Chapter 40

On her last night at the hospital, Taria woke up to knocking sounds on her door. She was finally able to move normally, so she walked towards the door and opened it.

Mia was standing in front of her, with a cold face that Taria never saw before. Taria hugged her tightly trying to get back her smiley face, however, Mia didn't even hug Taria back, and her cold face got colder and sharper, giving Taria a feeling that she would get hurt soon

"What's wrong?" Taria whispered as Tian was still asleep, or to be exact, acting asleep

"I need to talk to you", Mia said coldly

Taria wore her scarf as it was chilly outside, then she went with Mia to the rooftop of the hospital, unable to stop herself from having dark thoughts with every step she forced herself to make.

When they finally reached the rooftop, Mia was in front of Taria, but she was giving her her back. She turned to face her after a while, then she said "I will go to Canada, and I came to say goodbye"

Taria realized, from the broken look in her friend's eyes, that Mia wasn't willing to come back, yet she preferred to not believe that, so she said "that's good, when are you going to come back?"

Mia's hair was moving with the wind, and shining under the lights above them. She smiled, but her smile didn't erase Taria's worries, yet rather made them bigger as that smile was mixed with tears

"Taria, I won't come back soon. My life was peaceful till now, so peaceful to the point I don't know anything about it. I don't know anything about me, my limits, my different sides, and my fears. I want to face difficulties to see who I really am. A good sailor can't be known by sailing in stagnant water, they say. You have always known yourself well, your strengths and weaknesses, your fears and worries, I just want to know who I really am, just like you", Mia said

Taria could hear a crashing sound coming out of her chest as her heart was getting broken. She had a horrible week. Getting shot, suffering from pain, and even her dad's death were things she wanted to tell Mia about as one of the two people she could lean on, but she wasn't there. She didn't answer her calls nor her messages, and now she knows the reason for that.

Taria couldn't stand properly any more, and she started swaying with the wind as her hair did, while the memories she had with Mia started running in her mind

Five years ago

Taria was playing at the park after a strange man took her in. She was still a child, but she faced many things that even old men can't handle, yet she kept her lively soul and bright smile.

The old man called her after he came back from his work, and she ran towards him happily. She saw a girl her age hiding behind him, and she became super excited to make her a friend.

"Hello, my name is Taria"

"Hi, I'm Mia"

Were the first words Taria and Mia said to each other, which was followed with uncountable memories. Happy, crazy, and even sad moments made their friendship deeper and stronger, but Taria never imagined that all this would come to an end

Mia walked past Taria as her memories did, then she left, leaving Taria alone.

She wished Mia would come back and tell her she was just kidding, she wished she could run and stop her from leaving, but a deep part of her heart was already able to understand Mia. "She made her decision, you can't do anything now", Taria thought. However, should it be this cold? A huge and some last words would have been better than leaving this coldly.

Taria stayed at the rooftop, fighting the coldness from outside and inside. She didn't shed any tears, not because she wasn't sad, but because she sensed this moment would come way before it did.

"Is she gone now?" Tian said

"I think so", Taria said, then she hugged him slowly, burying herself in his chest as the only place left for her to lean on

"You can cry if you want", Tian said, patting her head gently

"I don't want to cry, I just want to stay like that", Taria said, then she tilted her head down more than it was and said "Mia was always the one I leaned on, but she never leaned on me, not even once. I always envied her for her perfect life, loving parents, good marks, pretty face, I was never able to imagine that all these were hurting her. Why is no one satisfied with his life? Is that what life means in the first place?"

"My father once said.. if you are satisfied with your life, then you are dead. I wasn't able to understand what that meant back then, but I do now. Being satisfied will stop you from moving on, which will lead to your death even if you kept on being alive. We all have good and bad things in our lives, the bad things force us to move, and the good things give us the power to move", Tian said

Taria smiled softly as she felt Tian's words were exactly the thing she wanted to hear.

"If she wants to move on, then I should only pray for her to find what she is looking for", she thought, then she looked at Tian's concerned eyes, putting her hands on the back of his neck, and getting closer and closer to him.

"I think I just fell in love with you again", Taria said, then she kissed his lips, leaving him to freeze as if it was their first kiss.

"This is the third time already. Am I this lovable?" Tian said, poking her nose with his own

"Wrong, I fell in love with you much more than three times", she said while smiling, then he kissed her again, and carried her to the room.

When they reached the room, a flower bouquet was on the bed, filling the room with a refreshing smell. Taria held the bouquet slowly, and a small letter fell down on her lap.

"I didn't hug you because I wouldn't have been able to leave if I did, but that doesn't mean I hate you now. I will miss you more than anyone else, stay safe and live happily. Wish me luck, I love you, bestie", the letter said, forcing the tears Taria was holding back to fall down

"Sniff, I shouldn't cry, I should only wish her luck", Taria said, then she wiped her tears and clasped her hands, wishing Mia the best luck in her journey to find herself. After crying like a baby, Taria hugged Tian and slept, feeling the warmth of his body and hearing his heartbeats that she got used to

Tian was astonished by how strong she was to lose her one and only friend and move on this fast, not because she was feeling less, yet rather that she was full of well controlled feelings, which made him finally understand what his mother meant when she said "feelings are the most powerful weakness a person can have"