Do I Disgust You? 2.

It was anything but a pleasant dinner. Maria and Thomas were already seated when the two flushed teens came down the stairs.

Unaware of the prior incident, Maria did her best to keep the conversation going, without receiving much help. Melvin answered her questions politely but kept glancing at Liv, who kept looking over at Thomas.

"It's so nice of you to help Liv out with math", Maria said and smiled at Melvin.

Thomas looked down at his plate, darkly amused, but Liv made sure to interrupt him before he had the chance to say anything.

"Yes, he's great. He's taught me lots."

"I'll say", Thomas muttered under his breath and Liv stared daggers at him, blushing even more. Melvin looked as if he might laugh but Maria seemed oblivious.

"Sorry, what did you say, Tommy?"

"Oh nothing. Just that when I went up to fetch them their diligence really showed."

His voice was scornful and... and that something else again. That thing, that emotion she couldn't quiet pinpoint. Feeling like she had been punched in the gut, Liv realised it was disgust. Pure, ill-suppressed disgust.

The meal went on and Maria kept looking as clueless as ever. Thomas thought she was being unreasonably naive. In front of her sat two teenagers, blushing like crazy, lips all swollen from... A wave of nausea hit him. Should not have thought of that. He dropped his knife and fork so that they slammed against the plate. Coughing he got up, excused himself and left the table. "Tommy? Are you alright? You've barely touched your food."

Maria sounded worried but he just kept on coughing, mumbled something about having to get a call from work, and rushed outside. She sighed and looked immensely regretful.

"He works too much, our Tommy. Far too young for it too."

If Liv hadn't been so busy feeling shellshocked about the fact that she apparently revolted Thomas, she would have rolled her eyes at her mother's comment. Maria had never had to worry about money. She had been able to choose to live out her rather futile attempt at life as an artist. As was common amongst people born into wealth, she couldn't quite grasp the inexorable fact that people less fortunate needed money, that working meant food, paying of bills, survival in general. Both Liv and Arvid saw their mother as a bit of a fairytale princess, never having anything but the greatest of intentions yet without much understanding about how complicated life could really be. However, all Liv could currently think about was Thomas. How his mouth had twisted, his brows furrowed and how his throat had moved when he swallowed with difficulty.

Icy air poured into Thomas's lungs. He knew he had no right, no fucking right to feel this way, to react, to behave this way. He went behind a corner of the house and leaned against the stone facade, practically hyperventilating. Almost unconscious of it, he fumbled for a cigarette.

After chain-smoking three, the nausea started to subside and his breaths got more regular. Still he was lighting a fourth one when the house door swung open. He pressed himself harder against the wall.

"I'm so sorry. I swear he's not usually so... hostile."

Liv's vivid voice.

"Don't be sorry. It was an... an experience alright", Melvin laughed, "Maybe your brother can make it next time and then they can both beat me to death."

The voices trailed off and he exhaled, was just about to put the cigarette to his lips again when it was snatched out of his hand.

"Liv! Jesus. Don't touch that!"

Liv raised it to her own mouth with a teasing smile.

"This one's mine now."

She spun in the snow, hair all tousled in semi curls. Despite the cold her cheeks were still adorably flushed. It actually hurt to look at her, so he focused on a point just behind her instead. He scolded himself for not having heard her approach. Again.

"You said you'd stop", she said, sounding genuinely disappointed.

"Yeah well you said you'd never steal those from me again, remember?", he retorted and made an attempt to retrieve it from her but she stepped out of reach.

"Guess we're both liars then."

Liv put the cigarette in between her lips.

"Honestly! Stop. I don't want you near those. See Arvid would... Your mom would..."

"Would what? Maybe I'll just tell them you've been giving them to me as a favour. You'd deserve that after acting like that at dinner. You almost told mom..."

Threateningly she waved the cigarette in his face.

"I should have. And you should show me some fucking gratitude for not doing it."

"Give it up! It was nothing anyways!"

"Nothing? Certainly didn't look like that."

Liv's smile had faltered completely.

"You're so disgusted by me aren't you? You think I can't tell but it's obvious."

Thomas clenched his jaw, shook his head and avoided her furious gaze.

"Won't you look at me at least!? Am I that disgusting?"

She took a step closer and stared up at him. He wanted to step back but he was already standing back against the wall. Not that close, not this close, was all he could think. She had to be knowing what she was doing to him.

"Liv...", he muttered warningly and turned to the side.

Coming even closer she angled her face so that it was just inches away from his.

"Do I... disgust you, Thomas?", she whispered, a faint tremble in her voice.

Something flashed across his face.

"No, but you do know you don't owe him anything just because he helps you with math, right?" That was not at all what she had expected and she stumbled backwards. Furious tears welled up in her eyes. The subtext was loud and clear: <i>slut.

</i>"You've no fucking right, you know that?"

Her tone was hurt and unstable.

"You can't just show up when you feel like it and meddle in my life, play big brother for a while. Just... God! Back off!"

It was silent for a couple of moments. Snow had begun to fall.

"Sure."

He left her staring after him, compelling himself to not look over his shoulder even once.