Chapter 39: First is the Hardest (Part-3)

'What should I do now?' He pondered. He needed to immobilize these assassins inside before they woke up. As he pondered, his chain of thoughts was abruptly severed by a blood-curdling scream.

"ARRGHHHH"

He turned around only to witness one of the assassins engulfed in red flames, writhing and screaming for his life. The sight was unimaginably horrifying, watching someone burn alive.

"Zen!" An icy voice cut through the air. "Why are these assassins still alive?" Shreya's figure materialized from the shadows with a chilling presence.

"W-What? I mean, they are incapacitated. There's no need to kill them, right?" Zen's voice trembled with unease.

"If I hadn't saved you before, it would have been your lifeless body lying here!" She retorted, her words cutting through the air with an emotionless edge.

Zen listened in silence, struggling to find the right words, his inner turmoil evident.

"Have you considered what would have happened if any of them had escaped and harmed Anna?" Shreya's voice carried the weight of the possible consequences.

"But we're both protected. We have nothing to worry about. Killing someone just because they attacked me is not something I can stand for."

"What do you stand for then?" Shreya asked again. She was extremely patient because she knew what Zen was thinking. She knew what his heart was telling him. She knew at which crossroad Zen was standing. Why? Because she herself was at the same place many years ago. Afraid. Questioning her path. Questioning her principles. Questioning herself.

"I-I don't want to kill people like this. Everyone should be given a chance. The legal system will take care of this." In panic, Zen even decided to trust the system he hated. His convictions were straightforward, always ready to fight for his family. But taking someone's life felt like robbing them of their existence, a line he couldn't cross.

"And? If this group kills thousands more because you wanted to give them a chance, will you explain to them about the laws?"

"B-But…"

Finally, Shreya lost patience. She closed the distance, grabbing Zen's collar.

"What is your aim, boy?"

Zen was silent, a chaotic storm was surrounding his mind and he was incapable of coherent thoughts.

"Stop thinking useless crap and answer me! What do you wish to achieve?" She shouted at him.

"Power," He whispered with struggle.

"Then remember this. Do even the worst things possible as long as they help you keep and obtain power." She continued, her voice slapping Zen's mind, "You can have bottom lines, but that line can never be a weakness like this."

Yes, Zen knew that. How could he not? 

"But what if I become a cold blooded killer? What if I become a monster?" Zen asked the question that was eating him, staring directly into Shreya's eyes, his own eyes bloodshot with a blend of fear and determination.

"That's what you fear?" Shreya smirked, a cruel glint in her eyes, "That is not even a choice, boy. When you want something, you HAVE to become a monster. You have to become an absolute, ruthless monster. And THEN you have to learn to control it." With a swift motion, she threw Zen to the ground.

Zen's eyes were closed, and for a moment, the weight of the revelation seemed too much to bear. He stood up slowly, keeping his head down, a storm of conflicting emotions visible in his every movement.

"If you want power, you cannot shy away. You have to lie when necessary. You have to be ruthless when necessary." She lifted his chin forcefully, forcing him to meet her gaze, "Zen, You. Have. To. Embrace. The ugly."

Hearing this, something snapped inside Zen. The idealistic vision he clung to shattered, and a newfound determination filled the void. His thinking was naive, and now he had to confront the harsh reality. His perspective was naive, and he needed to shed the illusions. He was naive, and he had to grow.

'I thought I could change the world by being a good person. I guess I was just thinking conveniently.' He looked at Shreya resolutely, picking up his halberd, ready to take the step.

"Now that's an expression I like." Shreya picked up the assassin who was knocked out near them and raised him up.

Slap, she struck him multiple times, and he opened his eyes, confusion visible on his face. Shreya instantly used her power to immobilize the assassin on the ground.

The reality sank in and the assassin remembered everything.

"What are you doing? Do you know who we are?" The assassin shouted, struggling futilely against his restraints. 

Shreya delivered a swift kick to his face and turned to Zen, a look of challenge in her eyes. "See, he is still threatening you, despite not being able to move. Do you think he will be grateful if you let him go?"

Zen closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and positioned himself in front of the man.

"YOU! What are you trying to do?" The assassin shouted desperately.

Zen remained silent in the face of the man's frantic pleas. "Master, am I doing the right thing?" he asked, his gaze fixed on the restrained assailant.

Sensing a glimmer of hope, the assassin shouted once more, "No, you are wrong. Please… please don't kill me. I have a family. I promise I will never come near you. No, I will leave this country. Please… have mercy." His desperation was apparent now that the gravity of his situation had finally set in, compelling him to beg for mercy.

"Zen," Shreya opened her mouth, her voice cold and unwavering, "Crush your enemies. Destroy them. Kill, kill, kill until not a single one of them is alive, so that they cannot come back to oppose you."

As soon as Shreya's voice ceased, Zen swung his halberd straight at the assassin's throat.

"Nooooo."

"I will apologize to your family… if they don't stand against me."

|Slashhh|

The assassin's head severed from his body, and Zen, without looking away, braced himself to accept his actions. His first kill.

'I didn't think that he would accept.' Shreya predicted that she would have to create similar scenarios in the future to compel Zen to kill, but to her surprise, Zen was affected by her words and decided to follow her. Thinking this, Shreya couldn't help but smile slightly that her disciple trusts her unconditionally.

Finally, Zen couldn't take it.

|Bleghhh…barffff| He vomited. Shreya walked near him and patted him on the back. She was not disgusted in the slightest as she remembered that she reacted worse when she had her first hunt.

"Master," Zen murmured. Shreya noticed that Zen was shivering, so she held his hand and pulled him into her arms.

"Don't worry, disciple," she said reassuringly. "You did well."

As Zen lay in her arms, a mix of emotions crossed Shreya's face — pride in her disciple, sorrow for the path he had chosen.

"Mm" Zen mumbled and lost consciousness.