Chapter 2.1 (6)

The party leaves MeadShire passing multiple "beware monsters" signs that Ashe tells us to disregard.

As we start to exit into a sightly forested area every tree seems to appear identical to the last.

Markus: There's been some remarkable cost cutting measures going on here, paper mâché rocks and metal shrubbery...?"

Ashe: It's-it's... honestly I can't even imagine how anybody buys it. Like look!

Ashe throws her hands over to the left where lies a pile of building materials and tools.

Ashe: Look at that! Look! That is literally the material they used to make the tree right there. Like, and there's axes and just plywood everywhere.

Markus: It's offensive to just look at.

Ashe: It is! The fact that...

Markus: People buy this?

Ashe: Yes! Well... sort of. They're scammed out of their life savings.

Markus: Oh, so they're forced to believe it?

Ashe: Uh... No... I think they're eager to believe it? I've never really understood the psyche of the people who come here-

Markus: You-you misunderstood. They're forced to believe it so they don't go crazy. Uhh... ya know, over the insane debt that they've put themselves into for such a trivial experience.

Ashe: Perhaps? I think that...I think that could factor into it into a small part However, I've just observed that they're all...Daft...Horribly, horribly daft.

Gregor: They built a tree with a tree...

Alex: that they did Gregor

Markus: Have you met the human race before, Ashe?

???: Brave adventurers!

A man addresses the party provoking a quiet groan from Ashe

???: Please! I'm having a HUGE problem with the LARGE rats in my basement,

Ashe: We're not-

???: and I could use the help of a few brave adventurers.

Ashe: Look we're not-

Gregor: Do you think... *muttering*

Markus: I'm afraid we're quite busy.

???: Listen...

Gregor : Is your basement a cave?

???: Listen, listen buddy.

The man begins to pulls Markus aside

*whispering*

"I got rats in my basement and if you don't go down there, I'm gonna pull you down there.

Ashe: Look, Abacus, we're not adventurers-

Abacus: Why didn't you say so?

Ashe: I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE FOR LIKE SIX... OH MY GOD!

Abacus: I think I see another BRAVE group of adventurers, coming to help me with the rats in my basement!

Ashe: I see that man every day and he gives me that same sell every time I walk past...

Markus: Is his name actually Abacus?

Ashe: I don't know or care.

Alex: I would just call him rat guy anytime I had to help him

Markus: Huh.

Gregor: You know, maybe if you showed him a little respect, he would do the same for you.

Markus: Well said!

Ashe: I tried that, the first several weeks that I was here.

With that the party continued on passing the rat man to his on devices and reaching a split In the road. Marcus spots a few signs on the edge of the road and begins to approach

Markus: Huh. These signs are covered in scribbles that look almost like writing, but don't quite follow through.

Ashe: Um...yeeeah...It's made to look old, like you know, worn but it really just-

Markus: It's really just poorly done.

Ashe points down the the split in the road towards a 'forest' in the distance

Ashe: Yeah, well I mean -- I guess. Down this way, uh...that's the "Woods of Enwonderment" Like, you know, being wondered...

Markus: Of course-

Ashe: And up north is the the caves of the pig-bat king.

Gregor: Of the the what?

Markus: Sorry?

Ashe and Alex release a heavy sighs

Ashe: The pig-bat king. We taped a bat to a pig.

Gregor: Could it be...

Gregor: Hear me out!

Ashe: No.

Gregor: That...YOU created the monster!

Ashe: I have no hand in creating the monsters.

Gregor: Not YOU... but you know, you.

Marcus and Alexander begin laughter at Gregor's comment

Gregor: I'm just saying -- we have no information, I'm just throwing it out there.

Markus: I think what Gregor's trying to ask is, if we have been sent to slay the pig-bat king?

Ashe: No, no, the pig-bat king is something entirely else. If the pig-bat king was "up", Oh uh, uh, little refresher, The Pig-Bat king is kinda like this, you know, this like creature they throw up, and all the adventurers gather around and ya gotta gang up to defeat it? But um, No, he's not "up" right now. *murmuring* I-it's something else, something else.

Immediately, down the path, the party hear the sounds of intense battle....And by that, I mean a man grunting and a sheep... 'BAA' -ing loudly.

Adventurer: Have at thee!

The random adventurer and the sheep begin the dance of death. The man fights of the sheep with a sword, driving it back into the woods.

Markus: Hm...

Ashe: Na, just... just keep walking.

Markus: Business as usual, Ashe?

Ashe: It's going pretty well this time, actually. I mean, honestly, uhhh most of them die by now.

Markus: Really?

Alex: pretty much honestly I can only weaken sheep so much to make it fair for them

Gregor: I'm feeling pretty confident!

Ashe: In that guy over there? The adventurer?

Gregor: No, in us.

Ashe: In us -- Oh no, yeah, of course! Yeah.

Gregor: You know, that guy looks as if he's losing now, actually...

Adventurer (or maybe the sheep...): WEEEEEEEHH

Gregor: Do you think we should...

Ashe glances over her shoulder back at the mess we are leaving behind us

Gregor: Do you think we should help him?

Ashe: No, no.

Markus: Feral sheep are something that a man must face On his own, Gregor. On his own.

Ashe: All of the sheep are sedated here.

Honestly I'm more afraid for the rat guy than the adventurer I haven't thinned out their population recently

Markus: However, I am extremely confident in our own expedition here. I believe that we should have -

A man steps forward interrupting Marcus as he begins to hope for this adventure going well

???: BRAVE ADVENTURERS. I have a missive that you must deliver to my friend. He lives closer to town than I, and it is important that you deliver a message to him. However, I hear he's been having a rat problem lately.

Marcus begins to hold out his hand to try and stop the man's badgering

???: Until you deal with those rats, he may be unwilling to speak to you.

Markus holds out his hand. the man holds out a crumpled piece of paper and forces it into Marcus's open hand.

Markus burns the paper that was forced into his palm to a crisp. The man used to such action quickly reaches into his pouch.

Ashe: Markus, he's got like-

The sound of paper loudly crinkling can be heard before He produces another roll of paper.

Marcus begins to narrow his eyes seeing the mans actions

Ashe: We're not adventurers.

Ashe: We're NOT ADVENTURERS.

Ashe at this point has grabbed the man by his shoulders and is slightly shaking him

Ashe: WE'RE NOT ADVENTURERS.

???: Thank god, okay.

Gregor: Well, don't give him the wrong idea.

Ashe: Look-

Markus: Oh he's gone, okay.

Ashe: Around here, Gregor, you have to... you've got to pick up the language. While I understand that you definitely might pride yourself on being an adventurer, around here it means something else. Something different. Something WORSE.

Gregor: So we've just gotta use it right, aaand get everybody to use the right meaning! Take back the word!

Ashe: Hm. Hmmhmm, hmmhmm.

Markus: So this is what they call the cave of the pig-bat king...

Ashe: Yeeeah.

Markus: Intriguing!