Maybe happiness is just not meant for me
Chapter two hundred and five
Anna met Vanessa drinking when she entered the house. She sat on the floor, her head drooped. One of her hands rested on her knee, her other leg was kept straight on the floor. The bottle of alcohol was on the floor, there was no glass there, it appeared that she was drinking directly from the bottle.
"Vanessa?" Anna called out to her and she looked up at her. Anna's eyes were filled with tears the moment their eyes locked. It broke her heart to see her friend like this. She'd never seen her like this before, not even on the night that they told their secrets. This time, Vanessa looked like there was no life in her anymore. Anna was also heartbroken, she was bereaved, and she'd just lost a friend too. But seeing Vanessa weak like that shattered her heart into pieces, and she immediately wanted to be there for her. She didn't know how, but she felt strength in her.
"Do you want to talk?" She asked and Vanessa nodded her head in reply.
"Yeah. It's better to talk it all out, Vanessa. It makes the burden lighter. It makes you feel better." Maybe she was like this because she'd talked to Mr Williams. It was her turn to be the listener, she'd do that for her dear friend.
Anna sat on the floor with her and Vanessa gulped down more contents of the bottle. Anna didn't try to stop her from drinking, she allowed her to drink away her sorrow, just maybe, she might feel better.
"You know, we were perfect. I was so sure that it was him. I was certain that no one completes me like Greg." She scoffed before speaking again.
"Greg?" She questioned, unsure of what to call him. The more she thought of all that transpired between them, the more it shredded her heart into pieces. Greg was just an illusion, one that only existed in her mind. The thought that he wasn't real one bit only made her want to cry all the more.
"I keep thinking about all the memories that we had, all our great moments together, all the love and care he showed me, and I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that they were all just for show. Maybe if he'd told me that he was an actor, I just wouldn't have believed anything he said. He was darn good. I found myself falling even deeper with him with each day that passes. How can I live with the fact that he was just an illusion, Anna? Just how?"
"I came here hoping to heal from the last thing that happened to me, only for something even worse to come my way. Why am I never lucky with love? Am I a bad person, Anna?"
Anna couldn't help but shed tears. Vanessa had been through a lot in her life. But of all that she'd been through, this was the worst of them all.
"No, Vanessa. Don't ever say that again. You are not a bad person, Vanessa. You're in fact, one of the few existing good people in the world, and I'm lucky to have you as my friend. So, don't ever think that you're a bad person. Never."
"But why is happiness so far from my reach, Anna? I just want to be like every other person. Is that too much to ask?"
"This vacation is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I shouldn't have come here, Vanessa. It only got worse when I thought that coming here would make me feel a lot better. I guess I was wrong. Maybe happiness is not just for everyone. Maybe some people are just meant to be alone in this world, and sadly, I'm one of those people."
"You are not alone, Vanessa. You have me, remember?"
"For how long, Anna? Tell me."
"You would eventually find someone that makes you the happiest, someone with whom you would share your deepest secrets, someone who makes you complete, someone who finishes your sentences, someone who brings out the child in you. Anna, you wouldn't always be available," Vanessa said sadly and Anna folded her lips at the realisation of what Vanessa was saying.
"I just have to live with it, Anna. I'll never find the happiness I'm seeking. It's a lost cause." A sad smile appeared on her face and right there, Anna wished that she had some sort of powers that would be potent enough to grant Vanessa's only wish.