Heartache

Mizuki and Sora walked to the room quietly, hand in hand. The door unlocked without complaint, but when Sora looked at the bed he stopped moving. Mizuki looked up at him questioningly.

He shrugged, then let go of her hand, and walked over to the bed. He sat on the edge of it, and just watched her for a moment.

She felt herself warm beneath his gaze, and moved forward to climb into his lap, and kiss him.

He responded to her warmly. Like the first time they'd ever kissed, he slid his hands under her to lift her into his kiss, and used his tongue. He kissed her seriously for several minutes, and when he finally released her, he unzipped her dress and slid it down her body.

She slid off his lap and let the dress fall to the floor without saying anything.

He looked at her for a moment before pulling her back into his lap and kissing her again.

--

"Mizuki, I don't have a condom on me," he warned her when she started unbuttoning his shirt.

She stopped, and asked, "Are they in your bag or should we go buy some?"

"In my bag," he explained.

"Okay," she replied calmly. "Don't worry." She finished unbuttoning his shirt and ran her hands down his chest.

He shuddered under her caress, pulled her tight against him, and kissed her again. "Okay," he agreed.

For a while they just clung to each other and kissed over and over. But finally, Sora stood up abruptly with her in his arms, and set her on the floor. Mizuki opened her mouth to protest, but stopped when he flung the covers of the bed back. He turned, scooped her up, and laid her on the bed. Then he bent over her and kissed her hard, before reaching for her bra fastening.

Someone knocked on the door.

Sora sighed, and stood up to adjust his pants, before walking over. Mizuki snatched the sheet up just before he opened the door, and an embarrassed young man handed over Sora's duffel bag and a valet ticket, while trying not to look at either of them. Sora closed the door behind him, then turned back to her and grinned.

He quickly searched the bag for condoms, and Mizuki wondered briefly if it were the same box they'd been using on the island before she'd left.

--

The first time didn't take them long, and when they finished, Mizuki asked, "Can I borrow your phone?"

Sora unlocked it for her, then watched her call her father and tell him where she was, and that she wasn't coming home that night. When she gave it back, he gave her a searching look, but didn't ask anything.

The second time Sora made it last for a while, and they were both soaked in sweat. The third time was in the shower, and he held her pinned against the wall with her legs wrapped around his hips. The last time was sweet and slow, interspersed with a thousand kisses.

As she cuddled against him as they fell asleep, Mizuki murmured, "I missed you so much Sora."

He curled tighter around her, but didn't reply verbally.

--

When Mizuki woke up, Sora was sitting beside her, already dressed. She rolled out of bed and dashed to the bathroom, and when she came out he was still sitting on the bed.

She looked at his face, and asked anxiously, "What's wrong?"

He replied unhappily, "Get dressed Mizuki, and then let's talk."

She looked at her discarded dress and told him, "I really don't want to put that on again. I'd rather burn it." He couldn't help laughing a little. She watched him for a moment and then asked, "Can I borrow another T-shirt? I'll give it back this time."

He nodded, and she pulled one out of his duffel. She put on her under things, and he sat and watched as she pulled on his T-shirt, and used the ribbon from her dress to belt it into place where she carefully folded it.

She tugged it down and asked uncertainly, "Is it long enough?"

"It's fine. You look fantastic wearing my old shirt," he told her a little roughly. When she looked up at him and smiled, he covered his face and said, "And I can't do this Mizuki. I'm really sorry and I shouldn't have done it with you last night."

She stared at him. "Why?" she demanded plaintively.

He dropped his hands and looked at her. "When you came to the hotel with me, it just seemed inevitable, and I thought maybe I could date you. But this morning I feel like I've done something horrible to you again. I can't do it Mizuki, I can't date a kid," he said miserably.

"It sounds like you're trying to do the horrible thing to me right now," she protested.

He pulled his knees up and buried his face in them. "I know," he agreed in a pained and muffled voice. "I know I'm being a complete jerk to you. I shouldn't have touched you."

"I'm not a kid!" she argued.

"You are, you're still in highschool," he countered. When he raised his face, there were tears in his eyes as he added painfully, "I can't be good for you Mizuki, I don't have any control when I'm with you. I can't hold back and wait for you. I can't be one of those guys who can wait patiently while their girlfriend grows up." He buried his face in his knees again and cried. "I adore you, and I don't want to be bad for you and hurt you even more than this. So I just can't do this Mizuki. I'm sorry."

Tears spilled down her face. But she crawled into the bed, laid her hands on his shoulders, and asked bitterly, "So you're saying you can't be with me because you care about me too much?"

"I'm sorry I'm being such a jerk to you Mizuki. It's all my fault. Blame me all you want to," he whispered hoarsely.

She hit him then. She smacked his head with her open palm, and sniffled, "Don't be stupid Sora. I'm the one who demanded you do it with me. I'm the one who agreed that a week would be enough." He looked up at her, and tears poured down her face and she added, "But I really hoped for more, and this time you're really making me cry."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"Shut up you idiot!" she told him sharply.

He sat quietly, until she had mostly managed to stop crying, and then he suggested unhappily, "I should take you home."

"You should just date me," she replied angrily.

"I can't. Please Mizuki, just let me take you home safely," he begged.

She wiped away another tear that escaped her and told him, "Fine."

When he held the dress out to her, after picking up his duffel, she told him, "Just leave it, or burn it."

He stuffed it into the bag, and they didn't speak again until they reached her parent's apartment.

--

Before getting out of the car, Mizuki got to her knees, wrapped her arms around Sora tightly, and pressed her face into his hair.

"Mizuki," he protested unhappily.

"I really love you Sora," she told him firmly. And then she pulled back a little and told him, "And you are such a jerk."

"I know," he said quietly.

"Take care of yourself, and don't drink too much, and eat well!" she demanded.

"I will Mizuki," he promised.

She kissed him, and he didn't resist, but when the kiss ended he didn't pull her back to him. She got out of the car, and walked into her home without looking back.

--

When the door slammed shut behind her, her father looked up from where he was standing in the kitchen, and asked in alarm, "Mizuki!?"

"Just let me cry," she begged him. She couldn't stop the cascade of tears and her nose was running.

"What happened?" he asked with concern as he set down the pan.

Her face scrunched up as she explained swiftly, as her father approached, "He says he can't be with me because he'll be bad for me! But he's not a bad guy! If he were a bad guy he'd just stay with me and not care if he was good for me or not!" She heaved a sob and held up her hands in a gesture that halted her father's approach. "So just let me cry. For a day. A couple days. I promise I won't cry any longer than a week!"

She dashed past her father without waiting for his reply. She ran into the room that was now hers alone, threw herself onto her bed, and cried bitterly.