Chapter 1 - 2

If someone asks me what part of school life I like the most, the most honest answer I could give is 'walking back to my house'. Everyone has reasons to stay in school like friends or clubs. Even if I'm not there they'll stay back and enjoy this time together which means I can walk all the way alone without having to speak to anyone.

It had become something of a routine for me to watch all the students playing in the courtyard. Different areas occupied by different sports. As a rule of nature, the majority will always take away everything and others will be shoved to the side in the name of compromise. Sports with less people playing them are given smaller spaces toward the edge of the courtyard and those that need more people are given the whole stage.

I'm not opposed to this way of doing things. It's a good way to manage space and every player is given enough space, no one can complain about this. Afterall, if you desire something unreasonable you will end up clashing with others and seen as the enemy.

Question: How are problems between people solved?

Answer: One side has to compromise for the sake of others.

A compromise that affects the least people. But that doesn't just include the people within the problem, it also includes people that are affected by the people facing the problem. Which means it's just a popularity contest, and in the center of it all is Watari Washirou.

Ever since I decided to live a life as a background character I've had to develop a high sense of observation. Without even having to talk to them you can pretty much guess what a person is thinking just by observing their movements.

There are a few times I let my curiosity run wild and this is one of those times. I want to know if the rumors have any weight to them, not because I want to expose him or something petty like that. To put it simply, I know the value of information and how to use it.

In the center of the center field he ran toward the opponent's goal. His golden hair flowing in the wind, his face reflecting the sunlight due to the sweat makes it feel like he's shining. How can someone look so much like the main character from some western high school romance movie? The ball in front of him, holding it within his reign, as if it is tied to his feet with a thread. A defender tries to tackle him from the right, sliding right in front of Watari, but it is useless, Watari jumps over the defender at the last second giving him a chance to face the keeper one-on-one. Once Watari kicks the ball it's over, the ball is too fast for the keeper to react. The ball, curving mid air takes its place in the left top corner of the goal.

With that final goal everyone is cheering for Watari, but that's not important. What's important is who Watari will see, if it's true that he is involved with someone he will look at them, unconsciously. If someone achieves something and they are involved with someone they show their appreciation to them by the look that basically says, that's for you. It's basically a way to show off. Since Akane is still in class that means Watari can give that look to the person he is involved with right now, if that person exists.

"Well that was a waste."

He didn't give that look to anyone, he celebrated his victory with his comrades, ignoring the whole flock of girls who were celebrating this victory with him.

I continued my routine by walking alone.

***

Having more time today I had decided to take the path through the city shopping district.

It was a mistake.

"Yo it's Youhei, it's definitely Youhei."

What do you mean definitely? How many people have you mistaken for me? And don't use my first name like we are super close.

"We thought you had to go home early, what you doing here?" Erica asked, her eyes widening.

I feel like I'm being interrogated here.

"I was just, you know, uhh, getting some shopping done… which was the reason I had to leave early." That should be convincing enough, it's a shopping center. "I thought you guys would spend more time in the class, how come you are here?" (you stalkers)

All three of them avert their gaze, something that was piercing me a moment ago is now trying to pretend I don't exist. Their faces which were leaning into me now can't even look at me. Erica staring at the wall makes it so I can only look at half of her face, as she finds herself at a loss of words the moment is filled by a nervous laugh, Haruma drags himself back leaning toward the corner as if to look for someone, Kenshi's eyes have been glued to the ground this whole time.

The positions have changed now, I'm the one interrogating them. The situation is in my hands, I can use this.

Pulling my head up and tilting it a little to my left, crossing my arms, straightening my back I squint my eyes a little, making sure they know that I'm on to whatever game they were playing, I ask, "What's going on here?"

"W-We just decided, you know, to come here." Kenshi tries his best to make some excuse.

Knowing that someone has done wrong is the best. You can easily play with someone who knows they are in trouble because of their actions. It's moments like these that make me believe I made the right choice becoming a part of this group.

I'm gonna enjoy this moment to the fullest.

"Oh really? What made you decide to come to the shopping district of all places?"

The shopping district did have a lot of shops to buy things but they aren't the kind of people who just buy things on such a short - or in this case - no notice, they are more likely to go to areas that have places to eat, there aren't many places like that in the shopping district.

With Erica whispering something while glancing toward Kenshi it's confirmed he made a mistake calling out to me. I wasn't supposed to be part of this, whatever this is.

"They got out of the shop… and there's a bag, if we don't go now we'll lose–" it seems Haruma had forgotten I had entered the scene, which he only realizes as he notices everyone staring at him. Whenever he gets excited he forgets everything around him.

"Going away? Who is? Don't tell me you really are stalking someone?" I step toward the corner to see who Haruma is talking about.

Both Erica and Haruma look towards each other, their eyes widening, Haruma tries to say something to try to stop me but in his panic all his words come out as indistinguishable noises.

I can tell Erica is getting restless as her body starts moving on itself. Her legs move like she is walking however her position stays the same, her whole head swiping from side to side. Seeing no other way to stop me she pushes Kenshi toward me thinking he might be able to stop me or at least buy some time.

But I know Kenshi, he lets out a sigh when he gets back the control over himself that was taken from him by Erica's push, he won't stop me. He has already given up on stopping me.

I reach the end of the wall and turn around the corner. I can see who they were following and finally understand why they were trying so hard to not let me see their prey.

"You really can't let things go, can you?" I turn around, taking support by the wall.

"So that was your big plan? Stalking Watari Washirou?"

"Well… We saw him with that girl… and we just want to make sure - " Haruma replied, still looking down, averting his eyes from me.

"Make sure that something is going on between them, right? Sigh… Just leave this whole thing."

"But see he is with that girl right now, something has to be going on between them." Erica declared with her eyes staring right at me, even I was moved by her confidence.

There's no other way, if I want to get out of here I have to hear them out. It doesn't matter anyway I'll just make them think they convinced me.

"Fine. Who was he with?"

What's with those empty faces, don't look at each other like that. What happened to that confidence you showed a moment earlier?

Did you really not see who the other person was?

"W-W-Well we know it was a girl."

That's not enough information. My palm instinctively moved my face, not because the three of them together had failed to collect the most important piece and yet were so confident about their theory, but because I let myself fall for that confidence.

"Look it doesn't matter who she was, now we know he's cheating so you can tell Akane and you'll be seen as the hero in her eyes." Kenshi puts his hand on my shoulder, as I put my hand down I can notice his eyes sparkling.

"And don't worry we will make sure you get the chance to talk to her"

"You've done enough." I mutter, as my eyes widen and a look of disbelief takes over my face.

"You don't have to thank us, this is what friends do." Haruma's face turns into a crooked smile, he is showing me thumbs up.

I am not thanking you idiots. This is not friendship, this is something my worst enemy would do. I have to get out of here. I turn the corner and start walking. I hear them calling out to me but I keep walking without turning back.

To those who think that someone with no friends has the worst experience possible when it comes to school life, outcasts do not have to worry about situations caused by others affecting them. They have the freedom to live on their terms. Who they wanna talk to or if they want to talk, the choice is theirs to make. With that kind of choice you can form your own experience according to your needs and wants. An experience that you are choosing is the best experience you can have.

If interacting with others is supposed to be something you do for fun then why is it forced on everyone? Every other "fun" activity is subjective for each person, some may like to watch a movie while others like to read, no one forces a reader to watch a movie and neither of them are looked down on. Reading or watching are experiences that a person chooses for themselves and they choose what's best for them. If we are allowing someone to define their own fun then why do we look down on people that can have fun alone? If someone doesn't need friends to enjoy their life then why look down on them? In fact shouldn't we strive to become more like them so that even when we have no one we don't have to suffer any pain of being alone?

If we all can enjoy the experience we have with ourselves there won't be any loneliness.

Having the choice to decide who you wanna give your time to is the reason I'll always be envious of loners.