Her past that Ford did not know was an adolescent ordeal for Julia.
When people knew that she wrote the love letter, she was reprimanded by Gloria for being shameless and seducing people at such a young age.
At school, she was scolded by the teachers, teased and mocked by her classmates. They laughed at her because she, such a humble country girl, dared to pursue Ford Ainsworth.
Every month, Ana would invite many people to her party, including Ford.
However, Julia was not allowed to join in. Gloria asked her to do the examination papers and practices in her room.
Gloria said it was for her progress, but when Julia got an excellent score, she was sent to the SMU whose tuition was cheaper.
It wasn't because the Greens couldn't afford a better university. It was just because her mother didn't like her. Though SMU was in a remote place, it's campus was still in Country D. Gloria had retained her good reputation and spontaneously banished Julia.
As she was confined in her room, Julia would peek at them through a gap of window. Ana was surrounded by many people like a little princess. Ford would sit on a cane chair and read quietly. If Ana spoke to him, he would listen to her patiently.
It looked like a beautiful movie.
Julia was really envious of Ana because she could stay close to Ford without putting any effort.
To her it was just a daydream.
There was never a place for her to stand beside him.
Julia's eyes turned red again out of grievance, but she didn't want to cry in front of Ford.
He would only think that she was making trouble, being unreasonable and trying to attract his attention.
He never knew that she just wanted to find herself so that she could love herself first.
The more she longed for love in the past, the more she was afraid of it now.
When people fell in love with another person, they always hoped that they could get a response. They might be satisfied with being devoted at the very beginning, but as time went by, they would ask for more returns.
Therefore, unrealistic expectation was equal to chronic poison.
...
The wind stopped. The moon peered behind the dark clouds. The night sky was calmed again.
Ford frowned and asked again, "What do you mean?"
"You won't understand." He didn't know her, not even for a second.
She tried to protect herself by being selfish materialistic because of insecurity, especially when she was dealing with her intimate relationship.
Julia slightly turned her head away. Her face was half covered by her long hair. She tightly pursed her lips, pretending to be tough.
Ford said softly, "Tell me...."
Julia ignored her own suffering and said, "Our marriage keeps reminding me how I achieved it. All of this is a mistake. I apologized for my previous offense. Let's stop it in time."
Even in the dim light, he could see how hard she tried to be tough.
His heart, which had been filled with anger, was immediately softened. The mole beneath his eye could be seen clearly in the moonlight. He looked so frustrated.
He had to keep all the hurtful words to himself and he was so helpless.
It was hard to guess what Julia was thinking. He thought that taking a break was good for each other, but he was wrong.
Questions buzzed in his head. Why was she so obsessed with getting a divorce?
How could he make a best decision for her?
The car started.
Julia was quite stunned for being so timid. Realizing that the car was started, she hurriedly asked, "What are you doing?"
Ford looked ahead without being distracted and said, "Taking you home." His tone was still cold but softer.
They were silent on their way back.
Unlike before, the car was moving steadily at a slow speed.
Julia looked at him from the corner of her eyes.
Under the dim light, Ford's face was blurry in semidarkness. It seemed like he was in contemplation because he was motionless.
When they reached Cloud Bay Apartment, it was already late at night.
Julia was half asleep, but she woke up as the car stopped. Her voice was a little hoarse, "Thank you."
She got off the car quickly. After walking for a few steps, she turned to the half—descending window and said, "Thank you so much. I hope you can think about it seriously."
"Thank me for what? What should I think about?" Ford asked knowingly just to confirm her answers.
Julia gently scratched her toes on the ground and said, "Thank you for helping me with the movie and every other thing. I can divorce you without taking anything away. You can think about it."
Once she made the decision, there's no need to hesitate.
She didn't want to waste her time for the money. It was better to break up with dignity and good memory.
Ford's hand on the steering wheel tightened slightly. It was hard to know what he was thinking as his face was in the shadow.
After a while, he said, "I will."
....
Year Villa was quiet. When Julia lived here, she would always turn on the light in the hallway every night until dawn. She was afraid of the darkness.
Ford was doing the same thing now. The yellow light looked so warm. It was true that if you kept doing something, it would become a habit.
He thought about Julia's interview videos that he just searched online. In one of them, she was forcing a smile.
"I also want to have a sweet relationship. I want to be pursued by the person I like. I want to be tolerated when I was willful or coquettish. I don't want to worry about the gains and losses in the relationship. I don't want to feel that I'm unworthy either."
Another thing occurred to him.
A young girl in an old cotton dress, blushing slightly, boldly asked, "Ford, can you chase back after me?"
But he ignored her.
Ford stood still in the entrance. After a while, he picked up his phone and typed a few words. After pondering for a long time, he pressed down and sent them.
....
When Julia returned home, Lily had already fallen asleep on the bed. She was a typical starfish sleeper who occupied the whole bed while sleeping.
Julia washed up and laid on the sofa with a thin blanket in her arms, trying to recall her memory. She sent Andrew a message through Facebook before the live broadcast today. He asked her what was wrong but she didn't reply because too many things happened after that.
It was impolite to reply him now since it was late at night. She could only wait until tomorrow.
As soon as she put her phone on the tea table, it vibrated. It was not Facebook's tone.
Julia paused a moment. She was having a mixed feeling. She picked up her phone. It was a message from Ford.
"I agreed. Let's do it tomorrow."
Julia couldn't help but tighten her fingertips as she stared at the screen. It was hard for her to describe her feelings.