I'm sorry

They were having frequent meetings now, with him and some other people from his company. Hadi was always to the point, professional. Mirha wondered if it was because Mohib was always there with them, though she didn't mind his presence at all, in fact was much relieved. But even when they were alone the two times, if only for a minute, Hadi didn't try to say anything to her. Mirha was really beginning to doubt if he had really forgotten all about her. And if it was true, then it really hurt. Hadi, it seemed, had never really cared about her. It was all a facade.

Mirha was in his office, waiting for him because he wasn't there, but was informed by his secretary that she had come to see him. She wanted her check signed, the remaining amount after the advance, for she wanted it to buy the dowry for her sister, who she was marrying to one of her batchmates, Aqsa had told. Since he had shown not an inkling of recognition, Mirha wasn't nervous at all as she sat on the chair in his office. It was going to take only a moment anyway, and then she'd be off from here.

The door opened, a few moments later he was in front of her, across the desk. Mirha had come alone because she couldn't have asked Mohib, she couldn't have risked raising his suspicions.

"I just want the remaining amount." She spoke as he stood behind the desk, peering down at her.

"Any special reason you need it. I mean, it was promised for the launch date, no?" He was still standing, looking for something in the desk drawer, though the checkbook was lying on the top.

"Yes, and I am sorry for asking it before, it's just," she hesitated, as Hadi finally sat down, upon finding the Checkbook on the desk, "I have to arrange my sister's wedding."

"Aqsa." He blurted, and once realising he had said it aloud, he looked up at her. "I'm sorry, I'm-"

Mirha averted her gaze, as her heart thudded inside her chest,  and said quietly, "I didn't hear anything."

Silence stretched between them. A long stretched silence that only infused awkwardness in every inch of the space in the room.

When Mirha seemed to be at a loss of words to break the silence, Hadi felt like he couldn't take it anymore. He heaved a sigh, and dropped the pen he'd taken from the holder and rose up to his feet. Mirha saw him come around the table, pull out the chair to her right and sit down.

Mirha didn't want this to happen, she didn't want things to get awkward between them, didn't want the past to be remembered. Keeping her fingers crossed, she wished Hadi really had forgotten who she was. She just wanted to run away before he could start saying anything.

Hadi's gaze flitted between Mirha and the floor. He seemed to be looking for the right words. Seconds passed.

Mirha opened her mouth, wanting to divert his attention back to the task he was supposed to perform. "The amount-"

He cut her short. "I can't." When he looked up, their eyes met and Mirha looked away. "I can't pretend anymore. It's getting on my nerves that you're there in front of me and I'm not talking to you. It's driving me crazy." Hadi pushed himself a little closer. Their knees touched. His eyes seemed wild, eager.  "Hell, you have no idea how hard it is for me. If this thing we're doing together, if this thing is what's going to be now, then I can't carry on like this. Can't pretend."

She clenched her hands to stop them from shivering, her breathing erratic. "You shouldn't have bid a million for the program. We wouldn't have come to this then." She said, barely managing to keep her voice flat.

"But I really liked it. I really liked what you did there. I was proud. Really really proud. And I'm equally nervous now. I don't know what I am saying and why I am saying what I am saying, but I guess I have had enough. What happened between us, do you honestly think Mirha,  it matters now?"

Her gaze snapped to him, resentment boiling from her heart. He was looking at her, and she could see the moisture in his eyes, but she didn't care. "You wanted to throw me in front of your friend, why would that ever not matter?"

His featured twisted into an expression of intense desperation. "I didn't want to Mirha, I would never in my senses would personally do any such thing to anyone at all. I just wanted to keep Bilal off for as long as I could. You didn't know him, he could have done anything to get even with you right on that very day, if I hadn't stopped him. And he's dead Mirha." He shook his head. Mirha thought she saw a trace of vulnerability cross his eyes. "Fourteen years. I knew him for fourteen years, and it wasn't easy,  it wasn't easy to move on, that too at the time when I had lost you too."

She wasn't insensitive, she had felt the loss even when she had first got to know about it. To find that the person you had even only once met, has died is a shock that takes moments to shake off. It isn't easy to forget that Bilal was no longer alive, a person she had known for an entire year. It was hard to imagine what the loss that Hadi went through felt like.  So Mirha dropped her gaze and muttered. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too. For him, for you, for myself." He said, "I'm a changed man, now Mirha. I really am. And I've never said this to you, but - God, it really did hurt losing you. I can't bring back Bilal, but I also can't pretend anymore. Knowing you are there, that I still have the chance to make you mine. Marry me, please?"

And there it was. Something she had secretly wished for that night, the night when the tables had turned. Mirha swallowed. She had long come to terms with the feelings she held for him, but did it mean she should forget what had almost happened to her? Should she? Bilal was dead. There was nothing to regret, nothing to resent. Mirha really liked him, she did, and if she walked away today, she knew it would be a wrong decision based entirely on her senseless persistence. Hadi had cleared his position, had apologized.

"Mirha? I'll make sure you won't regret me." He was saying.

Tears struck her eyes. She tucked her lower lip between her teeth, and then slowly, very slowly she raised her head to meet his gaze, and nodded.

She was the only witness to the dazzling smile that crawled up on his face, a smile rich with all the pure intentions, a smile only for her.  And with that smile Mirha knew she had made the right decision.

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