"The Pilot- 3"

(a/n: Part-3, when is it going to end, tell me in the comments if you are liking this and if you want me to write like this.)

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*MC POV"

I am helping my mom with the cake in the kitchen and suddenly a sound came from upstairs and it is Haley yelling at Alex most likely.

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*3rd POV*

(Dunphy residence- Upstairs)

Haley: "Alex, get out! Mom! (closes the door)"

Claire: "Alex, leave your sister alone."

Alex: "(comes downstairs) I was just getting my book, gosh."

Claire: "I know, sweety, but you need to respect their privacy. By the way, what are they doing up there?

Alex: "Nothing. Lying on the bed watching a movie."

Nate: "What! after I warned that goofy haircut, still. (mutters)"

Claire: "…Okay. Okay. Um, we're making a cake for tonight. Do you wanna help us with the frosting?"

Alex: "Sure. So, you know, if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months, and then, like, tell everyone the baby is yours?"

Nate: "Mom, what is she saying?"

Claire: "…What?"

Alex: "The senior at school was out sick for, like, four months, but… then a week later, she was seen breastfeeding at a coin-up of a carwash."

Nate: "Alright! it is enough. I'm going upstairs to break his legs."

Claire: "No, Nate. Why don't you go outside? Your father is shooting Luke as discussed earlier."

Nate: "(frustratingly) Okay, but he(Dylan) and I going to have a serious talk afterward(went outside)."

(Outside)

Phil: "Buddy… what are you wearing?"

Luke: "(wearing multiple layers of clothing) Nothing."

Phil: "Uh uh. No jacket, one hat."

Nate: "How many pairs of underwear do you have on?"

Luke: "One… ugh, six."

(Inside)

Alex: "First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew?"

Claire: "Haley is not going to get pregnant."

Alex: "Just saying if."

Claire: I know. And I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but it's not gonna work this time. Do you know why? 'Cause your sister is a good girl. I know; I was just like her when I was… (walks off)

(Outside)

Phil: "I want you to know: I'm not enjoying this, but this is an important lesson that you're learning, so soak it, keep it. (aims BB gun at Luke)"

Luke: "You're too close. It's gonna hurt."

Nate: "It's supposed to hurt."

Luke: "And why are you smiling?(looking at Phil)"

Phil: "I'm… what?"

(Inside)

Claire: (climbs stairs and stands outside Haley's room to listen to what is going on inside)

(Outside)

Phil: "Oh, forget it. I can't do this. The point is you're scared. I think you've learned your lesson- (BB gun goes off) Wow."

Luke: "Ow!"

(Inside)

Claire: "(enters Haley's room)"

Haley: "Mom? What are you doing?"

Claire: Oh, hey. I was just, um, dropping off some laundry. Is this a bad time?

Haley: "Yeah."

Claire: "Oh. Okay. (leaves)"

Haley: "Can you shut the door, please?"

Claire: "Actually, we're just gonna go ahead and leave that open."

Haley: "Why?"

Claire: "Because I have, uh, seen this little show before, lying on the bed with a tall senior. One moment you're just friends watching Falcon Crest, and the next you're lying under the air hockey table with your bra in your pocket."

Dylan: "Woah…"

Haley: "Mom!"

(Outside)

Luke: "You hit my bone!"

Phil: "It was an accident!"

Luke: "I thought you two were my friends!"

Nate: "Hey buddy! You know, I am your best friend and I would never shoot you with a BB gun(points to Phil). He is not your friend."

Phil: "I am your friend!"

Haley comes downstairs and comes outside on the porch to complain about Claire to Phil and Dylan follows.

Haley: "Dad! Dad! Dad, you have got to talk to mom. She's, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me!"

Phil: "Well, honey, your mom isn't always as cool about things as I- (BB gun goes off)"

Dylan: "Ow!"

Phil: "What is with this thing?! (drops gun; gets shot in the leg) Ow!"

Nate: "I'll take that and uncock it(smiling because it hit Dylan before)."

After that Dylan went home and the whole family went to Mitch & Cameron's house. Haley and Claire were even arguing in the car.

(Pritchett-Tucker house)

(Commentary)

Mitchell: "My dad… Uh, my dad still isn't completely comfortable with… this. Um, he still does this thing – it's been five years now – and he still does this thing where he announces himself before walking into any room we're in, just to make sure he doesn't ever have to see us kiss."

Cameron: "Wish my mother had that system. Remember?"

Mitchell: "Not now."

(Cut back to the scene)

Mitchell: "I still can't believe you did this to me. (referring to Cameron inviting the family for dinner)"

Cameron: "Would you get in the spirit of things? It's a celebration. (doorbell rings)"

Mitchell: "Oh god."

Cameron: "Okay. I'm gonna go get Lily ready. And I want you to just come straight out with it."

Mitchell: "Alright."

Cameron: "Okay? You can do this. (opens arms) Sports guy chest bump. Sports guy chest bump."

Mitchell: "No."

Cameron: "Sports guy chest bump."

Mitchell: "Cam."

Cameron: "(bumps Mitchell) Do it."

Mitchell: "Alright, okay."

Cameron: "Go."

Mitchell: "Sorry. (takes a deep breath; answers door) Hey!"

Dunphy Family: "Hey!"

Mitchell: "How are you? (gets wine from Phil and gives a hug to Nate and then Claire) Thank you."

Claire: "Oh, don't thank us. Open it; dad is coming right behind. (doorbell rings again)"

Jay: "We're here! Coming in! Coming in!"

Mitchell: "Don't worry, dad. Nothing gay going on here. May I take your multi-colored coat and bejeweled cap?"

Jay: "Yeah."

Phil: "Hey, Jay."

Claire: "Gloria, hi. How are you? Hi dad."

Phil: "Hi Gloria. How are you? Oh, beautiful dress."

Gloria: "Oh, thank you. Feel(Phil)."

Phil: "Okay. (starts feeling Gloria)"

Nate: "Dad. That's not what she said, it's how she says "Phil". Not "feel". "Phil".

Phil: "Oh."

Jay: "So how was your trip? (questions Mitchell)"

Mitchell: "It was good. It was good, actually, but, um, about that… I… I have something that I need to tell you guys. Um… uh, we didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure. We, uh… kinda have some big news."

Jay: "Oh god, if Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving."

Claire: "Dad…"

Nate: "Grandpa!"

Haley: "I hope he didn't embarrass you, mom."

Nate: Oh, don't mind her. Haley had her first boy over today and… Dad shot him(smiling).

Haley: "Why are you smiling?"

Nate: "NO reason."

Mitchell: "…Anyway. Um… so about a year ago, Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know, for something more like, uh… maybe a baby?"

Jay: "Oooh, that's a bad idea."

Mitchell: "What do you mean "bad idea"?"

Jay: "Well, kids need a mother. I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog."

Mitchell: "We're not bored, dad."

Gloria: "I support you, Mitchell, even though you're not my son.""

Claire: "I-I-I think what dad is trying to say is that Mitchell, you're a little uptight, kids bring chaos and you don't handle it well."

Nate: "Oh, uh, that's not what Grandpa is saying mom; that's what you're saying and it's insulting in a whole different way. And it is not right"

Mitchell: "Thank you!"

Phil: "Okay people, let's all chillax."

Nate: "Hey, where's uncle Cameron?"

Mitchell: "Final- thank you. Thank you. Someone who's not insulting me and supports me notices he's not here."

Jay: "Aaah, so that's the big announcement, huh? You two broke up. Well, a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway. And you know, let me tell you: you're a lot better off because he was a bit of a drama queen."

Mitchell: "Okay, no, no, no, stop! You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend who, by the way, is not that dramatic and- ("Circle of Life" starts playing; lights dim) Oh god… (Cameron enters carrying Lily; holds her up as the spotlight shines on her) We adopted a baby. Her name is Lily."

Cameron: "Isn't it exciting?"

Mitchell: "Just turn it off."

Cameron: "I can't turn it off; it's who I am."

Mitchell: "The music."

Cameron: "Oh, yes, the music. (turns it off) Come say hi to Lily! (Family fawns over Lily; Nate was the first one; Jay stands from afar)"

Phil: "Lily. Isn't that gonna be hard for her to say?"

Jay: "Um, excuse me. Okay, I-I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea, but, uh… what do I know? I mean, it's not like I wrote the book on fatherhood. I've been trying all my life to get it right; I'm still screwing up. Right, Manny?"

Manny: "I wrote a song about it in the car."

Nate: "Of course you did."

Jay: "Uh… anyway, I'm happy for you and, uh, you should know that, uh, I'm not here to spit in your face; I'm here to blow at your back. (family's confused) It's supposed to sound better in Spanish."

Nate:"(repeats quote in Spanish) Voy a ser la brisa en tu esplada, no quien te escupa en la frente!"

Cameron: Ah, that's beautiful.

Jay: "Anyhow, Mitch…"

Mitchell: "No, dad, it's… (takes Lily) Do you wanna meet grandpa?"

Jay: "Are you kidding? She's one of us now. Let me see your little potsticker. Hey! You're a cutie, aren't you? Ah."

(Commentary- Nate and Jay)

Nate: "(reading Manny's poem) "We're from different worlds… yet we somehow fit together. Love is what binds us through fair and stormy weather. I stand before you now with only one agenda: to let you know my heart is yours, Feldman comma Brenda."

Jay: "(laughs) I mean, seriously!"

(Commentary- Phil)

Phil: "Luke so far, you know, hasn't beaten me in basketball. Nate did, but you know, he is good and I let him win."

(Cut to Phil and Luke playing basketball on the trampoline)

Phil: "It's 2-0. It's 2-0. (proceeds to score)"

Phil: "(after stopping Luke from scoring) Get that weak stuff out of my kitchen!"

Phil: "Do me a favor, just… (distracts Luke; scores) Boom! How's the weather down there?"

(Commentary - Phil & Nate)

Phil: "But, when the day comes that he does win – if, you know, if, when… he beats me – I'm just gonna be like, "Well done, well done." Just, like, let him, just support him and that kinda stuff. I mean, I'm probably gonna wanna go, like, two out of three and just see what happens there."

Nate: "(from afar, camera switching to him) And you didn't let me win, why don't we have another game? Come on!"

Phil:(looks into the camera horrifyingly which switches to him)

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END

(a/n: Finally, it's done. Just give me the review and all the power stones. I don't want to increase the word count and also comment, if you like this or how to change it, if not.)

CIAOS.