Book 2, Chapter 4 - Citadel

I honestly thought our ship would have been fired upon immediately after exiting the relay, the giant space station known as the Citadel lying off in the distance. But the Illusive Man must have used his connections, as although we couldn't use Alliance shipping lanes and docks, we were allowed to proceed along civilian shipping lanes, eventually docking in an area of the Citadel I certainly wasn't used to.

Once the ship docked, Miranda approached me with a datapad on which there was the rota of staff who would remain on the ship, the rest being given time off the ship. Very few had a chance or had wanted to leave the ship on Omega, and since I didn't know how long we'd be on the Citadel, I figured a few hours for most people wouldn't do any harm.

So the crew were now anxiously waiting to leave the ship as it docked, hearing the pressure equalise and the door ping to let us know it was now safe to leave. "Do I have to stand here and give you all a speech about behaving?"

"No, sir," was the immediate reply.

"I am aware of the organisation we are all here representing in one capacity or another. No matter what your core beliefs, be aware that Cerberus is not popular in these parts. So try not to draw attention to yourselves. It would be best if you avoided wearing any clothing with the symbol, though it is your choice as to following that advice or not. Other than that, the rota has been sent out and you know when your shifts are. Otherwise, you are free to come and go as you please, but be ready to depart at a moment's notice in case something goes wrong. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay. Then enjoy your shore leave. Try not to come back bloodied, bruised or blind drunk."

I stepped to the side as the crew walked off in pairs or small groups. Zaeed was still dressed in his armour, suggesting he'd take a look around, as he'd only ever transited via the Citadel, never stopping for longer than a couple of hours. Miranda would remain on the ship, so Jacob was taking the opportunity to get off the ship, taking my advice by wearing casual clothing. As for Garrus, he would be joining me in heading to see whoever would be willing to see me. I wasn't hopeful but I figured having an ally who had been at my side while taking down Saren couldn't hurt.

"Well, at least they let us dock," he stated as we walked away from the ship.

"I was still expecting to be blown out of the sky. I mean, the ship's got a massive Cerberus logo on it. Someone, that someone being the Illusive Man, has definitely pulled some strings, spread a little influence."

"Or they've heard you're back and want to hear your side of the story?"

"Or I'm walking into a trap, I'll be arrested, interrogated, and the Collectors will continue to do as they please until someone finally listens to me."

Heading into the embassy area, somewhere more familiar than the docks where we had landed, there were small signs of the carnage that had taken place two years ago but there was no real surprise to see the Presidium and the Citadel Tower had been repaired first. I'd noticed on the flight in the reconstruction taking place along the Wards. Guess that was always going to take time, but still, no surprise the Council would focus on themselves first.

The receptionist was definitely taken aback when looking up from her screen to see me standing in front of her. Asking who was in the Alliance embassy, she said Captain Anderson was in though Councillor Udina was not at his desk. "That's fine, I'll speak with Anderson for now."

"I'll let him know you're coming."

"Oh, I'm sure he already knows I'm here."

Walking into Udina's office, whether it was still the one he used, Anderson was wearing Alliance blues, and I could see the Council had already convened, noticing the turian, asari and salarian councillors, or their holographic forms anyway. Anderson turned and actually seemed pleased to see me. "Shepard, good to see you!"

I'd always respected the man, and though there wasn't a salute, he offered his hand, which I accepted. "It's been a while. sir. I hope you're doing alright."

"There have been some rough spots, but it's good to have you back."

The Council wasted no time getting down to grilling me. No surprise there. Councillor Valern was the first to turn the screw. "We've heard many rumours surrounding your unexpected return. Some of them are… unsettling."

"We called this meeting as soon as your ship arrived through the relay, so you could explain your actions, Shepard," Councillor Tevos added, "We owe you that much. After all, you saved our lives in the battle against Saren and his geth."

I sighed immediately, sharing a glance with Garrus, who shrugged his shoulders helplessly, as if to say 'I told you so'. As for Anderson, he didn't look my way, so I looked back at the Council. "So what I've been told was true. Look, you know, I know, Saren wasn't the one commanding the geth. It was the Reaper, Sovereign."

"Ah, yes. Reapers," Councillor Sparatus status, mocking me with air quotes, "The immortal race of sentient starships allegedly waiting in dark space. We have dismissed that claim."

"How can you dismiss a claim when parts of the Reaper landed all across the fucking Presidium?" I retorted.

"Shepard, no-one else encountered the hologram on Ilos that told you the truth about the Reapers," Anderson stated, "Only you and your crew every spoke with Sovereign. I believe you, but without evidence from another source, the others think Saren was behind the geth attacks."

"Have you even spoken to Liara T'Soni about all of this?" I asked all of them, "Unless you think she was full of shit as well. Or how about Urdnot Wrex? Even Garrus here could have told you all about the Reapers. Are you calling them liars are well? Or insane? Trust me, I've heard the stories."

"The Reapers are a myth, Shepard," Sparatus retorted, "One that you and your followers keep perpetuating."

"Has anyone even investigated the millions of bits of Sovereign that fell onto the Presidium? You cannot honestly believe it's a geth creation?!"

"We do not believe it is anything except exactly that," Valern replied.

It was like talking to a brick wall. In fact, worse than that, it was like speaking to Saren. I almost believe for a moment that the fools had been indoctrinated themselves. The evidence had been as clear as day. Anyone who thought Sovereign was anything but a Reaper was deluded.

"The geth are capable of remarkable technological achievements, Shepard. This is probably why Saren recruited them," Tevos added.

Then Sparatus came at me hard. "This Reaper theory proves just how fragile our mental state is. You have been manipulated, by Cerberus and before them, by Saren."

"Fuck you, Councillor. I kept Saren from conquering the Citadel and the Reapers from flooding through and destroying the galaxy. I sacrificed human lives to save your sorry arses. I should have just let them burn this whole sorry place to the fucking ground. Morons, absolute fucking morons. You know what? I'm done here."

I was about ready to go when Tevos then issued a veiled threat. "We are in a difficult position, Shepard. You are working for Cerberus, an avowed enemy of the Council. That is treason, a capital offence."

"That is too far!" Anderson shouted, even catching me by surprise, "Shepard is a hero. If Councillor Udina were here, he wouldn't let this whitewash continue."

I didn't believe that for a second. I'd made an enemy out of Udina long ago. He'd love nothing more than throwing my sorry arse to the wolves. So I looked at Garrus. "Garrus, am I working for Cerberus?"

"No, Shepard. Not as far as I know. Am I?"

"No, you're not either." I looked back at the Council. "Whatever gave you the idea that I'm working for Cerberus?"

"The fact you have been seen in the company of their operatives," Valern replied.

"Merely assisting with an issue on Omega."

"And the fact you have arrived at the Citadel on one of their ships," Sparatus added.

"Merely providing transport for me to go from Omega to here." They knew it was bullshit, so did I, Garrus and Anderson. "So I guess I'm not getting any help from you again then? Should have fucking known this was a waste of time. Come on, Garrus. I've got other fish to fry. At least I don't have to waste…"

"Before you go, Shepard, perhaps you should hear me out," Tevos stated, "Maybe there is a compromise that this can work. We cannot give a public acknowledgement, given your ties, but something to show peripheral support for what you are doing."

Now it was my turn. "What, you mean the thousands upon thousands of human colonists that are being kidnapped by a race called the Collectors, that once again the Council is refusing to lift a finger to help with? You did the same when Saren was running riot and now you're doing the same again, sitting on your hands, doing fuck all to help," I laughed before adding, "And this time, we're even a member of the fucking Council and still you won't do a damned thing to help out. I mean, fuck me gently, what does humanity have to do to actually get help from people they call allies?"

Tevos then offered an olive branch. "If you keep your activities restricted to the Terminus Systems, the Council is willing to offer you reinstatement as a Council Spectre."

"This is a show of good faith on our part, Shepard," Valern added. I looked at Sparatus, who remained silent. I had a feeling he didn't agree. And then Tevos added more about the Council not able to get involved, the usual bullshit I heard from them when Saren was attacking human colonies. But apparently giving me my Spectre status was a show of support. One man and one ship, just like before, instead of sending a fucking armada to deal with the problem.

I glanced at Garrus. "What do you think?"

"Well, throwing it back in their face probably won't do us any good, though I can understand the feeling of wanting to tell them to go fuck themselves."

"It is tempting."

"Shepard," Anderson warned quietly, "Take the offer, otherwise you will be persona non grata, and the Alliance will involve themselves."

"I guess that's a second not so subtle warning," I muttered before I sighed. "Very well. I thank the Council for their offer and I accept your proposal." I might be hot-headed at times but I'm not an idiot, and I didn't need the Council as enemies, as they'd definitely send a Spectre after me. Probably more than one, to be honest.

"Thank you, Shepard. While you insist you are not working for Cerberus, it is clear that you are working alongside them during this task. We can only hope your relationship with them will end quickly."

"You and I both, ma'am. But it's a means to an end."

The three holographs blinked out as I found a chair to finally sit down in, Garrus taking one of the chairs next to me, as Anderson sat behind the desk. "You realise it's just symbolic. Council won't do a damned thing."

"Long as they don't get in my way, Anderson, I honestly don't give a shit. But staying on good terms will have a benefit in the long run. What about the Alliance?"

"Now that you're a Spectre, their options are limited. If Admiral Hackett doesn't already know you're back, I'll let him know immediately. You'll always have an ally in him. I'm sure others will be glad to hear of your return. We'll try and keep the Cerberus link under wraps, but it's going to be difficult."

He was interrupted by the sound of Udina's voice as he walked through the door into the office. I spun around in my chair and made sure I had a grin on my face as he glared daggers in my direction. "What are you doing here, Shepard?"

"Shooting the shit with an old friend, getting things sorted. Just had a meeting with the Council as well. Didn't get what I wanted but could have been worse."

Udina saw red about that, mentioning things like a political shit-storm and moaning about being stabbed in the back. I just looked at Garrus and rolled my eyes. Udina and Anderson had a tit-for-tat, which I didn't get involved in, except when he threatened to sack Anderson. "Oi, this man was just doing his job and he's got a win for all of us. So pull your head out of your arse, Udina," I warned.

He glared at me again before he gave it some thought. Then he mentioned one or two other things, particularly about keeping his distance, then he chose to piss off, much to my enjoyment. Anderson then filled me in with what I'd missed, particularly on the Citadel, but it was what I'd heard from Garrus and Miranda. Losing nearly an entire fleet hadn't helped the Alliance, and they were in the middle of building up that fleet, while moving the others around. With the Collectors on the rampage, it was more a case of where would they strike next, and moving fleets around wasn't an easy job. And they couldn't go leaving other areas undefended, particularly along the frontier. It all made sense, but it was still annoying.

"How long are you staying on the Citadel?" he finally asked.

"No idea. Not long probably. I have a feeling I won't be particularly welcome for the time being."

"You know I'd like to help but my hands are tied. Udina will certainly be watching me now after the stunt we've just pulled. But I'll keep in contact, best I can."

I rose to my feet, Garrus doing the same. "It was good to see you, sir. I'd fill you in with more of what happened, but I could be here all day explaining."

"Short story, Shepard."

"I was pretty much dead. Cerberus retrieved my body, spent billions putting me back together, I woke up maybe a week or so ago. The Illusive Man has given me a ship, staff, credits, guns, armour, possible recruits, and a mission to stop the Collectors. If the Council won't, and the Alliance can't, then I'll do what I need to do." I paused before asking, "How long did the Alliance search for my body?"

"A week at most."

"And the Council?"

"They didn't."

I scoffed. "Typical. Save their arses and don't even have the decency to look for my body."

"There's a statue of you on Elysium if you want to go see it. Think one or two other worlds were thinking of doing the same thing."

"His ego is big enough, Anderson," Garrus joked.

"Keep it up, funny man, and I'll be locking you in the front batteries." I paused. "No, that's no punishment. You'd fucking love it."

Anderson escorted us to the door, shaking hands again, offering me a final good luck, before Garrus and I headed back out into the middle of the Presidium. "Shepard, if you don't mind, I'm going to go see Chloe. How long will we be here?"

"Long enough for you to get laid and spend the night. Go have some fun, Garrus."

"And what are you going to do?"

"See an old friend."

I watched Garrus walk away as I headed towards the nearest taxi rank. Heading towards one of the Wards, it was good fortune I remembered her address. I didn't think she'd be home but I'd attempt once and then just return if she wasn't. Getting out of the taxi, I walked into the foyer and straight for the lift, taking it up to the floor. Her door hadn't changed so all I did was knock. I knocked again twice more but there was no response, so I headed downstairs towards the nearest coffee shop.

While I was there, Miranda sent me a message. A simple 'Read this please', opening the attachment to see another dossier. Kasumi Goto. Professional thief. On the Citadel. Meet her at the docks. Checking the time, I figured my old friend was going to be at least a couple more hours, so I caught a cab back to the docks and checked the dossier again. It mentioned I'd need a password. Fuck, that's all I need. Cloak and daggers.

Wandering around aimlessly, the only way I knew something was amiss was when a nearby advertisement started talking to me. Walking towards it, the face of a hooded woman appeared. I could only see lips with a purple marking and rather pale skin, but the rest of her face was in shadow.

"Commander Shepard. Enter the password and receive a free gift!"

I really felt like telling her this was stupid, but I said, "Silence is golden."

"Good to finally meet you, Commander Shepard. I'm Kasumi Goto. Big fan of yours."

I looked around and saw a woman up on the next level, in the shadows. I knew it was her but looked back at the screen. "What's with all the sneaking around? You're not the only one looking at a world of trouble with all this."

"I'm the best thief in the business, not the most famous. Need to watch my step to keep it that way. I also needed to make sure this was legit. And you're definitely him."

"How can you be so sure?"

"There's an aura about you, Shepard, like you've seen things no-one else has seen. Plus, I had a picture of what you looked like. You're him, so don't worry."

"Okay, there's got to be a catch. You won't be working for free. And Cerberus would have to have offered you something to join up."

"You're right, Shepard. Short version, they were looking for me, I trailed them to find out why, they explained the missions' importance, and it came with a serious signing bonus. I have a thing I need help with, which I can explain to you later, so I made the deal."

"Okay, I'll ask about the thing later. Do you need anything before going aboard?"

"Nope, just wanted to meet and greet before we left." And, with that, the screen went blank and before I knew it, she was standing next to me. She was short, only about five-four, five-five at most, slim, but clearly athletic considering she must have jumped down from the walkway above. Her face was still covered by the hood. "Well, you're more impressive from down here, Shepard."

"I seem to make an impression most of the time."

"When are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning, Citadel time. If you have stuff that needs taking aboard, you're free to take it on. Otherwise, you can come and go as you please but just be on the ship when we leave."

"No worries, sir," she replied, a mock salute in my direction.

I couldn't help laugh as she was clearly going to be a lot of fun. She didn't seem to have any luggage but assumed it might be nearby. Checking the time, it was starting to get late, so I grabbed a taxi and headed back to the same Ward as earlier, and took a seat at the same coffee shop, enjoying two drinks before the person I wanted to see appeared. I watched her disappear so figured I'd give it at least a little time before I just showed up at her door. I had a third coffee, thinking the caffeine was going to keep me awake all night, before I paid the bill and wandered across towards the building.

I was standing in front of her door a couple of minutes later, knocking lightly. "Coming," I heard a voice shout from inside. When she opened the door, I think she nearly passed out from the shock.

"Hello, Emily," I said softly.

I think she went between wanting to burst into tears, slap me, or give me a hug. Thankfully she went with the last option, practically jumping on me, arms and legs wrapped tightly around my body as I walked inside, knocking the door closed with my foot. "I can't believe it!" she cried, leaning back so she could meet my eyes, "I've heard the rumours. Your name is being talked about by every station on the Citadel and back on Earth. The man who came back from the dead." She then seemed to realise I'd carried her into the living room, so she finally unwrapped herself so I could place her on the ground. "It's been so long, Shepard. How long have you been back?"

"I woke up around a week ago. I only got back to the Citadel today."

"You want a drink or something?"

"I've just had three coffees."

"Oh, I'm talking alcohol, Shepard. Want a beer or something?"

"That I'll definitely accept." I took a seat on one of her couches, relaxing immediately, as she returned with a bottle of beer for me and a glass of wine for herself. She sat next to me, rather close, so I figured she was pleased to see me. "Though you were going to give me a good old slap when seeing my face."

"The thought briefly crossed my mind for a second. But it was far too good seeing you. A hug seemed more appropriate. But enough about me. Shepard, where the hell have you been? I mean, they had a funeral, put you in the ground, figuratively speaking, and you've since become a bit of a legend. Others, well…"

"Yeah, insane. I've been told. Council pretty much called me delusional when I met them earlier."

"So what happened to you?" I explained what I'd already told Anderson and the Council. The short story, she didn't need the long version where I told her that I was practically dead and brought back like Lazarus. I think that was his name. "So… Cerberus. You're not part of them?"

"No. But they are giving me everything I need to fight the Collectors."

"I've been reporting on the disappearing colonists. Alliance didn't have a clue. Although they were covering a lot of it up at the same time."

"That comes as no surprise because they appear to be clueless. And the Council are giving their usual lip service." My tone obviously spoke volumes. "Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to come here and complain. What about you, Emily?"

"I'm now the news presenter on Alliance Network news. I do the midday and evening bulletins."

"No more investigative journalism?"

"I'll be honest, they offered me a lot of money. I made a name for myself thanks to the help you provided. The ANN didn't want to lose me so offered me a great big fat salary to keep me. Good thing they did as other networks were definitely offering comparative salaries. I owed them some loyalty, at least."

"Personal life?"

"Well, after you disappeared, I have dated here and there, but I'm generally too busy as I still do some jobs on the side. Mostly Citadel based stuff. Council are dirty as anything, Udina being the worst. Corruption is everywhere, but I guess you'd know that. The only organisation that seems cleaner than before is C-Sec. Couple of hard-heads have taken charge, really cleaned out the place."

I listened but it wasn't what I wanted to know. "So you're single right now?"

She laughed at the insinuation. "Yes, I'm single, Shepard. No, I'm not sleeping with you straight away. I was… gutted when I received the news. No, not gutted. You made me cry!"

"Sorry. I would like to say it wasn't my fault. Still not sure who blew up the old Normandy."

"I dealt with the grief, as did a lot of people. Have you contacted many of the old crew who survived?"

"I found Garrus Vakarian on Omega. I assume you heard the rumours I was there?" She nodded. "He's the only one I've met up with so far." I paused. "No, wait, I did meet Tali'Zorah. She was on Freedom's Progress rescuing a quarian, though she chose not to join me. Cerberus connection made it a no go. No idea about the rest. I'll find out eventually."

"And now you're back, ready to save humanity if not the galaxy again?"

"So it seems."

"Don't suppose you'd care to give me an interview?"

"Not right now as I can't tell you all that much. Wait until I've dealt with the Collectors, then I'll give you the whole story."

"Just don't die this time."

I heard the emotion in her voice that time, so I put the bottle on the table and wrapped an arm around her as she leaned into me, kissing the top of her head. "Figured me returning would cause some issues."

"You can stay the night if you want, but I'm serious, no sex. I can't deal with that level of emotion. Just seeing you again is almost too much for me right now. I only stopped missing you after a year."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be. You're a soldier, and one thing soldiers tend to do is die. But, to be honest, I don't think anyone expected you to disappear like you did. After everything you survived, the way your ship was destroyed, from all the reports, it just didn't feel right with a lot of people."

"I haven't had much time to think about it due to extenuating circumstances. Haven't really had the chance to even read about it. I could ask Anderson to send me some reports and do a little digging but it's been two years. I wonder what I'd even find after all this time."

"Do you want to head out for dinner?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Now that's a plan."

We finished our drinks and headed downstairs, holding her hand as we strolled along. She knew a little diner not far from her apartment that she visited at least once a week, as it was convenient. The menu was eclectic, a little bit of everything from Earth. I went with the cheeseburger and fries, while she went with the caesar salad. I found the idea of going with a salad humorous, though when she suggested a shake to go with it, I could only shake my head. "I'm treating myself, Shepard," she said, "Salad is good, shake is bad. And you're eating a cheeseburger."

"Yes, but I'll work it all off in the gym tomorrow morning."

The food arrived quite quickly, and I end up scoffing it as usual. It was the habit of a soldier. When you ate, you ate quickly, as no-one wanted to be forced to leave behind a half-eaten meal when an emergency happens. So I ended up watching Emily finish her salad, though she offered me some of her shake at the same time. I wasn't keen for desert, so we headed out after I settled the bill, claiming that Cerberus has already forwarded me a substantial number of credits, and I was going to spend every single one.

Finding a park reminiscent of those back on Earth, we took a seat on a bench by a fountain and relaxed, chatting away about nothing in particular. Since I didn't know much about the last two years, she told me more stories about life on the Citadel, particularly in those first few months after the attack, when the rebuilding was taking place at a furious pace, bits of Sovereign were being moved, the dead were still being found under piles of rubble. Funerals took place very day for months. It had been a tough time for most inhabitants on the Citadel.

With Garrus also absent from the ship, I messaged Miranda, informing her I would be returning to the ship in the morning. No argument this time, a simple reply stating she understood and would await further instructions. I definitely smirked when I read it, earning a curious glance from Emily. "Guess I can be honest. My relationship with the XO hasn't been exactly smooth. Doesn't help she's a loyal Cerberus officer, and she knows I have no time or sympathy for anyone wearing the symbol."

"So what will you do?"

"What's required. Get the job done, then leave. I don't owe anyone there any favours. It was their choice to bring me back."

"You don't like being back?"

"Of course I do! I just mean… If they think I owe them loyalty because of it, they're going to be sadly mistaken."

Heading back to her apartment, she told me that she didn't want a late one as she did have work the next morning. I said heading to bed was fine. I thought for a moment she'd put me on the couch, but she took my hand and led me to the bedroom, so that was a positive. She didn't strip nude, leaving on her underwear, while putting on a shirt that covered most of her body. I left my underwear on at least as we slid under the covers, lying on our sides as we looked at each other. She made the first move rather quickly by kissing me. Then she needed a cuddle as she released a few tears.

"Sorry," I repeated. I had a feeling I might be saying that to a few people.

"No. I'm happy you're back, Shepard," she whispered, "Part of me wants nothing more than to make love right now. But it's too much. I can feel your hands on me now, but I wonder if I'm going to wake up soon and think it was all just a dream."

"I'm real," I whispered in her ear. She lifted her face towards mine, moving a hand so I could clear her cheek with my thumb. "I'm here right now," I added softly, moving her hand, pressing her fingers into my neck, "Feel that? Heartbeat. It's probably pumping slightly faster than usual due to the company." That made her giggle at least. "It's pumping somewhere else too, but we'll ignore that tonight."

"Snuggling with my butt into your crotch won't be a good idea."

"Probably not."

"I'm glad you're back, Shepard."

"So am I, Emily. You were one of the first people I thought about when I woke up and I was told everything that happened. Bit of a shock."

"I bet."

She snuggled into me, feeling her breath on my chest as her head rested under my chin. I felt her relax and get comfortable, and it was a real reminder of old times, when we'd happily cuddle together on the bed or the couch, sometimes after having made love, sometimes just enjoying the company of each other. I think I might have fallen asleep first for once, but it didn't really matter, as I woke up next to her the following morning, feeling her fingers on my face, not just focusing on the scars, but taking in all my features. She kissed me softly before offering breakfast, throwing on the same clothes as the previous day as she showered and dressed at the same time. Breakfast was simple but filling, before she apologised for needing to rush out. I didn't mind, escorting her out of the apartment block to the nearest taxi rank.

We hugged and kissed again before she asked, "When will you back on the Citadel?"

"I'm not sure. I've been warned by both the Council and Alliance to keep my presence here to a minimum. But I'll certainly visit when I can."

She opened her omni-tool, typed for a few seconds, and a message pinged. "I guess they found your old omni-tool at least but that's my new number. Let me know whenever you're back and we'll meet up. Next time you're here, we'll catch up properly."

"It's a date."

A last kiss, and she needed to go, opening the door for the taxi before she waved as I closed the door, the taxi quickly taking off into the sky. I hopped in the next one along, arriving back near the docks only a few minutes later. Boarding the ship, Miranda wasn't waiting around for me this time, though I asked EDI if everyone was present and accounted for. The AI confirmed everyone required was present, including Garrus, Zaeed and Kasumi, so I ordered Joker to take us out and I'd send him a destination shortly.

Heading to my terminal, I checked for any messages. Seeing nothing of particular importance, there was a datapad sitting nearby, which I knew was another recruit. Checking the information, I headed to the galaxy map and inputted the data Joker required. He reported within a couple of minutes the journey time, and we would only be arriving at best the afternoon of the next day. That was fine with me, so he set about departing the Citadel.

Turning back to my terminal, Kelly approached with a mug of coffee. "Thought you'd like one, Shepard."

"I'm starting to think you're a mind reader, Kelly."

"Oh, I'm sure there are certain things I don't know," she replied, heading back to her terminal, "But how did you find the Citadel?"

I headed to where she was standing, leaning against the railing around the galaxy map, sipping on my drink before replying. "Honestly, pretty much a waste of time. Council gave me back my Spectre status, but it means nothing in the grand scheme of things. There was one more than one veiled threat against me because of my association with Cerberus."

That made her fingers stop typing away. "Do they consider us that much of a threat?"

"They called Cerberus an avowed enemy of the Council. They consider what I'm doing treason against the Council. I'm fairly sure the Alliance think the same thing."

"Well, I think that's just ridiculous. We are doing the right thing," she said, beginning to type away. I didn't feel like getting into an argument then and there about what I'd seen before. If we looked primarily at what Cerberus was doing now, she was right. "But at least you're a Spectre. That should open some doors surely."

"It'll be keep the Alliance off my back, at least. The Council said they won't interfere. But I was warned to basically stay away from Council space for the time being. I'll ignore it, of course. I'll fly my ship where I want."

"Have you thought about when the Collectors are defeated?"

"I have."

She stopped typing, now looking up at me. "And?"

"Let's just see how things go, Kelly. Early days yet. All I know is that the Council have proven as worthless as before, I'm not sure what the Alliance want, and Cerberus, despite everything, are the only organisation willing to give me what I need to get the job done."

"Does it not sit easily?"

"To be honest, no it doesn't."

"Maybe we'll change your mind about us the longer you work with us."

"We'll see. As I said, it's early days yet." I sipped on my drink again. "I do enjoy the company of some people here though."

She didn't look up from her terminal but the smile was obvious. "Well, maybe those people could end up changing your mind about everything."

"What I do want tonight is for all of us to get together for a meal in the mess then drinks tonight so we can get to know each other. We'll have to do that each time we recruit so the new team member can feel at ease quickly. I honestly don't know many people here. If we're going to work together, I want to know who you are."

She looked up again, the smile still on her face. "We all know who you are, Commander Shepard."

"Only what you've read. You don't know… me. So, can you send a message to everyone please, with a time for dinner and then letting them know we'll have drinks in the lounge after?"

"Of course, Shepard. Anything else?"

I felt like saying 'How about your company upstairs afterwards?' as the longer I stood there, the more attracted I was, because she was gorgeous. I adore redheads but it was those green eyes every time she looked at me. They simply… dazzled. And she knew I was thinking that, and she was definitely attracted in return, as I know when a woman returns my attraction. "Nothing else right now, Kelly. I'm going to have a chat with our newer recruits and see what they want or need."

Asking EDI where Kasumi had based herself, I dropped down one level and wandered into the lounge to see she had already made herself at home, busy placing things on a bookshelf. Turning around as I wandered in, I was greeted with a friendly, "Hey, Shep."

"Shep?"

"Don't like it?" I shrugged. Better than being called 'Commander' when I wasn't one anymore. "If you're wondering, and your slightly furrowed brow suggests you are, I'm making myself at home in here. I didn't particularly want to bunk with the regular crew. I like my own space."

"Well, people might come and go in here but we'll make sure your sleep pattern isn't disturbed," I said while taking a seat on a chair.

She took a seat opposite me. "So, come to grill the new recruit?"

"I don't need to delve too deep and personal right now. Just want to know what you know. So you know this is an important mission. Heard of the Collectors?"

"No. They don't sound friendly though."

"That they are not. Long story short, they're kidnapping humans from our colonies. For what purpose? We don't know. Where are they? We don't know. Where will they strike next? We don't know. What are we doing now? Building a team, investigating leads, then we'll take the fight to them. Ever worked out in the Terminus Systems?"

"Very rarely."

"There's a relay out there called the Omega Four. Apparently leads to the Collector homeworld. We need to find a way of getting through it."

"I'm guessing that won't be easy?"

"No ship that's gone through has returned."

"Ah, so a possible suicide mission. No wonder Cerberus threw money at me."

"Zaeed said the same thing. Just my luck though. Come back from the dead to be given a suicide mission."

"You don't plan on dying though, do you?"

"I'd rather I didn't again so I'm sure there are ways and means we can avoid it. Ship improvements. Better armour and weapons. A way of making it back in one piece. But that's for later."

"Where are we heading now?"

"Another recruit. Should be interesting considering he's in prison. We're not breaking him out though. Just a transfer into our custody."

"Do you need to know my skills before you take me out onto the field?"

"I'd assume you have a few otherwise you wouldn't be here, Kasumi. I'll take you out and judge for myself."

"That's fair enough. My sneaking will come in handy and I have a tactical cloak as well. Always good when breaking and entering. Other than that, I'm skilled with small to medium weapons, things like pistols and sub-machine guns. And I'm obviously athletic and flexible."

"Good to know. I'll take you along when we get to the prison and see how things develop from there. I used to work with a small team of five, but depending on how many people I end up recruiting, I might end up taking more."

"I'll be ready, one way or the other, Shep."

I left her to settle in further, figuring I may as well have a chat with the other new recruit. We'd already fought alongside together once when collecting Mordin, but hadn't really chatted to him all that much. He'd made himself home at least. No real mementoes of a life lived. He had a simple bunk, a duffel bag with a few clothes, a whole bunch of weapons laying around, and not a lot else. He was sat on little more than a camp stool, reading a datapad.

"Settling in okay, Zaeed?"

"Yeah, much prefer it down here, Shepard. Hopefully a bit quieter than up near the mess. Like my own space."

"Need anything to make it more comfortable?"

He looked up and laugh. "Comfortable? I'm a fuckin' mercenary, Shepard. I've spent more time sleeping in ditches than I care to remember. Trust me, this room is fuckin' luxury compared to what I'm used to."

"What else you done besides mercenary work?" I asked, taking a seat on one of the crates.

"Erstwhile bounty hunter. Spent all my time working around the Terminus Systems. Council and Alliance don't look kindly upon my sort of work. Before all that, I worked for a mercenary outfit."

"Blue Suns?"

"Yeah, that bunch. It's a long story, Shepard, don't feel like discussin' it now. But the Suns and I go way back."

"No problem. I assume the Illusive Man has compensated you well for this?"

"Yep. I survive all this, I'm retiring. And I got that message from your sweetheart upstairs. I'll join in for drinks at least. Might even regale one or two of the young pups with some stories."

"My sweetheart?"

"The one that works alongside you, Kelly. She's a sweetheart. Tried chattin' with me early, all that psycho mumbo jumbo. Still, she's friendly and good to look at so I went with it until I'd had enough."

"Think she might end up doing that with all the recruits."

"Long as she doesn't try it again at drinks, I'll be sweet."

"Okay. Just wanted to check you were settled in alright. As you are, I'll see you at dinner."

Having actually not been down to the lower levels, I popped into engineering to discover a pair of engineers, introducing themselves as Gabriella, or Gabby for short, and Kenneth, or Ken for short. I immediately apologised for not being down earlier, which they waved away, noting I'd been rather busy since coming on board. Both were ex-Alliance. Like Joker and Chakwas, they simply signed up to help, though from what Gabby said, Ken may have burned some bridges upon leaving. But they seemed happy to help and enthusiastic about the mission at least. They would also be coming upstairs that night to join in.

Checking my watch, there was at least a little time to kill so I headed up to my cabin to do some more work. Mostly reading messages and planning future missions, as I had a number of requests come through, no doubt forwarded by the Illusive Man to show he was a 'man of the people' and suggest he gave a shit about anyone other than himself. Nonetheless, I marked them down as either priority or not, as recruitment and anything to do with the Collectors would immediately be urgent.

Carried away with work, I didn't notice the time until there was a ding. I looked around, wondering what it was. "The hell was that?" I wondered.

EDI appeared nearby. "Your cabin has a doorbell, Shepard. It will only open automatically for yourself. All other staff must press the button next to the doorframe."

"There's a doorbell?"

"Yes, Shepard. Kelly Chambers is waiting for you."

"Thanks." Pressing the button to open the door, it revealed Kelly holding a pair of mugs, definitely holding coffee.

"You've been gone a few hours so I thought…"

"Life saver, Kelly! Thanks!" I said as she passed the mug to me. "Come on in, have a look around."

I let her walk past, her eyes definitely taking in the features, particularly the fishtank, which now had a few swimming in it, and she had to mention the fact the cabin was enormous, which I knew it was. Two to three times the size of my old quarters. I followed her down as she eventually took a seat on one of the lounges, and I chose to sit down next to her.

Placing her mug down, I did the same and she wasted no time at all leaning forward to kiss me. She's forward in more ways than one! And damn, she was a good kisser, pressing her body into mine as my hands definitely wanted to do other things than just hold her. Her hands were on my back, definitely appreciating some of the definition that would have showed through my tight shirt.

Breaking apart, I said, "Well, I think you've made your intentions clear."

"I said I've been single for too long, Shepard."

"We do have to go down…"

"I only came up for a coffee and a kiss. I enjoyed our first one and wanted another one."

I simply smiled as I picked up my cup and looked at her. And that's when it hit me. The similarities. She didn't look the same. Nothing like it. But it was the similarities. It must have shown on my face as she leaned forward. "It's okay," she said quietly.

"I've just realised. I guess it's been buried in my head somewhere."

"I'm a natural redhead, Shepard, so it's not an act. Eyes are green too." She took a sip and she was thoughtful. "I'm not… too much of a reminder, am I?"

"No. It just hit me. I haven't thought of her much since waking up, to be honest. It's almost like that was another life. I pretty much died. In many ways, I'm John Shepard, version two. I just have all the old memories and I act like I always have."

"Did you catch up with any old friends on the Citadel except those you were planning on seeing?"

"I spent the night with Emily. No, we didn't have sex."

"I wasn't going to ask, Shepard. What you do in your private time…"

"But you still want to be with me?"

"Of course. It's just sex, Shepard. I like you. You like me. There's an obvious attraction. No need to overthink it."

"I don't get criticised of that often. So you're not going to be jealous if…"

"Shepard, as I said, I've read your file. I know all I need to know about you. Some would say you are hesitant of commitment. Others would be rather rude and call you a manwhore or something like that. Others would call you a stud. I simply say you enjoy your life, and express that enjoyment by experiencing numerous sexual partners. I'm aware you have different desires. You've been with human, asari and quarian. Regarding humans, you seem to like different races. So I'm not going to sit here and judge you when I know all about that. Others, maybe, if not probably, but me? No. Sex is something to be enjoyed. Many like it with one person. Others like to experience with many people."

"I generally do it with people I like. Well… um…"

"The way you defended your 'friend' when Miranda called her a whore would suggest you liked her too, Shepard. So even with those partners, I think that although a transaction, you have to have some sort of attraction, even if it's only physical."

"No judgement on that either?"

She scoffed. "Please, you were an Alliance soldier, Shepard. They're known for descending on towns and sleeping around while on leave. What you do is no different to the thousands of other men and women in uniform."

We'd finished our coffees by now. Checking my watch again, it was time to head downstairs for dinner. Taking her by the hand, we were passing the fish tank when I turned and pulled her towards me, leaning down to kiss her again. This time, I put everything I could into it, eventually pushing her back so she was against the glass of the tank, and when I heard her whimper, I knew I could have suggested staying in the cabin and she would have agreed. By the time we broke apart, we were both breathing heavily, and her cheeks were bright red, her lips parted in such a way that suggested nothing but lust and desire, her green eyes shining in the light.

"We'd better go downstairs," she whispered, stepping towards me again.

I leaned down and kissed her, my hands running down her back towards her arse. She leapt up and wrapped her legs around me and I carried her to my desk, sweeping things onto the floor so I could sit her down. I moved my lips from hers, down her cheek to her neck, making her gasp when I gently used my teeth. "We should stop," she breathed.

"Sure?" I asked.

"I'm going to hate myself for this, but yes."

So I stopped immediately, removing my mouth from her neck as I leaned back to meet her eyes. She definitely didn't want to stop, not with the look that she was returning, so I simply caressed her cheeks, watching her eyes closed as I kissed softly on the lips again. "Okay, we'll go downstairs in a minute."

"I'm going to need that minute to calm down, Shepard."

"Me too. Trust me."

"Can I admit something?"

"Sure."

"Ever since I read everything about you, I've been nursing… well, a little crush on you, to be honest. I mean, most of your life story reads like fiction. The boy from the streets who became a war hero, then the galaxy's saviour. A lot of people would swagger around with nothing but arrogance."

I shrugged. "Just do what I need to do, as I always say."

"I'm glad the man I met is the one I read about."

Grabbing her hand, she leapt down from her desk, straightened out her clothes, and we walked into the mess together. No-one said anything though Garrus definitely gave me a questioning look. I returned a subtle shake of the head, though he still laughed, as he would have guessed we'd been up to something. I couldn't get much past the turian about my personal life, it seemed.

Dinner was simple but enjoyable, Gardner admitting the ingredients he had were far better than what he had originally, though we shouldn't go expecting anything too fancy. However, he had picked up some fresh goods on the Citadel, and a few other pieces which might him allow to mix it up a bit, particularly when it came to breakfast. When he mentioned a full English, I told him he was a man after my own heart. "Keep it for a Sunday morning," I added, "A treat for everyone after a hard week."

After dinner, we headed into the lounge, where I spent a lot of the time chatting to those I simply hadn't had a chance to speak to yet, learning simple things like their name, age, where they were from, the small things that actually mean something. Many seemed surprised I even seemed to care, but I told them all that, on the old Normandy, I had learned the name of every single person on the crew, could name their partners, their children if they had any, their hometown, what they studied. Sure, things you could read on a jacket, but you learned about them as a person when they explained things, particularly their passion for the role.

It was a good night. Everyone behaved by only enjoying one or two drinks. There was plenty of laughter and, for a couple of hours, it was easy to forget I was on a Cerberus vessel, and the people around me all chose to work for the organisation. But many were new recruits, joining because of the Collectors, not because they are human supremacists or anti-alien. Perhaps many were like that, joining for a particular cause and not because they were arseholes at heart.

Things slowly wounded down as people had to rise early for the morning shift. Eventually, only Garrus, Kelly, Kasumi and I were left in the lounge. "No sign of Miranda then," Garrus stated.

"Told me she wasn't going to come. Far too busy, apparently," I replied, before looking at Kelly, "Don't suppose you can give us any insight?"

"I'd rather not, to be honest."

"Guess not everyone can be sociable, Shep."

"If the CO of the vessel can spend time with the crew, the XO should be making an attempt as well. She barely came out for ten minutes during dinner." I sighed. "I might have a word with her in the morning."

"Careful, Shepard, lest you find your balls in her purse afterwards," Garrus joked.

That was for later. After finishing our last drink, Garrus headed off to bed while Kasumi suggested she was going to get some shut eye as well. Kelly and I walked towards the elevator together. Stopping in front of it, she could have kept walking to the crew quarters. "Want a night cap?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied immediately.

It was all a ruse, of course, and she knew. As soon as we were in my cabin and I'd locked the door, we were all over each other. Clothing and shoes were removed as quick as possible as we kissed, and by the time I had most of her clothes off, I definitely liked what I saw. And she definitely liked me, her hands all over my body before she got my jeans off, her hands immediately going down the front of my underwear. Damn, she's not wasting any time.

She certainly wasn't, as even I had to admit surprise when she immediately dropped to her knees. Usually when I was blown, I was either lying down, or she'd at least sit on the bed. Nope, Kelly Chambers definitely enjoyed being on her knees as she practically made love to my cock with her mouth. Whoever had shown her how to blow a man, or if it was just a god given talent, I'd have to thank them. And her eyes when looking up at mine sparkled with a mixture of mischief and lust.

Running a hand through her hair, I could only gasp and groan. Trying to form words was almost impossible, doing things with her tongue along my shaft that sent shivers from my toes all the way up my spine. I'd managed to calm down after our make-out session earlier, but the talent she was showing, the almost need to make me orgasm, meant I wasn't going to last long.

"Kelly," I finally managed to whisper. I looked down and added, "Not long."

She didn't stop for a moment. In fact, when I felt her nose bump into my groin, she made a noise that suggested excitement, watching as my cock reappeared for a moment. "Well, glad I can do that now," she said, "Oh, and just cum when you need to."

"Kelly, I am glad to have you on the Normandy!"

She swallowed my length again, and she only had to wait a couple of minutes before I was ready to pop. I was polite enough to give her warning but the first shot only hit the back of her throat. I groaned so loud, I'm sure they heard me throughout the ship, much to my amusement, before looking down to see Kelly's head still bobbing up and down, amazed that my cock was barely softening at all, but she did eventually stop as it was obvious I needed time to recover.

I lifted her up from her knees and practically threw her onto the bed, hearing her squeal with laughter as I joined her, immediately removing her panties, which stuck to her due to how wet she was, before I parted her legs and simply dove in. She was as turned on as I was. Within a few minutes, she was making the sort of noises that suggested her own orgasm was fast approaching. I didn't want her to cum too quickly, so backed off, which made her look down, slightly frustrated.

"Good things come to those who wait, Kelly. I want to enjoy this a little longer."

"I can cum more than once, Shepard."

"I know, but if you wait, it'll still be better."

She groaned with frustration but the smile suggested she liked the idea. Dipping my tongue again, I also introduced a finger to find her spot, and she was soon bucking against my hand, my tongue flicking her clit, and I knew she was enjoying herself immensely, glancing up to see her head rolled back, grabbing handfuls of bedsheet, moaning unintelligibly at times, or my name, which is always rather erotic to hear.

When she finally did orgasm, it was quite the experience. She squeezed my fingers almost like a vice as her back arched at quite the angle. I didn't relent with my mouth though I could barely move my fingers due to how tight she squeezed. It must have ripped through her entire body as she relaxed back on the bed, seemingly in a daze, eventually lifting her head. "Shepard…"

"Stop?" She nodded, so I pulled my fingers out and simply left gentle kisses up her body before I relaxed net to her.

"Oh my god," she breathed.

Sometimes I'd be arrogant after doing it, but I just watched her as she breathed in and out, running a hand gently up and down her body. It was exquisite. Rather pale, but it was obvious she looked after herself, a pair of very perky breasts, great legs, and she was definitely a natural redhead with the bright red tuft above her sex. When she finally looked my way, her hand went behind my head as she dragged me down for a kiss. "You've worn me out, Shepard."

"That's fine. I think we've both had a good time tonight."

"Oh, we're not done yet. I just need a few more minutes."

"Take all the time you want. Need a drink or anything?"

"No, I'm fine for now."

We laid there together for a little while, though once she was ready, I was rolled onto my back as she straddled my groin, leaning down to kiss me, rubbing her pussy against my shaft at the same time. "I have thought about this," she whispered before kissing me again, lifting herself up and blindly reaching down to grab my cock. She had to break the kiss and gasp as I felt it slowly slide inside her. "Oh god," she cried quietly.

"Good?"

"Fuck… yes," she breathed as I looked down to see my length disappear inside her.

The easiest way to describe what happened next is that Kelly Chambers fucked herself silly on my cock. I barely had to move, Kelly doing all the work. It was mostly cowgirl, on her knees, but she'd lean forward, then she'd lean back, she'd sometimes grind, and sometimes bounce. Then she moved so her feet were flat on the bed and she really started to ride me, holding my hands for balance. That's when she really started to cry out and came rather hard, needing to get back on her knees once she was done, but she wasn't done with me yet, as she slid off and spun around, wiggling her arse in my direction.

So that's how Kelly Chambers found herself with her arse up, head down on a pillow, being fucked hard by former Commander Shepard. I was never going to last long in this position, one hand at her hip, the other with a handful of hair, the only noises being of my skin slapping into hers, my grunts and her moans.

"Fuck yes," I muttered.

She had no problem telling me what she liked and how much she liked it. How big my cock was inside her. How good it felt. To fuck her pussy. To ruin her pussy. She made suggestions like leaving a load on her face next time, fucking her arse, tying her up. Woman after my own heart, to be honest.

When I did finally cum, I buried myself deep enough when I did make her yelp, and I nearly squashed her as she fell down onto her stomach and I followed her, using a forearm to hold myself up though I was barely with it otherwise. Only when I felt her lean back and kiss my cheek did I lift my head to look at her. Her face was wet from sweat, red cheeks, hair plastered to her forehead.

"Haven't been fucked like that in a long time, Shepard."

"Now you've ruined me, Kelly."

"Shower?"

I chuckled. "Now I know why you stayed. My shower."

We headed into the bathroom, where there was no more sex but plenty more kissing and cuddling as we washed each other down. With her hair slicked back and the steam rising, she was absolutely gorgeous. And I think she definitely liked me in return, barely able to keep her hands away. After we dried off, she was only ever going to be staying the night, and once we were under the covers, I was on my back as she cuddled into my side, my left wrapped around her, feeling her fingers run up and down my chest.

"Well, I think it was about time we did that," she said.

I chuckled again. "Well, we managed to resist at least a couple of days."

"Oh, and when did you want to?"

"Pretty much right after the first time we met, Kelly. Instant attraction, but I wanted to know you at least a little better before bedding you."

"And now?"

"Well, I hope you'll be a regular visitor."

"But not the only one?"

"Being honest, no, probably not."

"I can deal with that." I must have looked at her surprised. "Read your file, Shepard, know what you like, and know what to expect. Can I ask only one favour?" I nodded. "Don't flaunt it in front of me."

"I don't. What happens in private stays there. That includes between us."

"Thanks." Switching off the lights, I felt her get comfortable, definitely enjoying the feeling of her body against mine. So soft and surprisingly warm, though I figured it was the shower. She must have been rather relaxed, as she was asleep within a couple of minutes. I lay awake a little longer, staying out the window that was above the bed, twinkling stars in the distance, wondering what life was going to bring me next.