"Losing what she has as she fears"

[December 5th, 2021]

"I don't know what happened yesterday but it was all a misunderstanding." Seated in a café, Aurora bluntly murmured.

1. Don't forget you're dating Sean : Check.

She had checked the first one earlier in the morning so she obviously didn't forget about it and called Sean alone to a café.

"What are you talking about?" Sean asked sarcastically. "I think I don't remember."

"Sean… I'm not joking."

"I'm not joking either."

Aurora sighed, taking a break from the everlasting conversation and sipping slowly on the hot chocolate.

"Let me make myself clear, we're not-"

"Friends anymore. I know that." Sean chuckled lightly, trying to avoid her rejection. "I'm not scared of your rejection and you know why."

"Y-You don't understand."

Sean stood up from the chair, not wanting to hear more. Her rejection was based on realistic facts but he could care less about realistic facts while his crush, or girlfriend was dying unrealistically.

Aurora stood up and grabbed his sleeve to stop him. She wasn't going to date anyone just to leave them with scars. Specially not Sean. As if he hadn't suffered enough already.

"You can't leave!" She asked in a pleading tone.

He loosened his sleeve from her grip and leaned closer for a hug. She didn't push him away either. As selfish as that sounded, she needed that hug.

"Let me live in this false hope. I don't care about the consequences, and neither should you." He talked slowly, making her understand each word carefully. "It's alright to use me. Just like when I used you to get out of my hell-hole."

Reminiscing about his own past, he tried to make her comfortable with the situation.

"You didn't use me." She said while nervously moving her arms about his back, trying to close him into her grip but not wanting to, for his sake.

"I did. And now it's time for me to pay you back."

She finally wrapped her arms around him. He was glad he convinced her, even a little if he did.

2. Break up with Sean in the morning, alone, VERY IMPORTANT : Not sure.

She decided to go with it for now. Though, she still thought it was selfish of her to even want to date him while she was gone in just 4 weeks.

Her unfinished hot chocolate was ice-cold now. Sean bought her another hot chocolate, but that was not to keep her cozy, it was just his attempt of buying more time before they go to the restaurant to meet the others.

"Ah," She mentioned while sipping. "Can you switch?"

"You can't stand me for just a second now?" He complained.

"No!" She whined. "You always have to take it the wrong way!"

She investigated her handbag in search of her phone. She opened her note-pad on her phone and faced it towards Sean.

1. Don't forget you're dating Sean : Check.

2. Break up with Sean in the morning, alone, VERY IMPORTANT : Not sure.

3. Try to talk to Baby Sean, also alone :

4. Hangout with the gang and reduce their concerns :

5. Go to a trip :

Sean read the clauses carefully and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Don't forget you're dating Sean." He read with a light smirk.

"Is that the only thing you can read from all of that?" She complained.

"It's the first point…" He murmured. "Break up with Sean- Wow!" He nagged in surprise.

"That's not what I wanted to show you!" She pointed at the third clause.

"Try to talk to Baby Sean?" Sean asked as he read the statement. "He's alright, but if you do wanna talk to him, I'll leave you two space." He agreed before reading further. "Hangout with the gang, huh. We're doing that in a while…. A trip? Where do you wanna go?" He asked.

"I don't know… I haven't decided. Maybe somewhere quiet. Like the mountains."

"I thought you would never mention mountains after that failed hiking trip last year."

"That was because tip-top mountains are scary. Now, switch already!"

Sean sighed before staring into nothingness.

"Not coming." He informed a few minutes later, after internally conversating.

"Why not?"

"Beats me."

They decided to leave his case for later as Ethan texted the two. Maybe it was time to hit the road. They met up at a restaurant, and Sean strangely enough declared to pay for everything.

"Why do you sound like Hefty Uncle all of a sudden?" Ethan was awed.

"Just feel like spending today."

"In a happy, or a sad way? Because I'm not eating sad food bought from sad money." Lucy said.

"In a happy way, don't worry." Sean said before staring into the menu to get something expensive.

Of course, he was happy. They were finally dating. How could he not be happy? Being at a fancy Italian restaurant, they had to order all the expensive Italian cuisines. Aurora wanted to try their famous baked beef ravioli so they all ordered that. She didn't feel different though, as that was very normal of them. While waiting for the food, they decided to play a game, like always.

"How about 'Would you rather…'?" Lucy suggested.

Everyone agreed. They let Lucy host it because she had the biggest brain for games.

"Would you rather fly a jet or ride a car?" She asked, the first question being simple and not very dark like her personality.

"Car." Ethan said for his love for cars.

"Jet." Sean answered, "The reason being no traffic in the air."

"Plus, you're rich enough to afford it." Giselle chuckled. "Me and Aurora will go on a road trip. The sky is too lame. One color."

"I agree." Aurora chuckled.

"Alright then," Lucy continued. "Would you rather be rich and lose your ability to talk or stay poor but you can talk."

"Rich. I don't care if I can't talk dude. It's technology, I can always invent a computer that talks for me." Ethan said.

"Rich." Sean said. "I can just write things I wanna say."

"Poor… What if I'm in trouble and can't scream for help?" Aurora said.

"I agree with Aurora, but I'll be rich. If I'm rich I'll hire bodyguards, and yeah, no trouble." Giselle said.

"But having bodyguards doesn't assure safety. Would you let your bodyguards in the bathroom while showering? What if you fell and hurt yourself in shower, right? You need to call someone for help." Lucy added to Aurora's point.

"Nah, I'll take the bodyguards to the shower."

They all laughed it off. Giselle was bold enough to do that, however, that was just a statement. She liked personal space the most.

"Would you rather date a friend or a stranger?" Lucy asked.

"Excuse me, are you personally attacking us?" Sean asked.

"Us? Ooh~" Lucy added to her wild imagination.

"Date a stranger." Ethan broke the awkwardness. "My friends bully me, can't date bullies." The girls laughed to his honest statement.

"Date a friend." Giselle said. "So, I won't have trust issues."

"We already have Aurora's and Sean's answers." Lucy smirked.

"What about yours?" Aurora asked.

"Hmm… Stranger." Lucy answered. "I want to know that person from the top. More romantic."

The waiter arrived, placing the ravioli on the table and leaving. Though food had arrived, the game was still ongoing.

"Would you rather live alone, or with family?"

"Alone. Always." Giselle said.

"Family." Ethan said.

"I prefer both." Sean said.

"Hmm, me too." Lucy said before looking at Aurora for an answer.

She was paused. The fork in her hand was stationary, and her expression neutral.

"Aurora?" She asked while chewing.

"Hm?" She asked after dwelling back to consciousness.

"Would you rather live alone, or with family?" Lucy repeated the question.

"Huh?" Aurora looked clueless.

"Huh?" Lucy was even more clueless.

Aurora looked around cluelessly. Sean figured it out right away and eyed Giselle.

"Alright guys, Me and Aurora will be heading back home." Giselle said before grabbing her hand and rushing out of there.

"W-Where are we going?" Aurora asked.

"Home." Giselle said as they exited the restaurant.

"But why?"

"Because…" Giselle was unsure. "Uh…"

Sean appeared after soon after.

"I'll take over from here." He said before pulling Aurora to his side.

"Alright, Mr. Boyfriend. Do let me know if something goes wrong." Giselle said, leaving them alone and going back inside to accompany the others.

"What happened?" Aurora asked.

"You forgot. So, I stole you." Sean explained quickly and offered her his hand.

Though they were friends for so long, it wasn't awkward for either of them.

"I'm not sure what I forgot." She said as she grabbed his hand.

"Restaurant?" Sean asked.

"Yeah, I don't remember." She chuckled before they went straight for a walk.

They walked straight down the alley, towards her home. They decided to walk so he could have her catch up with everything.

"So," She tried to recall. "We played 'Would you rather?' and then ate? That's all?" She asked.

"Thankfully, you only forgot some of it. Like, small parts." Sean said.

She kicked the snow when they stopped at a road-cross as the signal turned red.

"Do you remember we're dating?" He asked to double check.

"Do you think I don't?" She asked as she chuckled. "I wish I forgot though. Then you won't have to suffer when I leave."

"At this point, whether I date you or not, the outcome would be the same. So, don't think about me. Think about yourself-" He paused when the signal turned green again.

"Sean?" She asked. "Or…"

"Young Lady, we meet again."

"Palanquin Lady?" She asked.

"Yes." Palanquin Lady nodded, gripping her hand tighter and walking her across the road. "I hear you are near your end."

"Do you guys gossip about me internally or what?"

"It is very common for us to share information from time to time. We talk about you as well, as you happen to be his biggest concern. He will hate me for saying this, but all his depression comes from you." She explained. "I switched in with him after observing carefully. You mustn't go out with him. He is not ready." She paused. "Not ready to let you go. He does not understand what letting go of someone you hold dear feels like. I know you already understand this, but I must stress it out."

"I tried to push him away, but…"

"I observed. I'm always in co-consciousness with Sean. Always. You just don't notice me but a lot of comments he makes are from me." She explained. "I know you tried to push him away, and I am proud of you for even thinking about that. No one in their right mind, near their end would give up on a potential date that could keep them happy."

"Are you indirectly calling me crazy?"

"Are you not?"

"I… Guess I am."

"Just don't give in yet. I know it's rude of me for saying this. But, Young Lady, before being crazy, you're Aurora. And the Aurora I know is far from selfish." She spoke. "Again, my apologies for putting you under such pressure."

Aurora held onto her hand which was physically still Sean's hand. She looked at it with deep, full eyes.

"I love him… Unfortunately." She admitted. "And I know that I'm the cause for his stress, depression and whatnot!... Even the little one is affected."

"I don't wish to turn this into depression for you, as you already have a lot on your plate. But I have nothing else to offer. I apologize."

"What if… I'm selfish?" She asked hesitantly. "What if you judged me wrong? What if I wanna keep him?"

"I have not judged you wrong as you already attempted to push him away once." She said firmly. "However, I shall get on my knees to ask you for this favor. I will switch, as I can, if he ever asks you out again." She tried to kneel before Aurora stopped her.

"Wouldn't it hurt him more?"

"There is no certainty to that. However, losing you like this will destroy him."

"Your switching in between of his confessions will destroy him more!" She objected. "I agree that we shouldn't have started this, but I don't think even you can do anything about it anymore. He had made his mind up this morning, when I was eager to push him away."

Palanquin Lady let go of her hand and stared her before passing a sigh.

"Your point stands. I can't argue with this." She reached a conclusion. "I hope for the best for the two of you, and, I apologize for my harsh favors and unnecessary pressures."

"No, not at all… I needed to get my facts straight so, thank you for talking… I guess."

"We'll see each other again, Young Lady. Try not to-" She stopped as she saw Aurora twitch her eyes. "Are you alright?" She asked in concern.

Aurora started rubbing her eyes violently.

"Young Lady!" She called her out but she continued. "At this rate, you will pluck your eyes out!" She exclaimed in concern, thinking there was something in her eyes.

She stopped, still keeping her hands over her eyes and breathing heavily.

"You should come with me to the hospital." Palanquin Lady reached her hands towards her.

Aurora panicked and slapped the hands away.

"Stay away from me!" She shouted before losing balance, falling on her knees.

"Young Lady!" She tried to pick her up from the ground.

"Who are you?!" She shouted.

"I-I'm Sean?" Palanquin Lady said.

"No… You're not Sean. No." She pushed her away with her remaining power and broke into tears. "I don't know!"

Palanquin Lady didn't want Sean to witness the scene, so she decided to stay.

"I'm Palanquin Lady. Do you not remember me, Young Lady?"

Aurora shook her head crawling away from her. 'Amnesia?' Palanquin Lady thought to herself.

[December 5th, 2020]

She failed to recall any memory of the day.