I'll be fine

The ringing woke Cheryl up startled. With her hand still on her beating heart, she checked her phone for whoever was that broke her out of that nightmare. But seeing the name of her mother, made her throw the phone on the wall, breaking into pieces.

"Fuck!" she shouted angry that she let herself have a reaction like that again. Lately she couldn't control her anger anymore. That's why her laptop was ducked taped, just like her glasses. And now she didn't have a phone anymore. What the actual fuck was wrong with her. Maybe she was losing it, she was finally walking the same path as her brother. She didn't have a gun in the house, but razer's could do the work.

"Go out, puddin' you need to stretch your wings"

"Meow!"

"Even you're damned cat wants some air."

"I don't have wings anymore, Danny. They were cut a long time ago."

But she had to get herself another laptop and glasses, and now a phone it seemed. So she went into the bathroom, but closed the door after her. Making sure her dead brother got the message, and left her some privecy.

First she got herself naked, leaving the clothes on the floor, then she looked into the mirror, and tried to untangle the birds nest, that was her hair. When her fingers couldn't do the magic, she knew that the shampoo and the conditioner would save her.

After a long bath, shaving and half an hour of finger working with her hair and her conditioner, she heard Pablo scrathing at the door. Smiling, she got out of the tub and looked again in the mirror. Her black eyes were staring back at her, making Cheryl self conscious about the weight she lost these couple of months. She didn't tell her mother what Danny said before he shot himself, and she sure didn't tell her that he was still with her, talking, haunting her. Because she couldn't find any proper word exept that. In the first week she googled it, she read countless books about this, and haunted is the word that stayed. Her mother, was a mess, probably still was, and to tell her that she could see and talk to her golden boy Danny, was what made her move from New York all the way to a town like Greendale. Actually while she googled about ghosts and spirits, she came across some photos from this town, and it just called to her, like a safe heaven. Cheryl saw just one article and she knew she had to move here. To explore more. It was calling to her. But her anxiety got the best of her, and after she moved, she made a nest of her apartment, the anger issues got more frequent and locked herself inside, locking Pablo with her along the way. Her poor kitty didn't have any choice in the matter and ended up in the same shitt storm that was her life lately. Pablo was a beautiful Bengal cat, tall and slender, but also really moody. He was possessive and didn't let anyone touch her, he would go from her baby to a full predator in a second. And she liked that, she felt safe with him, for the last years since she found him in that shelter, she felt safe from that monster that broke her. Cheryl was finally free and was actually starting to believe that he wouldn't find her ever again.

Hiding herself in the oversized hoodie, she took one last look at the mirror and decided that maybe someday she would have the courage to dress like she used to, but unfortunately that day was too far for her reach.

"Come to momma, Pablo. You know the rules, people don't understand you're a fluffy ball."

She smiled when he flicked his tail angryly in Danny's direction, growling annoyed. Cheryl put his leather leash with spikes, and he bit her twice in the process.

"Wait a sec, I forgot my shoes."

"You used to dress to kill puddin' , why do you always hide yourself inside those oversized hoodies?"

"They're comfortable."

"You never dressed uncomfortable."

"Danny, leave it. I don't wanna talk about it."

Taking Pablo's leash, she left her apartment, but not before locking all her three locks, trying the handle, making sure it was hard to get inside.

"I just don't understand why you hide in these clothes and why are you always so paranoid with that damn door. Something happened that I don't know?"

"Danny I said leave it, god dammit. You and mom left me ten years ago, a lot happened to me that neither of you know, 'cause guess what?! Neither of you cared enough to know!"

She was yelling at this point, her anger getting the best of her, and Pablo was restless starting to growl at Danny, because in her own cosmic joke, her cat was the only one who could see him too.

"I know I did a shitty job as a big brother, and someday I'll explain everything to you, but please puddin' you have to believe me when I say this, it was for your own protection, to keep you safe."

Cheryl felt her tears starting to slide down her cheeks, he was standing right in front of her, with his pretty blond hair all over the place, and his stupid position with his hands in his front pockets of his jeans. His signature pose when he fucked up. But she couldn't punch him in his chest like she used to, because she couldn't touch him, she tried countless times in the first months and she would always end up reaching right through him. She needed his hug so much, now more then ever, because he didn't know why she ended up so broken, so paranoid of people. He didn't have a clue what happened to her, why she forgot to be young, to live...

"Well muffin', rest assured, you did a really great fuckin' job at that."