Naruto (3) [3]

Now, I admit I didn't really need to look up anything about Kakashi Hatake. The possibility of an alternate universe' differences aside, I had both my own knowledge of the Naruto World and Sasuke's memories helping me. I knew what the true purpose of the Bell Test is, namely teamwork even under dire circumstances, and how to push all of Kakashi's buttons.

Though I didn't plan to use spoilers from Icha Icha as a trap. Mostly because it would give people a wrong impression of me, but also because I wasn't the one who spent a few years correcting the author's drafts.

"And before you ask: no, I don't read that trash." Sasuke harshly rebuked the unspoken question I totally wasn't going to make.

"What an oddly specific denial."

"Oh, fuck off."

Anyway, there was a very big reason why I couldn't just skip the investigation and straight-up use my knowledge of canon Naruto: because the Sasuke of this time period wasn't supposed to have it. As my broody head-guest was so fond of reminding me, I was currently living in a society where being paranoid is required to be considered sane.

Kakashi and Gai are not considered insane, merely 'quirky'. Let that sink in.

The point is, I needed a valid reason to justify me possessing such knowledge. Hence the need for a proper investigation.

First, I exploited the fact human beings are social animals and the instinctive favoritism shown to those who are closer to us by having Naruko ask Iruka a few questions about Team Seven's new Jounin-sensei, included which other teams he taught in the past.

That naturally led to the reveal Kakashi failed all of his previous Genin teams, something that greatly demoralized Hinata and even affected Naruko. A few carefully chosen words to spark the blonde's stubborn streak took care of it, since I knew Hinata was deeply affected by Naruko's personality.

With a few names on hand, some of them provided by Iruka and the rest pilfered by the Academy's archives (good thing paperwork remained soul-crushing even for Shinobi), we started conducting some 'interviews'.

"THAT MOTHERFUCKER KEPT READING FUCKING PORN DURING THE WHOLE TEST!"

Which I have to skip over, because holy fuck Kakashi has a knack for pissing off people.

Most of Kakashi's ex-prospective students were Genin, having passed after being assigned to another Jounin-sensei, and a few were already Chuunin. Only a very small minority dropped out of the Academy, and they all left Konoha a few years later. Those that remained retained a very strong memory of Kakashi's exam, which was always the Bell Test, and an equally strong negative view of said cyclops.

"So, no matter if we win or not, one of us will be forced to go back to the Academy?" Naruko pouted before throwing her arms in the air. "That's not fair!"

"I don't think it's as simple as that." I said, making a show of thinking deeply. "Kakashi-san said the failure rate of his test is 66%, so two-thirds. But this explanation about the bell test implies an one-third failure rate."

"Uh?" The blonde eloquently replied while tilting her head to the side. At least Hinata seemed to get it, understanding quirky worming its way into her pale eyes: despite seeing them in real life they were not freaky to look at, but exotic and fascinating.

"It means, Naruko, that either Kakashi-san is going to use a different test, which would be strange since he always used the same one in the past, or he purposely gave us contradicting information to conceal his real intentions. Also, it's customary for Genin to start their career in three-man teams, with a Jounin teaching them. I know at least that much." I rubbed my chin. "Moreover, even holding back he remains a top-tier Jounin, he's so far above us it's not even funny. I very much doubt we're able to snatch a bell when alone, but we may have a chance by working together. We can worry about Kakashi-san's true intentions after passing his test."

"So one step at a time? I like it!" Naruko punched her palm.

"Excuse me..." Hinata shyly began. "We just got put into the same team. Can we really... fight well together? Without prior experience?"

"Good point Hinata-san. We don't have the time to get great at it, but we can at least give it a good try." I replied before looking up at the sun's position. The yellow disk had already started to set, leaving only one or two more hours of daylight left. Naruko may be a Chakra and stamina monster, but Hinata and I weren't so lucky. Also, missing proper rest was detrimental to anyone who still needed sleep like us poor mortals.

"In my humble opinion sleeping is a blessing. Imagine having nothing to do during the night." Rin said.

Very insightful. Also, dreams are nice. Putting that aside, I still had a test to ace tomorrow. "We're done everything we can for today. There should still be some Bingo Books among my clan's possessions, I'll see if they say something new about Kakashi-san."

"And I'll ask Jiji about him during dinner!" Naruko offered a thumb-up. A nice idea, though I doubt the Hokage would offer much help: he's the leader of the whole village, he can't let unprepared students graduate.

"In that case let's retire for today and meet on training ground seven tomorrow. Oh, and since Kakashi-san just 'suggested' it means it's not an order, so make sure to have a filling breakfast. Our bodies need the energy."

We then split up, but before Naruko could get away I stopped her. "One moment Naruko." I briefly looked around, mostly to tell the blonde I was about to voice a private topic, before addressing her with a low tone of voice. "I assume you returned the scroll to the Hokage?"

"Yeah: Jiji scolded me for a full hour and even made me clean the place where he bled all over. It's not my fault he's a pervert." The blonde pouted. "Why?"

"We Uchiha all have a very good memory." Technically true, though the true eidetic stuff needed an active Sharingan. Which I had. "Tell me, what do you know of your Uzumaki parentage?"

"Just what Karin-chan told me: we used to be a clan and even had our own shinobi village, but it got destroyed before me and her were born by a coalition of other villages." She pouted, sadness filling her beautiful blue eyes. "This sucks."

"I know. Believe me, I know." I frowned before taking out a small scroll from my satchel. "While I was reading the scroll I happened upon some techniques created by the Uzumaki clan. Most of them were too complicated, but I managed to memorize one."

I gave the scroll to Naruko. "As an Uzumaki this is yours by right of inheritance. I hope it will be useful to you."

"A new technique?!" She exclaimed excitedly. She quickly opened the scroll and read it. "Adamantine Sealing Chains... Create chains out of pure chakra?"

"Chains, along with wires, are powerful versatile tools. The chains made with that technique are made to bind even powerful opponents by sealing their chakra." I explained. "Well, how you use it is up to you."

"Sealing their chakra... meaning they cannot use techniques or reinforce their bodies..." Naruko began to mutter under her breath, a sly smile slowly worming its way on her face. A smile that promised untold mischief and suffering to the target of said mischief. "Meaning they cannot escape the chains... eh eh eh!"

I karate-chopped her atop the head. "Not using ancestral family techniques for pranks."

"Oh come on! Where is the fun in that?!"

Forget about romancing Naruko, first I needed to act as her fucking father.

====

There were no special or last minute preparations I had to do, so I spent the evening and the night before the exam meditating to get more used to my body's chakra and resting. Meanwhile the Gang (minus Tsuna, Riku and Issei, who were still on an expedition) kept coming up with theoretical scenarios for the Bell Test and offering suggestions.

"Offer Scarecrow the Uchiha's secret stash of exclusive porn magazines!"

"There is no such thing!"

"But does he know that?"

I ignored the majority and paid attention to the only few worthwhile ideas. By all the gods out there and the Otsutsuki Brothers, it was like consulting a web page full of ads and spam: 1/10 rating, do not recommend.

Ranma laughed. "You know you love us."

'Do not push your luck.' I replied in a fake threatening tone.

I woke up at 6am and prepared a simple but filling breakfast, using ingredients which I could digest quickly. Then I packed some snacks for later too, just in case Kakashi decided to delay beyond what I was expecting: the ninja equivalent of granola bars, though they did not call them that.

Emergency food and ninja tools ready I wore my uniform and left for Training Ground Seven, arriving just five minutes before 7am. Seeing I was the first to arrive (discounting the possibility of Kakashi hiding nearby to observe) I took a small detour to look at the Memorial Stone: seeing all those names, and knowing each and every one of those people died in service to the village, hit me once again with the realization I was living in a very dangerous world. Not because of some natural characteristic like dangerous beasts or harsh climates, but because man fought against man for a myriad of reasons.

To make a comparison, this was the Cold War period that followed WW2. Something I only read about in books and never dreamed I would one day experience.

"It's not so bad. Definitely better than my own world." Killua objected. "Here you don't have large landmasses that are cordoned off because they're populated by extinction-level beasts."

My mind went back to the Chimera Ants: the anime suggested there were even more dangerous creatures... Scary.

"Bah! Peace just breeds weakness!" Laharl scoffed. "In the Netherworld there is always conflict, and that makes sure my subjects keep their skills sharp!"

"People in your world can be resurrected with a paltry price, Aoi Ahoge (Blue Foolish Hair). Not everyone is so lucky." I stifled a snort of amusement at Ranma's nickname for Laharl. Simple, but true. "Still, I partially agree with you: without challenges skills tend to decay, just like a knife rusts if nobody cares for it."

"Hrmph, the ninja world is like this because of humankind's inherent nature." Sasuke grumbled. "For some, the current state of affairs is convenient. Others are trapped in a cage of their own making, unable to see beyond their grievances or sorrow. I know, because I went through the same thing."

My eyes found a certain name of the Stone: Obito Uchiha. Knowing what I did I could see history repeating itself more than once, pure intentions being corrupted by circumstances and the desire to break the cursed cycle of revenge leading to extreme methods... It suddenly dawned on me that a good part of Naruto's success was due to luck, or the author in the manga's case.

"I may sound like a hypocrite, but you shouldn't rely on luck Lee." I heard Rito scratching his head. "You have foreknowledge and useful abilities, not to mention you're in a position where your decisions can matter early. That and proper planning should carry you through pretty much anything."

'Yes, you're right: I should be more confident.' After all I wasn't alone, and for me that counted as the greatest blessing. It didn't help that my friends were some of the more badass, and quirkier, people in existence.

"That description doesn't really apply to me, but thank you Lee."

I clapped my hands and bowed, showing respect to the Memorial Stone in case Kakashi was watching, and then walked to the entrance of the Training Ground. Which... was just a signboard with the ground's name and number. It didn't have walls or trimmed bushes to define the borders, but I spotted the three wooden stumps on which Naruko was supposed to get tied to. Well, her male counterpart at least.

Knowing Kakashi was going to be late I sat down on a conveniently placed fallen tree trunk, just in time for Hinata to show up precisely on time. "Good morning, Hinata-san." I greeted her with a neutral but not unfriendly tone. Still more vocal than canon Sasuke, but baby steps were necessary to make the change believable.

"H-Hello, Sasuke-kun." She stammered slightly, though less than yesterday, and took her seat on the opposite side of the trunk. "Is... Is Naruko-chan not here yet?"

"I haven't seen her yet." I blinked and folded my fingers together, resting the elbows on my knees. "But considering she's capable of being stealthy despite wearing bright orange, maybe she's already here and watching us?"

Hinata eep'ed and looked around wildly, eyes wide and cheeks pink in embarrassment.

"Then again, she is also boisterous and loud so maybe not?" I shrugged, mentally grinning at the teasing I inflicted on the pale-skinned girl.

"So those internet forums were right, some guys really feel the need to tease the girl they like." Rin commented intrigued. "And here I thought pigtail pulling was just a myth."

"I saw it happen, except it ended with the guy gaining a black eye." Minato paused. "That was one of the weirdest couples that formed in highschool."

"What the hell are you, middle-aged women? Move that shit elsewhere, I need to concentrate here." Sasuke protested.

Well, at least I didn't need to worry about getting bored.

Naruko arrived ten minutes later, and immediately launched into an explanation of all the ways she thought to fight Kakashi. It was very long, to the point I wondered if she slept at all last night, and very, very creative.

"-So if he tosses nails at me I'll parry them with a branch, then kicks him in the jewels! After that-"

Seriously, what did she think a fight between Ninja was?!

"I met someone who fought with nails!"

You don't count Ranma!

Two hours passed, with the blonde talking for all three of us, before Kakashi finally decided to show up. He looked as he woke up late and with all the time in the world to prepare, the bastard. "Hey guys, good morning!"

"You're late!" Naruko roared, pointing at the older ninja in obvious anger. I didn't say anything, but my pointed look conveyed the same feelings as the blonde.

Masterfully ignoring our reactions Kakashi made us stand up in a line, then gave his usual speech explaining the Bell Test. Though he looked vaguely disappointed when we didn't react to the 'no lunch to losers' part, and I allowed myself a small mental smirk of superiority.

"You won't succeed unless you come at me with the intention to kill." The cyclops stated matter-of-factly. Funny thing, he sounded more ominous when he threatened to send us back to the Academy. He attacked the two small bells to a button of his jacket. "Fail this test and none of you will be a Genin. Ok, let's get going. Ready... Start."

I did the appropriate thing and jumped away to hide. Then I had to go back and bodily drag Naruko under cover so I could discuss our tactics with her and Hinata.

====

Kakashi's POV

The masked Jounin faintly hummed in approval when Sasuke forced Naruko to hide together with him and Hinata, then lead the group deeper inside the forest. Far enough to communicate without giving away their location, but still able to react in time if he decided to pursue them. Not that he would.

He pulled out a thin, gray volume and squatted down to read, deliberately putting his back to the Genin's hiding place.

After all, he was still in the middle of Icha Icha Paraside's third chapter. He had finished and restarted the book two times already, and every time it gifted him with a completely new experience: Jiraiya-sama was truly an unmatched genius, it was a pity the man couldn't fully dedicate himself to his literary career.

Still, Kakashi was pleasantly surprised by the fact Sasuke Uchiha didn't quite fit the profile he made of the boy beforehand. He knew why the Hokage wanted the boy on his team, the reason was both obvious and hard to disagree with: as the sole loyal Konoha Ninja with a Sharingan, Kakashi was the only one capable of teaching the boy how to use one of the village's most prized and powerful Bloodlines. The fall of the Uchiha Clan hit Konoha harder than they were willing to show the rest of the world, and it only exacerbated the problems caused by the Kyuubi Incident.

The fact that the boy had been orphaned at a young age, was considered a prodigy and was far too serious for his own good were simply coincidences. That, or proof God has a very nasty sense of humor.

But the latter wasn't quite true anymore, was it? Since he first met him in person the Uchiha boy had been more friendly and open compared to his time at the Academy, even if his personality remained mostly introspective. Looking at it from a ninja's perspective it became clear Sasuke played the part of the perfect honor student for most of his scholastic career, and the reason was, in hindsight, obvious: there were many factions within Konoha that would like nothing more than to take the young scion under their wings, and not all of them had been friends with the late Uchiha. Even the smallest hint that Sasuke was not perfectly fine on his own would have given those factions an excuse to demand custody of the boy, something that the Hokage was rightfully opposed to unless there was no other choice.

Of course, Kakashi couldn't refute the fact that the death of his entire family and his older brother's betrayal hit Sasuke hard, but to the Jounin's great relief the boy's spirit was stronger than expected. And now, as a Genin, he was an adult and thus protected by the law: Kakashi didn't care much about politics, but he wasn't unaware of them and knew how to play by their rules.

But as far as Kakashi was concerned politics were just something to acknowledge existed, not a factor to take into active consideration. He was here to test if the members of the recently made Team Seven had the necessary qualities to be Shinobi, not help them with their private lives. Well, unless they asked, even if he was the first to admit his advice regarding topics outside the Shinobi World weren't very good.

Kakashi scratched his chin, old but still painful memories bubbling to the surface of his mind at the reminder of the team's number. If Sasuke was Kakashi, hopefully a more well-adjusted version, he supposed that would make Naruko Obito, and Hinata Rin. The resemblance was there, even if only at a first glance. By contrast, Kakashi being Namikaze Minato was a ludicrous proposal: the cyclops had no hope of matching the Fourth Hokage as a ninja or as a teacher. Still, he was going to do his very best: hopefully that would be enough.

If the brats passed he was totally going to introduce Sasuke to the Icha Icha series: the boy would need the experience and wisdom if he really planned to repopulate the whole Uchiha Clan by himself. Not to mention such an obviously kindred spirit deserved to be nurtured.

A cloud passed over the sun, casting its shadow over the whole clearing. At that moment a group of twelve Naruko burst out of the bushes and surrounded Kakashi: the cyclops was mildly surprised the young Genin had enough chakra to make eleven Shadow Clones, Uzumaki vitality and Kyuubi chakra notwithstanding. He stood up, but didn't look away from the book. "Do you need a lesson in Taijutsu?" Kakashi asked, noting the lack of weapons in the blonde's hands.

Instead of answering a few Clones grinned victoriously before all of them rushed Kakashi. The ring of bodies surrounding him was full of holes the Jounin could have used to escape or force the Clones into hindering each other's progress, but he didn't move a muscle. Instead he observed the blonde's movements, noting she seemingly mixed the Academy's standard Taijutsu style with a brawler's: nothing fancy, but with some polishing and a more intelligent of Shadow Clones it should be effective against most unprepared Shinobi. Though from the corner of his eyes he caught a glimpse of a Clone preparing an open-hand strike...

...While taking a stance from the Hyuuga's Gentle Fist Style.

Kakashi took a step back, grabbing the blonde's extended arm without turning his head and tossing her to the Clones approaching from the front. Three of them caught the flailing girl, a burst of smoke revealing a startled Hinata. "Taking Naruko-chan's appearance and pretending to be a Shadow Clone was a good idea."

With a sweeping kick he dispelled four other copies, the fifth aborting her attack to parry the kick with her crossed forearms. Another burst of smoke, and the one blocking the kick was another Hinata. "And so was pretending the Henge failed, while in reality you used it to take Hinata's appearance the moment you were caught."

In truth it was very good. Nothing fancy, just a clever application of smoke and mirrors to trick Kakashi into focusing in a specific direction, creating an opening for Hinata to disable him. However, creativity and improvisation were the first weapons of any Shinobi worth their names. Kakashi only noticed the trick because Naruko's Gentle Fist stance was subpar, something which didn't make sense considering Hinata was the heiress and thus subjected to very high standards.

The seven remaining copies and Hinata retreated back a few feet. One of the blondes showed a reassuring grin and a thumb-up to Hinata, who gulped nervously before nodding and-making the seal for the Shadow Clone Jutsu?

The multiple Naruko also made the same seal. Smoke produced from excess chakra erupted from all of them, creating a curtain that completely encircled Kakashi. "You're just wasting chakra-" The cyclops began, but stopped when his nose twitched. Quickly putting away the book he made a handseal. "Kai!"

The smoke from the Genjutsu vanished, revealing the hail of kunai and shuriken thrown by the seven blondes and Hinata. Kakashi let the ones thrown from behind his back just a few moments before hit him, only to use the Kawarimi and replace his body with a nearby log. The Jounin reappeared on a branch above Sasuke, who dropped the Henge while attacking him from behind. "You gave the smoke the wrong smell by purpose so I would notice and dispel the Genjutsu without moving." He calmly said to the black-haired boy, who didn't even look up. "Who taught you?"

"Almost all of my relatives were Shinobi." Sasuke replied evenly without moving a muscle, as if knowing Kakashi would instantly try to avoid locking eyes with him.

Of course. Of course the little brother of Itachi would also be precocious when it comes to the Ninja Arts. How could Kakashi expect anything else? The little brat hid his real skills for years, all for the sake of having more trump cards up his sleeve.

Also, that smugness was so Uchiha it hurt.

Suddenly Sasuke clenched his still extended hand and pulled down, manipulating the hidden wires he placed all around him. Kakashi easily jumped away, landing back on the clearing and in front of—

Several dozens of aged-up Naruko, Hinata and other girls from the class, along with more busty Anko?! All of them naked !!?

"Kakashi-chan, please~" "Don't be mean~" "We want to play with your 'bells'~"

====

Back to Lee's POV

"I can't believe you let her do that." Sasuke was close to openly sobbing, while the others were laughing their ass off so loudly I almost didn't hear my own thoughts.

Yeah, I told Naruko to use the Sexy Harem no Jutsu. Or, more accurately, I agreed to let her use it when she suggested its use during our planning session: I knew it would affect Kakashi, and this was a test between fellow Konoha ninja so why not?

"Because it's embarrassing!"

Well, yes. But it was also funny as hell so totally worth it. With that said, I also suggested several add-ons to the strategy: Hinata and myself would use Henge again to disguise ourselves among the clones, taking advantage of Kakashi's shock to hit him with Genjutsu and chakra-disabling strikes; followed by the Naruko Clones swarming him to grab the bells. The pale-skinned girl performed her own role admirably well despite a blush so intense I could feel the temperature rising around her.

In the end we still lost of course: Kakashi was an Elite Jounin, while we were just Genin fresh out of the Academy and I couldn't use my most cheating abilities. Still, we provided Kakashi a much better show than canon Team Seven.

Maybe that's why, once the time allowed ended, he tied all three of us to the wooden stumps. "You brats-" the Jounin's sole visible eye was bloodshot. "-are terrible."

"You told us to come at you with the intention to kill." I answered matter-of-factly, fighting a losing battle to keep a shit-eating grin from showing up on my face. "Not our fault you didn't specify your mind was off limits."

"Yeah!" Naruko added loudly. Hinata was silent, still blushing heavily. "Don't try to place the blame on us just because you're a huge pervert! I saw your nose bleeding! You're just like Iruka-sensei and Jiji!"

"Say the one transforming into naked copies of her classmates."

"Those are fakes so it doesn't count!"

That was a leap of logic so wide I wasn't sure I could follow it. As expected of Naruto Uzumaki.

"A genderbent, alternate version of him."

'Same thing.'

Kakashi rubbed the space between his eyebrows, clearly fed up with us and today in general. "It doesn't change the fact none of you managed to get a bell. That's why..." Kakashi said with a grave, hard tone which made Naruko gulp.

Then he faintly smiled under the mask. "Congratulations. You three, all of you, pass."

"Uh?" The blonde looked suspiciously at the cyclops. "Is this a trick?"

"It's not a trick. You really passed." Kakashi raised the two bells and made them gingle. "Ninja have to look underneath the underneath. The true purpose of the test was to test your teamwork under harrowing conditions, like a goal that requires someone to sacrifice something and gain nothing."

"So I was right." I grinned. "The bells were just a red herring. That's why the information you gave us was contradictory on a second glance: this is not a test that can be passed while blindly following orders."

"Not a bad conclusion." Kakashi crossed his arms. "There is a certain philosophy I follow: Ninja who don't follow the rules are trash, but Ninja who don't take care of their comrades are worse than trash."

Some times, life will put before you a choice: what you want and those you hold dear. A free individual has the ability to make a third choice, but by their very nature Shinobi need to place the Village above their desires. Thus, the life of a Shinobi is one of difficult choices and sacrifice.

A sobering thought. Yet, it was a lifestyle that deserves respect. In that moment I swore to always remember the sacrifices of those that came before me, while working towards a better world where people don't need to suffer like that anymore.

"How optimistic." Sasuke commented. "But what the hell, doing nothing would be worse and you're the most qualified person in this world. I'm willing to give it a try."

'Ah, Sasuke.' I mentally grinned. 'Never honest with yourself, are you? I guess that's why girls found you cute.'

"On second thought, please jump in a hole and die."

====

After the test ended and Kakashi confirmed our promotion as Genin we all went our own ways, with a promise to meet tomorrow morning at the same spot before taking Team Seven's first mission.

"It will consist of removing weeds from a garden. Without tools." Sasuke helpfully informed me.

Oh. Well, at least it will be easy. 'What about Tora?'

"The fucking cat? I eventually learned he was the last in a long series of 'Tora': the Daimyo's wife, Lady Shijimi, was long-sighted."

I snorted, uncaring of whoever may see me. 'You mean, she kept mistaking different cats for Tora? Is that why it had a ribbon on the left ear? To recognize it?'

"No, so her servants could pretend a random cat was Tora if they failed to recover the current one. I heard it caused quite a scandal when the truth came out."

Damn, that was hilarious. I was definitely going to watch when it happened here, since I wasn't going to desert Konoha I should be able to get assigned to the Capital or earn enough free time- "Mh?" I hummed, my previous train of thought coming to an halt when I spotted a familiar mane of pink hair approaching.

"H-Hello, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura Haruno, future wife of Sasuke Uchiha and all-around badass, energetically greeted me. I noticed her outfit looked tussled, as if she went through a brawl. Or a Genin Test.

"Sakura-san." I nodded back. Uhm, maybe this will be a chance to plant the seeds for Sakura's future? "I take your own Jounin-sensei also put your Team through the paces?"

"Yes, Kurenai-sensei insisted to see everything we can do." She looked away and scratched her cheek. "And... she has high standards."

Meaning, she probably had words about Sakura's lack of training focus. "Still, you passed right? Just like me. Congratulations."

"Yes! Thank you Sasuke-kun!" She perked up again. "I had no doubts you would pass! I hope Naruko wasn't too much of a hindrance?"

"Very little, you just need to word things in the right way." I scoffed in amusement, then pretended to think about something. "Say, would you like to have tea together at my house? There's something I need to talk about with you."

I waited, but received no response. Embarrassingly enough it took me a dozen seconds to realize Sakura fainted while standing and with her eyes open.

====

Some time later Sakura and I were seated within my modest living room, a hot pot of tea and two full cups between us. By the time I drank half of mine Sakura had yet to touch her own, looking like she was in a dream she didn't want to wake up from. Despite pinching herself several times, I might add.

"Sakura-san. May I have your attention please?" I said, making her jolt and stand up straighter than a utility pole.

"Yes. Anything you desire, Sasuke-kun." Sakura replied with a dreamy voice, though there was an underline of something... hungry in her tone. And her gaze was very focused on me. "Anything."

"Yeah, I'm leaving the two of you alone." Sasuke groaned, likely suspecting the same thing as me. What a helpful and supporting guy. "Heard that? Give Lee some privacy."

"As much as he can have privacy with us literally being in his head, but alright." Ranma answered. "Remember Lee: shotgun weddings are not a nice thing."

'Thank you Sasuke. I'll keep that in mind Ranma.' I waited a few seconds to make sure the Gang went to amuse themselves with trash food and games before addressing Sakura again. "For now, please hear me out Sakura-san."

I thought about assuming the Gendo pose, but settled for just keeping my hands around the cup. "I never reciprocated the attention from you and the other girls in our class, instead concentrating fully on my studies and training. This was a deliberate decision on my part due to many reasons, some of which are political: as you know I'm the last member of the Uchiha Clan, but as long as I was a minor I had no say or legitimate claim on my family's remaining assets. Thus, to preserve my clan's legacy I needed to avoid giving people who have no good intentions towards me -and I assure you, the amount of those is higher than you can imagine- an excuse to take advantage of me and get their hands on my family's assets. This meant being a perfect, self-sufficient honor student, at least until I became a Genin and was thus legally recognized as an adult. Do you get it?"

"I... Yes, Sasuke-kun. On an abstract level, but I do." Sakura answered slowly, the maniac energy in her eyes partially replaced by the sharp intelligence I knew resided in that cute little noggin. "So the rumors... aren't true?"

"Which rumors? The ones I don't follow?" I rolled my eyes. "Let's see, someone think I'm gay? I'm almost sure I'm not, and I use 'almost' because I'm twelve, inexperienced and puberty is just kicking in. Ninja grow up faster than civilians, but there's a limit to that."

She blushed heavily at my words, yet her breathing quickened and the glint in her eyes told me she was having less than pure thoughts. That was a cute side of Sakura I hoped to see more.

"How about me being 'silent', 'cool', 'stuck-up' or 'snobby'? Again, I needed to be a perfect honor student: I'm a little introspective yes, but in the sense I choose my words with care and like to think, and I'm not very sociable, again in the sense I am not able to become instant friends with everyone I meet." I continued. "But that doesn't mean I cannot observe others. And I have observed everyone in our class for a very long time: especially you, Sakura."

Her breath hitched, both from the confession and my use of her name without honorifics.

"Now the reason for this is, again, complex: like I said I am the last living member of the Uchiha Clan, beside a certain man you'll surely learn of in the future but I don't want to talk about right now. I have both the desire and an obligation to restore my Clan to its former greatness, but I'm a single man. Even if I make a family it would not be a Clan." I looked down into my tea. "So, like the founders of many Clans before me, I plan to take multiple spouses and leave behind a large lineage. And to avoid what happened to my family I plan to only accept skilled and dedicated Kunoichi. I just don't wish to lose any more loved ones."

No verbal response. Was Sakura the sharing type? Time to find out. "I'm telling you this because you, Sakura, are gifted: it's something of a natural talent of mine to see the potential of others, and yours is big enough to put you above most clan children. There's your intelligence of course, but also your impressive chakra control which makes you able to master both Medical Jutsu and Genjutsu: I know your Sensei is gifted in the latter, you should definitely learn everything she can teach you. Sometimes, to get what you truly want in life you need to put aside your current desires: that's what I did, because nothing I want means anything if I'm not strong enough to seize it and stay alive. I hope my words will serve as inspiration to you, Sakura."

A few minutes passed in comfortable silence, with both me and Sakura slowly sipping tea and refilling our cups when they were empty. The pink-haired girl was deep in thought, a look of utter seriousness on her face that reminded me of her Shippuden version: whatever was going within her mind was potentially life-changing, so I gave her all the time she needed.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun." Sakura eventually said, a demure smile on her pretty lips. "For your words of encouragement and the trust you have in me. I promise that I will do my best to become someone worthy of standing by your side."

She began to fidget, though that hungry feeling of before was back. "That's why... Can you, uhm, close your eyes? There's something I want to give you."

A spark of curiosity filled me at those words. Despite my previous words I had experience with the fairer sex, and it made me wonder if Sakura was bold enough to go through with what I suspected. Then again, I would be lying if I said that was not something I encouraged.

So I obliged her, slightly pulling back my chair and shutting my eyes. I could hear Sakura moving in front of me, her hands laying itself on my cheeks as she tilted my head towards her-

-before her soft, cool lips pressed against mine in a kiss. Wow, she was bold enough: I definitely appreciated it. Placing my hands on her sides I pulled Sakura closer, silencing her squeals as I kissed her back, claiming her lips. The pinkette went still for a good second before melting into the kiss, shivering against my lips and tipping her head back slightly. The kiss dragged out for several long seconds, our lips intensely meshing together as we made out like, well, awkward teenagers.

Which we were. Sakura in truth, and me in spirit. Not that I gave a single fuck about it at the moment.

Eventually we had to split apart to  breath. Sakura gazed at me in surprise, shocked hope in her eyes of her feelings being reciprocated. I smiled and slipped a hand up to her cheek, stroking it. "I received your feelings, Sakura. Thank you. We can't go all the way today, but-"

"No! I-I understand Sasuke-kun! We're Shinobi first and foremost." Her face turned so red it resembled a tomato, yet the sheer happiness radiating from her made Sakura even more beautiful. "But, uhm, there's one last thing I want to do for you, to show you how seriously I'm taking this. Can I...?"

"Of course." I replied, genuinely curious. It quickly turned to amazement when Sakura knelt down in front of me, one hand rubbing my swelling cock through the pants. With some hesitation she pulled them down, freeing my erection.

Sakura squeaked, gazing at my swollen dick in awe for a good few seconds before remembering where we were, her embarrassment returning full-force as she curled her fingers around my dick. The softness and suppleness of her hand felt wonderful on my cock, as if she was wearing a silk glove. "Where did you... learn about this?" I asked.

She blushed even harder. "During a sleepover, Mito and Ino secretly bought a few... books we weren't supposed to have, let alone read."

Thank you, Ino Yamanaka and Mito Hyakutake. This Lee is forever grateful for your lewdness!

Sakura brushed her lips against the tip, then smooched it with a kiss. It was awkward, yes, but so earnest and arousing it looped back to being sexy. I released a lusty groan, the pinkette shivering at the sound. She followed it up with a barrage of loving kisses, pecking the tip of my cock in rapid succession before slipping her tongue out, curiously licking at the tip. Her inexperience was clear but she did her best, earnestly lapping at my dick in an attempt to make me feel good.

It was working. Very well at that.

At the same time her hand began to stroke my cock, sliding up to near the tip before going back down to the base; each long stroke sending quivering bolts of warmth up my shaft. Her tongue curled around the tip, getting it nice and wet, before boldly taking me inside her mouth. The warm wetness felt so good I unabashedly groaned in pleasure, hot shivers racing through my whole body. Seeing Sakura Haruno of all people giving me something so lewd as a blowjob heightened my libido, emptying my mind and leaving only the raw desire to release all my lust down her throat.

What a terrifying test to my self-control. I closed my eyes and leaned back on the chair, laying a hand on Sakura's head to lovingly stroke it. She hummed in appreciation, the vibrations of her throat moving through my dick feeling incredibly good. Sakura moved her head up and down several times, finding a rhythm and a deepness she felt comfortable with, before sliding her wet lips all the way back to the tip, revealing my shaft coated in her glistening saliva. I caught a glint of amusement and pride in her gaze before she went back to blowing me, her lips audibly slurping with growing intensity and worsening the hot throb that echoed along my girth. I suddenly felt a growing pressure starting in my balls and moving up my cock, the urge to blow my load becoming more and more inviting.

"Sakura!" I gritted my teeth, holding back long enough to give the pink-haired girl a warning. It was part of basic bedroom etiquette, after all. "I'm! About to-!"

Her eyes widened in understanding, before closing again to focus back on her ministrations. She tilted and bobbed her head as she worked to fuel the throbbing warmth within me, all the while mewling cutely.

When I finally reached my limit it was like a damn broke. "Mn!" I gasped loudly as cum erupted from my cock, eliciting a muted sound of surprise from the Kunoichi. After just a second of hesitation she began to swallow, grunting and gulping cutely as she gulped down my load without hesitation, her tongue stroking at my quivering shaft to help coax out more semen.

Finally, finally my orgasm came to an end, leaving me both satisfied and itching for more. Sakura popped her lips off my cock. "Mmph- haah~" She took a deep breath, then grimaced slightly. "The books didn't say it's so bitter."

I couldn't help it: I chuckled. "Yes, semen is not made to be tasted."

That's the thing to remember about porn literature: it always embellished things.

====

"Can you wipe off those obnoxious grins from your faces?" I demanded in exasperation.

"Mmmh... Nope!" Killua laughed before shoving more food down his throat. "As a fraternity we're legally required to act like well-intentioned assholes towards our members."

"So very true." Minato added. "Plus, it felt good to be on the other end of the teasing for once."

"Since when we're a fraternity?!"

"Since we became a group of sole males living together in the same place." Rin pointed out. "Leaving the precise details aside."

"No, no. Do not leave the details asi-"

"We're back!" Issei loudly declared as he descended from the sky on dragon wings, followed by a running Tsuna and Riku. "We found it!"

"Found what?"

Tsuna smiled. "The Tower of Paradise."

Understandably galvanized by the news we followed the three explorers to the closer wall, and at their urging climbed it. Rito, Minato and Rin needed help since they lacked appropriate powers, but eventually we reached the top.

And then as one we looked down.

"We were standing on it the whole time..." I gasped in shock at the sight of the wall continuing uninterrupted down and to the sides as far as my eyes could see. At least there was a barely noticeable incline to the walls on my sides, which told me the tower was circular, but the structure was so deep(tall?) before disappearing from sight inside gargantuan banks of white clouds that looking at it for too long gave me a migraine.

"And look." Tsuna stepped on the outer wall without hesitation, and remained perpendicular to the surface like a Ninja using chakra. "I'm not doing anything, gravity reassessed itself to accommodate my new position. I really should have predicted it, after all the concepts of 'up' and 'down' have little meaning inside a spiritual world."

"Neat." Ranma commented as we all moved on the outer wall, jumping up and down a few times to test the reassessed gravity. "We found the Tower, now we just need to find a way to walk inside it, innit?"

"True." I hummed, looking around— only to blink in shock when I suddenly saw a door-shaped opening a few feet in front of me, a set of stairs leading inside the tower. "That wasn't there before, was it?"

====

Later, after a few experiments confirmed that a door leading inside the tower popped up every time I thought about needing one -but never in a spot any one of us was looking at the time- we finally ventured inside.

After a few minutes of walking up(down?) the stairs we emerged in a large hall, its baroque architecture reminding me of ancient European cathedrals. The room was circular in design, masterfully decorated but bare of anything resembling furniture. A straight path painted blue started from the entrance we used and reached the center of the hall, continuing up another set of stairs before ending before a closed door set inside a disk-like structure similar to the face of a clock.

It was similar to the entrance of Tartarus in Persona 3, making me suspect whoever designed it used the game as inspiration. That, or Sword Art Online.

I felt my eyebrows twitching and my eyes watering when, while walking around the set of stairs, I noticed a second set of shorter stairs located under the first. Leading downwards before ending in front of a second door: it was identical to the first one, but unlike the other this door was covered in several meters of thick chains and reinforced lockets. As if someone wanted to be absolutely sure it couldn't be opened by anyone.

Just looking at the second door gave me a bad vibe, sending several chills down my spine.

"What are you looking at, Lee?" Rito asked as he walked closer to me. He was looking straight at the second door, but it was like he was seeing nothing but empty air.

"Do any of you see it?" I gestured to the second door. "Another set of stairs and a door covered in chains? Right there?"

"I can't." Tsuna approached the spot I pointed out, but instead of descending the stairs he walked above them. As if there was an invisible wall covering them. The Mafia Boss carefully looked around, eyes glowing with Sky Flames. "My Hyper Intuition isn't picking up anything. I believe this is something meant only for you, Lee."

"Yeah, well it can wait." I took a few steps back and shook my head. "Just looking at that door gives me shivers, so I'm leaving it for later. Much, much later."

"Peons! Look at what your king found!" Laharl shouted, walking down the first set of stairs with a book in hand. "I found it on a pedestal in front of the door."

He showed us the title written in big, golden letters.

[Torre del Paradiso: The Complete User Manual For Dummies]

Ah, there it was: my power's propensity to be a complete asshole. I missed you, truly I did.