25. Cold Heart

Javin refused to say anything and he became increasingly quiet. Forth couldn't do anything to make him talk, but at least Javin wasn't avoiding him anymore.

He still did his job and duties well, being as friendly and cheerful as ever, but he kept his distance.

Forth noticed that Javin was avoiding his touch and no longer even looked him in the eye when he spoke. There was something empty in Forth's heart, but he wasn't sure what.

"Forth! Hey, you've been daydreaming," said Jock annoyed. "Look! You haven't even flipped through the document since earlier."

Forth looked down at the document Jock pointed at and realized he was still on the same page from earlier.

"Ah, I got distracted," Forth muttered. He put down the pen in his hand and stretched as he leaned back in his chair. "Can I postpone this document first?"

"Sure. It's not too urgent," Jock said. He closed the document in front of Forth. "Now tell me what happened?"

"Hm? Nothing, I guess."

"Do not lie!" replied Jock. "You daydream and repeatedly sigh as if there is a big rock pressing your chest."

"It's ... just a matter of work," Forth said after a moment's thought.

Jock hit the table lightly. "Bullsh*t! It's not about work. I know all about your job, our job. It's about Javin!"

Forth sighed again. It was impossible to escape Jock's observation.

"You've been gloomy since I came but when Javin came in with coffee your eyes shone so brightly. So tell me what's the matter?"

"He's ... away from me," Forth muttered.

"What do you mean stay away? He wants to quit work?" asked Jock, surprised.

"No, that's not the point," Forth said, shaking his head. "After he got sick, he changed. Be cold and keep his distance from me."

"Is it possible he's still sick?"

"The doctor stated that he is healthy, even his anemia has improved."

"Hm, indeed I see he's fresh again. Is his job okay?"

"Perfect! When it comes to work, he never make me disappointed."

"Then what do you mean he stayed away, if he's still here and doing well?"

"He no longer smiles ... with his eyes. He no longer responds to my teasing by laughing, blushing, or replying. Just smiles politely and walks away as if I didn't say anything. He no longer speaks to me first, only hears me speak and nod or shake his head when necessary."

Jock looked at Forth with a frown. Forth's face was so gloomy and sad.

"Mr. Jock, Mr. Forth, lunch is ready," Javin said at the door, preventing Jock from responding to Forth's words.

Jock wondered if Javin had overheard his conversation with Forth about himself.

"We'll be in the dining room soon, Nong," said Javin with a smile.

Javin nodded and withdrew politely.

Jock turned to Forth. "He does look different," Javin said. "His eyes look sad." "That's it, I mean. He even called me Mr. Forth, not Phi. Mr. Forth, he said!" Forth stood up and walked to the door. "Let's eat first and watch how he moves."

Jock followed Forth into the dining room. Javin was heating food on the stove and immediately prepared food. There are only two sets of cutlery on the dining table.

"Nong, why are there only two?" asked Jock, pointing at the table. "You're not eating with us?"

Javin smiled politely and served the food that he had finished warming up. "I ate on campus earlier, Mr. Jock."

Forth watched Javin's movements with his eyes. Javin knew he was being watched, but he tried to stay calm with a straight face and a straight smile.

"Javin, get your plate and sit here," Forth said in a calm tone. He pointed at the chair next to him.

Javin looked up and stopped moving serving food. He stared at Forth for a moment, then nodded and took a plate, then sat beside Forth.

Jock felt the tension creeping between them, as if a knife was hanging on a thin thread in the air and ready to fall at any moment and strike them.

Forth stared at Javin with unreadable eyes, then started eating silently, as well as Javin, who only took the salad onto his plate.

Jock regretted being here, caught in the cold war between the two people in front of him.

Jock said goodbye back to the office after finishing lunch. "You know, Forth, if you don't patch things up between you two soon I'm afraid that in the next few weeks you might need to find a new assistant and really, if that happens, I won't be helping you anymore," Jock said quietly, as he and Forth were in front of the garage.

"The thing is, Jock, I have absolutely no idea where he went wrong," Forth complained.

Jock got into the car and before driving, he thought for a moment, then rolled down the window. "Forth, I think he's heartbroken."

Forth watched Jock's car drive away and out through the gate that opened automatically. Forth went inside and closed the door. He saw Javin clearing the dining table and then washing the dishes in the sink. He walked slowly closer to Javin and stood behind him.

Javin didn't seem to hear Forth's steps, because he almost dropped the plate in his hand when Forth wrapped his arm around Javin's waist from behind.

"Mr. Forth, what are you doing?" Javin exclaimed in surprise. He stood stiffly in front of the sink.

Forth could feel how fast Javin's heart was beating, from behind his back against Forth's chest. Javin's hand gripped the side of the sink tightly until his knuckles turned white.

Forth tightened his arms around Javin's slender waist, closed his eyes enjoying the vanilla scent from Javin's body, when he placed his chin on Javin's shoulder.

"Nong, stop treating me like a stranger," whispered Forth against Javin's neck. He stared at the red, blue, and green veins beneath the milky white skin.

Javin closed his eyes. "We are strangers, Mr. Forth. I only work for you and you pay me."

Forth squeezed Javin's waist and turned the younger man's body to face him. "No! Our relationship is more than that. I see you as more than a worker and you know it!"

Javin turned and stared at the floor. "No. I just assumed and hoped you would think of me that way, but in reality it's just my wishful thinking."

Forth grabbed Javin's chin and held his face level with his. "Look Javin, I don't know how to convince you, but I feel something different about you. I just don't know how to react to this situation because I still have other things I need to take care of."

Javin stared at Forth for a moment, then nodded and gently brushed Forth's hand away. "Then let me fortify my heart like this, Mr. Forth. At least, I try to be professional according to my situation."

Forth was stunned and Javin took advantage of the moment to break away from Forth's grip and walk away from the kitchen.

Forth's blood rushed to his head and in an instant he grabbed Javin's hand and pulled it hard. "Damn it Javin, don't piss me off!"

Javin didn't have time to say anything because the next second, Forth's lips landed on his. Hard. Hurt

***