71. His Gone?

|| Marsha Sandoval ||

Napa daing ako dahil sa sakit ng ulo ko matapos akong mapa-bangon sa hinihigaan ko. Sabay, napa-hawak naman ako sa'king sentido.

Sandali nga. Nasaan ako? S-saang lugar 'to?

Bumalikwas ako ng tayo sa higaan na inuupuan ko habang iginagala ko ang mga mata ko sa paligid. Sandali'y naman ay may naalala ako tungkol dun sa nangyari sa'min ni Logan pag-labas namin ng hospital.

Halos parang nanghina ang buo kong katawan nang maalala ko yung nangyari kay Logan. Naalala ko na hinampas siya sa kanyang ulo ng malakas gamit yung baril na hawak nung lalaking naka-suot ng bonnet sa mukha nung naka-talikod siya. Pagdaka'y napa-bagsak siya sa sahig. Habang ako naman ay nag-pupumilit na sumigaw at manlaban sa kanila, pero kaagad nila akong tinakpan ng panyo sa bibig. Hanggang sa nawalan ako ng malay dahil sa pabango na nalanghap ko mula 'don sa panyo.

Sandali'y pumatak ang aking luha sa'king pisngi nang maalala ko yung mga pangyayari na iyon.

S-si Logan..kailangan ko siyang balikan doon.. kailangan niya ako..

Kaagad akong tumakbo papunta sa pinto nang matanaw ko iyon mula dito sa kinatatayuan ko. Sandaling hindi ko pa magawang buksan ang pinto ng narinig kong may boses na tumawag sa akin.

"Marsha.." napa-punas ako sa'king luha, kasunod ay humarap ako sa'king likuran kung saan nang-galing yung boses na 'yon.

"S-steven?" bumalot naman sa akin ang pag-tataka ng makita ko siya.

Nakita kong naglakad siya papunta sa akin at normal lang ekspresyon nito. Binalot naman ako sandali ng katanungan sa isip ko.

Nasaang lugar ba ako? Bakit nandito siya at mag-kasama kami dito?

"N-nasaan ako Steven? P-paano ako napunta dito? S-saan mo ako dinala?!" halos mapa-sigaw na ako nang sunod-sunod ko siyang tinanong. Kasabay 'non ay halos mapahagulgol na ako dahil sa'king pag-iyak.

"Sshh..you're in a safe place okay? Don't cry.." nakatakip ang aking mga palad sa'king mukha habang patuloy pa rin ako sa pag-iyak. Naramdaman ko naman sandali ang malamig niyang yakap sa akin nang isinandal niya ang aking ulo sa kanyang dibdib.

"N-nasaan ba kasi ako, Steven?! S-sabihin mo sakin! G-gusto kong malaman.." halos magkanda-utal kong binibigkas habang patuloy pa rin ako sa pag-iyak at pag-hikbi. Para namang bumibigat ang pakiramdam ko at sumisikip ang dibdib ko.

Pinunasan niya ang luha ko nang hawakan niya ako sa'king mukha, pagkatapos ay iniharap niya iyon sa kanya. Sandali'y napag-wari ko na may pasa ang gilid ng kanyang labi at may pasa sa kaliwang pisngi niya sa kanyang mukha. At maalala kong dahil iyon sa away nila ni Logan kagabi.

"Marsha, I'll say it to you but I need your trust first. Will you trust me?" maigi ko siyang tinignan ng mabuti habang sinusuri ang kanyang mga mata. Pagdaka'y napa-tango ako sa kanya.

"We're here in my house, in a far place. I-i just wanted to help you because of what happened to you lately." malumanay niyang sabi. Hindi pa rin niya inaalis ang kanyang tingin sa akin.

Medyo naguluhan naman ako sa sinabi niya kaya binalot naman ako ng pag-tataka. Still, parang nakaramdam naman ako ng pagod sa'king katawan.

"P-pero bakit? Saka bakit kailangang mo pa akong dalhin dito? Saka si Logan..nasaan si Logan? Kailangan niya ako! Kailan ko siyang makita!" parang nawawala sa sarili kong sabi. Halos pigilan niya na ako sa pag-iyak ko ulit at pag-susumakit ko na mabuksan ulit yung pintuan, pero hindi ko magawang buksan iyon. Napa-kulong nalang ako sa kanyang mga bisig habang patuloy sa pag-iyak at pag-hibkbi. Naramdaman ko ang kanyang malalim na pagbuntong-hininga.

"Marsha. Listen to me, okay? You should not go there because he's already gone.." napa-harap ako sa kanya ng mag-pantig ang mga tenga ko sa sinabi niya. Natilihan ako sandali.

S-si Logan? Patay? Ano bang sinasabi niya? Nag-papatawa ba siya?

Napa-tawa ako ng marahan. "U-ulitin mo 'yong sinabi mo..h-hindi pa siya patay! B-buhay si Logan! B-buhay pa siya!" ubos lakas kong sabi. Pagdaka'y pumatak naman ang aking luha sa kaliwa kong pisngi habang naka-tingin pa rin ako sa kanya.

Napa-iwas siya sandali ng tingin sa'kin. Napa-halukipkip siya kasunod ay ang pagbuntong-hininga. Ibinalik niya ulit ang tingin niya sa'kin saka siya nagsalita.

"He's already dead Marsha. He's declared as death on arrival a yesterday.." natilihan ako sandali sa sinabi niya. Parang halos gumulo ang mundo ko dahil sa sinabi niyang 'yon.

Pilit akong ngumiti kahit na nararamdaman ko na parang ilang beses dinudurog ang puso ko. Parang nawalan ako ng lakas sa'king buong katawan at halos manlumo na ako. Pagdaka'y napa-bagsak nalang ako sa sahig.

Hindi siya maaaring mamatay...hindi siya patay..hindi siya mamamatay para sa akin..

"I'm telling the truth, Marsha. Sinabi ko 'to sa'yo dahil wala ka nang babalikan. He's already dead Marsha.." tinapunan ko siya ng tingin sa kanyang mga mata. At hindi ko mapag-wari kung ano ang ibig pakahulugan niyon. Lumalabo na ang aking paningin dahil sa mga nangingilid kong mga luha. At hindi ko na masyadong naaaninaw ang kabuuan ng kanyang mukha.

Gusto kong lisanin ang lugar na 'to para puntahan si Logan kung nasaan man siya. Pero hindi ko na magawang makatayo. Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. Halos nanghihina na ako at halo-halo na rin ang nararamdaman ko sa sandaling ito.

Sandali'y napa-hilod ako sa'king sentido ng magdalawa yung paningin ko. Sabay nag-dilim na ang paligid ko nang mapa-pikit ang mga mata ko, pagkatapos ay nawalan ako ng malay.

-----------

|| Steven Montefalco ||

It is already six in the morning when I got rise up here in a couch. I seated here for a while as suddenly, I tilted my head on my right side and I took a glance on her.

I watched her for a moment while she's still sleeping. I mind that she's so much fatigue after a lot of tears that dripped down on her face last night. And I must say also because of her so much love and worried on that man.

Tsk. That shit man. Why is he don't just let me to be happy with Marsha? Why he don't just die so I can be able to get rid him to Marsha's heart?

Ugh! Curse him! Yes. I just said it to Marsha that he's already dead. Even actually he's not. I know that Stella are trying to do some ways to live with that man whom she insanely love now that Marsha is not there at Logan's side.

And yes. Speaking also to that man, I know that he's at that hospital, because of the injuries that he got after what happened to him a yesterday.

Fvck! He should thank me after this, because I still didn't killed his life.

Yes. I'm the one who planned about this. And regarding to Stella, the hell. She's not a help. I've just used her so I can get through with my plan.

I stood up as I walked through her. I seated in front of her while she's still sleeping. And there, she rubbed her eyes then she roamed her eyes around.

She stopped roaming her eyes when she suddenly caught me. Napa-bangon siya sa kanyang higaan habang naka-tapon pa rin ang mga paningin niya sa akin.

"Do you sleep well?" I asked in soft way. She smiled a bit.

"U-uhh, oo." she said. Sabay napa-yuko siya.

"Do you want to take your breakfast with me?" pagka-sabi ko 'non ay napa-angat kaagad ang tingin niya sa akin. She bite her lower lip, my eyes suddenly look down on it.

Damn it. I mind if how's it taste if I tasted it? Does Logan already tasted it! The heck! Bullshit!

I abruptly throw my thoughts. She nodded her head to me. "O-oo. N-nagugutom na ako Steve.."

Yeah. I know it. Besides I remember that she didn't eat last night.

I stood up as we walked through the dining room, which is adjacent in the living room. I pulled a chair for her then she seated on it. I took a food for a while inside the ref and I prepare a food on her. I placed the bread on the plate and I placed it on top of the table.

"S-salamat Steve." she said in a faint voice. I know that she's just trying to be okay even it's not.

"I like the way you call me Steve." I pulled a chair and I seated on it which is next to her.

"Hehe. S-sinabi mo kasi dati.." and I saw that she laughed a bit. Damn it. I really like that way when she smile. And I hope that I'm always the reason behind of that smile.

"Get anything you wanted to eat." pinasadahan niya ng tingin yung mga pagkain na nasa hapag, and I noticed that she's craving on it. She took a glance on me for a seconds and she tries to smile.

"A-akin ba lahat 'to?" she asked curiously. I chuckled.

"Yes. I prepared that for you." she gulped first before she took the sliced of bread and she eat it. I've just watching her while she's eating. And I guess that she's actually starving.

"I made a coffee for you.." inilapag ko 'yon sa kanyang harap at napa-tingin naman siya 'don. She laughed a bit.

"Thank you." I've just watched her while she's eating. And when suddenly, I felt my phone was vibrating inside my pocket.

She stopped eating for a while when she took a peek on me as I stood up. "A-aalis ka?"

"No. I'll just go there in the balcony. I'll just answer my phone call." I replied. I saw she nodded her head on me. Then she continue eating her food.

I walked towards the balcony. Afterwards, I took my phone inside my pocket and I answered the call.

"Steven! You should not stay there wherever you are with that damn girl. Logan was now totally in insanity because of Marsha! He's finding her!" I burst a heaved sigh and I clenched my fist. I keep calming down not to gritted my teeth.

"I know. I'm expecting for it. But I know that he'll not find Marsha here if you will just be shut, Stella." I heard her stupid chuckles.

"For heaven's sake! Don't you damn trust me?"

"You know what I can do Stella. But remember, it's not only for me, it's also for your sake."

"Yeah. I know. Tss." I heard her sighed. I mind that she's now rolling her eyes.

"Okay. I have something to do. Just call me later." I said then I hung up my phone.

"S-si Stella ba 'yon?" I swirled my body at my back and I saw that she's standing there. I tried to act like a normal in her front, as I noticed that there's a curiosity on her face.

"Yes." I said without hesitation. I know that maybe she's listening on us a while ago, and I'm not astounded on it. "But Marsha.." I strides towards her, then I abruptly hugged her as I saw that her tears was now starting to trickle down on her cheeks.

"S-sabihin mo sa akin Steven. M-may kinalaman ba si Stella sa nangyari kay Logan? Sabihin mo sa'kin please.."

"She's not, Marsha.." I said in a soft voice.

"P-pero yung narinig ko..ano ang ibig sabihin 'non? Huh? P-pinlano niyo ba 'to para ilayo ako kay Logan? O-o dahil alam niyong buhay pa siya at nilayo niyo ako sa kanya para magawa niyo yung gusto niyo?!" she almost tried to loud by the tone of her voice, sandali'y lumayo siya sa'kin mula sa pagka-kayakap ko sa kanya.

"P-please..Steven. Gusto kong makita si Logan..dalhin mo ako sa kanya..gusto kong malaman kung ano talaga ang nangyari sa kanya.." I wiped her tears as it's still dripping down on her face. I let out a sighed.

"I will, Marsha. But as for now, we should stay here for a meantime. Besides, Stella already there for him.." Yeah. She should stay there--here on me forever.

"D-dapat ako 'yung 'nandon hindi siya! Fiance niya ako Steven! fiance niya ako.." she said in an emphasized.

I felt something anger and pain inside of my chest. Damn it! When? When that become his fiance? I hide my fist while clenching it. I heaved a sighed before I let out a words.

"Marsha, Stella is pregnant." she suddenly become dumbfounded when I uttered it. She blinked her eyes on me.

"A-ano..S-si Stella? Buntis?" this time, her shoulders went down.

"Yes, she's pregnant with that man. And aside on it, their parents are preparing for their wedding this coming friday. But because of what happened to Logan, I don't know what she'll gonna plan now for it." I saw she's shaking her head. I know that she don't believe about what I've said. Her tears went dripped down again.

"H-hindi totoo ang sinasabi mo..h-hindi buntis si Stella kay Logan..."

"No, Marsha. She's pregn--" I cut off my words when she suddenly turn behind me, then she go away when she left me.

Fvck this!

I just let her to go somewhere as I still stay here on the balcony. I turn my body at my back, I put my hands inside my pockets while looking afar.

Now that she knew it, I'll make her life change by me--I'll make her to believe that the man whom she loved is totally gone..and there's nothing that she could take back from anymore where she was with before. Yeah. I'm now starting on it. I grinned.