End of the dream

I walked into my small apartment rethinking my life now that i Think about it it has been 22 years since I moved to los angeles i was 18 and like all the wannabes.

I wanted to be a star and 22 years later at aged 40 except for small parts and working as extra I haven't had a breakthrough.

22 years of working different jobs without much stability because of this did not even had chance to marry.

I grew up living i different foster homes without knowing my parents when i graduated from highschool I like many searching for recognition and fame went to Hollywood but due to not having connection and training.

I struggled for many years but failed due to my high expectations and low talent.

I wanted roles that I didn't have ability to fulfill and refused to play roles I was capable of because of this my agent dropped me and no one hired me.

When I finally come around it was already to late as now I had already been blacklisted from alot of places but despite that I tried to get back by doing multiple jobs to save money for acting training.

After receiving training I started to play small parts and extra for tv shows and movies without substantial impact and we are today 2018 at the day of my 40th birthday alone coming back from another failed audition.

I let out a tired sigh as I have wasted most my life chasing after something that was not meant for me.

I look under my bed to count my savings I haved saved almost 25 thousand dollars after years of struggle not alot but enough for me to open a shop.

I plan to open i costume shop as I have made known people who make props from my time in the industry for movies who can help me with the costumes.

So after 22 years at age 40 I have finally decided to give up with this thought i lay down on my bed and my mind drift in to darkness.