Panic

Sam takes fast steps to her hotel room. Her hands were shaking. She unlocks the door, gets in, and slides to the floor. With shallow breaths, she tries to draw in air, but she can't.

"Damn it, Sam."

She tries to take deeper breaths, but in vain. She knew that she was having one of her panic attacks.

It takes all her strength to push to her feet and wobble to her carry-on. When she opens it, she finds the paper bags she had placed on top. She did not expect that she would need them, but she is grateful she brought them.

Sam takes one of the bags and places it over her nose and mouth. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"One." Then exhales.

Inhales. "Two." Exhales.

Inhales. "Three."

She is already calming down. She counts until five. Thankfully, it works. She sits on the sofa and just stares blankly for a moment.

'Kei.'

What she had feared happened. Sam shakes her head and reprimands herself.

'I should have known better than to go to his house.'

Suddenly, her body feels heavy and tired. She lies down on the sofa, not having any energy to even walk to her bed. She closes her eyes and falls asleep right away.

The next morning, Ed knocks on Sam's door a few times, but no answer still.

'She cannot be sleeping, the meeting is in one hour.' He uses his second key to open the room.

"Good morning Sam, I brought coffee–" His words die when he sees her sleeping on the sofa. "Sam?" He rushes to her. "Sam," he calls again, noticing the paper bag next to her.

'What happened?'

Sam stirs a bit before opening her eyes. "Ed?"

"Are you ok?" he asks. "Why aren't you sleeping in your bed?"

"I was just so tired when I came back last night." Sam sits up, immediately feeling pain in her neck from the position she slept in.

"Come on, you have to get ready for your meeting with the dean."

"Crap, am I late?"

"What the hell happened to your lip?" Ed notices the cut.

"My lip?" Sam walks to the bathroom mirror. "Oh, I probably bit it when I was sleeping or something. Nothing makeup can't fix." She peaks from the bathroom door.

Ed stares at her for a moment then sighs. "Why don't you take a shower while I get some clothes ready for you." She complies.

They make their way out of the hotel as soon as Sam is ready. The ride to the university is silent. Sam seems to be lost in her thoughts while drinking her coffee, so Ed decides not to disturb her. They make it to the meeting just in time.

"Good luck."

"Thanks, Ed." Sam smiles at him, but he has known her enough years to notice that it didn't even reach her eyes.

He sits on a chair in the hallway and waits for her while going through some emails. There were already requests for interviews in Tokyo. He knows that Sam hates interviews, but he decides to do his best to convince her. She needs the exposure after the long break she has taken from painting.

"Hey."

"Hey, how was it?" he asks.

"He seems nice. I am only going to teach twice a week and he wants me to start next Monday."

"Twice a week is good. You will have enough time to paint." Sam shrugs. "I hope you are still considering the exhibit suggestion."

She stops and looks at him for a moment. "I am," she answers with a weak smile. "But I am not ready yet."

"I understand, take all the time you need."

"Shall we?" Sam asks with a smile.

"Do you want to grab something to eat?"

She shakes her head. "Nah, I'm so tired I just want to sleep."

"I feel you, the jet lag is real." They both laugh.

As soon as they get into the car, Samantha's phone starts ringing. She looks at her phone and groans when she sees that it is a private number.

"Who is it?" Ed asks.

"I am pretty sure it's Andrew, again." She hangs up and, only seconds later, she gets a voice message.

'Is he the reason why she was in that state this morning?'

"Let's get you a Japanese phone number that he won't be able to obtain."

"That sounds good," Sam utters. "I am sick of his bullshit."

As soon as Sam reaches her hotel room, she crashes on her bed. She grabs her phone and stares at it for a moment, then she pushes the button to check her voicemail.

Sure enough, all the messages are from Andrew. He was angry and swearing, demanding that she goes back to New York until they finalize their divorce.

Sam scoffs.

'Does he actually think that he stands a chance against my lawyer? To come after my money after he cheated on me? Kim will destroy him.'

The thought brings a smile to her face. She couldn't wait to watch him lose and finally be free from him.

He has changed so much over the years, and not in a good way. Sam knew that she wasn't perfect. She was sure that her stubbornness was one of the reasons their marriage failed, but she would have never cheated on Andrew. She still can't understand why he couldn't just leave her and file for divorce if he wasn't happy with her anymore.

Sam deletes all of Andrew's messages. Getting a new number is the only way to stop him from reaching her. She moved to Tokyo to be away from him, the divorce was getting out of hand, he was getting out of hand. She was even considering filing a restraining order against him. She took Professor Wakamatsu's offer as a sign.

She throws her phone on the bed and quickly changes her clothes before getting under the covers. She immediately falls asleep.

Oddly, she does not dream of Andrew. Her dreams are filled with a certain green-eyed man who is even more attractive than he was back in high school.