Chapter 150, Facing the Darkness

Will and the others gathered but I waited till everyone was here before casting a large scale barrier that blocks out most of the world around us. I'm afraid, afraid that someone may try to eavesdrop on us. The things I must discuss, the things we must decide on, the things I have to tell them.

"So, Arata, why'd you call us here?" Andrew asked but for a while, I worked to muster up the courage to answer.

"I... wanted to... talk to everyone... about something..." My voice was trembling.

Suddenly, Will embraces me and I realize, I'm trembling from head to toe, not just my voice. The others begin to sit down and as they do, I cling to Will for a while till I have braced myself. I'm sobbing, my voice is trembling even through my cries.

"You're still trembling..." Will says as he hugs me tightly. "Arata, in front of us, in front of the people who care about you, you don't need to act strong."

"Yeah. Arata, if you feel like camplaining or whining about your current state, if you feel like crying or your about to break down, know that we're here for you." Ethan smiles.

"Just as you were there for us." Andrew takes my hand.

"All of us here, will accept your everything." Zhen smiled.

"Your fears." Hiro smiles.

"Your regrets." Theo pats my head.

"Your disappointments." Mayumi sits down before me.

"Your worries." Lina added.

"Your pains." Monica tucks a strand of my hair back.

"Your tears." Van says as he kneels down.

"Your tasks." Dino smiles.

"And above all, your burdens." Will says.

For the first... I feel a warmth in me I've never felt before. No... it's a warmth I've felt before, definitely.... but... where?

As the memories of my past flash before my eyes, I recalled where this warmth came from, where it will always come from and where it will always return to. To my family. To the people I care about and the ones wuo care about you. The bond of a family isn't just blood after all, it connects us, deel in our hearts.

As tears drip down my cheek, I being to cry and in everyone's eyes, for the first time, since the day I became the Le Fleur, cry and cry like a child, releasing all the pains that have built up inside me. The pains I can never put into words, everything, come out as cries, like those of a new born child.

When finish, Zander hands me a glass of water and I drink about a quart before I clear my throat and finally begin to calm down.

"I... was walking down the halls..." I began and the others fall silent. "I overheard a coversation between Kazu and Nagisa..."

"About what?" Adonis asked.

"I know... it's already too late... to be... saying this..." I say as I calm my heart. "But... being around me... really does bring problems."

"Is that all?!" Adele snapped.

"No. Not just that..." I answered.

"Lately... there's been something lurking in the back of my head." I answered. "An insecurity or something... creeping along, trying pull me under."

"Arata, when did it start?" Van asked.

"I guess... when I started to be aware of certain things." I answered.

This darkness started that day... when I destroyed the Gems of Sloth and Greed. I still recall my rage from that time but there was something else along with the rage. A doubt, that slowly, began to creep it's way into my heart.

"I see... that's what it is." Van says. "Arata, what youre feeling is very common. Doubt, worry, uneasiness, fear, they're negative emotions that everyone is familiar with."

"But... it seems that you aren't use to them. As such, you're susceptible to them." He adds. "Because you are weak to such negative emotions, I'm guessing that enemy is trying to plant a darkness inside you and try to break you."

"What do I do?" I asked afraid.

I understand so little of these negative emotions I've never met nor had use for before. I know though, that they are common for the others but... for me, they aren't. I've never been doubtful of anyone, never had a reason to feel uneasy about others nor be afriad or worried about things. I've always been carefree in the aspect of negative emotions.

"It perfectly normal to have fears, to be afraid, to worry about things and to feel uneasy at times but..." Van says. "You can't let them overtake you."

"How do I do that?" I asked and he stays quiet.

"Whenever you feel like the darkness will overtake you, think of why it hasn't done it after all you've been through." Rum says. "You've gone through alot right, Le Fleur."

I pause for a moment, reviewing my past, from the day I became the Le Fleur to now. My time before I met Theo and Lia, my life in the Garden, my life after losing my memories, my life after meeting Liam, and Alistar, and the others.

He's right, I've faced a lot of thinsg but... why is it that I never caved when I was faced with some many problems.

Just then, my mind goes black and I lose consciousness.

----

Arata faints, Will catches him but Arata is ina deep sleep. He seems to be fine but the others are worried. Just when they were about to do something, Van stops them.

"Why?" Leon asks carefully

"Arata... is facing a battle he must fight on his own." Zander answers. "The darkness in his jeart, it isn't something born from the world but from himself."

"In order to overcome it, Arata must face it and find the answer to my question." Van states. "What is it, tjat has pushed your through so many though battles and trails?"

With Van's words hanging in the air, the others simply sit, waiting for Arata, having faith that he came defeat the darkness in heart. That he can banish it, just like he did for the.