Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 446 Sogo Death Flag Arc Finished
Sogo, "..."
"Well, forget it," Kawaki shrugged, glanced at Sogo lightly, and continued, "All I can remind you is - wipe your own ass, and then... remember to wash your hands after you're done. Okay, the next thing is up to you, whether you want them to close their upper mouths or block their lower ones. I won't help..."
After saying that, Kawaki ignored the group of ronins lying on the ground with all their pants taken off, turned around, and walked toward Kagura.
"Leave this little girl to me." Tsukuyo, who had come to Kagura's side at some point in time, put her kiseru to her waist and then reached out to take Kirie from Kagura's back.
"Boss..." Sogo spread out his hands and said helplessly, "What do you want me to do to these guys who peed on their pants and can't even stand up after being scared by you? They look disgusting. I feel like they won't be able to clean themselves without soaking in a hot spring for a year."
"Don't worry. This kind of guy is obviously much cleaner than your ass." Kawaki smiled disapprovingly, "In a sense."
"That's right-aru. He's a guy who lost his ability to control himself." Kagura nodded in agreement.
"I already said that I didn't crap..." Sogo narrowed his eyes and replied with an expressionless face, "That's just a strategy. It's just a combat strategy."
As he spoke, Sogo clenched the sword in his hand tightly. He turned around and slowly walked toward the group of ronins, "But... even if that's the case... I still need to make all of you shut your mouths forever. After all, I also made a lot of perjury about that incident. If Hijikata finds out about it, it is impossible not to be expelled..."
"When did you become so fond of your own work?" Kawaki asked with interest.
"Surrender! We surrender!" After trying to get up several times, Tendo, who still could not get up, quickly looked at Sogo, who was walking toward him step by step with cold eyes, "We will go back with you to the Shinsengumi Station! Please!"
"Samurai have already made up their mind when they go to the battlefield," Sogo said slowly as he walked, "The consciousness of taking someone else's life…and the consciousness of having their life taken away."
"No... no... no!!"
Looking at Tendo in front of him who had peed on his pants again, Sogo coldly waved the sword in his hand, but... in the end, it still did not fall.
"That, boss," Sogo turned to look at Kawaki behind him, "Is there any other good method? It's really disgusting."
"Of course there is," Kawaki narrowed his eyes and smiled. Then, he pointed to Sogo's side, "You can ask that guy with V-shaped bangs next to you or that gorilla on the other side."
"Eh?" Sogo instantly became expressionless.
"Bastard..." Toshiro, who was dressed in casual clothes, gritted his teeth and cursed, "How dare you commit perjury? Go commit seppuku!"
"Calm down, Toshi." Kondo, who only had the important parts of his body covered by leaves, comforted Toshiro as he ate a banana. Then he looked at Sogo and said, "This time can't be solved by writing a letter of repentance, Sogo."
Looking at the Shinsengumi team members wearing casual clothes, Sogo turned to look at Kawaki helplessly, "Boss!"
Kawaki shrugged and smiled, "I never said I would wipe your ass, but they...everyone has prepared high-grade toilet paper and hemorrhoid medicine for you. Then...bye-bye~"
As he spoke, Kawaki turned around and glanced indifferently at Tsukuyo, who was holding Kirie, and Kagura standing beside her.
"Let's go..."
...
Looking at Tsukuyo, who was carrying Kirie, walking at a leisurely pace, and then looking at Kawaki who was leisurely wearing a kimono, Kagura suddenly stopped and sat down on the ground.
"What's wrong?" Kawaki turned around and asked.
"My stomach... I'm so hungry," Kagura rubbed her stomach and said pitifully, "I didn't eat lunch or dinner-aru. I didn't have any strength at all. I even carried Kirie and ran for so long..."
"Then you should rest for a while before you catch up. Goodbye." Kawaki nodded, then turned around and walked forward again.
"Hey! Stupid little uncle! Bastard!" Kagura shouted angrily, "Why did you leave like that-aru?! Did you do it on purpose?! It was definitely on purpose, right?!"
Hearing this, Kawaki's pace gradually slowed down. He then smiled helplessly, raised his hand, and hooked his index finger without looking back.
"Hurry up and keep up, or else I'll really leave you behind."
Seeing this, Kagura's face lit up, and then she instantly got up. After cheering, she rushed toward Kawaki, and with a small jump, she steadily landed on Kawaki's back.
"Really. You're already so big, yet you're still acting like a spoiled child." Kawaki slowly moved, and at the same time, he let out a long sigh, "If it's possible, I'm the one who wants to act like a spoiled child."
"Smell," Kagura put her head on Kawaki's shoulder and grinned with no conscience. "The smell on Little Uncle is very similar to Mommy's."
"Is your mother... as stinky as an uncle?" Tsukuyo looked at Kagura and retorted seriously.
"Hey! What do you mean? Are you saying that I have the stench of an uncle?" Kawaki shouted at Tsukuyo angrily, "Stinky woman! Who has the stench of an uncle!"
"If it's not uncle..." Tsukuyo lowered her head and thought carefully, "Is it the stench of an otaku?"
"I'll really kill you!" Kawaki rolled his eyes and said angrily.
"None of them," Kagura shook her head, then closed her eyes and whispered, "It's the smell of family."
Kawaki glanced at Kagura in surprise. He opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but in the end, he gave up. He smiled gently and gradually quickened his pace.
...
"Little uncle, why does that person not want others to know what Kirie's father did-aru?" Kagura suddenly asked.
"Who knows?" Kawaki answered casually, "You should know that people like Samurai are all very stubborn."
"Although I don't know what kind of bad things her father did, and I don't know how he died, but..." Kagura glanced at Kirie who was sleeping soundly in Tsukuyo's arms, "Is it really the most appropriate way to hide the truth from Kirie and bear the crime alone?"
"Little uncle is not a samurai," Kawaki replied casually, "The thoughts of those stubborn samurai are not something that an otaku like me can know. But... well, isn't the result quite good? It just so happened that the little brat's original wish was fulfilled, and the situation continued as the little brat had hoped. For him, this was the most important point. Therefore, there was no need to ask for a reason. There were many things in the world best not to be known, and knowing about it would only add unnecessary troubles."
"Does little uncle also have-aru? Things you don't want others to know but know them."
"No," Kawaki replied casually, "I hate troublesome things and worries the most."
"I see..."
"Also, men still need to maintain a bit of mystery to be more popular." Kawaki continued, "But never like a certain silver-haired naturally wavy hair that is lazy and slovenly all day and has no energy or brain and stares with dead fish eyes all day long. You have to remember this kind of thing well."
"But little uncle is also lazy and idle all day, and has no energy at all," Kagura said mercilessly.
"Kagura-chan, you don't understand what I mean," Kawaki shook his head, and then continued with a serious face, "The most important thing is other few words. Have a silver-haired naturally wavy hair and stares with dead fish eyes... and... it's bad."
"It feels like you are completely talking about Gin-chan..." Kagura silently retorted.
"So even Kagura-chan thinks that Gintoki is bad." Kawaki said with some emotion, "Ahahahahaha..."
"Yes!"
"You should also pay attention to bald men," Kawaki added, "You should also stay away from Sadist and human glasses. If you meet these kinds of men, you won't be happy for the rest of your life."
"You also mercilessly include yourself in it." Kagura teased with a smile.
"After all, little uncle is considered an outstanding man." Kawaki smiled and then glanced at Kirie, who was buried in Tsukuyo's arms, "And... that little girl over there, if you want to cry, cry out. If you don't even dare to cry out loud when you want to cry, that little brat will definitely feel that everything he does is meaningless."
"Kirie..." Kagura looked at Kirie in disbelief.
"Thank you? Apologize? No, that little brat doesn't want to see that kind of thing." Kawaki continued indifferently, "What he wants is to appear upright in front of him next time and wave your weapon towards him again. Whether it's a kunai or a short sword, as long as it's your own."
Kirie did not reply, but the trembling of her shoulders gradually became more intense...
At this moment, Gintoki's lazy voice came from the side.
"Hey, Kagura, we're here to save you." Gintoki, who was standing not far away from the crowd, raised his hand and waved at Kagura.
"Yes, Kagura-chan, are you okay?" Shinpachi, who was standing beside Gintoki, asked with concern.
However, after seeing their round and bulging bellies, Kagura could not be moved no matter what.
"You two bastards, did you go out to eat something delicious behind my back-aru" Kagura jumped down from Kawaki's back and rushed to the two angrily.
"How is that possible? Gin-san and I have been looking for you all day." Shinpachi hurriedly waved his hand and avoided eye contact.
"Yes, you can't casually frame others." Gintoki continued, pretending to be resentful, "Shinpachi and I have had a hard day today."
"Don't lie!" Kagura sniffed and kicked the two of them to the ground, "Your clothes are covered with the smell of a Jojoen restaurant-aru! It is full of the smell of grilled beef tenderloin and grilled beef tongue! Bastards! You two actually left me and went to that high-end restaurant! Die! Die! Die!"
"No! This is just the smell that stuck when I went to Jojoen to find you!" Gintoki argued loudly.
"Yes! Kagura-chan! It glued itself while looking for you from store to store!" Shinpachi agreed.
"Only a kid would believe it!"
...
On the other side, Toshiro commanded a group of Shinsengumi members to escort these ronins who had given up resisting one by one into the police car. He then came to Sogo, lit a cigarette, and took two drags before he asked lightly, "How's it going? Have you found anything after testing for so long? That man."
"Next time, go by yourself, Hijikata." Sogo spread out his hands and said helplessly, "I feel that if the boss wanted to kill me, I would have died eight hundred times already. That man... Ah, I really don't want to admit that that guy is a human. That kind of strength has clearly exceeded the common sense of living creatures. That kind of monster is not something that we or this country can deal with."
"Of course, you are the most suitable to go. Aren't you friends?" Toshiro smiled and said teasingly.
"It's just that the compatibility is relatively harmonious," Sogo replied, "As a human being, I don't dare to test the other side of the boss easily. But then again, why is Hijikata so obsessed with the boss? Are you lonely? Do you want to join us to play together? If so, you can say it. As long as you talk it out properly, I can also bring the shy you to the next gathering."
"No!" Toshiro rolled his eyes and retorted, "It's that uncle! It was that uncle who asked me to do it!"
"Uncle Matsudaira? What does he want to do?"
"I don't know." Toshiro casually replied, "He probably wants to seek cooperation or something. If we pull that guy who has a great deterrent power to the Bakufu to our side, the Shogun's situation might be better..."
"If that's the case, you can persuade Uncle to give up." Sogo shrugged, "Boss won't do such a troublesome thing."
"Tsk..."
...
Two weeks later, Sogo, who was dressed in casual clothes and had been punished with three thousand letters of repentance by Toshiro, lay on the table in the room and slept soundly.
Beside Sogo was Kamiyama, who was writing at the desk.
"Speaking of which, Captain, have you seen the little girl from the Rokkaku Inn after that?" Kamiyama suddenly thought of something and stopped writing and looked at Sogo.
"No, I haven't seen her." Sogo took off his blindfold and yawned.
"Eh?! Then does she still think that the captain is her father's killer?! Maybe she will target you again!"
"I heard that she was taken away by a relative in the countryside. We should not have the chance to see her again. She is really a little kid who will cause trouble for others." Sogo replied helplessly.
"It would be great if she could live a happy life, so happy that she would forget about the captain. But speaking of which, captain, your personality is so unforgettable!"
"I don't want to hear that from you..."
Just as Sogo finished speaking, a kunai shot straight toward Sogo from outside the door. However, its speed... was a little slow, and it was obvious that it was a newbie.
Sogo calmly stretched out two fingers to catch the kunai and took off the small note tied to it.
"Enemy attack?! In the Shinsengumi Station?!" Kamiyama instantly got up and rushed outside the door.
"Ah, yes, enemy attack." After glancing at the contents of the paper, Sogo folded the paper and casually stuffed it into his bosom. Then he smiled and continued, "It's really troublesome. Another difficult enemy has set her eyes on me."
"Where?! Where is it?!"
At this time, Sogo, who felt the phone in his bosom vibrating, took out the phone and opened it. It was Kawaki's message.
[Half of the reward has already been credited to your account, please introduce a better girl next time. Then, one last reminder, after you finish what you want to do with that Assyama, remember to clean it up.]
"Kamiyama, what exactly did you say to the boss?" After putting away the phone, Sogo asked expressionlessly.
"What? Of course, it was to show him the symbol of our unbreakable relationship!" Kamiyama stood up, saluted, and replied loudly, "The scar on the ass left by the captain's sharp weapon! It's a symbol of our relationship that proves that the captain and I can give each other our backs and ass boldly!"
"DIE--!!!"
(This arc is over.)
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