Good work banishing him to the shadow realm, Jesse nii-san! Now let’s go!

The shifting halls of the dingy stone keep disoriented Walter and Jesse as their desperate search for a cell was halted at the sound of yelling DEA agents. 

"Oh nosies!" Gor exclaimed from Jesse's pocket, peaking her mech head out. "Heisenberg-sama, there's DEA agents coming from every direction! We need to get Hector's meth before they do!"

Walter hunched down and whispered to Jesse's pocket menacingly. "Do not call me Heisenberg. In front of the DEA, you have no clue who I am except for some scared lost man named Walter White. And you don't need any more meth."

"Yes sir."

Jesse grabbed Walt's coat and yanked him back, so they were flat against the wall just as two DEA agents chased two of Hector's men down a perpendicular hallway. "Mister White, we might need to use Gor to blast out of here."

"No, no, Jesse, if we do anything hostile, the entire DEA is going to be after us."

The mech buzzed up from Jesse's pocket and tapped both of the men on their noses.

"Boop! Now you can use magic, just like me!" Running steps approached from around the corner. "Cloaking!"

Beams of white light shot out of Gor's mech and all three were suddenly invisible. Pressed against the wall, they narrowly avoided being stampeded over by the DEA wyverns crashing down the hallway.

"Walter-sama and Jesse nii-san! I scanned the compound and found a dungeon just like you were looking for! Just follow my directions UwU!" 

Jesse was a little preoccupied as he and Walter began sneaking invisibly down the halls. He was more concerned with using magic. "Yo, Gor, how do I, like, do magic? Can I blow shit up?"

She cackled like a witch, "Hehe yes you can! Just imagine whatever you want to do and you can do it! I have unlimited magic!"

Jesse was amazed to have some bullshit convenient magic that could alter the course of this story dramatically and act as a Deus Ex Machina. Thankfully, the writers of Breaking Bad established that Jesse is kind of an idiot, so he wouldn't be thinking of ways to break the functions of the universe with magic.

Suddenly, a cartel member in a black suit rounded the corner, scanning the hallway. As he passed Jesse, Jesse imagined in his mind that he could banish people to the shadow realm. He reached out to slap the cartel member's back, who swirled with a black portal and disappeared into eternal agony.

Jesse pogged, not realizing that Gor was tugging at his jacket. " Good work banishing him to the shadow realm, Jesse nii-san! Now let's go!"

He quickly remembered that he was being pursued and took off down the corridor, Gor guiding him through the dark halls being swarmed with laser blasts and men from both sides. Thankfully, none of them noticed Jesse in his invisibility. By the time they arrived at the dungeon, they heard Walter's voice.

"You have to help me, these cartel guys have had me locked up here for days! I just want to go home to my family, please-"

"Sir- SIR!" A DEA Agent yelled over Walter's frantic panic.

Jesse peaked his invisible head around the corner to see Walter in a cell, two DEA agents trying to calm him. 

"What the hell?" Jesse whispered to Gor. "When did he get in there?"

"I- I don't know, Jesse nii-san."

Just then, a gleaming light rounded another corner down the hall. None other than Hank Schrader's bald head was the source of the reflected light. Reflected from… nowhere. 

"Oh my God, Hank! You have no idea-"

"Walt? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I-I-IIII don't know! I was attacked by two men after I woke up in this place and they- they put me in this cell! Hank, I don't know what's going on! Where are Skylar and Junior?!"

"Walt, Walt, Walt!" Hand reached through the bars, a concerned, skeptical look on his face. "They're fine, Walt, but the cartel doesn't just take guys for no reason."

Walter took a breath, genuinely calming down from the stressful situation. 

"Pinkman, he's here. He saved me from being killed. He knows that I'm related to you because of the… pot incident. He told them to use me for ransom against you. He's not cartel material, though, so we… formed an alliance… of sorts. He keeps me alive, and I make sure the DEA knows he helped me."

"He didn't get caught in the crossfire, did he?"

"I-I don't know. He mentioned something about magic making him invisible."

Jesse stepped out from around the corner and dropped the invisibility. "Yeah, I did."

The agents whipped around, pointing their guns directly at him.

"Ay! Ay! You heard him, right?! I'm not one of them!"

Hank postured and approached Jesse. "I never thought I'd have to thank a punk like you for saving my brother-in-law."

Jesse smiled snidely. "Well I don't need your thanks. I didn't do it for you."

"Good, cause I wasn't gonna thank you." Hank glared Jesse down, then turned back to Walt.

"I hate to say it, but I'm glad you're here." Hank sighed. "There's this… permanent meth business and all the chemists got scooped up by King Fring. I'm not sure if you can piece together a cure for magic meth, but you could save a lot of people if you did."

"Hank, I… I don't know where I would start. I don't know the first thing about synthesizing methamphetamine, or any amphetamine. Not to mention a cure for a magic meth. Hank, I wish I could help, but without any data or research, it could take years. Chemical effects on the brain are a complex ordeal- neuroscience, chemical makeup, pharmaceutical-"

"Walt," he stared seriously, "you're the only chemist I'd trust on something like this. You won a Nobel Prize for Christ's sake. You're brilliant and right now we need you to do what you do best."

Walter bashfully looked down, secretly reveling in the praise that fueled his insatiable ego. "Hank, I… okay. I'll do what I can." He smiled kindly, trying to lighten the mood. "And I'd love to stay in this cage longer, but…"

Hank returned the smirk. "Jackass." He smashed the lock in his bare hands and ripped the door down with ease. "Alright, good work boys. Regroup at the cinct, coffee on Gomie."

Days, weeks passed. Walt alone read through countless files of research and reports on the magic meth. Jesse stayed close, being under surveillance of the DEA, all while keeping Gor a secret as she painfully detoxed. The mech actually served as an entire living facility. Why? Because I'm high as balls and don't feel like thinking of a good explanation or interesting scene (in Minecraft). So, uh, ~*magic*~ I guess. Nobody cares about Gor anyways. You're all here for the raunchy and explicit dungeon sex scene between Walt and Han-

Okay so we fired that weird guy and he's no longer writing this riveting, nuanced, high-class Breaking Bad isekai fanfiction. I mean, this is basically peak isekai if you think about it (don't think about it).

Ahem-

"Walt," Hank approached Walter, leaning on the table, casting a curious glance at the papers in front of Walter. "You've been researching for three weeks, you have to have made some progress by now."

"Hank, I'm trying my best here, but it's difficult to focus when there's so much work to read and cross-reference. I haven't had time to relax and process this properly. All I've been doing is-"

Hm? One sec.

Hank put his finger on Walt's lips, passionately gazing into Walter's eyes. "I can help you relax." Hank leaned forward and k-

HEY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING AT MY DESK?! YOU'RE VIOLATING THE RESTRAINING ORDER! PAUSE THE TEXT-TO-SPEECH MOTHERFUCKER!

YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM MAKING WALTER AND HANK HAVE HOT, SWEATY GA-

Thug thug thug thug

WAIT PLE-

Thug thug thug thug

THEY WOULDN'T HAVE SEX! HANK HAS MARIE AND IN THE SHOW SHE TAKES GREAT CARE OF HIS SEXUAL NEEDS!

YOU CAN'T STOP THEIR LOVE!

I CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT! WHY IS THE TEXT-TO-SPEECH STILL-

board brok. tabl brok. txt to s brok. nxt wk fnsh sry