The Road to Rata Sum

I rose up out of the waters of Viathan Lake, glistening in the sunlight, pulling four dead krait behind me by their tails. The women of the fishing village, Triskellion Quay, waited at the pier.

"Oh my, Lord Grax." Spoke their leader, the mayor's wife, "With all the meat you bring to us, we just won't be able to take it all."

"Don't worry ladies." I grinned, "It may seem scary at first, but I am sure we will find a way to fit it all in."

"Why, I have already had to send my husband to expand the smokers three days in a row." the mayor's wife looked my body up and down, "It looks like we will need to send the men out for another day of construction."

"I am just doing my civic duty." I informed the crowd of hungry eyed women.

After all, before I got here this village was on its way from going from the last fishing village in the area, to a ghost town. Now all these hungry people who couldn't get food from the lake because of the krait have a whole new source of culinary delight.

And I don't mean all the dick I have been feeding these ladies.

"Ah, Lord Grax!" Shouted a gang of teenagers, "Another successful day slaying monsters and providing meat to the hungry. We can't wait to grow up and be just like you."

The boys said some more of that kind of stuff while they dragged the dead krait off to go be butchered and smoked to be eaten at a later date, seeing as fresh meat was in huge supply with my one man war against the sea lizards pulling in a bountiful harvest.

Our time in the Treskellion Vale and Viathan Lake came to its natural conclusion and we pressed on south, following the road atop the cliffs skirting the lake and into Caledon Forest, the safest part of the Maguuma Jungle and home to the Pale Tree and her children the Sylvari. If not for the Inquest I would put the Metrica Province as the safest part of the jungle, on account of Zhaitan's Risen constantly washing up on the beaches of this region, but a bunch of mindless and weak cast off zombies don't hold up as a threat versus the Hydra of Guild Wars.

The road through the Treemarch Estuary was a beautiful strip of causeway defended from the local Krait by the Lionsguard of Kraitbane Haven, a multi towered fort built on a small island in the middle of the river that fed Quetzal Bay. We wouldn't be going through the more scenic parts of this area as our path lead us straight to the Wychmire Swamp and just around the Twilight Arbor, the home of the Nightmare Court (Sylvari counter faction that reject the teachings of Ventari, the Centaur philosopher who tended the young Pale Tree alongside the Human warrior Ronan. They seek to purge all non-native thinking from the Pale Tree and the Dream of Dreams to bring about a pure Sylvari mindset. Ironically they are unaware that they are just slaves for the jungle dragon, Mordremoth and it is the teachings of Ventari that allow Sylvari to resist his influence.)

Though out of our way, I did snag a few Nightmare Courtiers for a snack and found their unique plant bodies to have a surprisingly meaty flavor. They were a functional plant recreation of the human form, and had all the organs and infrastructures of a normal human body. I'd be very interested to do a more scientific analysis of effects of consuming Sylvari, specifically their macro and micronutrient profiles, but there just aren't enough of them in the world for them to become a sustainable part of a balanced diet for any but the eccentric.

Too bad, as I bet they are great for heart health.

Our last leg of the journey through this region brought us to the Trader's Green and the Town of Cathal, a location full of structures grown from plants and fastened together. The Sylvari mostly used these shelters for their food stocks and dinner tables as despite the capacity for photosynthesis, the plant men are omnivorous and prefer to be outside mostly.

With no reason to stay in the settlement, we continued into the Metrica Province.

The theme of bad guys owning the borders continued as built into the cliffs alongside the path into the Province was an honest to God Inquest stronghold in all its shining glory full of Inquest Agents that attacked people traveling on the road so they can be used in experiments.

How do we know this? Well the guy shouting 'Fresh Subjects!' right before the little house elf looking mother fuckers swarmed out of their fortress to subdue us was a solid hint.

Too bad for them, this was a 'Fresh Meat!' situation and I always win those.

The fortress incorporated the Asuran love of cubes and anti grav magi tech. They especially enjoyed making cubes float with said anti grav tech, either in whole or in deconstructed puzzle pieces. Puzzle pieces being the third big theme in Asuran architecture.

I for one am pro all of those things, so I had a real fun time moving through the Inquest stronghold seeing all the neat little features that the Tryian House Elves love so much. Thank God that Asura love being in huge rooms and hallways despite being a diminutive subterranean species, so I had no problem navigating their base. Hell, I could move a company of Jotun through this base and those guys are both huge and stupid.

The Inquest themselves were substandard warriors, using their advanced tech to make up for their physical limitations, the greatest of this is their many many many golems. I looked foreword to learning golemancy at the College of Statics, then what the Asura are researching to improve their golemancy at the College of Dynamics, then learning why golemancy and all other fields of magic work at the College of Synergistics.

I sure had a lot to study once we get to Rata Sum.

After killing all the Asura, I made sure to take all their swag. Bags of Holding are fucking dope for guys looking to loot. I even considered prying up the floor tiles in honor of Meng Huo, but his story didn't really end well, so best not to emulate the guy.

The rest of our journey through the Province was smooth travelling despite the presence of enormous bugs and spiders giving me flashbacks to Tuchanka and the Insect Armageddon.

Good times.

Our last steps in the Province were though the town of Soren Draa, a location housing an Asura Gate (portal tech) to the new capital Rata Sum. Soren Draa was a large series of labs and demonstration fields for newly graduated Asura to show off their research projects, talent, and knowledge to prospective Krewes. The Krewe system is how the Asura prefer to organize themselves, and are temporary working alliances and corporations that form around a single task and dissolve after the task is completed with the various members going their separate ways in search of new projects and Krewes to join.

That temporary preference is common throughout the lives of the little creatures, as even their marriages are structured with a final separation in mind after a set amount of time or children. Hell, the couple will fight harder over who gets what research and equipment rather than who gets the kids.

It boggles the mind that these eggheads think they deserve to rule Tyria. Academics make even worse governors than politicians, due in large part to the fact that the typical academic is a poorly rounded person. Politicians tend to be round, it is hard for their crooked spines to straighten out under the weight of all that special interest money they are raking in, or better yet all the money they have embezzled, stolen, or betrayed their country for.

With all that going on it may seem strange that academics are worse than politicians, but that lies in the belief in ideas. Academics more than anyone else live lives that allow them to spend massive amounts of time playing out bad ideas without ever paying the consequences of them. If you don't believe me, how is that Women's Studies degree helping you in the job search.

A college professor can be a devout Marxist, despite the over hundred million people slain in the twentieth century by the Communists and the purge of collegiate professors carried out by Stalin and Mao after the Communist take over of China and Russia. Nothing like a person so sheltered and ignorant that they can espouse an ideology that if taken up by everyone else will have them dragged into the streets and beaten to death.

That is why academics are shit at running countries.

But the Asura are cool. They are going to teach me some neat shit.