71: AN ORGAN-MOVING LETTER

SAM'S POV

"Magiging okay rin siya tita. Sabi naman ng doktor na makakalakad rin siya sa ilang linggo lang na pagpapahinga. Kailangan lang nating magdasal para sa paggaling niya.."

I heard that soothing voice said to some crying woman from my left. And I can feel someone was tightly clutching my hand right now.

"Dapat pinigilan ko talaga siyang umalis kanina. Kung hindi lang sana ako nagmatigas at naging duwag, she would've been fine right now at hindi ganito!" Then with that, mas lalo pa itong humagulgol while drenching my hand with her tears.

Kahit nakapikit man ako ngayon, I know it was my aunt--- no, it was my mother who was crying right now, blaming herself for what happened to me. And i know I was in a hospital right now with that familiar smell of antiseptics.

That disgusting smell..

Even if she had hidden the truth from me, she was still the only person na nasa tabi ko noon when I needed someone to comfort me.

I attempted to move to stop her from crying dahil hindi ko gustong umiiyak ito but I could barely move my body and I felt like I was badly hit with a baseball bat on my head dahil sa tindi ng sakit nito. I groaned at that in frustration.

Tightly gripping her hand, I tried to move again but I grimaced when an excruciating pain triggered from my lower body.

This made me more frustrated now dahil hindi ko man lang magawang kumilos ngayon. Ganun ba kalala ang pinsalang natamo ko kanina? I just bumped in a mere tree for goodness sake! At ba't di ko man lang maikilos tong mga paa ko ngayon??

"She's awake now!" Someone exclaimed from my right which is followed by a soft gasp from the other people present here.

"Call the doctor now, Liam!" I heard that familiar voice again, commanding Liam like she was just commanding someone under her age, someone like a kid.

Suzy.

So she was here and so is Liam. I wonder if Mr. Del Fuero was here as well. Gusto ko ring makita ito ngayon. Marami pa'kong gustong aminin rito at hindi ko man lang 'yon natapos kanina.

A protest groan sounded off from my right but I heard the door had opened and closed kaya naman alam kung tumalima agad si Liam kahit nagmamaktol ito.

I mentally smiled at that saka pinilit uling kumilos pero mas lalo pa'kong napapangiwi when it hurt like hell again.

"Samantha, please wag ka munang kumilos ngayon.." I heard my mother plead, sounding she was begging me to never move habang mahigpit lang itong nakahawak sa kaliwang kamay ko.

Kahit na gustung-gusto kong tumayo ngayon, pinili ko nalang na sundin ito and just fluttered my eyes open. I shut my eyes back when a bright light from the ceiling had blinded me.

I squeezed my eyes out before I attempted to open my eyes again. For a while, medyo blurry pa ang paningin ko but after a few seconds of just blinking up, soon my eyes were able to adjust from that bright light and then my gaze landed on the digital clock on the wall. It says it was already past seven in the evening.

The room was almost in white color. Napansin kong may mga nakakabit ng ilang aparatus sa kamay ko and I was already in a hospital gown. I turned to my left and then the worried look of Suzy and my crying mother appeared in the view.

They were smiling at me kahit na halatang may pag-aalala parin sa mga mata nila.

"Welcome back to earth, Samantha. Pinag-alala mo kami dun ah!"

I smiled at that when Suzy exclaimed that while my mom just kept wiping her tears from her eyes.

Ibubuka ko na sana ang bibig ko but I grimaced when I felt like I had swallowed a whole truck of sand kaya naman sumasakit ang lalamunan ko ngayon.

Oh shit. Nabangga lang naman ako kanina and I'm quite sure na hindi naman ako kumain ng espalto sa daan so why the hell now??

"Water. Uminom ka muna.."

I quickly sipped a drink from the glass of water na iniabot nya malapit sa bibig ko.

Dahil sa uhaw ko, naubos ko agad ang tubig na'yon and I felt refreshen with that.

Then my eyes scanned around me to check kung sino ang nandun. Suzy was smiling at me with gladness was just standing beside my aunt and then---- Liam na kakapasok lang uli sa maliit na silid na'yon with a man in a doctor's outfit was behind him.

And no one else. No bastard was even present around.

Disappointment instantly crept inside me.

Hindi man lang ba nya ko pinuntahan rito? Hindi man lang ba nya'ko gustong makita dahil ako, I'm dying to see him right now! And my legs won't even move para mapuntahan at maupakan ko man lang ito ngayon dahil sa hindi pagdalaw nito.

That shit!

"Ms. Javier. Anong nararamdaman mo ngayon? Wala ka bang ibang nararamdamang sakit sa katawan mo? " I heard the doctor from my right inquired.

I just nodded at him kahit na gusto kong sabihin may sumasakit sa loob ng dibdib ko and seeing that bastard was the only cure to that and nothing else.

"Your right leg would take a few weeks or months para tuluyan itong gumaling kaya.." rinig kong saad ng doktor sa'kin as he went on with his two-pages long findings and advise which I just answered with a slow nod, not really listening to it dahil alam ko namang medyo malala ang natamo kong pinsala.

But I just need to see that bastard right now. Naisip man lang ba nya'kong puntahan nya'ko rito?

"....In two to three days, pwede kanang lumabas rito, Ms. Javier." Rinig kong patapos na saad ng doktor sa'kin. Tumango lang uli ako rito and when he bid his goodbye at tuluyan ng nakaalis sa silid na'yon, lumingon na'ko agad kay Liam who was tightly smiling at me.

"Where is he, Liam?"

Napapakunot nalang ako ng noo when his face suddenly turned straight and then shrugged at me.

"Busy. Sinabi niyang sobrang busy nya Sam kaya hindi na muna siya makakapunta rito..."

Mas lalo pa'kong nanlumo dahil doon.

Hindi na muna siya makakapunta rito...

Napapatiim na lamang ako ng bagang as I tightly balled my fists in annoyance. That bastard really want a beating from me kapag nakalabas na'ko rito!

Pagkatapos kong aminin sa gagong 'yon na gusto ko sya and now, malalaman ko nalang na hindi man lang ito dadalaw rito???!

A good beatings was really in accordance here! Kung hindi lang sana nakasemento tong paa ko ngayon, I could've given him a good kick on his face right now!

"He' was just too busy right now Sam dahil may inasikaso lang itong bagay ngayon sa opisina niya." Liam added which just made me more annoyed.

Busy! He was busy! Alam ko namang busy ito lage pagdating sa kompanya nya pero kahit ilang minuto man lang sana, why can't he spend that much of his time for me??!

That made me more frustrated now.

"Is he busy with business meetings again? A business 'dates' perhaps?" Inis na tanong ko rito with bared teeth as I gave Liam a glare that made him swallowed hard.

"Oh. Yes. Parang ganun na nga.. Business meetings and dates! He was busy with that!""

That made my eyes narrowed at him, suspicious with his voice exclaiming that na para bang kinokumbinsi nito ang sarili na ganun nga ang ginagawa nito.

I think he was hiding something from me.

"Sino na naman ang kabusiness date nya ngayon, Liam? Is it Gloria again or that barbie doll foreigner? Sino?"

"I think..."

I groaned when he seems he was still trying to find some answers in his mind.

May tinatago nga ito sa'kin and that bastard was really doing something na ayaw nitong malaman ko.

"Ang totoo niyan, Samantha.."

I turned to my mother--- when I heard her uttered that.

"Cameron had called me this afternoon na hindi na muna siya makakapunta rito. May mahahalagang bagay lang siyang aasikasuhin ngayon that needs his immediate attention. Sasabihin niya lang 'yon sa'yo kapag naayos na niya ang bagay na'yon."

I just bared my teeth more with that, with them kept giving me those vague statements!

"Pwede bang diretsahin niyo nalang ako ngayon? Ano ba talagang aasikasuhin ng gagong 'yon that you can't tell me what exactly he was doing right now?? " Inis ko ng asik sa mga ito, now losing out the little patience I have in me.

"It was business meetings, Sam. You know Cameron needs to---"

"I can feel you're all hiding something from me..."

When I just receive silence from them, napapatango-tango na lamang ako as that confirms my suspicion.

May tinatago nga sila sa'kin.... and that made me feel more disappointed.

May ginagawa nga ang gagong 'yon ngayon na hindi niya gustong malaman ko. Probably I was right na kasama na naman nito ang mga babae nito ngayon.

Just the thought na may kasama itong mga babae ngayon, I can't help but grit my teeth.

"Just tell him na ayokong makita ang pagmumukha nya rito, Liam. Magpakasaya sana siya sa kung anumang kagaguhang ginagawa nya ngayon. Gusto ko ng magpahinga uli.." tanging saad ko na lamang sa kanila maya-maya then without letting them utterred any response, ipinikit ko na uli ang mga mata ko, not wanted to hear any excuses from them of why he can't come.

At ayoko ring makita nila na gusto ko ng maiyak ngayon, hindi dahil kumikirot yong mga paa ko kundi dahil sa hindi pagpunta ng gagong 'yon!

Maybe he was just lying nang sabihin nyang gusto nya ko dahil akala niya siguro, mapipigilan ako ng mga salitang 'yon na hanapin ang file na'yon..

That made me heaved a frustrated breath while gritting my teeth.

I heard them let out a resigned sighs at nanatili lang na tahimik ang mga ito.

I just stayed like that, kept cursing his name in my mind with closed eyes hanggang sa tuluyan na'kong nakatulog. I didn't even noticed Liam and Suzy left until I woke up in the morning. Only aunt was left para matiyagang bantayan ako.

At kahit ilang araw na'kong nakakulong lang sa silid na'yon, hindi parin kami nito nag-uusap uli ng masinsinan dahil hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang tawagin itong mom or just aunt na syang nakasanayan ko na. Pero sa pag-aalaga nito sa'kin, nararamdaman ko naman rito ang pagiging ina nito sa'kin.

Dahil sa kagustuhan kong gumaling at makalakad agad, pinilit ko na ang sarili ko na makatayo man lang without even a help from anyone. I've even undergone regular therapy sessions just to recover that fast. I was just too eager to beat some bastard to wait a few weeks or a month to recover.

Nababagot na rin ako rito just doing nothing and my phone was nowhere to be found. Siguro naiwan sa loob ng sasakyan ko nang bumangga ako. At ang nakakainis pa, wala man lang ibang mapaglilibangan sa lugar na'to. I even wonder why my room hadn't had any TV inside. I wanted to think na sinadya yon ni auntie but no, there's no reason for her to do that. I guess that's just the shitty perks of being admitted in a very cheap hospital.

At sa ilang araw na pamamalagi ko rito, still no bastard had appeared to see me na siyang mas ikinaiinis ko pa lalo.

Liam and Suzy were the only people na laging bumibisita sa'kin para kumustahin ako. Gaya ngayon, magkasama na naman ang mga ito.

And them being always together, di ko mapigilang magduda sa mga ito. They could be together by now at hindi ko lang 'yon alam. But seeing Suzy seems like she had the upperhand over this playboy Liam, mas minabuti ko nalang na tumahimik at hayaan na muna ang mga ito.

I have my own issue to sort out than meddle with them.

My abnormal heart.

I was just blankly staring outside of the window habang nakaupo lang sa wheelchair ko. Stupidly hoping that some bastard would come out from one of the car na hihinto sa baba. Pero ilang araw ko ng ginagawa 'yon but still, not even a shadow of him appeared.

At mas lalo pa'kong nanlulumo dahil dun..

Mga iilang maliliit na establishments at bahay lang ang nasa labas with a few people outside. Hindi masyadong asensado ang lugar na'to. And this place was just too small para magkaroon ng maluwag na hardin sa labas para dun magpahangin ang mga pasyente rito. Aunt Rose was just outside, talking to my doctor.

"I guess you were doing well here, Samantha. Mukhang malaki na ang nagiging improvements mo just a few days na pananatili mo rito." Liam's voice from my left pulled me out of my deep thoughts nang sabihin niya 'yon.

Huminga muna ako ng malalim before I answered him with a bitter smile.

"Hirap parin akong makatayo ng maayos sa sarili kong mga paa, Liam. And this place wasn't helping me at all dahil sa liit nito. Nababagot na rin ako rito that was why I submitted a request to my doctor this morning na sa bahay nalang ako magpapagaling. Gusto kong makalakad agad dahil may mga bagay pa'kong dapat gawin after I recover from this." I informed him without even looking at their way, just staring outside.

Instead of answering me, I heard them kept whispering in a rather noisy way sa likuran ko causing me to frown. Parang nagtatalo na naman yata ang mga taong 'to ngayon.

For a few seconds, nagpatuloy lang sila sa kakabulong but when I think Liam lose in their argument, he quickly cleared out his throat before he talk.

"Ah by the way Samantha, may pinaaabot nga pala sa'yo si Cameron--"

His mouth snapped shut nang bigla na'kong lumingon sa kanya pagkarinig ko palang dun.

"What was that?" I queried with creased brows. I just wonder why the hell he'd send something for me this time.

Kahit na galit ako rito dahil sa hindi man lang pagdalaw nito sa'kin, I just can't help myself but feel excited about it.

Liam with a stupid grin in his face quickly handed me a small white envelope. With confused eyes, tinanggap ko nalang 'yon while looking at it with puzzled look.

Kung hindi ko pa alam kung gaano kakuripot ito, I would've thought it has money inside but no. Hinding-hindi 'yon gagawin ng gago because his cents was just too precious for him para ibigay 'yon sa'kin.

"What's this, Liam? Anong meron sa envelope na'to?"

"Dahil hindi siya makakapunta rito, I've suggested him to write a letter for you to explain why he can't come and visit you here."

That made my brow arched up.

So even making this letter, kailangan pa siyang pwersahin ng kaibigan niya?

That made me mentally shook my head and with a sigh, binuksan ko nalang ang envelope na'yon saka binuklat ang sulat nito.

Ms. Javier,

The following would be my expenses If I were going to visit you in a regular basis.

1. My precious time.

2. Gasolina.

3. My precious effort in driving for hours just to get there.

You know I abhored wasting my time and fortune so I assumed you can understand my reasons.

C.D.F.

After reading the most heartfelt--as in an organ-moving letter from that bastard, nakuyamos ko nalang ang sulat niyang 'yon while heaving up a frustrated breath and with clenched teeth.

So this was his stupid reasons why he can't come! That shit!! Godknows how much I wanted to kill him right now kung nandito lang ito ngayon!

"May problema ba, Sam? Are you not happy with it?"

Hearing Liam's innocent question, I just groaned habang mahigpit lang na hawak-hawak ang sulat niyang 'yon.

"I am so deeply touched with his letter, Liam." I slowly answered in a growl habang mariing nakatiim lang ang mga bagang.

So that was why he can't come... Pwes, kung yon nga, then I guess I have to write him a response letter then para malaman naman nito kung ano ang gusto ko.

With that thought, I turned to the two na maiging nakamasid lang sa'kin with questions in their eyes.

"May papel at ballpen ba kayo diyan ngayon?"

Suzy quickly nodded at me saka binuksan na nito ang dala-dala nitong maliit na sling bag sa gilid nito and in just a second, may iniabot na agad itong malinis na papel at ballpen sa'kin.

Taking that, I quickly scribbled a response for him.

YOU GRANITE-HEADED BASTARD,

AYOKONG MASAYANG ANG ORAS AT PERA MO KAYA NAMAN, NEVER LET ME SEE YOUR FACE EVER AGAIN! IF YOU WOULD BE SO KIND TO GRANT MY WISH, PLEASE DO SO!

PS. I'M ITCHING TO PUT SOME BULLET ON YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW. I-HATE-YOU!

SAM

I quickly folded that saka iniabot 'yon pati na ang ginamit kong ballpen kay Liam who just kept looking at me with puzzled look in his eyes. Tinanggap naman nya ito.

"Make sure to send my letter to him, Liam. Magpapahinga na'ko. Salamat uli sa pagdalaw nyo sa'kin." Then with that, I turned back to the window again habang nagpupuyos parin sa galit dahil sa sulat nyang 'yon.

"Aalis na kami Sam, magpagaling ka okay?" Rinig kong paalam ni Suzy sa'kin with a tap on my shoulder which I just stiffly nodded without even looking at her.

I was just too disappointed right now and I don't want them to see me almost ready to burst in tears now.

"Magpagaling ka agad, Samantha. We'll pray for your fast recovery." Liam added.

I just nodded again nang hindi parin lumilingon sa kanila. And then in a few seconds, narinig ko ng bumukas at sumara ang pinto sa silid na'yon.

Pagkaalis nila, hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at napaiyak na'ko ng tuluyan. Silently crying just because of that bastard!

Sa dinami-rami ng iiyakan ko, ito pa talaga ang dahilan nun! Since I had became so attached with him, parang nagiging iyakin na' yata ako. Mukhang nagiging mahina na'ko...

Gustung-gusto ko ng makita ito pero parang wala naman itong planong bisitahin man lang ako rito. Kung naging maingat lang sana ako sa pagmamaneho, then I would've been already beating him up now at hindi yong nakaupo lang rito at hindi man lang magawa ang gusto kong gawin ngayon sa kanya.

Nang marinig ko na namang bumukas uli ang pintuan sa likuran ko, I quickly wiped my tears from my face, not wanted to let anyone see me crying right now.

Ayokong makita ako ng kahit sinong nurse rito na umiiyak na parang kung sinong brokenhearted na babae just because the man she liked so much didn't even bother to visit her here.

I sniffed and then dried up my tears habang nanatili lang na nakatingin sa labas.

But I frowned when after awhile, wala man lang akong naririnig na salita o kaluskos man lang sa silid na'yon indicating that someone was in this room with me. At kung si Auntie 'yon, she'll definitely advise me to take a rest now pero hindi. Parang wala naman akong kasama rito ngayon.

Siguro guni-guni ko lang 'yon dahil-----

"You are crying again."

That made me froze on my seat as my breathing suddenly halted just hearing that familiar deep voice.

D-Did I just heard him saying that right now or guni-guni ko lang 'yon?

Afraid to turn around and find out that I was just hearing things, I just stayed motionless in my wheelchair with held breath.