It's that hard

To say she was getting used to the harassment, would be wrong. Very wrong. Nobody could get used to such a horrendous thing, and this was Mirha, who slapped her only friend, if she could call him that, only because he dared utter an obscenity. Every day was even more hard to go through, and she kept on dragging herself through the torment nevertheless, simply because she had no other option.

To make things worse, there was Hadi who did something she never expected of him. She was disappointed, to say the least. Hurt and angry for thinking she would go around making out with random guys, said someone who kissed a girl without remorse, and didn't even show the slightest bit of empathy when she was forced to drop out of university by her parents.

Mirha was mad at Hadi, thought ill of him, and stayed in a sour mood all throughout the two weeks - things she rarely did - plus, the situation at work wasn't helping.

Her freshman year was coming to an end, and so was Hadi's final. She wouldn't be seeing him for the rest of her life, and this instilled in her a desperation so profound she felt a lump in her throat. Anger at him only increased for having created a situation that she couldn't even say goodbye when he'd had to leave once and for all, that she couldn't spend some more time with him in his final days. Only two weeks were to go.

If she was embarrassed at feeling that way, she didn't try to think too much about it. The less she could focus on her studies as she would find herself thinking about him in between classes, the harder she tried to pay attention, only straining her mind in the process.

It was the last module of the year, and the result of the previous was displayed today on the notice board outside the department main doors, on the wall to the left.

Her heart was racing, as she walked down the corridor, wringing her fingers, following other students of her batch as they turned a corner and came out in the open. Taking the gravel path they went to the main doors, where there were already others huddled around it.

Mirha sat down on the fence wall and waited patiently as the students took turns finding their names on the list, then talking incessantly among themselves slowly walked away, either disappointed, or immensely proud, or even completely indifferent.

When the area finally cleared with just a few lingering around, Mirha came down the wall and went to the board. Stopping directly in front of it, she heaved a long breath and looked down the list to glimpse her name.

It was among the top forty, the ones who had gotten As and A1s.

Hers was A.

For a moment she paused, blinking at the letter in the column next to the names, dumbfounded. How could she jump from D to A was beyond her, even though she knew she had worked extra hard, knew that Hadi had worked hard on her, she just couldn't believe she had that potential that is required to score an A.

Then she laughed, incredulous and skeptical, her hand went to her mouth, eyes still fixed on her name, as if looking away would turn the A into C.

When she finally tore her gaze and looked around, wondering who might she tell, who would care enough, she thought of Hadi, the first name her brain supplied her with.

Shaking her head, she settled on someone else, and went up to the lecture hall where Mirha knew she'd find Professor Tabassum, and sure enough she was there; boy cut, dyed brown hair, a coat over a black sari, and a mole under her chin, was the middle aged professor students weren't really fond of.

She wasn't particularly as enthusiastic as Mirha was obviously, and even though she said she was happy for Mirha, impressed, Mirha wasn't all satisfied after talking to her.

So she dialled home after coming out of the hall, and her sister picked up the call.

"So, Shazil told me you were doing okay?" She said after all the greetings.

"Yeah, I'm fine. How's Shayan? Shazil told me he wasn't feeling okay so he didn't come. Is everything alright there?" Mirha asked as she sat down on a bench in the garden.

"He caught fever, but you don't worry, he's all fine now. Went to school and now's at work."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "What work?"

"The tyre shop he goes to? Didn't Shazil tell you?"

"No! He mentioned no such thing." Mirha said crossly.

"Well okay, but he does. And so does Shazil himself. He goes to the tea shop, the one we used to go to after school, remember?"

"I remember, Aqsa, but I told them not to! How could they! If I had wanted them to work, why would I go through the trouble myself? I'm doing all of it for you, Aqsa I'm not getting anything out of it. I don't keep more than five hundred for myself out of the five thousand that I earn."

"Hey hey, slow down. Besides that's not even the point and you know that. What they're doing, they're doing it for you-"

"I don't want them to!"

"And they don't give two hoots about what you want. They're two growing men, Mirha, they can't fathom sitting at home while you work. They had to take that decision at some point. Let them please, it's not like they're skipping school."

Mirha sighed, beginning to give up. She hated arguing. "But I wanted them to focus entirely on studies, Aqsa."

"Trust me, they are. Both of them work hard. One day, you'll see, they would be what our father and uncle couldn't become."

Mirha stayed quiet and silence stretched between them, where she tried to accept the situation, tried to accept a life where her little brothers earned a living.

"So, 'sup?" Her sister finally said after a long pause

A faint smile made its way across her face. "I got an A in the last semester. Its result just came out."

"Uh, what's so special in that?" Aqsa said, a bit reluctantly, "I mean you've always scored outstanding marks, all through high school."

"Yeah, well, it's different here. You rarely score good."

"Really? It's that hard?" She sounded surprised.

She wouldn't understand, Mirha thought as she sighed. "It's that hard."

"Great! I love challenges." Aqsa let out a soft laugh, "And I'll be joining you in three years, don't you worry."

Three years felt so far, a lot would happen before that time even came. "Sure."

Talking a little more for a few minutes, Mirha hung up, with a feeling of dissatisfaction still there.

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