CHAPTER 19 (1)
A sudden visit from the guy that I hate -1.
It was almost 11:30 pm when I finished working. I went inside the taxi then I quickly went inside the apartment. I live alone in a small apartment you see. Despite that our family is rich, my relationship with my parents is not that good you know. That’s why I’ve been living alone. I was eating alone with my ramen but I was surprised that he was there. What is that Intern Accountant even doing in front of my house? I decided to put away my manuscripts since he was there and I was quite distracted by them. Is he here because I forgot something at work or something more? Is that why he’s here? I should have cleaned my room first, I can’t let him see my BL posters and especially my manuscripts that were scattered around there’s no way that I’d let him see that. Anyways I shouldn’t let him wait for too much or I’ll be dead.
I suddenly gulped a bit. He seems weird these past few days. Is it because of Cheng Yaozu? I don’t understand him. I decided to hurry and opened the door quickly for him, “Chang Heng? What’s the sudden visit for?” I asked.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m visiting you.”He said seriously and he got closer to me and he hissed, “Aren’t you gonna let me in?”
“I–I got it!” I quickly opened the door widely so that he can enter my house. But before I let him on the sofa, I pushed him a little and then I smiled at him, “Hey just a sec. Let me clean first okay? It wouldn’t be too long.” I told him and I quickly took off my heels and I hurried towards my room. Gosh! All my underwear was scattered around. This looked so pigsty. I haven’t fixed them and I rarely had time to clean seriously. I decided to grabbed my clothes and put them under my bed. I guess I was just focused on my manuscripts in BL right?
I quickly fixed everything in my bed as soon as possible. Geez, It would be terrible if he finds out about it. I rubbed off my sweat and I sighed deeply, looks like I managed to clean my room from what I wanted so I guess this will be fine now. Plus I don’t want him to find out something inside my room. Like my type of clothes perhaps. I---It’s a girl thing. I have some private matters that I hide so it’s my right to hide them. After that, I quickly went after him and I decided to let him inside, “You can enter now.” I told him
“I thought it would take forever. You got a nice place. You live alone?” He suddenly asked me and I just nodded at him. This place was just small yet I’m already content with what I already have in here. I choose this place because it was near the company. My father wanted to help me but I don’t want to wish for something from him. After he got disgusted by me from being a BL Writer? And why would I wish on something to him? I’m not after our family’s money or something. I don’t care where I lived as long as I have someplace to treat as home then it was more important other than everything else.
I cleared out my throat and I looked at him seriously, “So, why did you visit me?” I suddenly asked him. Because this is confusing me. I wanted to know what intentions he have for me. It’s not that I was assuming about the two of us because I know my place. That’s why I know that I shouldn’t have any hope towards our relationship because whatever we had, for now, is just the sake of our deal that’s why we’re agreeing to meet up. I’m so confused about how I feel honestly. Just the other day, he suddenly changed. He never even treated me so nicely before.
What was the truth behind it? Does he have anything to do with Beijing before? Does he know about what happened 10 years ago? I honestly don’t know. I’m so confused about this. I wanted to know the truth. And if ever he’s that kind of guy then I wanted to hear it from him then. He got closer to me and he suddenly touches my cheeks and he kissed me.
He never looked at me like this before. What does he feel about me? I never imagine myself being attracted to someone like him. I gripped his tie then I closed my eyes and I kisses him back. I could feel the intensity of our kisses. I breathed so hard and he kisses me even more deeply. It’s confusing me, I can’t even push him away. His kisses are way too different. I don’t understand why I felt this way to him.
He touches my cheeks and he stared at me with that kind of eyes again. The way that he stared at me right now was different. It’s as if he was telling me that he loved me. I can’t even look away right now. I suddenly touched on my cheeks and I couldn’t stop myself from blushing right now. “Satsuki, I know that you got a lot of questions but please believe me. I would never allow anyone to hurt you.” Chang Heng said and I couldn’t help but blush at him. What will I just say to him in this kind of situation then? Even I was so confused too. Just like what he said, I was so confused and I got a lot of questions to ask him.
“Then please, do tell me...do you not get along with your family? There’s a lot of things that were confusing me right now.” I told him
He suddenly got so quiet and he sighed deeply, “Yes. And I don’t want to be with my family right now. Especially to my twin brother who just wanted me to die.” He said seriously and he messes up his hair and he looked like he was in pain when he talks about his brother. I have never seen Chang Heng like this before. For him to show his weak side, I just didn’t expect this. And he wasn’t the type of person who will just randomly open up with his family. All I know is that he was a perfectionist and he never made a single mistake in his whole life. That’s how he is. Well, I’m not that interested in his issues anyways. Most people see me as a weird one that’s why when they found out about my secret they will just run away from me. But for him, he was different from them.
It’s weird but, I never thought that I could have found someone like him. That not all men can be like Yuuto. I got closer to him and I put my fingers on my chin, “Twin brother?”
“Yes. He wanted me to die. He was so mad at me and I couldn’t understand why. Because whenever my parents were outside he would always bully me. When I was studying alone, he would push me away from the bed. Then he would always throw the chocolate cake on my face. He likes to humiliate me in front of his friends and our classmates as well. Because of that guy, my life was messed up. Only my sister who was always there for me.” He said seriously and I bit my lip and a tear escaped from my eyes and then I held his hand.
That sounds like Chang. Hey, Intern Accountant is it true that you’re just the same person then? I’m not losing my hope that you were that kid. I just hope that I find the truth. I was surprised when I saw his neck. Those burns and that mark that he got from a bullet. I can’t help but feel so shocked when I saw those. There’s no way right? How can he get those?
That’s impossible. I gulped a bit and I decided to take off his necktie and unbutton his uniform to check his body. I put my hands on my mouth and I was just shocked at what I saw right now. I didn’t know. How did he get these things? Is it him? My first love? From what he’s explaining right now it’s not surprising that he and that kid before was the same person then. I got closer to his neck and I was trembling a lot and I tried touching his burns, “Wait a minute, how did you get these? I have never seen it before..” I told him and I suddenly got even more worried about him. If he was that person, then I wanted to hear it from him. I wanted him to tell the truth.