17

016 - Lady troubles

Tohsaka Rin

The bell announces lunch break and I can barely resist the urge to slump in relief. Instead, I stand up as fast as I possibly can without making a scene and disappear into the rooftop before anyone can sidetrack me with inane conversation. I go so far as to ward the door so anybody trying to follow me will suddenly remember something pressing to do on the other side of the school.

Don't judge me.

Once I'm absolutely sure I have the place for Archer and myself, I plop my back against the wall, slowly letting myself slide down with a long-drawn groan until I'm sitting down on the floor. Damn but I'm tired.

Archer's astralized form leans closer, practically sitting on my lap and I can't help a small smile. A small tired smile, because I can't pull off anything else at the time, but still. It's reassuring to know I have her, because that's pretty much the only thing I have going for me at this moment.

Since the problems Emiya-kun had so kindly dropped on my lap were solved in a timely fashion and Shinji's reveal as a Master meant I had to investigate the Matou more closely, I decided to dig deeper into the family archives. I'm talking the real old stuff, from the first days of the ritual, when the paranoia of my family put my own security measures to shame.

Blood wards, crest tests and even fucking mindscape identification systems were required to access those files. What I found there was a treasure trove of information on the other Founding families. Nothing that directly helped with my current situation, unfortunately, but that didn't keep me from wasting hours going through the material there. I'm only human.

I was about to call it a night when I finally stumbled into something tangible about the Crest Worms. Also known as blood worms, rape worms and nightmare worms. They can be used as spare magic circuits by allowing them to bury into the flesh of a living human, which has a list of gender-specific side-effects the length of my forearm, and that's one of their tamest uses. There was nothing about them being fucking Horcruxes in the files, but knowing about the possibility beforehand, it's not hard to figure out how they might be applied for that too.

Those things have earned the moniker of nightmare worms. It was only through sheer stubbornness that I managed to fall asleep afterward.

Which only gave way to nightmares where Archer wasn't there to orbital strike the fuck out of those maggots, so the caught up with me and did… what they do. I woke up to find out my period had come early and I was covered in blood. Which explained the nightmare, I guess, but between one thing and the other it took me half an hour under scalding hot water in the shower to feel clean again.

I'm glad Sakura is with Emiya-kun now, because I would've pulled her out myself otherwise and to hell with contracts and alliances. I'm still of half a mind to pay her a visit after school just to… Well, to stand awkwardly in front of her in uncomfortable silence, drowning in guilt and without the slightest idea of what to say, really.

Hell, I'm a mess.

I rub the sides of my head, trying to will my headache away. To think I considered yesterday a bad day… At least the unknown Master trying to attack the school seems to have taken a break from his preparations last night. Silver linings.

Of course, because the cosmic forces that rule the universe have decided I can't catch a break, that's when the door of the rooftop slams open, giving way to a certain smiling loon.

"Tohsaka-sensei!" He announces cheerfully. "I come to bargain!"

I didn't sob in despair, nobody saw me and nothing can be proven. Archer would never betray my secrets and Emiya-kun is a filthy liar who lies, no jury would accept his testimony.

"Sensei? Are you feeling alright?"

"Emiya-kun." I manage to greet him with an even voice, barely even grinding my teeth in the process. "What do you want now?"

"So mean!" He takes his hands to his heart in an overly melodramatic fashion like the (lovable) idiot he is. "I just wanted to know if you had those Geas Scrolls ready, for the neutral ground agreement and all that."

The Geas Scrolls. A jolt of mortified realization goes through my body as I'm reminded of the actual subject of our last conversation. With everything that's gone on ever since, I might've kind of… well, slightly failed to remember about that. Just a bit.

"Sensei?"

"I forgot"

"Sorry, I'm afraid I missed that."

"I forgot, okay! It won't happen again!" I blurt out, immediately regretting my raised voice when my head reminds me I'm going through severe migraines. "Happy now? Then go away and leave me to enjoy my misery in peace."

"Come on now, can't I worry about my favorite magic teacher who is also my fellow high-school student?" I feel my eyes narrow in suspicion. That's an extremely specific claim to make. Ugh, I guess that's all the confirmation I needed. He's definitely recruited Caster for his side. "I'm feeling a bit guilty after dropping all that on your lap, but you had just refused my alliance offer and I thought you wouldn't appreciate clumsy interlopers nosing around."

"You thought well." I grunt with a bit more animosity that I intended. In my defense, I'm having a shitty day. "The matter of the Crest Worms was resolved with no casualties, but I shouldn't have investigated the damn things. Not right before bed, at least."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be, it's not your fault Zouken was a fatherless abomination." I wave it off with a huff. "It's just that your timing sucks. Can we talk about something else?"

Emiya-kun plops himself right beside me and I consider telling him to move away, but (he feels warm and nice) I'm too tired to care or bother. We spend a while like that, sitting beside each other, talking about school rumours and anecdotes from our past. It's nice to spend a while doing… nothing.

There's no agenda to push, no concession to waggle out of the other, no need to carefully dosify the flow of information. We just talk about silly and stupid things, allowing me to catch a much-needed break without having to worry about anything. Emiya-kun is many things, but he won't break a truce to stab me in the back.

At some point along the conversation, we started leaning a bit on each other. There's a vague urge to snap at him for the presumption, but I'm just as much to blame and, as much as I might regret this later on, I'm too tired and comfortable to care right now.

(Now if only he'd wrap his stupid arm around me already…)

"Sensei." Only when he breaks the silence, do I notice we haven't said anything for a while. Damn, I must be more tired than I thought. I need to seriously consider taking a nap after school. "We've known each other for… what? Two years now?"

"Are you getting sentimental on me now?" I retort amusedly. "You do know we'll probably have to kill each other off before the month is over, right?"

"Yeah, the War thing kind of throws a spanner into our whole relationship dynamics, but I'd like to believe they do mean something."

"Maybe." Is it pathetic that an apprentice I teach for a handful of hours per week is the closest person in my life? Because I think it might be. "Not enough to make you surrender, though."

"So, how about a wager?"

"I'm not going to bet my victory away, Emiya-kun." I cut him. "We both know you'd cheat your cheating ass off just to win."

"I did learn from the best, sensei." He answers wiggling his eyebrows, I can't help but to roll my eyes at his antics. "But I was thinking about betting on the results of the War instead."

"Oh?" Well that's certainly an idea. In spite of myself, I'm interested.

"If we both survive the War, you join my harem."

"Your harem?" I ask incredulously. A chuckle that's more like a bark escapes me, because of course he'd wager that. How did I (fall for) tolerate this fool for so long? "Why don't you join mine instead?"

"Because I already have a harem and you don't, sensei."

"Servants don't count, Emiya-kun." I answer, a bit condescendingly. "They'll disappear at the end."

"Even then, I still have a harem." He replies even more smugly. Too smugly. Way too smugly. Curse this handsome bastard. "And you still don't."

"Oh, do shut up, you smug bastard! Fine! I'll accept the wager with one condition!" He wants to play? Then we'll play!

"Really? I- I mean… Of course!" There's no real surprise in his voice, the giant (adorable) dork is just playing it up. It still brings a smile to my lips. "Let's hear your terms."

"If I win the War…" I make an appropriately dramatic pause, before continuing. "It'll be my harem."

It's silly, of course, if I win the war I'll reach the Root. No point in betting on that outcome because nothing in the material world will matter anymore, but I can't just take his smug face without a fight! I'm not that kind of girl!

"Deal."

There's something in his smile that makes me think he came out ahead on the matter, but I let it slide. (It's not like joining his harem would be such a terrible fate in the first place.)

"Alright, I'll be out of your hair now." He declares then, standing up cheerfully and leaving my side unpleasantly cold in the process. "By the way… You are aware I'll win the bet as long as someone other than you wins, right? Or even if there's no winner."

I take his comment with proper maturity, giving it exactly the sort of answer it deserves. I throw my shoe at his face. I miss.

"Alright, see you around, Sensei." He doesn't acknowledge my actions, simply walking away towards the door as my other shoe flies past him to hit the wall. Once he opens the door though, he stops to face me again with an unfairly charming smile on his lips. "And I'm glad that you look a bit better now."

… Huh

I do feel better too.

Medea of Colchis.

"Megissa-san, please allow me to be the first to welcome you to the Ryuudou Temple." The Head Monk greets me by my fake name as I reach the bottom of the stairs. "I only wish it had happened in better circumstances."

"Thank you for your kind words Ryuudou-san." I bow before the man, offering a grateful smile when he takes my suitcase and turns to lead the way upstairs into the temple grounds. "And please, don't worry about my circumstances, I just wish to put them behind me and start a new life."

As far as the official authorities are concerned, I'm a victim of domestic violence who requested asylum here in Ryuudou Temple in an attempt to rebuild my life away from my scumbag husband. The best lies are those who are 90% truth, after all.

"Ah… Actually, we are expecting more visitors today." Halfway up the stairs, the Head Monk breaks the silence again, sounding a bit nervous. "Family friends who need somewhere to stay for a week or two while their home is being reworked. They're two girls and a young man. A charming individual of outstanding character."

"What do you… Oh!" I feign ignorance on what worries him for long enough to be credible, before 'reaching the right conclusion'. "Please, don't worry on my account. I don't blame men for my ex-husband's behaviour. I'm sure the young man will be delightful company."

It's amusing how he doesn't seem to consider the monks themselves 'men'. Especially when, as opposed to other religious denominations, they are allowed to take wives and have progeny. But they're supposed to be holy men and thus above reproach. Positive bias is a strange thing sometimes.

"I'm glad to hear that." He says in obvious relief. "The Emiya siblings are a charming pair and we do owe their late parents, but it wouldn't have felt right to force you to share living space with them if they made you uncomfortable."

"Pair?" I ask the obvious question, it's a good chance to make sure he's properly brainwashed and there's been no weird logic deviations. "Didn't you just say there would be two girls?"

"Ah, yes. The last one is a kouhai from school who was living with them for the school year. Truly, for woodworms to infest their home precisely now… Horrible timing."

I make an affirmative noise, smiling internally at the way he explains everything, accepting the bizarre circumstances as such but without a hint of incredulity at them. The conditioning seems to have settled properly into his subconscious.

We reach the Temple gate and I pause a moment to cast my senses outwards while my guide trades words with one of his subordinates. No opponent seems to have wised up and used this last chance to leave traps or other surprises in our future base of operations. The way everyone is leaving this place be is a bit... no, it's terribly unsettling from where I'm standing. I'll have to take Master's word on the competence of our enemies, because my own judgement certainly suggests something else.

"Right." The Head Monk draws my attention again. "If you follow me, I'll show you your room."

I nod with a smile, demurely falling behind him as he guides me through the grounds.

Oh, well, their loss is our gain. With only the finishing touches remaining, it'll be a matter of hours before I'm ready to summon my own Servant. I can't wait until I show Master my new future sister wife. I've prepared, after all, a catalyst that'll make sure Assassin is a woman.

Getting everything in place only took me until noon. The hardest part was to properly coax the Greater Grail into granting me the Command Spells that'll make me a Master. According to Master, I never managed this in the original timeline, having to content myself with a cheap forgery. But then again, I've had more time and inspiration this time around, and Master himself makes for a rather useful research assistant.

In any case, everything is ready now. For the location of the ritual, I've chosen the inner shrine. It's not only the most important location of the Temple, but also the most magically charged location within the barrier, if we discount the cavern of the Greater Grail itself. Keeping everyone out and unaware hasn't been a problem, and drawing the summoning circle was even less of one.

About the catalyst…

A perfectly mundane human uterus, healthy and hale, surgically extracted from a young woman recently deceased due to unrelated traumatic injury and kept in stasis until required. No magic circuits, no myth or legend, nothing to tie it to any particular Servant, but rather effective when it comes to making sure the summoned one belongs to the fairer sex.

A bit crass, maybe, but it'll work. There's no place for squeamishness in the witchcraft business.

Silver and iron to the origin.

Blood and the goddess of crossroads to the cornerstone.

The ancestor is my great grandfather Hyperion.

The alighted wind becomes a wall.

The gates in the four directions close.

Coming from the crown, the three-forked road that leads to the kingdom circulate.

Shut/Fill.

Shut/Fill.

Shut/Fill.

Shut/Fill.

Shut/Fill.

Repeat every five times.

Simply, shatter once filled.

――――I announce.

Your self is under me, my fate/doom is in your knife.

In accordance with the approach of the Holy Grail, if you abide by this feeling, this reason, then answer.

Here is my oath. I am the one who becomes all the good of the world of the dead, I am the one who lays out all the evil of the world of the dead.

You, seven heavens clad in three words of power, arrive from the ring of deterrence, O keeper of the balance ―――!

There's a burst of light that would've blinded a lesser magus, but I'm more than capable of looking past it to see the golden particles of light converge into a solid shape. I can't help a twinge of disappointment at how small and young the figure looks, she's definitely a girl, but…

"Assassin - Jack the Ripper. Please take care of me, Mommy."

Wait, I know this one, Master has told me about her. Jack the Ripper, a gestalt of wraiths made out of the countless children of London prostitutes during the Industrial Revolution, who died without ever having a chance to properly live. They may or may not be the original source of the myth.

Suffers from a delicate yet still functional mental state, reflected by her skill [Mental Pollution], responding well to positive reinforcement but very vulnerable to mistreatment, which can easily worsen her condition. Her wish for the Grail is to… return to the womb.

… My choice of catalyst has bit me in the rear, hasn't it? At least she can be easily distracted from her original goal. It only takes a good family life.

Somehow, I believe we have that covered.

"It's good to meet you, sweetie." I answer with a smile, kneeling down to put a hand on her shoulder. "I feel like we'll do great things together."

I can feel my heart melt at the way she leans into my hand like a cat. This girl is adorable! And those rags she's wearing aren't doing her justice. I think I can repurpose that shirt I had prepared for Ecchan into a proper sundress for her. And maybe I can make a real bodysuit for when she goes around as a Servant? It wouldn't be too hard to enchant a tail and cat ears so they react to the emotions of the wearer and…

"Mommy?"

"Nevermind me sweetie, Mommy was just lost in thought." I stand up, offering her a hand. "How about I show you around, and then we can find something to eat?"

She takes my hand with a cheer and, be that as it may, I can't bring myself to regret this little… mishap. She might be a bit young for Master to enjoy in the way I was hoping, I think. But I'm sure he'll trip over himself for the chance to spoil Assassin rotten. Master is a sucker for tragic stories like hers.