" Hyy I am so..." I look up and its was Grayson.. we look at me and than draw how he catching me up but he stop..
" Gray.." i said to him.. and than he looking away to him and he's eye's landed on me..
" Hyy princess.. why you are running of like this.. " he ask me.. and than I pull back away to him.. and make some distance with him after that draw stood beside to me.. and than I remember about kids.. fuck..
" I was just.. wait gray I will be back.." i said.. and than draw know my sudden panic he also follow me which I ignore it.. how can I. so dumb.
" What's going on princess and where is kid's.. " gray yelled at behind me.. I totally ignore him and walk the game place where they are playing and when I reach i get scared.. where the hell they go..
" I am asking something.." gray reach me grab my hand and turn to face him.. and I got scared.. what I said to him.. he will be mad.. damn.. how much I act like immature..
" Daddy.." stella run to gray.. gray leave me look and turn to face at Stella with happy smile like this he's mood change.. and felt relieve.. but still guilt come over me..
I look at Jesper and Mason both are with draw.. and walk to them..
" Where you guys have been" I ask Mason..
" Nothing after the game we are standing in other side to looking for you girlfriend.." he said to me.. and site in my knee and hug him.. damn how could I will do such things.. stupid me.
" It's not you fault don't be think like that.." he said to for concerned me..
" Don't.. it's because of you.. if you didn't come me nad divert my mind this will never happen.. " I snap him.. I don't care it's he's fault and he deserves it.
" Really.. you really want to do it again..." He said and I know he also get mad about it..
" It's better you stay away for me.. I don't want any distraction.." i said to him and stood of my foot.. gray come and join us..
" You guy's are alright.." he said to looking at us how me and draw looking at each with full of hater's..
"Yeahh we are fine.. " draw said.. and I rolled my eyes..
I am still scared about it.. what if something happened to kids. I will never forgive myself.. now like this I will take care of kids.. when I am still acting like one.. I have to be more Careful.. what I was thinking.. I myself now more than him..
" So if you all are play all ride and enjoye your day than we are thinking to go to hotel.." gray said.. and I look kids. And I know they all are tried.. and it's almost evening before it's getting to dark.. it's better we can go home..
" Yeahh we have to kids are already look sleepy.." i told him and he nodded with he's head.. I carry Stella when Grayson holding Jasper and draw Carrying Mason..
Kids are look tried.. but I am happy that they enjoy..
We all are reach the bus.. and than I seat beside dad.. I don't mind in that.. mom setting besides aunt Lucy so I am fine with that..
Stella is sleeping in my arm.. gray want to get her but I told him it's oky I will be carry her.. he smile and seat beside bob..
The ride was silent.. all are to tried.. and sleepy so was I but I still not want to sleep I still remember what happened when I landed my hotel room.. and I don't want to recap that seen again..
" I see how you connect with kids to fast.." dad said. And I look at him and smile..
" Yeahh they are so cutes and easy to know them.. " i told him.. looking at Stella how she sleeping in my arm it's just perfect.. did I ready to Settle down..
" Did you.." dad ask me.. and I looking at him.. I really said this loud.. and he laugh and nodded with he's head..
" I don't know dad.. when I am not ready for getting married but fortunately I did in early age . After that I accept it but it's not go well the way it want to be.. now I just scared for this.. I don't want to feel like that again.. I am scared of another heartbreak. " i said to me truly what I am feeling about.. for me he's the one who can fully understand me.. he know everything about me.. so I know that he can give me best advice..
" I know I saw you how you grow up I am there when it's all happened.. I see how you come little kid to smart and a business woman.. and anyone can want to be with you.. you also konw this don't you" he said to me.. and I look at him and I smile.. I still didn't get it what he want to say..
" I know how you feel.. how's you life goes.. but you still never give up.. and you mad lots of decisions that you get runway to face that to get hurt by that.. but now you have to stop this.. and have to settle down.. and act like the way you you handle your business so perfectly. " he said me I want to argue with him but he stop me and continue..
" Well I am not acting like your mother.. I am also not forcing to married today or tomorrow.. I want to just say that you can just give it chance. Maybe you will find right person who wants to be with you.. and give you lots of kids.. you know.. " he joke.. that we both laugh..
" Thanks Dad.. I know you are right.. and I will think about it.. " i said to him..
" I heard you back with that Steve guy.." he ask me.. and I thinking about him.. didn't I do this fast.. I mean I didn't think about it.. it's about three years.. lots of happened.. I think I made it to fast..
" I am still trying.. but I don't think it's going that well the way it supposed to be.. " i tod him and nodded..
" I think you have to talk about this.. before things goes worse.. " he said to me. I know I have to do this.. dad still didn't know that I already cheating.. and I don't want to do that.. so it's better I will just stop it here.. so it's best for us.. I don't want to break our little friendship bond.. to this stupid relationship..
" I know you are right.. before it happens I have to talk to him.. it's better to both of us.. " i told him. And than after that we talk about our business.. and than how it's all doing it.. and than Stella wake up and than me and Dad both tinkle her and made her laugh.. and she is cute one.. and also my favorite one..
We all are reach the hotel gray took stella from me.. and I don't mind it that.. and than we all walk to our hotel room..
I look Shawn and he already coming to my direction.. it's right time to talk about this.. and make clear this out..
" We need to talk.." we both said in same time.. and he look like he is serious about it.. so did I.. we both nodded with head.. decide to where to go..
" Let's go the cafe.. I see there yesterday when we coming to the hotel it's not that far away. " he nodded and we both walk..
We didn't talk much.. he told my hand and we both walk silently.. and that silent killing me..
When we reach cafe.. it's not that empty or not that full.. it's already dinner time so is obvious it is empty..
We both enter and get empty table and order our coffee.. my mind already paining to thinking all of this.. so I really need coffee so I don't mind what time it is..
" So I want to talk about us.." I burn out.. I know it's not going like that but still he have to do it now or later so why not now..
" Same.. actually Jennifer and me got talk talk like you said and it's not got well.. and I want to share with you so you know this about I don't want to hide anything from you.." he said to me.. well now that's I didn't know how come from.. but I give me chance to first talk about this after that I will told him about my things..
" She is pregnant.. " he said.. and I that news really like really shock me.. how the hell this happened.. than I remember Shawn told me that they both use to sleep together.. and it just physical need nothing more.. my eyes wild hearing this I want to know how it's happen so I looking at him to continue..
" Well still I don't know how the hell this happened.. Because I know that night we both are drunk and it's happened.. so I also really remember any of it.. and for now I can't confirm it it's mine or not.. and if it is I have to take my responsibility.." he said to me.. which I know it he will do it.. if I was in place I also do the same..
" So I don't know how to say this.. or talk about this.. " he stop and looking at me.. I know where it is going to end.. and I didn't feel sad or hurt.. because it is going to be happen that's why we both are here..
" Listen Shawn.. it's oky.. I am oky with that.. even I also want to talk about this relationship.. I mean see we used to be together in past life.. but now I am not feeling same like the way I feel about you before.. And that's why I want to talk about this.. I am sorry but.." i told him.. I see he look sad I know he likes me to long time also wait for me.. but he lost me that time when he ignore me that time.. and I also get our it.. maybe I rebound him to forget to gray.. and it is work.. I accept it now but I don't want to know him this.. if he know this he will hurt. which I don't want that.
" But still... Whenever we together I feel like we never be alone.. and I thought we could be continuing but I just can't.. you told your reason.. and I had mine.. " I told him and before he said something I again spoke..
" No matter what happen.. I will be always be you friend Shawn.. and I am sorry.. and congrats I am happy for you.. but i want to ask this one this.. are you ready to settle down with her.." I ask him..
" Look bella I never thought about it.. I never feel like this the way I feel about... Never mind.. but if this baby is my I have to get decision.. also my family wants me to settle down.. and I know Jenifer will be Change after this.. and it's about baby.. and I am happy.. and I am willing to do it.. " he said to me.. and i smile at him..
" I am so proud of you Shawn.. I wish you will be best husband and be a best father in the world.." I told him.. and I got up to my site and site in he's lap and hug him rightly..
It's the last time.. the last time we are going to close like this.. after that we both going to be part away.. and we go over own way..
We both h broke hug.. and looking at each other. He looking at me full of love I know how he feels about me.. but it's for our own good..
" Can I.. one last time.." i know what he want.. and I didn't said anything.. and I kissed me.. and he kissed me back..
The kiss is to slow and passionate.. he showing me how I am mean to him.. and I did it same to him.. I know it's totally our last kiss.. after that we both are never be the same.. and he have to forget me and move on with the new life.. so did I.. we both have to let go each other and move on.. I know it's hard to him.. I feel the way he kiss me.. I feel it the way he kiss me.. I feel sad to him.. but also happy to him that he agreed with it.. and I give him best my goodbye kiss so he will remember me but as friend..
We both part away. And our head touch each other I still setting in he's lap.. he also don't want to let me go.. he tightly holding my waist.. i smile he's possessiveness..
I open my eyes look at him I see that he already looking at me.. and than he kiss my nose.. I will miss this..
" I will Miss this too.." damn.. I laugh when he did..
" I think we have to go.. our family Totally looking for us ." He said to me.. and I nodded with my head. And I get of to he's lap.. and than pay to our coffee.. whom I didn't even touch it.. damn me..
We both walk to the join everyone.. our hand already filled to each other.. we don't want to part away but I know it will end it now.. and we have to do this.. and than one last time we both look at each other. And kiss my forehead and walk to the Jenifer.. and I smile at him.. it is good of us.. to our family..
I don't want to spoiled Jennifer's life.. I don't know what type of that girl is but if she really love Shawn than I made good decision..
I look at them.. Shawn join her and she suprise little bit.. bus after that they both are bussy in there own world.. I hope they both go goes to last long..
In all this time I didn't see that when draw come and stood besides me. And observing me.. I look at him.. and my mood change.. thinking about earlier incidence...
" I am sorry..." Before I ignore him he said to me.. I stood up and look at him..
" I know it's my fault.. and I am sorry.. " he said to me.. and I don't know what to said.. it's not he's fault it's my.. and I know I overreacted.. and blem him all of him.. and didn't say anything.. I nodded with my head.. and join the hazz. She look at me. And than look around I know she know everything and I just rolled my eyes.. that girl is totally girly.. what Happened to my old one.. she never like this in past life..
Dinner goes well.. in all time I wan zone out.. all are talking about marriage and all.. and I just eat my food.. and Ignore all of this.. the food is delicious.. the best thing is like about this dinner...
" You are in Bella.." hazz said suddenly.. I didn't even know what they are talking about..
" What about tomorrow the pool party.. all of us and whole football team also joining us.. " she said to me.. and I just nodded with my head.. i don't mind about party.. but I feel sad that she can't drink in all this fun.. and sometimes she is regret all of this.. and I also joke about it.. which she mad about it..
" Bella.." Stella come to me and my than smile come to my face.. my mood change.. kids.. they made me feel alive.. Is that what I want.. kids..
I smile at her and pull her to my lap and than feed her food with my own hand. and she also feed me.. and it's best dinner and Time ever I had feel happy..
After that we all are said goodnight to each other.. Bobby come to me to took stella.. when they left gray come to me.. hug me and wish me good night.. and than we all are go to our own room..
When I reach my room.. it's already unlocked.. who's in there.. when I enter I see that hazz already setting there and waiting for me.. damn this girl.. I thought she forget.. but whom I talk it's hazz..
" So tell me..." She said to me. And I jump on bed site besides her..
" What you want to know.." i ask her.. and she give me look and I rolled my eyes and nodded with my head..
" Fine.. Jennifer is pregnant.." I told her.. and her eyes and mouth wild open and her both hands end in her mouth with shock..
" Yeahh.. and I am still confused about it.. so we both made decision and it's over.. and I am happy for him.. and also happy the away it's end. I already feel guilty because of that mystery men." i said to her and smile.. and she still looking at me like how my life is lonely and all.. I know she always feel like this.. but I don't care about it.. I am happy.. and I don't need anyone..
" I know Alex told me about how there hook up.. but I never thought that they ended up like this.." she said to me..
" Well no one know this.. even you also know that you will ended up like this.. and getting pregnant before marriage.." I told her.. and she also think about it after that didn't said anything..
" So what's now.. " she ask me I know she want to know..
" I am looking at for that guy.. who unknown to me but still it feel like I know me.. still I can't get over this to him. he make me frustrated." I told her.. and she nodded..
" Well I hope all goes well.. I want you to be happy bell.. I just can't see you like this.. everyone is settle down.. " she said and I know I also feel like this.. but still I think that it's to early..
" Relax I will one day.." i told her.. and she hug me tightly and I did to..
" Relax hazz. I am totally fine.. don't feel pity on me.." I told her..
" I know bell.. but I just want to said that your my best friend.. and I love you so much.." she said. And I laugh at her..
" I love you so much hazz.." i told her.. and we both are pull away..
" So tell me that why you think like that boy look familiar to you.." and that the question and don't want to answer it now before I confirm it..
" Why can't you just wait and see to your own eyes.." I told her and she give me look like I know she didn't like this but I don't want to give any sine.. plus I know how she act when I told about him.. so better be not to tell her.