Missing

                **Rachael**

I climbed out of my bed slowly. These days I felt empty, I felt lost and I felt alone.

I've tried to be strong ever since mom died 3 years ago.

I've tried to put everything behind me and you know...move on.

I've tried to be happy,I've tried to smile,but deep inside,I knew something was missing.

Although I chose to ignore it,I still felt it. That emptiness,it was still there.

I stopped writing the book -Dreams- that I was working on.

I needed to think.

I checked the time,it was about 4 minutes past midnight.

I walked towards the door of the room to leave.

Turning back to turn off the lights,I saw Carl sleeping deeply, letting out soft snores.

He was curled up to a ball and looked really cute.

Now,he was not the tall, tough big bro. He was just Carl...a teenage boy who needed rest.

Today was really a long day.

I walked back inside and threw a duvet over his body.

"I love you big bro." I whispered softly into his ears.

He stretched a bit and turned to the left.I smiled and walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind me to avoid making any noise.

I walked down the stairs and out of the cafe, towards the chapel.

It has been three years since I went there. In fact, immediately mom died,I had stopped going there.

I remember going there thousands of times to pray when mom was ill. I cried and prayed and prayed but nothing happened! Mom still died!

Now,I have found myself going back to the same place I made up my mind never to visit.

As I left the cafe, cold breeze blew through my skin, sending chills down.

The thunder roared and there was a flash of lightning.

I noticed the trees waving through the air because of the breeze.

This was weird. There was no focast for rain tonight, especially a heavy one.Outside was dark,with only a weak security light as a source of light

I went across the small bridge which went towards the other side of the cafe where the chapel was located.

It was a small cottage-like structure, surrounded by neatly trimmed flowers.

I could see mom watering the flowers and humming her favorite song...

Bless the Lord oh my soul

Oh my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

Oh my soul

Worship His holy name

It was her favorite song. She sang it almost all the time! Tears began to run down my eyes uncontrollably. I didn't make out a sound but my heart was surely screaming in pain.

Losing a mother,a mother like her...it was...it was painful as hell!!

She was a good...screw that...a perfect person!!

Three years ago, I was too angry to mourn.

I kept it all hidden inside. I swallowed the pain because I was mad. Mad at mom,mad at God,mad at myself!

But today,it just feels like something is telling me to let it all out.

I looked up to the dark and starless sky.

"GOD ARE YOU EVEN THERE!!! WHY DID SHE HAVE TO GO!! SHE WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL PERSON!!!! WHY? WHY?!!"

The thunder roared.

I laughed at myself.

What the hell are you doing Rachael?

I couldn't walk into mom's chapel.

I just stood out there in the darkness, crying.

The rain began to pour heavily on me as I screamed out questions.

*"Come to me all who are tired and heavy hearted and I'll give you rest."

*"Come boldly into the throne of grace that you may obtain grace and mercy to help in time of need."

Those were mom's favorite Bible verses. I wished that they could speak to me the way they spoke to her.

The rain had now intensified and rain water mixed with tears bathed my face. I was tired

                           ***

"Holy cow!!"

Carl exclaimed when I walked back into the room drenched in rain."Why are you soaked? Where did you go at this time of the night?"

I rolled my eyes and peered into the room,only to see dad sitting on Carl's bed and Mrs Thompson,on mine.

She was holding her son,or rather he was holding her and whispering words into her ears,while she sobbed silently.

"What's going on? Why are you standing by the door?"

I asked worriedly. Carl heaved a sigh and muttered something about me 'avoiding the topic'.

I ignored him completely and walked inside with my body,still dripping from rain water.

I noticed Mrs Thompson's son more clearly now as he sat next to his mother.

He looked my age or so.

They seemed not to notice me at all. I noticed some more bruises on her body and I felt sorry for her and sorry that I couldn't do anything to help.

"Dad." I called softly. "What's going on?"

Dad looked up from his cell which he was peering into and started to speak before Carl walked in and beat him to it.

"Mr Thompson left the cafe last night and has not come back. He isn't picking up and Mrs Thompson is worried sick."

"Go get changed." Dad ordered.

I turned towards the bathroom before stopping to ask another question - a stupid question.

"So...it means he is in the cafe right now huh?"

Silence.

Everyone just stared at me with a 'what-the-heck' look.

I hurried into the bathroom and cleaned up, emerging in a dry set of clothes.

I glanced at the clock. It was 2 am.

Gosh! I was tired but in this situation,it would be rude to sleep. I sat down ceremoniously, trying to look concerned about a guy I didn't give a darn about.

Sincerely,if he was missing,I hoped he never got found!

Carl just went back to leaning at the door. He did not look like he wanted to be awake either.

If there was one thing Carl hated,it was interruptions in his sleep.

It was actually funny to see him try to fight sleep, look concerned (which he definitely wasn't) and not latch out on anyone.

"Can't we call the police?"

She asked. She looked tired.

I wondered how she could still show concern about a man who almost killed her. Maybe Carl was right. Maybe it was best we did not report. She obviously loves the guy! She would not have testified.

"No ma..." Her son's voice was surprisingly light.

I mean,he was  tall and lean guy,just like his mom. He had striking blue eyes and a dirty blonde.He wore baggy shorts and a sleeveless top which looked too light for that weather.

He was cute. I just didn't expect his voice to sound that light.

"The police only confirms a missing person's case after 24 hours."

Mrs Thompson brushed her palms through her hair in frustration.

She looked really worn out. I felt for her and I felt for the boy.

Having to go through all this was definitely not easy at all.

Dad stood up and looked out through the big window by my bed. "It's raining cats and dogs right now."

As if on cue,the thunder roared, accompanied with a lightning strike.

He turned back.

"We can't search for him now so let's assume he went out and decided to stay out. Maybe he wandered too far. If he isn't back by the morning,we can go look for him and we can involve the police ok?"

"Perfect!"  Carl half screamed.

If not for the severity of the case,I would have laughed.

Dad shot him a disapproving look before walking towards Gwen.

"Come on Mrs Thompson."

He helped her up and walked out,as her son walked behind them. I silently thanked God that it was over...for now, and lay flat on my bed.

"Hey man."Carl called the boy.

He stopped and turned.

"I'm Carl." He stretched out his hands and they shook.

He smiled a bit.

"Zee." He said softly.

I say back up. This guy needed all the support he could get so the last thing I'd wanna do,is show any sign of indifference which by the way,is totally how I feel.

"I'm Rachael."

He looked back into the room.

"Good...It's nice to meet you Rachael."

I heaved a sigh and lay back as he walked out of the room and Carl shut the door.

"Where in God's name have you been?!"

He asked.

"It's not important."

I said sleepily.

"What do you mean it's not impor..."

His voice faded away as I drifted into sleep.