Chapter 1

THE BEGINNING

“ MUM!!!! “ I screamed as she choked on her own blood

I woke up with a sweat covered body and a tear filled pillow. I touched my eyes and they felt quite swollen .

“Another nightmare. When would they end ; when would I be free from their nightly torments “ I thought

“4:50 “ my alarm clock read. I couldn’t go back to sleep not because I was unable to but because I didn’t want to. The nightmares only had power over me when I slept. I was a prisoner to them as they held me in chains, chains which I was too weak to break.

I reminisced about the good old times. Times when the list of my worries was what I wanted to eat.. Times when I woke up to the melodious laughs from my mother and the declarations of love from my father. Times when I laughed freely and loudly without a care in the world. Laughter that would begin from your stomach and worked its way up. Times when I had friends that I cherished with every fiber of my being .

“Ewww” I would go and put on a show of gagging as I watch my father softly kiss my mother’s forehead and even more softly kiss her swollen belly. She would always blush as though it was a first kiss ; as though they were teenage lovers .

My father knew exactly how to pacify her during a fight . He would work kisses from her forehead down to her lips paying more attentions to her plump red lips .

“ Don’t do that!, not in front of Rosa” she would glare and lightly hit him .

But by then her angry was forgotten . It was a regular occurrence as we came up with a song for it .

“ A little kiss here , a little kiss there . A loving kiss there , a loving kiss here puts out a simmering heat “ .

My parents were true mates , the rarest form of mates to encounter …. Their love was as strong and deep as the tides on a disturb ocean . My mother was like a drug to my father , he was intoxicated by anything and everything she did .

Was It her laugh, her smile or the way her cheeks turned red when she became agitated or angry. I would catch him just gazing at her as if she was an oasis in a desert.

I had always been a mummy’s girl, not wanting to share her with anyone. The first time I heard the discussion her being pregnant came up. I threw a tantrum.

“ No!. I don’t want a sibling, you can’t make me want them “ I cried on the brink of hysterics. Nothing was getting through. I ran to my room as my little legs could take me, spilling and tossing everything in my path.

“Rosa “ My Mom ran after me. When she came into my room it just made me cry harder. My little brain just couldn’t accept the fact, the fact that I wasn’t going to be the only one anymore.

“ Have I been bad.. Is that why you want to replace me? I promise to clean up after myself, I promise to take my training seriously… I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please don’t replace me! Please don’t stop loving me “ I pleaded as tears streamed down my cheeks.

“ Rosa “ hugging me to her “ I would never replace you! I would never stop loving you! Besides I’m not yet pregnant so you don’t have to worry your pretty head over anything. “ “ But wouldn’t you want someone to take care of, someone to look up to you? She tried reasoning with me.

Beep, Beep, Beep.

7 o’clock

My train of thought was cut short as my alarm went off. I was already dreading the day as a heavy sigh left my lips.

Another Day to be Humiliated

Another Day to be Ignored

Another Day to be reminded of my deadly actions.

Another Day to be Abused.

No!!! I wasn’t going to let my mind wander to that day. The dreadful day that changed everything for me. For now I was going to take the day a step at a time , hoping it wasn’t going to be as terrible as the day before.

As I stretched, a sharp pain went through my back . I turned to the dainty mirror that lined the walls of what I called my room . New scars decorated the old ones making an almost scary but intriguing photomontage . I remembered the whip lashes that formed the new scars , I had incurred the previous day .

“ No! Please no more.. Please I didn’t mean to sleep on duty.. Please stop “ I didn’t bother calling out for help, knowing fully well no one bothered enough to help me not even my father. In fact HE was delivering the blows to me.

“ You had one job!! Clean the pack house before pack meeting!!!! You couldn’t even do that right!.” Spit flew from his mouth.

“ Father please I beg you! ….. It wouldn’t happen again! , please show mercy “ I was on the verge of passing out .

He chuckled bitterly “ Mercy?!!..Mercy??!!! Do you understand what mercy is?!. Mercy is what I have shown since that day , Mercy is me not killing you . I have been nothing but merciful to you. You weren’t mine but I took you in! Raised you!! Fed you!!! Loved you!! . Haven’t I not been merciful enough??!.”

“I lost her because of you! The only person that mattered to me is gone and it’s all your fault! .. Why weren’t you killed?, why weren’t you taken!? Why her? Why my sweet Evelyn? “ He dropped the whip as heart-retching sobs wrecked through his body.

I knew his mind never left that day, I knew he wasn’t really angry about me not carrying out my duties. He was angry about what I did. The guilt he carried about not getting there on time gradually turned to Anger.

I bore everything he dished out. From the whipping down to the maltreatment… I couldn’t blame him…. His mate was gone and it was all my fault. I wished I didn’t run that day, that I had waited like I was instructed . The beatings were my punishment and I took it hoping it would ease a fraction of the guilt I felt.

“ THAT’S ENOUGH!!!” The door was pushed open.

I heard a growl as I passed out and wondered “ who was bold enough to stand up to my father?.”