my life

my names are Beatrice Mwange,a female born in 1994 on the 18th of february.Growing up was a blessing and of course being born from African parent's was abit a wonderful blessing but a punishment to my mindset as I couldn't see good things in the African Norm as they appear to be punishment in my way of thinking how life should be .ohh yes I was termed in nyanja as "mwana wa ntonta" meaning the rebuker and no respect because of rebuking certain African norms cause they were not making sense and couldn't see any good in it.i vividly remember being told by my grandmother that every woman needs to do labia elongation for marriage purposes and pleasing a man.i was proudly against that because even as a child ,I never saw the use of that,I once tried and it was painful 😣 and I said to my self why doing this,I started hating life and ask God why must we be subjected to such all for a man,what does men do or go through to please a woman, secondly why didn't God create us with already long labia's if it was necessary?as many Africans can attestate,this act is really dominated such that a woman is not considered one if she doesn't do it and contributes to the self esteem of a woman. after years ,I never ever paid attention to the society wantings of my life,I chose to have peace and my own kind of life. I went to university and after finishing my school in 2017,I got pregnant for a man called James,I loved James so much such that he became my idol, but the feelings were not mutual,my commitments were in vain.i told him of the development of the pregnancy but he told me he wasn't ready and that I needed to terminate .what! I said to my self.this is a man that is financially stable. I decided not to do as he suggested, he rejected me and my child.I became a ridicule to society,by the way my childs name is blessings but society threw stones at me saying,how can the child be called blessing ! when she was born out of wedlock . Society failed a woman ,man failed a woman. I struggled to raise the child alone and at some extent went to victim support for him to take responsibility on a child but to no avail.. Man failed a woman ..