Door to Door

"Remind me again why I'm here?", Haley asked as she followed behind Alex and Zephyr.

"I don't know", Zephyr shrugged.

"Because Mom doesn't trust you", Alex answered.

"Huh!", Haley exclaimed, looking up from her phone, "What do you mean?".

"Mom thinks that you'll end up going to some club or something without me supervising you", Alex clarified.

"Why?", Haley asked.

"Because you broke up with Dylan", Alex stated, her tone neutral and even.

"You're such a liar", Haley retorted, "It's probably because Mom wants me to supervise you two and to make sure that you don't do anything".

"We're both 14", Alex rolled her eyes, "What are we going to do?"

"Hey!", Zephyr exclaimed indignantly, "I'm basically 15 in a few weeks", his words causing Alex to roll her eyes again.

"This is your first relationship so Mom probably assumes that you'll end up doing something stupid and end up regretting things later", Haley remarked. Pausing briefly, she looked at the duo, "That reminds me. Mom's planning on giving you the talk soon".

"What?!", Alex exclaimed.

"Yeah", Haley commented off-handedly, "She was planning on waiting till you were a bit older, but she decided to speed things up because she caught you two making out three days ago".

"She saw that?", Zephyr asked, incredulous.

"Yeah", Haley nodded, "Just because you live in the attic doesn't mean Mom doesn't check on you. Whenever Zephyr's over, she checks, like, every 5 minutes".

"She does?", Alex asked, "How have we not noticed?"

"You remember how we used to play hide and seek a lot when we were younger?", Haley asked.

"Yeah", Alex agreed, "We'd always lose".

"She knows our house inside out so she's basically a ninja at home", Haley announced, "She's also gotten used to sneaking around because Dylan used to come to our house often".

"So it's your fault", Alex argued, "Now I'm going to have to endure her giving me the bees and knees talk".

"It's not just the bees and knees talk", Haley shook her head, "It's also going to be about what you should do in case you do it. How you should always wear protection and take the pill and stuff like that".

"Aurgh", Alex retched, "That sounds even worse".

"It's worse than it sounds", Zephyr added, "Dad gave me that talk after we came back from Wyoming. I felt so embarrassed the whole time".

"That's not helping!", Alex yelled in panic.

"I wasn't trying to", Zephyr countered, "And besides. As long as you nod and give them awkward smiles, they go through it quicker. I found out way too late".

Haley nodded at his words, "Also, make sure that you don't shout or yell or else they'll think you haven't paid attention because you're too embarrassed".

"Okay!", Alex screamed, "Stop talking!"

The rest of the walk remained doused in awkward silence, no one willing to continue the conversation from where it ended. The trio remained silent until they finally entered the house.

"We're home!", Alex yelled as they walked into the kitchen.

"Us too", Phil replied as the trio walked in.

"Oh great. You're all here", Claire said, looking up from the paper in her hand.

"What's up girl?", Phil greeted, appearing behind Claire and giving her a quick kiss.

"You know that really intersection?", Claire asked.

"Where desire meets jealousy and the result is murder?", Phil questioned.

Claire shook her head, "The one where I almost killed you this morning"

"Oh yeah. Sorry. That was my bad", Phil apologised, "I got lost in my jams". Walking over to the counter, he placed his bag on there, "That's a dangerous combo: speedwalking and a Speedwagon. Oh. I wasn't even trying for that one".

"Nice", Luke commented, nodding his head and giving Phil a thumb's up.

"Well. I'm getting us a stop sign", Claire announced, "I called the city hall, and how's this for amazing? The traffic committee meets tonight".

"I've got goosebumps", Alex commented, smiling.

"I'm elated", Haley added.

"I'm terrified", Zephyr finished, shocked by the change in their attitude.

"I know! Right?", Claire exclaimed, "All I have to do is get 50 signatures, show up, make my case and BAM! Stop sign".

"I'm so proud of you", Phil said.

"We all are", Haley continued.

[Commentary]

Dunphy Family minus Claire

"We love it when Mom gets on a project", Alex began, "Usually, the minute we walk through the door, she gives us something to do".

"Go clean up your room. Do your homework", Haley said, mimicking her Mom.

"Put on your pants", Luke added.

"I know right", Phil agreed, "It's like the Queen's coming over". At his words, both Haley and Alex looked at Phil and Luke. "So when she's not around or gets busy, Luke and I capitalise on the situation".

[Commentary ends]

"Well, I think it's awesome", Alex complimented.

"I'm so glad because I could really use your help", Claire said, looking at them expectantly.

"I'll do it", Phil said, walking over to her but stopping halfway, "Dang. I've got to go change those light bulbs you wanted me", Phil complained, exiting the room.

"That's fine. What about you?", Claire asked.

"We've got a ton of homework to do", Alex excused, grabbing Zephyr's hand and dragging him out of the room.

At this, Claire turned her attention to Luke. "I've got a science project", Luke lied, running out of the room.

"Haley?", Claire questioned.

"I've got to go get started on my college essay", Haley argued, "You know what? Maybe I'll write it about you because you're so damn inspirational. Go Girl Power! You rock Mom".

"Thanks, honey", Claire muttered, "I do rock".

[With Alex and Zephyr]

As they walked up and into the attic, Zephyr curiously asked, "We're not going to actually do homework, are we?"

Alex rolled her eyes at his question, "We're going to do a bit so if she asks, we have some evidence".

"That's good because I can think of a better way to spend our time here. All alone. In this room. With no supervision", Zephyr said, a smile on his face.

Alex rolled her eyes knowing what he was implying, "Fine. But we have to be careful this time. I don't want us to get to carr-".

As Alex was about to finish her sentence, she found Zephyr's lips on hers, stopping her from continuing. The couple made out passionately in the bedroom, their lips meeting in a fervent dance. Their bodies pressed close, wrapped up in the intensity of the moment. Fingers traced gentle patterns along each other's arms, igniting a fire of desire that seemed to envelop them. Soft sighs of pleasure escaped their lips as they lost themselves in the intensity of the moment, their hearts racing in sync with their escalating desires.

[Time Skip]

"Stupid neighbours!", Claire exclaimed. as she slammed her handbag onto the counter alongside the papers in her hand.

"What's wrong?", Phil asked, removing the ice pack from his forehead.

"I can't ask for a single signature", Claire complained as she tried to fix her messy her, "But it's fine for them to build a house that makes it look like the Beverly Hillbillies just moved in. Did you do any better?"

"We got close a few times", Phil said, but then seeing the loom on his wife's face, he muttered, "You're not talking about basketball are you?"

"Phil. Please tell me you got some signatures", Claire begged, "I have to be at the city hall in, like, three hours". Seeing the look on his face, she turned her attention to Haley who was looking through a fashion magazine. "Haley. How about you?", she asked.

"I've been busy with my college essay", Haley tried, not meeting Claire's eyes.

"Really? Where is it?", Claire asked.

"It's in a rough, rough draft", Haley explained. As she was trying to come up with an excuse, she saw Alex and decided to blame her, "All Alex has been doing is making out with Zephyr in her room".

"That's so not true!", Alex argued.

"Honey, you look like you've bitten your lips and you two weren't exactly quiet", Phil said, "And I think you're going to have to have a talk with your Mom later"

Phil's words caused Alex to scream, "ZEPHYR!".

"Yeah?", Zephyr asked as he walked in.

"You promised to be more careful this time", Alex complained.

"Sorry. I sort of got carried away", Zephyr sheepishly explained. Seeing the look on Claire's face, Zephyt tried to save them as much as they could and placed a piece of paper on the table, "Hey Mrs Dunphy. Here. There are 5 signatures there".

"You know what? I have been out there trying to do something good for our community because change doesn't just happen", Claire yelled, "It is forged by empowered women like Noma Ray and the lady from Blind Side, whose family had their backs". Finished with her speech, Claire stormed out of the room.

"Where'd you get the signatures from?", Alex whispered to Zephyr.

"I forged my Dad's, Desiree's, Nikos', Elena's and Melaina's", Zephyr whispered back.

"Okay", Phil interrupted and cleared his throat, "Huddle up everybody". Once everyone was paying attention to him, Phil continued, "Claire's the quarterback of this family and we've got to protect her like blindside did".

"She just said the Mom was Blind Side", Luke said.

"She's confused. Blind Side is the black kid who played tight end", Phil explained.

"That's offensive", Zephyr commented.

"Sorry. African-American Kid", Phil corrected.