The Return of Albert

"Luka! Not again!" Sonya exclaimed as Luka lay flat on his back, leveled by a blow from her club.

"I'm sorry, Sonya!" Luka responded. "I just can't seem to reconcile what I know about fighting with my new muscle memory! Its like I'm relearning everything I knew!"

"You didn't know anything!" Sonya retorted. "You just thought you did. Heck, I thought you did. But it turns out that the swordsmanship you learned here in Iliasville wasn't worth a whole lot. But inhabiting the body of someone who could fight well had its advantages. You've seen how it's done, you've felt yourself doing it, you just weren't consciously thinking about it because the other Luka was the one doing it. Look, maybe the thinking part is key. As in, maybe you're overthinking, trying to mimic what he did. How about you pretend you're stuck back in his body and just feel."

"Just…. Feel?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, just feel it. In a fight, you don't do much thinking. Everything should be automatic. Thinking only comes at key moments when doing something unexpected or changing tactics can be the key to victory. Most of the time you're just doing what you were trained to do and reacting to what the enemy does. Now summon Gnome again so that I don't have to hold back when I hit you."

"Do you like hitting me so hard?"

"Maybe I do," Sonya replied. "But most importantly, the spirits staying with you enables me to go all out, which simulates a real battle better than sparring does. Now pick up that sword and try again. And you go all out too! That sword is dull and even If you hurt me I know how to heal. Don't hold back! The world might need you again soon!"

Summoning Gnome, Luka sprang up and charged at Sonya.

"Oh my goddess," Eden whispered, tenderly licking Elias' shaft all over.

"Elias the Hero," Elias corrected. "This is a role play, remember?"

"Oh, Elias," Eden corrected herself. "Your heroism has earned the ultimate reward. I never tire, I never get bored. I can lick you like this for ten thousand years."

She'd already been at it for over an hour. Elias wasn't complaining. It was the reason Ilias had used Eden to reward her greatest heroes. It really was the ultimate reward, next to being pleasured by the goddess herself, but Ilias had never been the patient type. Her rewards tended to last about five minutes, tops, although none of the legendary heroes she had so rewarded had ever complained. What the goddess had lacked in technique or concern for how the hero she was rewarding was feeling, her godly magic more than made up. In those five minutes, most men ejaculated multiple times, some had even ascended to heaven. Where Ilias had promptly sent them on their way to the afterlife, or in some cases reincarnated them if she had further use for them. But Eden, she was slow and thorough, and constantly seeking to make the man she was rewarding feel even better. Despite the fact that she couldn't feel pleasure herself, she was an expert at reading a man's reactions and adjusting. Eden regarded sex as a deep expression of love, even if she had just met the hero she was giving that love to. Sometimes the lovemaking would last days. The hero would fall asleep and Eden would tenderly hold him to her breast as he slept, then resume the pleasuring when he woke, until the Seraph felt that his reward had been given proportional to his great deeds.

Ilias marveled at how good even this felt. Eden was only licking, slowly and deliberately, as if she was carefully cleaning Elias' penis. Ilias reached out with her senses to check on Luka, since Eden could not monitor Luka while she was…. Busy. Ilias sighed in relief, finding that Luka and Alice had made it out of the cave safely and were journeying back to Iliasport. There had been no major encounters on that journey back in the true history. Luka was probably safe. Still, she kept her senses attuned, in case Luka should cry out. She didn't need to pretend with Eden. Eden knew who she was pleasuring already.

"I can't believe how good this feels!" Elias exclaimed. "Your magic is so…. So sensual!"

The sensations weren't as powerful as those she'd felt with even weak monsters, yet on a level she couldn't quite comprehend they were more satisfying. It didn't just feel good. It made her feel loved and accepted, worshipped even. Eden wasn't doing this so that she could eat. She was doing it because she loved Ilias and wanted her to feel that love in a way she never had before.

Another hour of that wonderful licking passed before Ilias' natural impatience kicked in. "As wonderful as that is, if I let you, you'll keep doing that until Luka boards that ship tomorrow, and we need to be alert when that happens."

"Of course, my god- I mean, Hero Elias," Eden said, and wrapped her lips around Elias' dick, sucking slowly and lightly, her tongue running just under the head.

Elias threw his head back at the enhanced sensations, but he did not ejaculate. Elias wasn't even sure that Eden COULD make him ejaculate with such slow, soft movements. Ilias had designed this body to be a stallion, to endure stupendous amounts of stimulation without going over the edge.

Eden frowned a little. Most men would have already exploded all over her face several times just from the licking, and she regarded finally taking it into her mouth to be a finisher. But Eden was up to the challenge. While Eden disdained speed, she had no problem with being firmer, as she tightened her lips and began bobbing up and down, at first taking in a few inches of Elias' enormous cock, gradually going deeper every few minutes. She had no gag reflex, and she was large. She had chosen a large form both for combat and for sex. Some heroes were…. Well endowed and little angels just wouldn't be able to handle them. Eden could handle any man, even one of Elias' size, as she would prove. But not yet. Eden had time. Not as much time as she would have liked(her goddess deserved at least a year of continuous pleasuring), but enough.

Another hour passed. As the blowjob entered its third hour, Eden was slowly bobbing up and down Elias' entire length, burying her face in his crotch at the end of each long, slow, stroke. And then, unexpectedly for both, Elias exploded with Eden's lips pressed against his crotch. Unlike Anastasia, Eden had no issues handling the massive amount of semen.

From Elias' perspective, it was the best orgasm he'd ever had, either as a man or a woman. He'd never had someone do that to him for so long and his lust had built up a tremendous amount, demanding release. And then to release with his entire length inside Eden, and for her to accept it willingly and skillfully….. ah, Ilias hadn't appreciated Eden nearly enough!

Elias collapsed, not from critical ecstasy, as Ilias had created the body to be immune to critical ecstasy, but from sheer satisfaction. He lay there panting as Eden slowly withdrew his long penis from her mouth.

"As much as you liked that, your reward has not yet been sufficient," Eden purred, crawling over Elias' prone body. "A Seraph's mouth is no different from a human woman's mouth. It is only my magic, experience, and patience which makes my blowjob special. But my pussy is truly divine. Inside you will find the ultimate pleasure, one that only the goddess herself can exceed. Such is the reward for heroes who please the goddess as you have."

"Yes! Please!" Elias panted. "I can't wait to find out what your pussy feels like!"

"And you shall," Eden said, locking lips with Elias and kissing him long and passionately. Her breath was its own aphrodisiac, making Elias' already impressive rod even larger and stiffer. When Eden finally broke the kiss, she moved back down to inspect it.

"Why, I think it might almost be a foot and a half, now!" the Seraph said proudly. "Before I put this monster inside me, I think I shall pleasure you with my breasts."

And so Eden did, placing the absurdly large member in between them. She hadn't intended to do more oral, but due to Elias' sheer size, the head of his penis kept on hitting her chin as she moved up and down. So she occasionally added her tongue or lips to the mix to surprise Elias.

Elias had never felt his penis between breasts before, and was sure he never would again unless they were Eden's. Eden's breasts were among the largest in the universe, at least the largest one could find on a normal looking being. There were some monsters and angels with even larger breasts(and sometimes a lot more than two), but it wasn't the same kind of experience. Ilias had always sent Eden and more "normal" looking angels to reward her heroes because they preferred the human female form. And none were finer than Eden's. Her breasts were enormous yet perky, easily supported by Eden's massive strength. And they were soft, heavenly, in fact. Had he the time, Elias wouldn't have minded spending a month or two between those breasts. Elias gasped as he felt a tongue on the head of his penis. It was quickly withdrawn, making him even more aroused.

Eden may not have spent a month giving Elias a breast job, but as always, she took her time and never seemed to get bored of doing it. Eden, Ilias thought. You are a saint. Another hour passed as Eden continued pleasuring Elias with her breasts, and occasionally her lips, tongue, face, and even hair. Even Eden's hair was so soft. Elias decided there was no part of Eden's body that wouldn't feel amazing. Elias planned to test that theory often.

He never came between those breasts, but making him ejaculate had not been Eden's intent. Eden was nothing if not expert at adjusting her techniques to the man she was pleasuring and his preferences. If a man was a premature ejaculator, she would simply make him come dozens of times, patiently holding him and waiting for him to wake up every time he passed out. For men who could last a long time, she would delay their satisfaction for hours. Unless of course they begged her to let them come, in which case she would finish them, before starting all over again. If a man was being punished, however, she would delay his ejaculation for days, even weeks, edging him mercilessly until he became delirious from lack of sleep and overstimulation. Such was the fate of disgraced heroes.

Finally, Eden rose over Elias and placed his penis, which had "shrunk" to its more reasonable normal size of fourteen inches, at the entrance to her figurative Garden of Pleasures. She had a real Garden of Pleasures, but that was reserved for special cases and one did not enter that Garden unless one could stay for a month or three. Perhaps after Luka and Alice finished their adventure. Then Eden could truly spend quality time with her goddess.

As keyed up as Elias was, even contact with Eden's entrance was almost enough to send even him over the edge. Eden gently rubbed her protruding labia against the head of his penis, which had the effect of both arousing him even more, making him feel even closer to the edge, and yet causing him to pull back somewhat. Truly Eden was an expert. Ilias realized she might have been too good to her heroes. No one was good enough to deserve this! Especially not Ilias herself! That thought caused her to pull back a little more. She briefly considered reducing her awareness to that of a human so that she could put the thought out of her mind. But no, she had to watch Luka. Eden could not fill in for her at the moment.

When Eden was satisfied that Elias wouldn't spray half a gallon of seed directly onto her crotch, she slowly inserted him, her vaginal lips parting to accept Elias readily, despite his girth. Whether a man was small or large, Eden's pussy, much like a succubus', was always a perfect fit. She didn't torture Elias this time. Eden lowered herself until she had all of him inside her.

Eden smiled as she saw Elias' reaction. She'd seen that look many times before, although it had been decades. She'd missed this. Eden resolved that she must ask Ilias to let her reward good men, whether heroes or not. It was a new world, after all. All good men deserved rewards and Eden intended to dispense them.

"Oh my me," Elias gasped as Eden slowly rotated her hips, her folds twisting along his entire fourteen inches. "Eden, you can't even imagine how good this feels! Better than anything I've ever felt!"

"I'm so happy to make you feel that way, hero," Eden replied, switching to slow thrusting, but only letting a few inches of Elias out before dropping back down to engulf him once again. She alternately tightened her vaginal muscles and made them suck on him. Hmmm, now that angels and monsters were allowed to be friends, Eden felt she should get some pointers from the more skilled succubi. Eden was proud of her technique, but it was very…. Conventional. Perhaps she should introduce some more unpredictable and kinky techniques into her repertoire.

"Eden," Elias stammered. "Do you… do you want to feel good, too? I wish you could feel what I'm feeling right now. I can make that happen. Do you want me to?"

Eden paused. Then she bent down and kissed Elias tenderly.

"No, my goddess," Eden answered. "I enjoy sex already. It's emotional for me. I feel an intimate connection with everyone I pleasure. The happiness I feel is as great as their own. Of course, I am curious as to what sexual pleasure feels like. But I don't want to become addicted to it. I fear that once that box is opened, I can never close it. I also fear it would ruin the emotional aspect of the act for me. I might become…. Horny and fuck men like a bunny girl. But Ilias, I can't believe you thought of my own pleasure! I never would have imagined my goddess caring about how I felt. Despite your new addictions, I know now that you will be the goddess you always could have been. Perhaps not in spite of those addictions, but because of them. Now, let me bring you to the climax of our little role play."

Eden brought Elias to that climax quickly, as in, two hours later, which was fast for Eden. For the previous ninety minutes, every movement of Eden was like a heaven Elias never wanted to leave, just enough to always keep him right on the edge, but never enough to send him over. When Eden was ready to finish him, she bent down and kissed him again, her tongue exploring his mouth as she thrust, her breasts pressed against his muscular chest. And with that, he emptied what seemed like an entire ocean of semen into the Seraph. Her pussy drank it easily, not even a drop escaping.

Eden continued to straddle Elias and look down at him. Slowly, Elias changed back into Ilias' default form. Eden took some time to admire Ilias' beauty. Her lovely blonde locks were splayed around her head, and that head was lolling off to the side. Again, it was not critical ecstasy, which made Eden all the prouder of her work.

"Ilias, it occurs to me that Elias never insulted me," Eden laughed. "How can I eat you if you don't insult me?"

"Maybe…. Maybe next time," Ilias stuttered.

"As my goddess wishes," Eden said, rising and returning to the scrying pool to watch over Luka and Alice. "Ilias, are you coming?"

"I…. I think I'm just going to lie on this cloud for awhile."

Eden smiled again as she heard snoring.

The walk back to Iliasport was pleasant, but then again the weather usually was pleasant on Ilias Continent. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. The information I'd received on Sentora was that except for Noah, which could be nice a few months out of the year, the rest of the continent had too many serious weather events, or in the case of Safina, no weather at all except for heat.

"Don't you want to talk?" Alice asked.

We were about halfway back to Iliasport and I'd set a fast pace. Alice had expressed irritation that we'd failed to make it to the treasure cave before having to camp, so I thought getting back to Iliasport would please her. But my lack of surprise at the revelation that she was the Monster Lord, even though I hadn't been certain of it, seemed to stick in her craw.

"About what?" I asked innocently.

"You know what!"

"About you being the Monster Lord? I guess…. I guess I sorta knew, although I really didn't? It's hard to explain. You dropped hints. I just didn't want to ask directly. If you weren't the Monster Lord, you'd have questioned my intelligence, and if you were, I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."

"Or maybe you knew right from the start and chose not to reveal that you knew?" Alice said accusingly.

"Alice, this won't shock you, but I know nothing about anything," I said. Indeed, she did not look shocked by that revelation. "But I am getting these weird feelings of déjà vu."

"Speak like a normal person!"

"It means that I think I've seen something before. You've been experiencing that as well, haven't you? Like wondering if you'd met me before even though you knew that was impossible?"

"Yes," Alice agreed. "I'm getting a little concerned that there might be something going on that I don't understand. You not being shocked that I was the Monster Lord isn't even what bothers me most."

"Really? So what did bother you the most?"

"When I was giving you that handjob in the Sutherland, you didn't seem at all overwhelmed by it. Any other man would be thrashing about, or trying to. That's why I held you in place."

"You didn't notice the five orgasms in five minutes?" I asked. "You didn't hear the moans and gasps and begging for more? How exactly was I supposed to respond?"

"When I turned my hand into tentacles you didn't freak out at all."

"I already know you're a monster."

"Maybe," Alice said grudgingly. "But tell me the truth. Was there an element of familiarity to that experience?"

I paused. I had to admit she was right. At first I'd chalked it up to my knowledge that even though I couldn't remember any sexual experiences, I was fairly certain that I wasn't a virgin. So when she'd wrapped her wondrous monster hand around me and begun stroking, exceeding tenfold what my own hand could do, I just assumed that a woman somewhere had pleasured me with her hand at some point. But then there were the tentacles…. I knew human women couldn't do that, and not many monsters could either, at least as far as I knew.

"I guess….I guess it did seem a little familiar," I admitted. "Even the tentacle thing."

"If I offered to do anything you wanted to you, right here and now, what would you ask for?" Alice asked.

"Are you offering right now?"

"Maybe, but probably not. I just need to confirm a theory."

"Well," I mused. "I'd want you to use your mouth on me."

"I suspected as much," Alice said, smirking. "I thought it might be my breasts, given how much you sneak stares at them."

"I do not! At least, not a lot."

"But your eyes got as big as gold coins when you watched me lick that honey off my fingers," she continued. "You'd love me to use my mouth on you, wouldn't you? Ha! I can smell your lust! And there's a bulge in your pants! Pervert!"

"Was that the theory you wanted to confirm?" I asked. "Well, congratulations. I'm a pervert! But only for you! As I recalled, that pretty little fox offered to let me touch her special fluffy tail."

"Hmmm, maybe I should reward you for refusing that. Not many men would decline an offer like that from a Heavenly Knight. So I withdraw my statement. Besides, it's irrelevant. That wasn't the theory I was trying to confirm. So you desire my mouth. Which means you've been thinking about it."

Alice leaned in close to me, her mouth slightly open, her tongue licking her lips. I backed away slightly, embarrassed by my raging erection.

"So since I know you've been thinking it," Alice said seductively. "How do you imagine I'd do it?"

"You want me to… describe it?" I asked, turning beet red. I wasn't comfortable with dirty talk.

"In detail," Alice said, getting closer. "Help me confirm my theory, and I'll be very nice to you when we get to Iliasport."

"Um…. Now mind you, this is just my fantasies, so please don't judge me," I stammered.

"Go on," Alice said, licking her eyeball, which was not actually sexy but I decided not to point that out.

"Well, I imagine you'd lick it a lot," I said. "Really big, long licks that seem to last forever."

"Uh huh. Not very imaginative, but I like to do that. Continue."

"Well, I imagine you'd suck it…"

"Luka, skip the boring parts that every girl does when performing fellatio and get to the fantasy parts!"

"I fantasize that you'd coil that tongue around my shaft like your snake body coils around me…"

"Ah ha!" Alice crowed triumphantly.

"Ah ha… what?"

"Have you ever had sex with a lamia before?"

"I wouldn't know. I have amnesia, remember?"

"The odds of you having had sex with a lamia are remote. First off, you remember your last two years. That means you were a kid."

"When has that ever stopped a monster?" I asked. "The slime girls will violate anyone who can produce semen."

"Lamias are no different," Alice conceded. "But there are no lamias here on Ilias continent."

"We already know I wasn't born on this continent."

"Lamias also tend to either eat their prey or keep it," Alice continued. "It's not impossible that as a very young man you had a relationship with a lamia, but it's very unlikely that you would be able to tell me about it now."

"But it is possible," I insisted. "After all, you've drained me once and haven't eaten or forced me to be your mate."

"Yes, there are some civilized lamias. Still, I think the evidence points to a time loop."

"A time loop?"

"A time loop is when we experience the same events over and over."

"Well that doesn't sound good," I replied.

"There are other possibilities, none of them good," Alice said. "And all of them smell of Ilias."

"Well if it is a time loop, how do we get out of it?"

"By doing something different. Stop. We're making camp here."

"We are?" I asked, confused. "We can easily make it to Iliasport just after dark and stay in a hotel."

"I need to confirm another theory. And keep a promise to you."

"You don't mean….?"

Alice smiled wickedly and licked her lips again. I assembled the camp in record time and began working on dinner.

"What are they doing?!" Ilias asked, turning to Eden. "Why did they stop? They aren't supposed to stop!"

"I think Alice made it quite clear why they were stopping, goddess," Eden replied. "Does it really matter? They don't have to reenact the true history. They just have to get to the destination you planned for them. The fact that Alice now suspects something is concerning, but not unexpected. Memory wipes are never fullproof, and Luka was reconstructed from a tiny percentage of his essence. But even that small percentage would contain some memories, although they may be vague and difficult to decipher."

"And of course he'd remember the blowjobs!" Ilias sighed. "I bet he doesn't remember mine."

"I can give you lessons if you desire, goddess."

"What are you trying to say!"

"I didn't mean to insult you, it's just that…. You do tend to perform them rarely, and you go a bit fast. You also seem to pay no attention to what the man you are rewarding wants."

"I'm a fucking goddess! Whatever I do is an amazing reward!"

"True enough, but…. Never mind, goddess, as perfect as you are, you can always become… perfecter."

"That's not a word. Anyway, this sucks. I'm not going to sit here and watch her blow him. Since they are settling in for the night and are in no danger, I'm going to go to Plansect Forest."

"Plansect Forest?" Eden asked. "Whatever for?"

"I intend to get eaten by the dreaded Alra Vore!"

"Ilias, this is becoming far too frequent," Eden cautioned. "Didn't we agree that you shouldn't be doing this so often?"

"Luka and Alice are really stressing me out right now!" Ilias said defensively. "Wait, are you jealous?!"

"Me, jealous? Of course not! I desire only your happiness, my goddess. I just worry about you."

"Well thank you, mom! Perhaps you'd prefer I take up drinking?"

"I can make a superb wine out of my true form….."

"I already experienced alcohol as a mortal. Highly overrated. What is not overrated is getting eaten. So that's what I'm going to do."

"Are you certain you don't want me to do it?"

"Eden, I say this with all sincerity. You are the best lover in the universe, bar none. But I'm looking for quick and dirty, and that is not in your skill set."

"Yes, goddess, of course. I can only be what I am. Quick and dirty is not my way."

"Exactly," Ilias agreed. "So keep an eye on those two while I go get eaten. I should be back in less than an hour. Alra Vores eat fast."

Promestein and Tamamo were staring at the unconscious prone form in the crater. It was a blue lamia, but it was nothing like any blue lamia either of them had ever seen. This one had a penis. And a beard.

"I think I can say with confidence that we're on the wrong world," Promestein said.

"Did you make a wrong turn at Alberquerque?" Tamamo asked sarcastically.

"Figures you'd like looney tunes. I'm more into South Park and Beavis and Butthead for my brainless entertainment."

"What do you think he likes?" Tamamo wondered.

"Now that's a fascinating question," Promestein admitted. "And I'll get my first answer by taking a blood sample. Tamamo, please collect a semen sample."

"Um…. I'm not violating that dignified and very powerful monster."

"You're an ancestor. What's he going to do about it?"

"I left my rape days behind long ago," Tamamo insisted. "I'm also married. You're not. If you want a semen sample, you can ask him nicely and then get it yourself."

"Did someone say semen?!" the male monster exclaimed as he sprang upright. "Hey, what's with the needle? Wait, are you an angel?!"

"Sorta yes, sorta no?" Promestein answered. "Just hold still, I just want to study you."

The lamia slithered back a few yards. "No way in hell am I letting some strange quasi-angel poke me!"

"Can you at least answer some questions then, since you're awake?" PRomestein asked, putting the syringe back in her purse.

"Um…. You got questions? Because I have like…. Nothing but questions. I am made of questions right now," the lamia said.

"Okay, we'll take turns then," Tamamo said. "Let's start with your name."

"My name?" the lamia asked, a big grim appearing on his face. "I'm Albert, the Monster Lord. Twenty-seventh of the Fateburn line! And who might you be?"

"I am Tamamo, the ancestor of all kitsunes," Tamamo answered.

"Um… no you're not. Tamamo is a male. All monsters are male. Which brings me to my next question…."

"Our turn," Promestein interrupted. "So if you're male, and all monsters are male, how do you feed?"

"How do we feed? Um….. I really dig pizza," Albert replied. "Pork chops, cupcakes, shrimp… really, you name it, I eat it."

"What about semen?" Tamamo asked.

"S-Semen?!" Albert exclaimed. "First off, that's disgusting, not that I'm judging my gay subordinates, hey whatever floats your boat, amiright? It just doesn't float mine. So now it's my turn, right? How do you exist? I know a lot of foxes, and all of them are male. Actually, you kinda remind me of Tommy. He's got nine tails too. Not nearly as fluffy as yours, though."

Tamamo blushed. Promestein facepalmed. There was no surer way to flatter Tamamo than to compliment the fluffiness of her tails.

"So it seems that we've been misdirected to a similar world where all monsters are male," Promestein concluded. "They apparently have the same dietary needs as humans, although I'm sure that varies greatly when you get to the more exotic species. I'm guessing you rely on females for reproduction."

"Obviously," Albert replied. "It's my quest to find a female that keeps on causing me to end up in that damned hole. I don't know why that guy keeps on throwing me into the same hole. Hmmm… Maybe if I stopped punching him in the face…. So you're from another world? Like mine, but where monsters are…. Female? This is a rare opportunity! You have to have sex with me!"

"Sorry, married," Tamamo said, flashing her ring. It meant nothing to Albert.

"But I'm assuming on my world it's the same as yours," Albert persisted. "Monsters are vastly superior to humans in bed. Human women are putty in our hands, and I imagine human males are putty in yours."

"Nothing turns to putty in my hands," Tamamo replied.

"But what if a monster… had sex… with a monster!"

"It would be an interesting experiment," Promestein pointed out. "Not the sex part, so much. I know exactly how that would go. You'd probably both nearly die from the experience."

"But it would be the greatest sex either of us has ever had!" Albert argued.

"What really interests me is what would happen if he impregnated you," Promestein continued. "Would you have males in your litter?"

"Interesting, but I'll pass," Tamamo said.

"So pointless, nonreproductive sex it is!" Albert announced.

"I did not agree to that either," Tamamo said, swishing her tails threateningly when Albert tried to get closer.

"C'mon, Tamamo, I'm not a bad guy! I'm a fantastic guy, actually!"

"A fantastic guy who has yet to find a woman."

"Hey, I find and bed women in every town and village I travel to," Albert huffed. "Who can resist all this? It's a WIFE that's hard to find."

Tamamo had to admit that "all this" was pretty impressive. Albert's body was absolutely ripped and she estimated that the muscle mass in his tail section was at least three times that of Alice's. Testosterone indeed did wonderful things for the monster body. He had a great smile as well and the kind of lips Tamamo could have kissed for hours had her mind not been solely on her Luka. Heck, before she met Luka, she would have raped this guy before he had a chance to say anything to her.

"Sorry, the answer is still no," Tamamo said.

"But he's a great guy!" Promestein pleaded.

"We are not your experiments, Promestein!"

"I'm willing to be an experiment," Albert suggested. "You can even stick me with that needle. Once. If Tamamo will have sex with me."

"Not gonna happen," Tamamo said.

"All right," Albert said. "I didn't want to have to do this. I didn't want to have to break out my secret weapon, the weapon that no woman has ever resisted."

"What could you possibly break out?" Tamamo asked. "You're already naked. And don't try to use magic on me. Believe me, whatever you know, I can easily defeat it."

"No magic!" Albert said quickly. "At least not the kind you're thinking! I do not compel women through eye magic. No, for the few that can resist my natural charms, there's the one thing that always wins them over."

"I'm afraid to ask," Tamamo sighed.

"When all else fails," Albert intoned. "When the winning smile, or the easy charm, or the rock hard abs don't work, there's always…. My rap game!"

"Rape game?" Tamamo asked. "You just rape them when they aren't interested?"

"Not rape!" Albert exclaimed. "I don't do that! Rap! You know, like hip hop? They don't have that on your world?"

"They do, but Tamamo's an old soul," Promestein said. "She listens primarily to traditional Yamatai music. She's not up on the current trends."

"I like J-pop too nowadays! And Luka got me into Babymetal!" Tamamo pointed out.

"I don't know what any of that is," Albert said. "But here's what I do know…. I LIKE FLUFFY TAILS AND I CANNOT LIE….! You other brothers can't deny.. That when a fox walks in with an itty bitty waist and a fluffy tail in your face, you get SPRUNG!"

"Promestein, please get us out of here," Tamamo said quietly.

"My anaconda don't want none unless you GOT TAILS HON!"

Promestein pressed the button on the dimensional hopper.