sounding exasperated. "I should have expected it."

"We agreed Harry was going to remain in school, no more missions." Sirius said bitterly.

Hermione let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding onto. She squeezed Harry's hand, but he didn't even look at her.

"Wait, why can't I go on any more missions?" Harry asked suddenly, looking very confused, and if Hermione wasn't much mistaken, a little hurt.

"The kid asked you a question, Sirius. Go on, answer him." Moody said to Sirius, smirking slightly. "Tell him why you want to keep him away from the war we've spent his whole life training him for. Tell him why we wasted his life teaching him how to fight and be the best duelist since Merlin and now want to keep him away from it all. Hidden here playing house with his missus there."

Harry let go of Hermione's hand and her heart sank. She stared at Harry, fighting the stinging in her eyes as Harry stared at his godfather, waiting for an answer.

"Alastor, we all agreed it was better if Harry focus on his relationships." Sirius countered, before turning to Harry. "Harry, you should not have been told about this mission. I'm sorry, but we don't need you on this one."

"Apparently you do." Harry said firmly, looking to Moody who was smirking deviously.

Hermione felt a growing urge to smack that smirk right off his scarred face. "Mad-Eye seems to think I'm needed, and isn't he usually right when it comes to this sort of thing?"

"Harry..."Sirius said, looking apologetic, but Harry didn't let him continue.

"I don't understand you." Harry shook his head. "I don't understand why you spent all those years preparing me to fight, and then send me here. What was the point, Sirius? Why did you send me here to waste time, when I could be out there making a difference? What the hell was the point?"

Hermione gasped, and Harry finally turned to look at her as if he'd only just remembered she was there. She took two steps back as she gaped at him incredulously.

"Being with me is a waste of time?" She asked.

"What?" Harry asked, clearly not understanding her question.

"You just said that being here was a waste of time? Is that what I've been to you? A waste of time? Something to occupy yourself with until you could go off and end the war single handedly?"

"What? No? That isn't what I meant." Harry said, starting to get irritated.

"Look kid, we're on a schedule here." Moody said, also getting upset. This was taking way to long, and they needed to get going. People were waiting on them tonight, and Moody really wanted to see Lucius Malfoy's house burn.

"Shut it, Moody." Sirius snapped. Moody simply laughed at Sirius cold glare.

"Hermione, I didn't mean you were a waste of time." Harry said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I meant I should be helping to end this war. It's like Moody said, it's what I've been trained for. I'm out of my element here. I'm lost all the time, and … I could have come here when it was all over if it was really that important."

"And we might not have met, Harry. I know you're upset and you feel like you're not where you should be, but the fact is that you're exactly where you're supposed to be Harry. You're here. With me." She could feel the tears building behind her eyes now, and she was struggling not to lose control now. Harry grimaced at her expression, and looked to Moody, who motioned with his head that they should go. He turned to Sirius who still looked ready to spit nails and was shaking his head.

"She's right Harry." Sirius remarked. "I told you that we made a grave mistake with you. We treated you as if you were a weapon and not a person. When we realized our mistake, we did what we should have done all along, and sent you to be with people your age. We sent you here to learn what it meant to be a person, and you've done an amazing job. We still need you, but not right now. Right now, you're right where you should be, and Moody knows that."

"No he isn't." Moody snapped. "We need him with us tonight to capture and kill as many of Voldemort's people as he can. We need this kid to do what we trained him to do and decimate Voldemort's army and protect our people Sirius."

"Moody held Sirius gaze for a moment before turning to Harry, knowing that he could end this argument once and for all with a few more words to Harry himself. After all, there was one thing that the kid wanted that he couldn't find here at school.

" We're going to Malfoy Manor, kid. The place is a hotbed for Death Eaters. There's a good chance that we can cut his numbers tonight with minimal effort, as well as capture some of his inner circle. Maybe even Malfoy himself, along with MacNair, Rookwood, possibly even Pettigrew."

Both Harry and Sirius looked to Moody now. Moody turned his gaze on Sirius.

"That's right, the man who betrayed the Potters. He's there right now." Moody said with a defiant smirk.

"You're sure?" Sirius asked, though he still looked angry with the old Auror.

"As sure as I'm standing here." Moody nodded. "Still think we don't need the kid with us?"

Sirius looked to be mulling it over, and Hermione saw Harry looking anxious, awaiting his godfather's response.

"Yes, I'm sure." Sirius said as he looked at Harry, and Hermione who was wiping at her eyes. "I'm sorry Harry, but you need to stay here. You and Hermione need to work things out before they get more complicated. Let us handle this, as we should have been doing all along."

Moody growled angrily, and Harry balled his fists.

"You promised me." Harry said in a tone Hermione had never heard before. Then again, she'd never seen Harry angry before. "You said when we found him, I'd be there. I'd get to make him pay for what he did. You said it was my right."

"I know what I said Harry, but that was before. Things have changed..." Sirius looked to Hermione. Harry glanced over his shoulder at his girlfriend and then back to Sirius.

"She'll understand." Harry started, but Hermione shook her head.

"No I won't." She said, making Harry turn to her again. "I know you've been trained to fight, Harry. I know that you feel like it's your job to go out there and bring bad people to justice, and protect the people who can't, but you're not the only one who can do that. Sirius said that you don't need to be there tonight.."

"But Moody..." Harry started, sounding a little like a petulant child.

"Is not your godfather." Hermione snapped, making Moody and Sirius recoil at the venom in her voice. "He's simply one of the men who corrupted you into believing you've got to be the one to end this war."

"Corrupted?" Moody scoffed with indignance. "I taught the boy how to survive lassie."

"And while Sirius isn't innocent, he's at least trying to make up for his mistakes." Hermione continued, ignoring the former Auror. "He's doing what he should have been doing all along and protecting you."

"You don't understand." Harry retorted which made Hermione cross her arms defiantly.

"Then make me." She said. "Explain it to me so that I can understand why you feel this need to go off and fight."

"I've already told you..." Harry started but Hermione shook her head again.

"You've told me how you were trained. You told me how you feel when you kill a death eater. But never once have you explained to me why you feel it has to be you out there fighting. Why Harry? Why do you have to do this?" Hermione asked as she closed the gap so that she was standing right in front of him. Tears were falling down her cheeks now as she looked into his bright green eyes.

"Stay with me." She pleaded softly. "Let someone else handle this."

Harry sighed, and took her hands. He bent and kissed her lips gently before pulling back to stare into her eyes.

"I can't." Harry said sadly. "I don't know if I can be whatever it is you want or need, Hermione. I've been trying to understand what's been happening between us all this time. All these feelings I've had. I promise that I will keep trying because you're important to me. But so is doing what I've been trained for. Protecting you, and everyone else is my responsibility."

"Harry, you…" She started but he silenced her with a look.

"I am a soldier. It's who I am, and all I've ever known. That isn't going to change because you want me to be something else. It's not going to happen because I get sent to school. I have to fight because people need me to fight."

"I need you, Harry." Hermione tried but Harry was already pulling away.

"Harry." Sirius said, getting his godson's attention. "I will order you to remain here."

"No you won't." Harry said evenly. He stood next to his godfather, but his eyes remain forward, distant. "You won't because even though I've never done it before, you know I won't listen this time. I've never disobeyed any order you've ever given me, but I will this time."

Sirius grimaced at his godson's words. Moody chuckled and clapped his hand on the boy's shoulder as Harry walked past him out the door. Moody fell into step beside him and slapped him on the shoulder.

Sirius looked to Hermione, a deep sadness clear on his face.

"I'm sorry." He said sullenly before he turned and followed Moody and Harry. Hermione felt the pain exploding in her chest and found it difficult to breathe. She needed to go. She needed to run back up to her room, and convince herself that Harry hadn't just turned his back on her.

"So, it looks like things kind of fell apart there, eh?"

Hermione turned to find Cormac McClaggen standing just behind her, looking as arrogant as ever.

"Well, maybe he just got sick of being teased by you, Granger. I mean, let's face it, that guy could nail any witch he wanted to. Clearly he's finally wised up."

Hermione would never know why she did it. All she knew was in that moment, every single offense she had suffered, every name she'd ever been called, every prank ever played on her, every ounce of hate she had suppressed boiled over within her, and for the first time, Hermione Granger struck back.

Cormac McClaggen found himself on his ass on the stone floor, holding his hand to his now broken nose while Hermione shook her hand out. She glared at McClaggen who was scrambling back from the enraged witch who was stalking him.

"If you ever so much as look in my direction again, I will take great pleasure in castrating you and selling your bits to a potion maker. Am I in any way unclear?" She snarled. McClaggen shook his head as he got to his feet and took off for the Hospital wing. Hermione felt the adrenaline leave her almost instantly, and the desire to run away returned.