From me to you

It's been a few years since I've been able to cope with you being gone and my entire life has been a constant uphill battle, between fighting depression to being happy, I haven't felt anything in my life being good at all. So this is a letter from me to you, hopefully, it'll reach you.

I began story writing at a young age, looking at the way the pencil moves always excited me. Writing my stories about stupid plays, that I then acted out and then was called not funny by the whole class was a fun thing every day.

The life you wanted we semi-got it, we're able to cope better with loss, ain't that good for us? Not particularly, it feels like I lost a part of me that I never will get back. But this isn't about loss, this letter is an ambiguous attempt to put your emotions in words that you can't form in your mouth.

Words that you'll never be able to say ever, it's poetic enough to be writing this. After all the losses you went through, I'm surprised you didn't end your life. As I write this you're probably contemplating as we speak, or at least hoping you were better off dead. But we don't want that, do we? We constantly talk about the era of consistency but this is the era of you taking accountability.

You remember that woman you hurt, or that man you left on this path. You are your villain, just as you're a villain in their lives. Poetic again don't you think? Being a villain in not only your life but someone else's.

Like all your exes, or the times you lied to them all for the gain of your consciousness. Not to bash you, but I'm here as a reminder, a fact. A fact to not forget the feeling you're feeling so you don't forget how this affected you.

What am I talking about? The feeling of loss? No, I think it's the feeling of losing your control. You lost control of her… and now you lost your way. Or did she fuck you up that bad you forget how to live, if so you're no better than a puppet.

But I'm not here to attack you, I'm the voice in your head when you're alone. I'm the voice in your head when all is lost. I'm also the one who's been here forever and will stay forever.

You have been looking at the sky since your mom died.

And the sky has been raining on you like someone is crying for you.

It breaks my heart you know…