Chapter two

Love for me was something I needed, I breathed love. Everything in my life became attached to the person I was with. But the day Alex left me, I started to change. I had a crush on every boy I met, I wanted to feel the love that I have been deprived from since the day my mom died. But some say:" we need someone to understand more than we need someone to love." At some point, I thought the person you love will understand. Later on I discovered that wasn't true, not every two people in a relationship can understand each other, but every successful relationship is built on understanding.

Every day after school, I used to go see my friends. I loved being surrounded with guys, they even considered me as one of the boys. I wore my hoodie and cover my hair with its hat. We had so much fun together, they even got me out of depression. After the break up in six months, when I was with my friend in his store, a tall man stood behind me, but I didn't know who he was.

"I want to introduce you to my brother.'' my friend said.

I turned around to see him. He was a muscled man with dark hair and the most amazing smile you can ever see.

"Hello, I'm Clara, nice to meet you."

"Wait a moment, you are a girl !!" his brother was surprised; he didn't know that I was a girl because of what I was wearing.

"Get that of your head." My friend took the hat of my head to let my hair down.

"Wow! You're beautiful!" my brother's friend said.

Day after day, the picture of that muscled guy didn't leave my brain. I didn't know anything about him except that he was the brother of my friend, Joe. So I picked up the phone and called my friend.

"Hey Joe, what is the name of your brother?" I said the moment Joe picked the phone.

"You mean Louis, he is here you can come and see him if you want" he replied.

"I can't now, maybe later"

"Okay then I will send you his number if you want talk to him.''

Night came, I hesitated, I didn't know if I should talk to Louis or not. Then I took a deep breath and sent him a message. He replied immediately saying that he was waiting for me to talk to him, we chatted the whole night; we had so much in common. Before we slept, we decided to meet at the store the next day.

The next day, Joe was surprised by the visit, not because he didn't know I was coming but I was dressed like a girl for the first time.

"What is going on?!! You look like you dressed your whole closet!" Joe said with a surprise.

I didn't say anything, five minutes later Louis arrived. Joe then knew what is happening, so he left the store to leave us alone. We talked a little then Louis hold my hand and said:

"Let us go to my house, it is more safe there. I don't want anyone to see you"

I was afraid but I accepted his suggestion. Maybe he was right, no one should see us together since everybody in the neighborhood knew who we were.

It was the first time I did something like this. I never went to a guy's house. I didn't even ask him if he was alone. He left the store before me and I followed him. On my way out, Joe asked where I was going, but I said I had something to do.

We entered the house, it was a small apartment with old furniture. I knew that Louis wasn't wealthy but I didn't know that he was that poor. He sat on couch and asked me to sit beside him. We watched T.V for a while then he came closer to kiss me on the cheek. I let him do it, I didn't know why, maybe it was day of craziness. He carried me and put me on his bed. I tried to leave but he calmed me down and said that he wouldn't do anything for me since I wasn't eighteen yet. We just kissed and then I left.

A week passed, I didn't hear anything from Louis. I thought that he was sad that I didn't let him do anything with me. I didn't want to lose the guy I felt safe with, so I called him and agreed to meet in the afternoon.

This time I prepared to let Louis do whatever he wants with me. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Louis opened the door for me shirtless, I couldn't prevent myself from kissing him. We kissed all the way to the room.

Everything happened as I prepared for, maybe it wasn't the right thing to do. All I was thinking about is to keep him closer. Then I went home took a shower and called him. I was feeling so tired, but Louis said it is normal to feel like that the first time.

We met day after day, our relationship was so tight that we knew everything about each other, at least I thought so. One day, Louis didn't call. I felt something was wrong, so I went to his house. His brother opened the door for me.

"Is Louis here?" I asked with fear

"No, he traveled early today, but how do you know the house?!" he said surprised.

"long story, I'll tell you later"

I ran all the way down crying, I couldn't believe that he left without telling me. One week passed with no calls or a message, then one night I received a message from him. I quickly washed my face and called him, the moment he answered the phone, I asked him without even saying "hi":

"Where have you been?"

"I was out of the country, on a secret mission, I'll tell you all about it when we meet."

I was relieved that nothing happened to him, but the big question was "why he didn't say anything before"

The next morning, we met at his house, and he answered all my questions.

He was working for the government, and all his trips came with no previous notice. Every time Louis disappeared, I knew he was on one of his missions.

One year passed with Louis, leaving and getting back after a week or two, and every time he got back we meet spent few hours together and make out. But something happened that changed my whole life.

I was not feeling well, I thought at first because I was missing Louis, but there was something else. I have been missing my period for about two months, so I made a pregnancy test and it was positive. I was so nervous, what I will do and what about Louis and my father.

Louis was back, we agreed to meet but this time not at his house. I met him in a coffee shop in the city so nobody would see us.

"I want to tell you something but promise you will not get mad." I said.

"Okay, I promise"

"I'm pregnant, Louis." I said in a low voice.

Louis was silent for a moment, he tried to stay calm and solve the problem. As for me, I was scared and nervous of what will happen if anybody find out.

"So what, I'll marry you, we will wait to the next month till you turn eighteen and we will get married." he replied.

I was somehow relieved with this solution. Although I had no other choice and I liked being with Louis, there was my father.

"how I will tell my father?" I asked him.

"don't say anything now. When it is the time, we will tell him together."

The next month came, the month I will turn eighteen and marry Louis. Before a week from my birthday, Louis went on a mission, but before he left, he called me saying that he will be there on my birthday or maybe before that.

The week was about to end, and Louis didn't show up yet, so I called his brother Joe and asked about him.

"I think this time he will be late, he told me that two days ago." Joe answered

"but he promised to be here on my birthday, we had plans!"

"I'm sorry, but he will not"

I put the phone down, I started crying, what will happen to me and the child that was growing inside my body. So many questions came to my mind that night. I was too young to raise a child alone, moreover if my dad found out, he would kill me.

My birthday passed and Louis hadn't come back yet...That night my phone vibrated, there was a message from a guy asking to send him a video that I shared on my page. Then he sent a voice message thanking me. His voice was familiar, so I asked him if he knew me. After several questions and answers, we remembered that we were friends when we were kids.

'When you first replied, I noticed that as if you were crying" he said after chatting a bit.

'That is right, I am in a big problem and I don't know what to do"

"Tell me, maybe I can help."

"I will tell you, but promise me that you don't tell anybody "

Then I told him the whole story and he promised that he wouldn't tell anyone and he will try to help me get abortion. The next day he asked for a doctor who could make such a surgery and he found. We agreed to tell my father that I am spending the night at my friend's house and go to the hospital. Everything went as we planned and I thanked him very much for standing next to me.