Chapter 8

[TW: Sexual assault? Not exactly but something that sort of resembles it? I don't know how to tag.]

Suddenly the pressure from before returned, but it was so much worse as it came from all four of the high commanders sitting at the table.

"..."

My eyes didn't widen with fear.

I didn't gasp from shock.

Faced with this intense pressure I didn't react at all.

Because I couldn't.

The pressure from Commander Laqbeka had been so bad that it felt like I couldn't breathe, but now I literally couldn't. Not a single muscle moved, my heart was struggling to beat, in the corners of my vision I noticed cracks along the walls as even the walls of the academy struggled to contain the fury of four paladin high commanders.

By vision started to darken.

"Careful, you four are about to kill her."

The pressure was reduced to a little less than what marshal Laqbeka had exerted. I collapsed off the stool, gasping for breath as my mind raced with fear and panic. I looked up at them with beads of cold sweat running down my face and back.

High Commander Karr scowled down at me. He hadn't asked much during the interview, but now it seemed like any positive opinion he had of me was destroyed.

High Commander Vyqal seemed almost conflicted, her brow furrowed as she clenched her fist. Still, that did nothing to alleviate the pressure I could feel radiating off of her.

High Commander Lyqsu's face was as perfectly calm as before. Her aura was every bit as cold and detached at the commander's had been before.

High Commander Qoak's face was scrunched up in disgusted resignation.

And Commander Laqbeka just sat there, a pleasant smile on his face as if he hadn't been the one to put me in this situation.

"You were really going to allow this girl to become a paladin Laqbeka?" High Commander Qoak scoffed. "Perhaps that promotion is a bit too early for you."

"We are discussing her qualifications now," he replied calmly.

"True, but something this important would typically be included in her background file," High Commander Lyqsu said.

"This event only happened a few days ago, there wasn't time."

"Still…"

"It doesn't matter," High Commander Karr said firmly. "We are here to judge her, and we will do exactly that."

Commander Laqbeka smiled. "Exactly." The five of them finally turned their attention back to me. "Well, Xara? Care to explain?"

With trembling legs, I managed to sit back on the stool. I was too shaken to sit up straight, and now supported myself with my hands on my knees.

"I…I never meant to say that I think the empire is wrong for punishing mages, sir. I just…Like I said to my friend, would it not be possible to reeducate them? Why execute them? I just-"

"This stupid girl…" High Commander Qoak grumbled while resting his face in his hands.

"Have you not learned of the corruption brought about by magical knowledge?" High Commander Lyqsu asked, sounding genuinely confused. "Surely as a Qa'fiman yourself you would know about what gave rise to your kind."

"I do," I said, fingers running along my scales, "but the corruption of the body is practically just cosmetic, and my instructors also told us that our training with aura was a process that purified and refined the soul."

High Commander Vyqal shook her head. "The Temples have tried in the past. It's not enough to undo the damage caused by those forbidden teachings. If not then a paladin as talented as yourself would have shed your scales and horns by now."

"And as your friend told you, these people choose to learn magic despite knowing of the cost," Commander Laqbeka reminded me. "Even without the corruption they lack the discipline to undo the damage to their souls."

"B-but that mage that was executed last week willingly walked into the ichor," I said, stuttering as strange desperation filled me. "How could someone like that not have discipline?"

High Commander Lyqsu shook her head. "That man would have died no matter what. In such a situation there are certainly some who would desperately cling to life and resist, but some will resign themselves to their fate. It's not enough."

"But…but…"

High Commander Vyqal smiled at me. It was not a happy smile, but the smile of a disappointed parent who knows their child can do better. "I know, you want to hope that these people can be saved, and that hope is something good. I quite liked the answers you gave to Qoak's and Laqbeka's questions. But this is different."

"Mages are not innocent. Magic is an unnatural power, one that distorts the natural world. It is something they seek out and learn. No one is simply born wielding it and once the corruption sets in it is near impossible to root out." High Commander Karr explained. "This is why mages are executed by being submerged in ichor. For others it is a reward, welcoming them into the embrace of the gods, but for mages, the divine essence in it can burn away corruption in ways that mere training never could. It is the only way to save their souls and prevent them from being lost to the abyss. It is a mercy."

I clenched my fists as I listened to the high commanders speak. Much of what they said was not new to me, but I could not help but have questions. They said that magic was unnatural, but were elves not naturally gifted in magic? Was that natural or an effect of even deeper corruption? If they are some kind of race of evil demons then why do we have peace treaties with them? Was that man truly just resigned to his fate?

I could not shake my doubts.

The high commanders watched on as I wrestled with the situation in my head. Eventually, High Commander Karr spoke up.

"Ordinarily, this amount of hesitation and questioning would disqualify you from the paladin orders." He raised his hands as my eyes widened in fear. "However, you are an incredibly talented warrior, and while your hopes are misguided I would hate to see such potential wasted."

"So then-?!" I stopped speaking as the pressure from his aura increased again.

"If you can swear to us, on everything that you hold dear, that you will disregard the doubts that you have told us today, then you will be placed into special disciplinary training." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table that looked ready to shatter from the pressure he was exerting. "If you cannot do this, then your aura will be stripped and you will be barred from joining the Temples."

…

'What?'

"S-stripped? I-you-wh-what?" I asked weakly. I have never heard of such a phrase, but the weight with which he said it sent a shiver down my spine.

"The process will weaken you back to the level of an ordinary human," Commander Laqbeka explained. "In addition, the damage the process does will render you incapable of any future strengthing as well."

My shoulders dropped as he finished speaking, a feeling of emptiness filled my chest and stomach. "Wh-but why?" I asked, my voice cracking. "I've never heard of such a punishment. Many of those who are rejected from being paladins still serve as soldiers."

"It is a tragic punishment," High Commander Vyqal explained. "One not used very often. For most paladin applicants their rejection is due to them lacking the strength or skill necessary to carry out their duties."

"But in cases like yours," High Commander Qoak continued. "Where the issue is their character, their strength is a potential risk to the empire, and must be…dealt with before it can fester."

"And so the decision is up to you," Commander Laqbeka said as he stood up. He began walking over to me. "Will you swear to put aside your doubts, and to subject yourself to the discipline of the Temple of Z'kyd'qa?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"I'll give you five seconds."

My eyes widened as Commander Laqbeka walked closer.

"Five."

'I…I can't just throw it all away, can I?'

"Four."

Laqbeka put his hand on my back, I could sense a buildup of aura in his palm.

"Three."

I gasped as his aura slowly reached into me. There was no pain, but his aura felt icy as it worked its way through my body.

"Two."

His aura wrapped around various points like vines choking out a tree. It felt like he was pulling on my very soul. 

"On-"

"I swear!" I said hastily. The flow of the commander's aura stopped. "I…I swear, on my family, on the gods, and on the empire to be faithful."

~~~

"What in the abyss is going on in there…" I mumbled as I felt the pressure coming from the interview room. Xara had gone in almost fifteen minutes ago and still hadn't come back. I didn't think much of it, but then those waves of aura came and I started to get concerned. I nearly fell out of my chair as I felt an even greater pressure a moment ago, but now the aura seemed to dissipate.

'Did they give her a harsher test because she was the top student?' I wondered while fiddling with the edge of my cloak. 'Whatever. She can handle it, right?'

"Kiuyk Zivem?" The supervising instructor called out. "You can head in now."

I took a deep breath and stood up. I felt the eyes of several other students on me. They all knew that I was Xara's friend, and were probably wondering if something similar might happen to me.

As I turned the corner and walked down the hallway I saw Xara leaving the room and ran up to her.

"Xara!"

She flinched at the sound of my voice, and when she locked eyes with me I knew something was wrong. It's like that day after the execution, that uncertainty in her eyes. Only this time it was much worse. Before the interview, she was nervous, but still had that infuriating confidence and trust she had in her training. Now? Her shoulders were slack, her face was a little pale, and she almost seemed to shrink in on herself when she looked me in the eyes.

"Hey, they're, uh, they're waiting for you." She tried to smile, but it was forced.

"Are…are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

I frowned. "Xara-"

She put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm fine. We can talk later." She paused. "Tomorrow…we'll talk tomorrow." She then took a deep breath and walked past me.

I watched her walk away before turning to the door she came out of.

'What the hell happened in there…'